Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

B y nightfall, they still hadn't reached the ever-shifting border of the Unseelie lands, and Merlin was getting the impression that they were being kept out. He took the first watch, his companions curled into bedrolls around the fire.

How many times had he sat in a similar position? A small group going off to fight an impossible foe. Slay the dragon and rescue the princess. He tried his best to remind himself that Nimue had survived the queen before. Looking at Rosa and Eirianwen, he realized that all the women the Seren Du loved had suffered at the queen's hands. Retribution was well overdue.

Merlin swallowed his anger and tried to hold more recent, happier memories of Nimue in his mind. That she had been strong enough to love him in this crumbled version of his former self was a special kind of miracle.

"What are you frowning about, cousin?" Rosa climbed out of bed and sat beside him by the burning logs.

"I was contemplating, doing some fire gazing," he lied, burying his pain. "Why are you still awake, young Rhosyn?"

"I'm waiting for the borders to shift and have Eli turn into some kind of badass god that Eirianwen keeps talking about," she lied back. She curled into him and admitted in a cracked voice, "I miss Bal."

Merlin wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "I know, cefndr . We are both rather helpless in our heartache, aren't we?"

"You're so much calmer about it than I am," Rosa sighed.

"Ha! That's because you haven't learned to read the signs when I'm ready to destroy everything." Merlin took out his tobacco pouch and rolled them both cigarettes.

"Have you been able to see them at all? In the flames?" Rosa asked.

"I haven't been game enough to try. The queen has so many wards, I worry that any interference from me would make it worse for them," he admitted. "I'm sorry you have to go through this, Rhosyn. I tried to get her to take me…you know I did."

"I didn't want her having any of you." Rosa lit her cigarette. "Oh, God, there goes my four-year no-smoking streak." She blew a long silvery line of smoke out of her mouth. "Why didn't the queen's magic work? Why couldn't she take you?"

"I don't know. Maybe because Aeronwen was going to kill me, and my curse won't let me die until I've made reparations. I would've done anything to save Nimue from being in her hands again." Merlin rested his elbows on his knees and stretched his hand to the flames. "Balthasar, I'm not so sure about."

Rosa elbowed him. "We both made shitty mistakes that day. I'll do anything to get them back, Merlin. I'll kill the queen. I'll go to the very depths of Hell to get Balthasar by my side again."

"It could come to that," Merlin replied.

"We are in the Aos Si. I can believe anything right now." Rosa flicked the ash off her cigarette. "Do you think this is my price?"

"What do mean?" He had never heard her voice so small and vulnerable before.

"You once told me that using my magic would come at a price and that I wouldn't be able to choose when it was enacted. Balthasar being taken… It feels like a pretty hefty price to me."

Merlin stared at the fire, considering. "I don't know, Rosa. I believe we are paying the price for Eli never wanting the queen. The heart can be a selfish and petty thing. You are right about one thing… We don't know what kind of Eli we are going to get once we cross over. If the land recognizes him as the rightful king, he could have its very power running through him."

"Do you think he will choose to stay and be king?" She looked across at the tumble of black hair on the ground opposite her.

"I suppose that's something for him to decide. He may realize it's his place to stay for the good of his people. He would never have to be anything than what he is here." Merlin inhaled his cigarette and tried to articulate. "Nimue is the only other creature like me that I've ever met. Neither fae nor human. She's the only person I've ever felt truly understands what I feel and what I have been through. To have an entire country of that? I can't even imagine."

"But I need him. I need all of you," Rosa exclaimed in a tense whisper. "I'm tired of this. I don't want us to be separated anymore."

Merlin kissed the top of her head. "My sweet young girl, you can't hold everyone together by will alone, even a will as strong as yours. Time and circumstances will tear everyone from you. This is what it means to be immortal."

"If Bal dies, I don't think I will want to live forever." Rosa tossed the end of her cigarette into the fire. "I guess we'll find out." She kissed his cheek before climbing back into her bedroll. "Let me know if you see them in the fire."

As soon as Rosa fell asleep, a voice on the other side of Merlin said, "Why did you just lie to her?"

"Can a man not have a single moment alone?" Merlin complained.

Arthur rolled on his side and glared at him. "You didn't answer my question."

"She doesn't need to know of any plan that is half-baked. She needs absolutes because she doesn't need to worry about one thing more. I'm protecting her."

"You are over protecting her."

"She is my kin, and you have no say," Merlin snapped.

"Keep your voice down, you git, before you wake everyone else up," Arthur whispered. "Aye, she's your kin, and I also know she's a woman who appreciates honesty."

"She doesn't need to know what I've seen. She will see Balthasar soon enough and know the truth of it."

"And what of your other idea? Hmm? She won't let you go without her."

"She will have no choice but to sit it out."

"You're an even bigger fool than I remember if you think that you will stop her."

