19. Teysha

19

TEYSHA

I'm not sure what to think the first time I set foot inside the Steel Saloon. The bar's dated, with wood-paneled walls and worn down floor boards. Beer posters of scantily clad women are plastered all over and there's a vague smell of cigarette smoke that seems permanent.

But I'm greeted with a huge smile from the white-haired man behind the counter. His bushy brows jump high on his forehead, and he waves me over like we've met before.

"You must be Teysha."

"Hello," I say graciously, shaking his hand. "How did you know my name?"

"Everybody here knows your name. Your Ghost's girl."

My cheeks warm. "I didn't realize Logan told you all about me."

"Of course he did," he says. "He made us promise to take care of you while he's gone. Name's Mick. This is Tito."

" Hola hermosa esposa de Ghost ."

My smile's an uncertain one. "Hello, Ghost's beautiful wife? "

"And she knows Spanish!" The man named Tito claps his hands in approval. "You're a keeper."

"I took three years in high school."

"Sit down, Teysha," Mick says, gesturing to the barstools. "Can I fix you a drink?"

I blink at him. "It's… ten a.m."

"Don't let the wall of liquor bottles fool you. We have coffee."

" Burnt coffee," Sydney says from a doorway that leads to the back of the saloon. She starts toward the bar counter, opening her arms up to give me a quick hug.

"Burnt coffee is still coffee," Mick mumbles.

"So glad you could make it. Did you drive yourself?"

"Logan's truck."

"If he's letting you drive his cars, he's got it bad."

I snicker. "I don't think he had any other choice considering he's away."

"Consider it a win anyway. He could've hidden the keys. I'll show you the guest room we've prepped."

I follow Sydney from the barroom to the house that sits behind the Steel Saloon. I'm not sure what I was expecting. It looks surprisingly normal for belonging to the president of a biker club.

"Mace's dad's serving fifteen," Sydney explains, twisting the knob on the front door. "He won't be up for parole for another five."

"I'm surprised Logan doesn't live here too."

"Mace says he's always liked his privacy... and apparently he wasn't Velma's biggest fan."

"Velma?"

"Long story. Maybe over shots of tequila."

I chew on my bottom lip to keep from pointing out that I've never had tequila before. I've only ever drank whiskey— with Logan .

Whiskey that's left me hot and giggly.

The same kind of warmth flushes over me. The little ritual of ours might sound trivial, but it's one I've come to enjoy.

A pang of sadness hits me directly afterward. Logan won't be around for who knows how long.

A couple days at least.

I miss him already. More than he probably realizes I do. More than most would say is appropriate considering he's only been gone a few hours.

Sydney's been talking as she walks me through the house, giving me a tour. Immersed in thoughts about Logan and how I wish I could put my arms around him, I haven't heard a word. She stops abruptly once we're in the kitchen to offer me a drink.

"Grab whatever you want out of the fridge. Mace stocked up for us."

"Oh… that's okay… I don't want to… I'm not here to intrude."

"Girl, stop. You're not bothering anybody. I'm glad you're here. We'll pass the time they're gone together."

For the rest of the morning, Sydney helps me get settled. She updates me about the wedding planning she's in the thick of. They're planning for a small gathering in the meadow on the outskirts of town, but putting together a wedding, no matter how modest, requires a lot of work. I offer my services in whatever she needs.

"You'll be a bridesmaid… if you're up for it," Sydney says.

I smile. "I'd like that."

We move on from the house, returning to the saloon to help Mick. Only a handful of customers swing by so early in the afternoon. Even with the barroom empty, there's no shortage of work.

I'm happy to slip into my old role as a waitress and take care of the few customers we do have. Two bikers with fuzzy beards named Mudd and Ulysses thank me once I've delivered them their pints and salty pretzels.

"You're a natural," Mick says, whistling. "Sydney, you're fired. I've got Teysha now."

Sydney folds her arms, arching a brow. "Fired? You forget you're speaking to the head old lady?"

He scratches the sparse white hairs on his head. "Seems like just yesterday it was you walking through those doors asking about our hiring sign."

I pause from where I am wiping down a table. "I still can't believe you did it. You left Boulder to come work in a biker bar."

"What do you think you're doing right now?" Sydney raises her brows at me.

I laugh as if she's told a joke. "It's not the same thing."

"You're here, aren't you? You're Logan's old lady, right?"

"You left home to be here."

"You didn't?" Sydney asks. "I seem to remember Teysha Baxter was a waitress at the Sunny Side Up, just like me. Born and raised in Boulder. She's got a mama and grandmama who would probably prefer if she returned home. Yet you're here. Doing your own thing."

My bashful smile falters as I give a shake of my head. The feeling inside my chest tightens just at the thought of what's waiting for me at home. Mama and Grandma Renae mean well, but their suffocating love would make anyone feel like a bird trapped in a cage.

I've stayed in Pulsboro so I could breathe for the first time in my adult life.

So I could make things work with my husband.

But I'm nothing like Sydney. She stood on her own. She sought answers. Retribution for what happened to her and her family.

