24. Tessa

24

TESSA

T he hum of my laptop fills the quiet space as I slump deeper into my chair, feeling utterly drained. My body aches, my head swims, and the constant wave of nausea hasn't let up in days. I've been chalking it all up to stress—after everything that's happened, how could it not be? The coffee event, the rumors, the humiliation…it's all been too much. But something feels different, deeper. More than just exhaustion from fighting battles I never asked for.

I reach for my phone, intending to add a reminder to my calendar. I need to figure out what deadlines I'm up against this week and maybe reschedule a few things. But when the app opens, something catches my eye. A tiny, seemingly insignificant detail—except it sends my stomach into knots.

I've missed my period. Twice.

The realization hits me like a punch to the gut. How did I not notice this sooner? I try to think back—late nights, the stress, the whirlwind of everything crashing down. It was easy to overlook. But now, with every little symptom pulling me down, it suddenly makes sense.

"No," I murmur to myself, shaking my head, trying to push the thought away. It can't be that. This is just my mind playing tricks on me. I'm not pregnant. I can't be.

But I need to know for sure.

The drugstore trip is a blur, my hands trembling as I grab a pregnancy test off the shelf, my heart pounding as if it might burst out of my chest. The whole time, I keep telling myself it's just to ease my mind, to prove to myself that I'm overthinking. That once I see the negative result, I'll feel better and move on. That's all this is—paranoia.

But the results staring back at me tell a different story.

Two little pink lines. Positive.

I stare at the test in disbelief, my breath catching in my throat. It doesn't feel real. My whole body goes numb like I'm floating outside myself, watching this play out from a distance. My heart beats louder in my ears as the implications sink in. Fuck. I'm pregnant.

I sit there for what feels like an eternity, the world spinning around me as I try to wrap my head around what this means. Before I can process it further, there's a knock at my door, and my heart leaps in my chest. I freeze, staring at the test still clutched in my hand. The knock comes again, louder this time and someone calls out for me.

It's Devin.

Panic surges through me, my hands fumbling as I quickly shove the test into my bag, trying to compose myself. I can't talk to him—not right now.

"Tessa?" Devin's voice filters through the door, sending a fresh wave of panic through me.

I freeze, my hand hovering over the doorknob. Of course, it had to be him. The one person I can't deal with right now. Not after this.

There's another knock, more insistent this time. "Can we talk? Please."

I take a deep breath, trying to calm the frantic beating of my heart before I crack the door open just a sliver. Devin's standing there, but I can't look him in the eyes. My gaze darts past him, scanning the hallway to make sure no one else is around. The last thing I need is someone catching us talking—catching me in this vulnerable state.

"Tessa," he says quietly, trying to meet my eyes. His voice is softer than usual, almost pleading. "Can we talk? Please."

I swallow, forcing myself to respond even though my throat feels tight. "What do you want, Devin?"

"I wanted to apologize. For everything," he says, his voice thick with regret. "I know I screwed up. We all did. I…I just want to make things right."

I hesitate, the door still only open a sliver. My fingers tighten on the edge, the pressure grounding me. The panic inside me bubbles up, threatening to spill over. If I let him in, if I talk to him, I don't know if I'll be able to keep it together. Not now. Not after what I just found out.

"Now's not a good time," I manage to say, my voice sharper than intended.

Devin frowns, his eyes narrowing as if he can sense there's more I'm not saying. "Can I come in? Just for a minute? I want to explain?—"

"I said it's not a good time," I snap, my tone brittle. My eyes flit anywhere but his face, afraid that if I look at him for too long, he'll see through me. See the panic, the fear, the secret I'm desperately trying to keep hidden.

"I know we've been at each other's throats," he says, his voice growing more determined. "But we don't have to keep doing this. Let me help. Whatever's going on, I can?—"

"I don't need your help," I cut him off, the words harsher than I mean them to be. But I can't let him in. Not when I'm this close to breaking. "Just…go away."