"You are meant to be on my side. Remind me again why we are friends?"

"What was it that Cai used to say? 'Arthur, you're the mad wizard's moral compass. Without you around, no one would be able to stop him from destroying the place every time he lost his temper'."

"You're my human shield, is that it? Goes to show you what that idiot knew. Go to sleep, my king. I have no need to lose my temper tonight."

"Merlin? Are you going to tell me what happened to you while I was sleeping?"

Merlin turned back to the flames, shame and fear and pain paralyzing him. "I will when we are somewhere safe. Go to sleep, Bear. My sad story can wait."

Arthur gave him a long look before nodding and rolling back over.

Finally alone, Merlin stretched his hands out to warm against the flames and used just enough magic to reach out for her… Nimue.

Merlin was dozing when the sound of Nimue's voice whispered across his skin like a kiss… Merlin . His golden eyes snapped open, searching for the source of it. There were creatures in the Aos Si who could trick a man with a lot less. Merlin stretched out his magic, and he felt her presence in his mind. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin .

He fixed on the feel of her, so faint that he could barely catch it to make a link to her. If you keep saying my name, you are going to wear it out, my love .

Amusement and relief flickered back to him, emotions easier to communicate than words.

Safe?

Yes, we are getting help, and then we are coming for you . Are you okay?

Yes. In the pit. Forgotten for now.

Balthasar?

Separated. Queen hid him so Court would not see. Afraid.

Traitors in the Court?

Discontent. Fear. Weak magic.

Good for us. Merlin could feel her magic fluttering. How she managed to get a message to him at all was a miracle. He couldn't make her keep it up without hurting her, and by all the gods, it was the one thing he couldn't handle. Instead of words, Merlin focused on sending her comfort and reassurance, wrapping her mind in as much love as his damaged heart was capable of.

My Merlin, don't keep me waiting so long this time, Nimue replied. The connection cut out, leaving him rattled and cold.

Merlin rebuilt the fire, anxiety crushing him and making his hands shake. He fought the urge to pick up his pack and head towards the Seelie Court. He was mad enough to dig them out by hand.

"Merlin," his father's voice broke the wave of anger surging in his mind. "What did you see?"

"I got a message from Nimue," Merlin replied, coaxing the flames to catch. "The queen doesn't have as many allies in the Court anymore."

"Clever girl," Bleddyn said, sitting down beside him. "And Balthasar?"

"The queen separated them and is keeping his presence hidden from her subjects. If they knew a Seren Du had been captured, Leiddiad himself, it could cause problems for the queen. She can't have someone that her enemies can rally behind," Merlin replied, and because he knew it wasn't what his father had truly asked, he added, "Nimue didn't know if he was hurt or not. You know he won't get away from the queen unscathed. Not after all the Seelie he's killed over the years."

"Balthasar isn't a fool. He'll get more information out of her than she will out of him. He's done it before and survived. He can do it again."

"He's never been held captive by the queen." Merlin hated that he couldn't give his father reassurances that his half-brother would be okay. He had seen and felt every scar on Nimue's beautiful body, and he had never been the kind to offer false hopes.

"You don't need to remind me of that. I haven't forgotten what it was like being Aeronwen's prisoner," Bleddyn said, his voice far away.

Merlin felt the shiver in his father's magical field and the wall that came up to trap it in.

"You won't be able to keep it locked inside much longer. It will need to connect to the land sooner or later," Merlin warned.

"We need to be in the Unseelie land first. I thought we would have reached it yesterday, but the borders kept moving."

"Perhaps, they are moving away from you because you aren't connecting with it, so it thinks you're hostile," Merlin said. "You know the magic running through this land is capable of it."

His father studied him, the muted green of his eyes changing to glow emerald. "You always were the cleverest man I ever met. If I let my shields down, the queen will feel it and drop Hell on us."

"Every Unseelie and the land of your birth will also feel it. The very air will rush to greet you. I know you have no intention of reclaiming your throne, but until you can formally pass it on, you are still connected to everyone and everything in your kingdom. Let it feel the authority and give them hope."

"If I have no intention of staying, it's a false hope," Bleddyn pointed out.

"It's not false if it drives them to fight back. It need not be forever, just long enough to see the task done and the Queen dead." Merlin poked the fire with a stick. "I had to shed my Eldon skin to be who I really am. It's time you did the same and stopped pretending you aren't a king."

The next day, Rosa found herself in the easy company of Arthur Pendragon. He had slowly moved his way from the front of the group with Eirianwen in the morning to finally take up the rear with Rosa.

I must look surlier than I feel , she thought. In truth, she didn't mind so much. She had a million things that she wanted to ask Arthur about, including all the embarrassing stories about her infamous cousin.

"When this adventure is over, I expect you and Merlin to show me this new world I have woken up in," Arthur said.

