5. Tessa
5
TESSA
I can't get that kiss out of my head.
It's been days since the party, but every time I close my eyes, I'm back in that moment, Devin's lips on mine, the shock of it still making my heart skip a beat. And it's not just the kiss—that would be bad enough—but there's also Jace, with his easy smiles and effortless charm. It's like I can't escape them, the Sigma Thetas. They're everywhere, and worse, they're getting under my skin.
I need to clear my mind and get some perspective, so I head over to Valencia's dorm, my footsteps echoing as I trudge up the steps of the sorority house.
Valencia's the one person I can talk to about all of this without feeling like I'm going off the deep end. She's my best friend and she's always had this way of cutting through the noise, helping me see things for what they truly are.
When I knock on her door, she opens it almost immediately, like she's been waiting for me. Her eyes widen when she sees my expression, and she steps aside to let me in without a word.
"You look like you've seen a ghost," she says as I drop onto her bed.
"Not quite," I mutter, running a hand through my hair. "More like…kissed one."
Valencia's eyebrows shoot up. "Kissed one? Tessa, what are you talking about?"
I let out a frustrated sigh and start pacing the small room. "At the party, I ended up playing spin the bottle. And—don't laugh—Devin kissed me."
She blinks at me, surprised, but she doesn't laugh. "Devin? He kissed you?"
"Yeah," I say, running my hand through my hair. "It wasn't just some stupid kiss either, Val. It was…I don't know how to explain it. There was something there."
"You like him?" she asks, keeping her tone neutral.
"No! Yes? I'm not sure. And then I've been spending time with Jace Whitmore lately, so I'm even more confused."
She watches me for a moment, expression unreadable before coming to sit down next to me.
"Just be careful, girl. They're frat guys and they like to play around."
"What about Matteo?" I tease, nudging into her with my shoulder.
Valencia frowns. "Matteo is different. Those guys might be different too, but I know you're too smart to get caught up in their charms, okay?"
"I know," I say, dropping my head into my hands. "But it's like…I don't know. It's confusing."
"Of course it is," she says gently. "You've seen the worst of them, but now you're seeing another side. But that doesn't mean you should just forget everything you know about them. Just…keep your guard up, okay?"
I nod, trying to absorb her words, but my thoughts are still swirling. "You're right," I say after a moment. "I'll be careful. I just need to figure out what's going on in my own head first."
When I finally leave Valencia's room, the sun has dipped below the horizon, and the campus is shrouded in shadows.
As I walk back to my dorm, I can't shake the feeling that someone's watching me. I glance over my shoulder more than once, but the path is empty. Still, the prickling sensation at the back of my neck doesn't go away. I pick up my pace, my pulse quickening.
I'm being paranoid. It's just because I'm on edge. That's all.
But the feeling doesn't leave, and when I hear what sounds like footsteps behind me, I don't take any chances. I duck into the campus café, the warm, familiar smell of coffee instantly wrapping around me. My heart's still pounding, but at least in here I'm surrounded by people. I'm safe.
I take a deep breath trying to calm myself down, but when I turn toward the counter, I nearly walk right into Alec.
Oh. Great.
He looks just as surprised as I am, his eyes narrowing as he takes me in. "What are you doing here, Collins?" His tone is sharp, and I can already feel my irritation rising.
"Grabbing a coffee, what does it look like?" I snap back, crossing my arms. "And you? Are you looking to ruin my good time again?"
Alec's jaw tightens, and I can see the frustration simmering just beneath the surface. "God, you're insufferable. I know you've been coming to the Sigma parties just to snoop around, so you can back off now."
"Snoop? Please," I scoff, but I can feel my heart racing for a different reason now. Being this close to Alec, sparring with him, it's almost too much after everything that's been happening. "I'm not interested in whatever you and your little frat are up to tonight. I'm just getting coffee."
"Yeah, sure you are," he mutters, but there's a hint of something else in his voice—maybe doubt, maybe something more.