He steps forward, closer to the threshold, and my heart leaps into my throat. "Tessa, if something's wrong, you can tell me. I know I've messed things up, but you don't have to handle this alone."

My pulse races, and I can feel my resolve slipping. There's a moment—just a brief flicker—where I almost want to tell him. Almost want to scream the truth. But I can't. Not yet. Not until I've figured out what the hell I'm going to do.

"Just leave me the fuck alone. You've done enough damage already," I snap.

"I'm trying to fix things," he exclaims, frustration bubbling up. "But you're not giving me a chance."

I shake my head, gripping the door tighter. "I don't owe you anything, Devin." My voice cracks, and I quickly look away, my vision blurring with the threat of tears. "Just…go. Please."

The softness in my voice seems to throw him off. For a moment, he stands there, looking at me like he doesn't know what to do. Like he doesn't know what I'm doing.

"Tessa, if something's going on?—"

"Go!" I interrupt, the word sharper than before, though my chest feels like it's collapsing. I half hide behind the door, my body trembling from the effort of holding everything inside. "I can't do this right now. Just leave me alone."

There's a long, painful pause, and for a second, I wonder if he's going to keep pushing. But then he takes a step back, the hurt flickering in his eyes.

I close the door, slumping against it as my body goes limp, tears slipping down my cheeks. My mind races back to the test, to the two pink lines, to the reality that's now unavoidable.

I'm pregnant. And one of them—Devin, Jace, or Alec—is the father.

My mind is in a whirlwind. I feel sick again, nausea rising inside me and forcing me to my feet, racing for the trash can as I heave into it, releasing the contents of my stomach for the third time today.

I can't do this. There's no way I can have a freaking baby . I'm a college student, studying journalism. That's not exactly the most lucrative career, and I have very little support.

My parents were older when they had me. My mother died of cancer when I was in high school, and my father is elderly now. I was the only child of only children and I'm more or less alone in the world.

Deciding that I'm not going to figure this out in one night, I fall into an uneasy sleep.

The next day, I head to Dr. Ava's office, hoping for some guidance. The cold winter air does little to distract me from the turmoil I'm feeling.

I knock softly and enter, finding her behind her desk, her black suit looking impeccably crisp.

"Good morning, Tessa," she says, looking up with a warm smile. "What brings you here today?"

"Good morning, Dr. Ava," I reply, trying to steady my voice. "I need to talk. Is this a good time?"

"Of course," she gestures to the chair. "Please, have a seat."

I sit down, struggling to find the right words. "So I recently found out that I'm pregnant. I've felt completely overwhelmed. Am I even going to be able to finish my studies? I'm only a couple semesters from graduation but this is just so overwhelming," I admit.

"That sounds tough," Dr. Ava says, nodding and reaching out to give my hand a sympathetic squeeze. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. If I keep the baby, I want to continue in school, but I'm worried about managing everything."

Dr. Ava leans forward slightly. "Just take everything one step at a time, Tessa. You're the smartest, most determined student I've worked with in a long time. You can do whatever you put your mind to, I know that. There are plenty of resources on campus and I'm always here if you need help."

My shoulders sag in relief. Dr. Ava is the closest thing to a maternal figure I have in my life and if she thinks I'm capable, then I know I can do it. Even if I'm not sure of what I'm doing for now, I feel much better after talking to her.

As I leave, another thought occurs to me—the feud between me and the Sigmas could become a big problem if I don't nip things in the bud right now.

I'm just going to have to start avoiding them from now on. That's all they've wanted, right? For me to stay out of their way? Well, looks like they're getting their wish.

I start walking toward the library to do some studying when I notice Alec in the corner of my eye. He doesn't see me yet, so I decide to head in the opposite direction.

But luck doesn't seem to be on my side because I glance back to see that he's spotted me, and he's started to follow me.

Shit. What does he want now?