3. Marius

Marius finished his mead, the honey flavor pleasant—unlike his mood. Tahlia would arrive at any moment and he had yet to finalize the questions he wished to ask her. Of course, he wouldn’t sit here and read them aloud, but he needed to see them listed out before launching into conversation. If he didn’t have a plan, they’d wander into talking about riding and missions. He longed to know her more deeply than that. Lists tended to calm him, but this time, he was far, far away from a peaceful state of mind. His palms were sweating and he couldn’t stop fidgeting.

If you could change one thing in your past, what would you alter?

Do you long to travel when you’re on leave? If so, where and why?

…

Three was the problem.He’d written and rewritten it a dozen times and couldn’t get the wording right. He’d wanted to ask her about having younglings, but it was a question that could give him away. If he asked that directly, she would see how serious he was about her. He wasn’t certain she felt even close to the same way. Perhaps she’d only enjoyed their night together for the physical pleasure of it. Perhaps her heart wasn’t affected as his was. Perhaps she would reject his attempts to make her his mate.

“Oh, and what is the subject for tonight’s scarlet book of secrets?”

Tahlia’s voice sent a thrill through him, and he braced himself to look up and meet her gorgeous dark honey eyes. When he did, she smiled and set a hand on her hip. The feral side of him wanted to pick her up and throw her onto the table right here, right now. Why did she drive him so mad?

“What has the Shadow of the Shrouded Mountains running his hand through his hair and nibbling his quill like a raccoon?” she asked.

Tahlia leaned to peer at his list. He snatched up the little book and slipped it into the soft leather pocket of the simple vest he wore over his tunic. A part of him wished he could wear battle leathers all the time. He always felt too exposed in civilian clothing.

He gritted his teeth. “It’s nothing.” Damn. He’d practically growled at her. Taking a deep breath, he gestured to the seat across from him. “Please. Thank you for coming before the others.”

“I’m glad you asked me to,” she said. “Now, what did you want to chat about?”

Marius motioned to the passing server. “What would you like to drink?”

“Is the mead good?” she asked Marius.

He tapped his empty cup. “Very.”

“I’ll take one, please,” she said to the server.

The male nodded, his gaze sliding from her full lips to her breasts. “Anything else?”

“Just the drink,” Marius snapped viciously, a snarl following his words.

Tahlia and the server both stared at Marius, then the server inhaled, blinked, and scurried away like the rat he was.

“You didn’t have to scare the poor thing to death just for eyeing me up.”

“It’s not appropriate,” Marius said.

Tilting her head, she lifted her pert nose. She seemed to be peering down at him even though he was a few heads taller. “Because I’m a knight or because of some other reason?”

He fought a growl that tried to crawl up his throat. “I, well, both.”

“Both what?”

“Damn it, Tahlia.”

“Whoa.” She spread her hands. “What is happening?”

He shook himself. “I’m sorry. I’m just…”

“You’re nervous, aren’t you?” she asked.

“Stop looking like that pleases you so much.”

She acted at wiping the smile from her rosy mouth. “Sorry. I’ll try.”

He swallowed and looked at the grain of the table. “Let’s start over.”

“All right. Are you Marius now or High Captain?”

“Marius.”

She touched his hand briefly, then tucked her hands into her lap. Her smile was back and the beauty of it made his heart ache.

“You weren’t nervous about flirting with me in the arena,” she said.

Her cheeks flushed, but she didn’t seem concerned. His mind, however, was a storm. His thoughts whirled, the questions he’d planned and his plans to murder the server with the roving gaze tangled into a grand mess.

“What do you want?” he spat out, immediately irritated with himself for acting like a troll.

“Umm. You’ll have to give me some details about what you mean.”

Gods, she was laughing at him. Silently, but still. Her eyes said it all. “If you could change one thing about your past, what would you alter?”

Her bottom lip stuck out a fraction, and her eyes focused on the space above his head. “Oh, good question.” Her face cleared and she met his eyes. “Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Every rough experience I’ve been through has worked to make me the dragon rider I am today. I don’t regret the challenges. I would be a marshmallow without them. I know I would. I adore the pleasant things in life a little too much.”

Had he heard her correctly? “What is a marshmallow?”

“A square of fluff made from sap and honey and, well, it’s a piece of the dessert afterlife if there is such a place. But you must burn the marshmallow to a crisp. Only way to eat them,” she said.