"Travel has become a lot easier since your time. I intend to do some exploring myself if Eli will allow it. He's somewhat…protective."

"Aye, he's always been a little that way. If this business with the queen is taken care of, I'm sure he'll happily shove both you and Merlin out the door just to have some peace and quiet."

Rosa smiled as she looked ahead of them at the two Seren Du men, tall and dark and talking softly together. "I doubt it. Eli is far too happy to have him home again."

"Well, you'll just have to find a way to convince him, or I'll have to. Gwaed Lyn is too small to hold two Wylts at once."

Rosa laughed and fidgeted with the hilt of Gaeaf Storom. "Can I ask how you are doing? I mean you woke up after the world has completely changed. Merlin had to use magic so we could understand each other because the language is different, clothes are different. Everyone you know is…gone. If I were you, I wouldn't be handling it so well."

Arthur seemed to consider her words carefully, his eyes turning to a stormy grey.

"There were only a handful of us still alive when I was wounded. Morgan had already killed my wife and child and many of my closest companions. In truth, the sleep was a blessing. My body wasn't the only thing that was broken. I had been fighting my entire life, and my heart, my spirit, just couldn't do it anymore. Grief and rage had destroyed me," he tried to explain. "In this new time, I can be something else other than a king. I'm not alone. Merlin, by some miracle, still lives, and my enemy is defeated." Arthur smiled at her then, and it was as if his whole being was illuminated by it.

Rosa couldn't help but smile back at him. "Was Merlin very different back then?"

Arthur laughed and said, "Not as much as you might think. Although he's more serious now. His soul has suffered, and it has deepened him. He can be a hard man to love some days, but he's loyal to a bloody fault."

"I've only known him a few months, and I know for a fact he's a dangerous, reckless pain in my ass."

"The most dangerous thing about Merlin is not his recklessness for his own life. It's the way he can convince you of a dream so strongly that it becomes your own. I'd follow him anywhere, and the prick knows it. He's keeping a good grip on his anger for the moment even if he's mad with worry."

"Are you sure? He seems way too calm to me."

"You've got to notice the signs. He's fixing to do something mighty dangerous. I can feel it in my bones."

"I'll make sure he doesn't try to make you do anything too stupid. If we live through this, I promise to take you traveling if you promise to tell me stories in return. He keeps telling me all the stories I know of you are lies he made up, but trying to get the truth of them out of Merlin is like drawing blood from a stone."

"I promise, my lady. They are stories worth telling." Arthur held out his wide, scarred hand, and Rosa shook it firmly. She was still holding it when she felt a strange pulse of magic.

Rosa drew her sword, the power in it humming up her arm, anticipating the fight. Seelie warriors appeared through the trees, dressed in leather and bronze, and charged the small group.

Rosa's smile was dark as she widened her stance. "Finally, I have something to kill."

"God, you're like Merlin," Arthur cursed.

Rosa met her attackers charge with the full force of her magic and training, her Unseelie blood singing as Gaeaf Storom cut down two Seelie before confronting another. She felt the prickle of magic again as an archer sent a bolt of golden light streaming toward them. Rosa ran, knocking Arthur aside. The bolt narrowly missed his head.

"Stay down, Outlander!" Rosa commanded. She drew up a magical shield in front of them. Her shoulder burned as another bolt hit them. The Seelie was summoning a third when Rosa plunged her hand into the earth, her power taking control of the tree beside her attacker. The Seelie screamed as branches whipped out and tore him apart.

Rosa didn't wait to see the carnage before turning to find Merlin. Eli and Eirianwen had done quick work of the ten Seelies that had ambushed them. Eirianwen was a rage of silver hair and long blades as she cut through them.

Merlin, sword drawn and bloody, hurried back down to where Arthur still lay obediently on the ground.

"Can you feel any more magic users?" Rosa asked, scanning the tree line, her magic still shielding Arthur.

"No. Eli dealt with one, and I got the other. The queen must have felt the trap being disabled yesterday," Merlin said. "Stay with Arthur."

"This lass doesn't need my protection," Arthur's brogue mumbled from the ground.

"But you need hers, so just wait," Merlin snapped, and he hurried through the trees behind them.

Send more, you red-haired harpy. I fucking dare you. Rosa's grip on her sword tightened. She burned for revenge, and the few warriors weren't enough to satisfy her.

"Rosa, put down your sword. It's over," Eli's voice cut through the roaring in her mind. "Calm down, little one. Your magic is spewing out everywhere. Easy." His emerald eyes locked with hers, and the buzzing calmed.

Rosa sheathed Gaeaf Storom as she began to shake. Eli took her hand, and the roaring in her head died away.

"There we go. Just breathe," he soothed. Rosa gagged but managed to keep her breakfast down.

"What…the…" she stammered.

"You forgot that magic is stronger here, especially when you use the sword. It will take some getting used to again," Eli explained.