I sigh, feeling like the tension between us is starting to become pointless. "I have to admit that you guys are doing a good job of keeping the frat's reputation pristine so far," I tell him.
He glances at me and I see the surprise in his eyes. "It must kill you to admit that," he says, though his tone is softer, almost teasing.
"You have no idea," I joke and when Alec steps aside, joining me at the café counter, I can't help the little leap my heart gives.
We each grab a beverage and sit down together at a table near the entrance. "I'm surprised you're willing to join your mortal enemy," I say, taking a sip of my decaf latte. I don't want to be up all night since I have a quiz tomorrow in class.
"I wouldn't consider you our enemy," Alec says, giving me a thoughtful once-over. "You're more like an annoying fly buzzing around, resisting all attempts to swat you away."
"I don't think I've ever been called a fly before," I say, considering that. "I've been called annoying, a pest, relentless, and a great many other names in my short career in journalism but a fly? That's a new one."
"You'll probably make bigger enemies than us in your career," Alec points out. "I'm going into law school so I'm sure I'll be making enemies as well."
"Why am I not surprised?" I ask, a half smirk on my face. "Are you going to go into politics eventually?"
"I'm not sure," Alec says, shrugging. "Regardless of what people might think of me, I don't plan out my every move."
"So you allow room in your schedule for planned spontaneity?" I offer, biting my lip as I hold back a laugh. Alec looks at me for a moment and I worry I've pissed him off again, but he chuckles as well, giving his face a softer look.
"I've always been a little tightly wound," Alec admits. "Jace would be the first to tell you that. But I wanted to take on the job of turning things around for the fraternity for other reasons, not just for something to put on a resume."
He sighs. "It means a lot to me to be a part of a fraternity and to find out that the guys I looked up to were horrible monsters was just too much to handle. I have to change things, not just for the guys in our fraternity now but for every guy who comes after us, every guy who admires us and wants to be a part of the Sigma Theta family."
His impassioned words move me and my fingers itch to get out my tiny notebook to jot down his quotes. I can see the story in my head now: "Band of Brothers on the Road to Redemption" or something like that.
Instead, I nod and politely sip my coffee, watching his expression light up as he describes more of the plans for the fraternity this year. It's magnetic to watch him talk. He's got such a seriousness to him that seeing this impassioned, boyish side is intriguing.
Once we part ways, I head back to my dorm, keeping a close eye as I walk but sensing no lurking presence behind me. Back inside, I shrug out of my clothes and slip into some comfy pajamas before brushing my teeth and getting into bed.
My mind drifts back to the time I spent with Alec earlier, how the light in the café caught his icy blue eyes and made them seem even more blue. The intensity in his gaze had me mesmerized and I find myself thinking about another set of blue eyes, a deeper shade of blue this time.
Jace's face swims into view and I remember the way he leaned against me at the library, pressing into my space. The woodsy scent of his cologne lingers in the back of my mind and I feel a familiar stirring deep in my belly.
Glancing around for a moment, I instruct my Alexa to play music and I shimmy out of my pants, reaching in my drawer for the rabbit I keep nearby.
Pressing the vibrating device to my folds, I let out a tiny whine as I imagine Jace's warm hands touching me all over before Devin's soft lips crash into mine. The thought of the two of them at the same time has me pressing my thighs together, aching for more. I imagine Jace's fingers teasing me the way the vibrator is now, circling my clit with sure strokes that get rougher with each pass.
The vibrations hum against me, bringing me higher and higher. Just when I start thinking I can't get any more turned on, I imagine Alec joining the three of us and my body draws tight, their names spilling from my lips as I release.
As I lay back, basking in the afterglow, my mind whirls with what I've just done. Really? All three of them at the same time? Am I some kind of slut?
Besides, I can't get involved with them anyway. I have to stay impartial, to protect the integrity of their story. I better forget about these silly little crushes.