“I feel like I’ve had ten meads rather than one. What are you talking about?”

Tahlia waved off his confusion like one does a cloud of gnats. “What I meant is that I am fine with my past as is. How about you?”

She must have had an easy life before coming to the mountain.

“I can tell from your expression that you think I’m naive. Let me assure you that I’m not. My family life growing up was not pretty. At all.”

Pain tightened the edges of her eyes and her hands had balled on the table. He wanted to cover her fingers with his and comfort her, but was that too much?

Needing something to do with his hands, he tapped his cup in a steady rhythm. “I do believe you’re right about difficulties in life, but I couldn’t give up the chance to have my sister back.”

Her open look said she was listening, patiently waiting for him to speak. His chest tightened and he cleared his throat.

“Pirates ravaged our home and killed her,” he said. “Bellona was her name. She is the reason I am here. She gave up her place at a healing arts academy to fund my training with the money we inherited when my parents died.”

“I’m so sorry you lost her. It’s all the more impressive that you managed to rise to the rank of captain after suffering that loss.”

“Thank you.” It hadn’t been difficult telling her about Bellona. Was the only difference that he was confiding in her instead of trying to pluck information from her? He had to laugh silently at himself. He had been treating her like someone he had to question for order business.

“What else do you want to learn about me?” she asked.

“I’ll stop questioning you. I didn’t intend for this to be some sort of strange interrogation. I’m just, well, I’m not the best at intimate relationships.”

She grinned. “No surprise there, big fella.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re not the cozy up-and-chat type.”

He wished he was.

“But I like you just how you are, Marius. So ask me whatever you had planned.”

His heart did a quick triple beat. “You knew I was mapping out our conversation?”

“I guessed.” She jerked her chin and eyed the vest pocket that held his notebook.

It was a relief that she was fine with the way he operated. “All right, then, little salty, where would you travel if you had free time to do so? Or are you more of the type who wants to read by the hearth at home?”

Her eyebrows lifted. “Salty?”

“There is a plant that thrives in the harsh, salt-dense soil of the flats outside my hometown. Its true name is the schrenkiella parvula, but we always call it salty. You enjoy flourishing in difficult scenarios, so the nickname fits in my mind.”

Tahlia laughed, and it was the loveliest sound in all the realms. “Fine. I’m salty, but if you’re going to nickname me, I get to do the same to you.”

“I already have too many ridiculous monikers,” he said.

“None from the one you are considering to be your mate.”

He stared.

“Don’t look so shocked. Why else would you be giving me a rundown like this? It’s so you. You like order. Control. You make weighed decisions. Never reckless. It only makes sense that you would want to find out more about me if you plan a repeat of our night together.”

“But it was only one night of passion.” How would she react to such a pointed statement?

“Oh, no, it wasn’t. I felt a connection with you and you felt it too.”

“How can you be so sure? We risk disturbing the order by considering one another as a potential mate.”

“You considered Ophelia. Is this only more of a problem because I’m half-human and new?”

“Yes. That’s exactly why.”

“Maybe tonight will help smooth things over? Do you think my whole unit will come?”

He nodded. “I do.”

“Because you asked them to,” she said, cocking her head to the side.

“Yes.”

“The order is lucky to have you,” she said. “Do you think you’ll be the next commander?”

“It would be arrogant for me to say yes.”

“But silly for you to say no, right? You have to be Gaius’s choice.”

“Commander Gaius,” he corrected. Gods, she had to start using the proper titles.

“I thought we were just Marius and Tahlia at the moment.”

He was torn between wanting to be casual and easy with her and teaching her the proper way for a Mist Knight to behave. “Still.”

She held out her hands. “Fine. Sorry. Commander Gaius’s choice.”

“He hasn’t said anything yet.”

“Do you want the position?” she asked.

He took a slow breath. “Yes, but I will be in the sky, unlike him. I would have to run the order in my way, not his. He knows that.”

She ran a fingertip from his elbow to his knuckles. His skin pebbled in the wake of her touch and heat poured through his veins.

“Are you certain we need to spend the evening with the other knights?” she asked. “Because I have some pretty solid ideas on what we could do instead.”

He chuckled, surprising himself. She made him feel lighter than anyone else. “Can you wait an hour?”

“I suppose.” Her smile was the brightest fire in the room.