"Seeing you use it makes me wish the queen had sent a few more," Eirianwen smiled. Rosa tried to hide her surprise at the unlooked-for compliment.

"Can I get up now?" Arthur asked uncertainly.

Rosa held out a hand and helped him to his feet. "Sorry for pushing you down so hard."

"You saved my ass, so I'll happily live with a few bruises. But Rosa, what is an Outlander?"

Rosa burst out laughing before she could hold it in.

"Oh, she can tell you the tale of the great warrior, Jamie Fraser," Merlin said as he rejoined them. "All right there, Rhosyn?"

"Peachy," she said, carefully keeping a hold of Eli's hand. "Find anything?"

"No, but I have a bad feeling, like slime on my skin. I can smell old corpses coming from over the next hill."

"I'll scout it. Stay here," Eirianwen said and started to walk away.

" We will go together," Eli interrupted and let go of Rosa's hand. The stabilizing effect on her magic vanished, and she wobbled, only just managing to stay upright.

"Nice bit of work on those trees," Merlin commented to Rosa with a raised eyebrow. Small pieces of Seelie still marked the winter branches.

"I got the idea from my cousin," she replied, and they shared a dark grin.

"Christ, help us, there's two of them," Arthur muttered. "No wonder I woke up. How will the world handle two magical Wylts?" They were still joking when Rosa felt an insistent tug.

"Eli wants us. They must have found something," she said.

"It's creepy how he can do that," Merlin muttered.

Merlin led them up the next hill and through the stripped trees beyond it. Eli and Eirianwen stood grim-faced while they waited for them.

"What is it?" Rosa asked Eli. Something swayed in the corner of her eye, knocking together in gruesome music. Bodies. There was a whole forest of them, stripped and hanging up in the trees, some with heads or limbs removed. All had been tortured with cuts and burns still visible in their rotting flesh. All of them were Unseelie, and they were missing their hearts.

"What kind of creature would do something like this?" Arthur asked, staring up at them in grim-faced horror.

"This wasn't a creature. It was the queen's men," Eirianwen spat. "They must have been suspected of being rebels. This is a warning to those who disobey."

Rosa looked back to Eli. He was vibrating with anger and rising power. Rosa took a step towards him before strong hands gripped her, and Merlin dragged her backward. He pulled her to the ground and covered her with his body as magic exploded through the trees. Sparkling midnight rolled out of Eli as the safeguards and shields of his true power finally shattered.

The corpses in the trees swayed as a storm of wind and black ravens filled the sky, landing and covering them with their iridescent wings. When they took to the air again, the bodies had disappeared.

Through a gap in Merlin's black hair, Rosa saw someone crouched on the forest floor, a long sword stretched out in his hand. Clothes hung about him in tatters, and pearlescent skin stretched tightly over strong muscles. Wild hair, the color of winter midnight, fell down his back and framed a face that was familiar and frightening. It was terrifying in its smooth perfect cheekbones and sharply pointed ears. The shape of his eyes had curved more distinctly and only the feeling in them hadn't changed. They were laden with the centuries of love and loss, grief and violence.

"Bleddyn?" Rosa whispered, unable to think of him as Eli any longer.

"No," Merlin said. "Something more."

Eirianwen was on her knees, her head bowed. "Seren Du."

Bleddyn stood up slowly. He was taller than Rosa had ever seen him, with strong muscles filling his new frame. He flexed his wide shoulders as shadows rolled down over his skin, and clothes wrapped around him. He wore a long jacket with a high collar, close cut black trousers and boots. The jacket was embroidered with silver and black stitching,—twisting patterns of stylized ravens and wolves and symbols that Rosa couldn't identify.

"You okay, Father?" Merlin asked uncertainly and slowly rolled off Rosa. Bleddyn's head tilted ever slightly in acknowledgement.

"Help Rosa up," he commanded before turning to Eirianwen. "Child of Morning and Midnight, you've never bowed to me before. I don't expect it of you now." He held out a hand and she took it, letting him help her to her feet.

"It pleases me to see you looking like your old self," Eirianwen said, and they shared their first smile since fate brought them back together.

"Would anyone mind telling me what in God's name is going on?" Arthur asked.

"Bleddyn is taking control of his birthright," Merlin said, leaning his arm on Arthur's shoulder. "Don't worry too much about it, lad."

Using the tip of Widow's Fury , Bleddyn drew a sigil into the forest floor. It glowed midnight blue, and heat crawled up Rosa's skin as heady magic coursed through the air.

"It's time I was home," he said and plunged the sword into the earth.

Rosa stumbled as the forest twisted around them. One moment, they were under a cloudy noon sun; the next, a night sky covered them.

"What the hell was that?" she gasped.

"He summoned the borders of the Unseelie land," Merlin explained. "He stopped running."