I could never be that brave. I'm practically in hiding, still sweating in my sleep over Abraham and the Chosen Saints. Still losing my voice whenever Mama's near. I'm so weak, Logan had to ask his brother's girlfriend—my old friend from Boulder—to watch after me while he's gone.

Sydney seems to sense I'm getting lost in my thoughts. She taps my wrist for my attention, a sympathetic bend to her mouth. "Tey, the fact that you're still standing after everything you've been through?—"

"I'm really tired," I blurt out. The dish rag slips out of my hand. "Mind if I go lay down for a while?"

It's half the truth. I've got aches and pains up and down my body. Almost like my body's acting up in protest of Logan being gone. I've pushed through the morning, but thoughts about home and Abraham and everything else are equally as exhausting.

Sydney shares a look with Mick, then nods. "Go ahead. I'll come get you around dinner."

I'm out of it as I spin on my heel and escape to the house out back. I draw the curtains in the room I'll be staying in, blocking out the bright Texas sun, and collapse into bed. Sleep comes easy. Dreamlessly.

My preference these days.

It means no nightmares about Abraham and what he put me through.

I wrap my arms around a pillow and bury my face in it, pretending it's not doughy and soft. It's hard and muscled like Logan.

It feels like I'm only out for a couple minutes. The next time I open my eyes and blink blearily around the room, I realize I'm no longer alone. I'm a breath away from screaming 'til I blink again and recognize the face I'm looking up at. The door's cracked open and none other than Korine has wandered in.

She's in coveralls stained with motor oil and grease but when she spots that I'm awake, her smile's never been brighter. She's wearing a ball cap backwards, the short strands of her pixie cut framing her face.

"Sydney asked me to come check on you. How was the nap?"

I sit up, feeling discombobulated. "Quick. What time is it?"

"A few minutes after five."

"I slept for almost four hours?!"

Korine shrugs. "Maybe you needed the rest."

"More like I needed the escape."

"It can be the same thing. I was the same way when I left my husband, Ken." She sits down on the foot on the bed and readjusts her backward ball cap. "It's crazy to think it's already been eight months since I left him."

"I didn't know that you were…"

"Married?" Korine releases a soft, wistful laugh. "Yeah, I was married. Right out of college. So, pretty young like you."

"Then what happened?"

"He beat me. So many times, I couldn't tell you about them all."

Concern pulls my lips into a frown. "That sounds horrific. I'm so sorry."

"The last time it ever happened, he hit my mother. Something inside me snapped. It's like I didn't care about myself enough to leave him. But the moment he tried to hurt Mama… I knew I had to go."

"And Blake?"

"He took us in. He stood by me every moment. He didn't have to. I was so broken, I just wanted to curl up and hide forever."

"But you seem so…" I pause, trying to sort out how to describe her. Korine with her coveralls and ball cap and the bikes in the Chop Shop she loves working on. "You're so cool and laidback. You have it all going for you."

"It took time to put myself back together. I'm just barely now… it's taken work. My ex will be sentenced later this month, and he'll be going away at least for a few years. I'm looking at it as a new beginning."

I'm picking at the loose thread on the bed sheet, considering what she's told me. If I'd been asked to guess Korine's background, I never would've answered with abusive marriage. I would've assumed she was like Sydney, so confident and unshakable.

She stands up from the foot of the bed and slides her hands into the pockets of her coveralls. "The club's a family. We have each other's backs. Sydney told me that when I first left Ken. I found it hard to believe, but it's true—we're all here for you, Teysha. Come out when you're ready."

It takes a lot of nerve and fifteen more minutes to convince myself.

I get up from the bed, fix my hair, and give myself a pep talk in the mirror. My heart still aches being away from Logan and the discomfort in my chest pulls tighter when I think about Abraham and the Chosen Saints. But I push myself to leave the house and seek out the others .

I'm halfway toward the patio when my phone chimes in my hand. It's the clerk's office.

For a second, I consider letting it go to voicemail like the others times. Then I realize it's no use ignoring the calls any longer.

Besides, I did promise Logan I'd contact them.

"I'm so glad you answered, Ms. Baxter," says Rita. "I trust you've heard the voice messages I've left about your case? It seems we'll be able to proceed with the annulment after all. I've been trying to reach your husband, but his voice message box is full."

"Right," I stammer slowly. "Err, about that… we've actually changed our minds."

She pauses. "Changed your minds?"

"About the annulment. We're working things out."

"Oh. Your husband just seemed so sure?—"

"We appreciate you reaching out, but it's not necessary," I interrupt sharply, though under a thin layer of politeness. "Have a blessed day."

I'm hanging up in the same moment Sydney spots me approaching and her face lights up.

"Here she is! I was just telling Tito to grill you a burger too."

"One burger for Ghost's girl coming right up."

"Come sit, Teysha." Korine scoots over at the bench. Her smile matches Sydney's.

I return theirs with one of my own, grateful for their friendship.

Hopeful that I've finally found my place with Logan and the Steel Kings and their Queens.