Chapter 63

Chapter

Sixty-Three

ALYX

J oha stares at his people, all eyes on him. They look to him for answers, for leadership. Now is his time to become the king he always has been but they never saw.

Gone is the puppet king, and in his place is a true ruler. As my eyes rove across his face, I know it will be the last time I sit at his side like this. We are a farce after all, and he got what he needed. He’s safe now, Queen Mother cannot hurt him, and the truth is out. I don’t fit into his plans for the future anymore, and my heart clenches at that reminder. Grief fills me until I can barely breathe as he starts to speak, oblivious to my turmoil.

“Today has been shocking. I know you must all have questions, which I will answer in due time. For now, I believe it is best for everyone to return home. We have a traitor to deal with and investigations to conduct, but I promise I will protect this kingdom with everything I have. We will not be deceived ever again. In honour of my father and the duty I am sworn to, I vow this to you. We will survive, and we will flourish.” Standing once more, he looks at his subjects. “For now, allow us the privacy to grieve for what we have lost and the treachery that has been discovered.” He turns to me. “Shall we, my love?”

I swallow hard, bile crawling up my throat from the pain. My chest is so tight, it feels like I cannot breathe around it, the restriction making me lightheaded. My limbs are weak as I stare into his beautiful face, knowing he will never be mine again.

I’m happy he learned the truth, and I’m happy he’s safe, but part of me is sad this is over because now that the truth is out, I have no reason to stay.

He holds out his hand to me, tilting his head as I hesitate. His eyes search mine for answers I cannot give him. I knew how this would end, I just never expected it to hurt so much, but that’s my fault, not his. I should have kept my distance and not gotten romantically involved.

Standing, I lay my hand in his and force a smile. “Let’s,” I murmur.

Hand in hand, we leave the ballroom—a king and his fake bride.

Once we near the palaces, and I slip my hand from his. “I am tired,” I tell him, trying not to let sorrow enter my voice. “It’s been a hard few days’ ride and now this . . .”

“Of course.” He blushes in embarrassment. “Go rest. I will have some food sent to you. Everything else can wait until tomorrow.”

I incline my head, acting like the perfect bride for the guards and nobles who followed us. Keeping my head high, I start to walk towards the queen’s palace before I hesitate and then backtrack. Uncaring about the eyes on us, I reach up and kiss him softly.

It’s a goodbye, our final kiss, although he does not know it yet.

Before he can question me, I turn and flee, unable to look at him because if I do, I might ask him to let me stay, but I can’t. I refuse to let the tears fall, even as they burn my eyes.

It’s over. Our deal is done, which means one thing.

It’s time for me to leave.

There is no point in delaying it. I will leave tonight. I’m all ready when my doors suddenly burst open, making me whirl. Joha kicks the doors shut on the shocked guards’ faces and stomps over to me, not stopping until we are almost pressed together.

As I stare into Joha’s eyes, grief fills me for what I am about to lose. He does not need me anymore. I have outlived my purpose, so this is over. I was hoping to leave quietly, but I should have known he would ruin my plans.

Joha is no fool, he must have sensed something was wrong, but there are some things not even a king can fix. I might be good at pretending, but he cannot make me a true lady like he needs, and I cannot ruin his future with the truth of what I am getting out of this and who I am.

I made my choice. I knew what I was doing when I agreed to this, but it’s so hard.

“Joha.” I trail off, unsure what I was going to say in the wake of the anger in his gaze.

He glances at my packed bags, his nostrils flaring for a moment. “No. You are not leaving. I knew something was wrong earlier.”

“My job here is done, Joha. It is time for me to go home. We both knew this would end eventually. You are a king, and I am an assassin. There is no future for us.” I wish my voice were stronger and full of conviction, yet I just sound exhausted from what happened.

“No.” That single word is a hard order. He looks around the room as if searching for more words, and I step closer, pressing my hands to his face. I memorise his handsome features, knowing this is the closest I will ever be to the king. He has a kingdom to run, and I have lives to claim, yet here, in this moment, I wish I could stay with him, but we are too different. He has a future, a destiny, a purpose—one I was never supposed to be a part of.

“We knew this was coming,” I murmur, and I cover his lips as he begins to protest. “I’ll admit I never expected to come to care for you.” I cannot bring myself to say love or I might lose my nerve and stay. “But it changes nothing. I don’t belong here, and staying will only hurt you in the long run. This was always the plan.”

“No,” he mumbles, shaking his head and tugging my hands away. “Stay, Alyx, please.”

I hate the plea in his voice. Turning away, I grab my bag, but when I look back, he drops to his knees, a place I have never seen Joha. His head is tilted back, and tears swim in his eyes. “I will beg you if I have to. Take my dignity, take anything you want, just stay with me.”

“I can’t,” I croak as I reach down and tug him to his feet. “Never kneel for anyone, not even me.”

I don’t deserve it.

Before I can chicken out, I hoist my bag higher and push past him, heading to the door and away from the man I love. My heart breaks with each step until the shattered pieces lie between us like a tether we can never break.

He calls out, stopping me at the door. “Revenge.” I hear his feet on the floor as he crosses it, not stopping until his warmth is pressed to my back. “I promised you revenge and answers in return. I intend to keep my promise, and to do that, you must stay here.”

We both know it’s an excuse, yet I turn around, my back pressed against the wood, a soft smirk tilting my lips. “I have to stay here to get my part of the deal?”

“Yes, unless you are going back on your word?” he counters desperately.

My lips twitch. “Never, you know an assassin’s word is law.” That is exactly why he’s using it against me. “Which you knew. Are you using this as an excuse to keep me close, my king?” I tease.

Grinning, he presses against me, tilting his head down and blocking all the light until all I see is him. His lips brush kisses over mine as he speaks. “Yes, just like you were hoping I would, which is why you let me catch you leaving. You’re the best assassin in this kingdom, Alyx. You could have disappeared without me ever knowing, but you wanted me to. You were hoping I would stop you, weren’t you?”

Swallowing, I search his gaze. “Maybe.” It’s the only weakness I admit to, but Joha has no issue being weak for me and bridging that gap.

“I love you, Alyx. If I have to use this to keep you with me, then I will, and when that is done, I will find something else. I am never letting you go.”

“If they find out what I am, they will?—”

“I do not care,” he interrupts, his voice harsh. “Let them make demands. I have given them everything, but they do not get to take you from me.” He cups my face, and I lean into his hands, greedy for his every touch. Maybe I should worry about how deeply I feel for him, Orion, and Crux, but as I look into his eyes, I cannot seem to care. “Say you will stay.” His lips ghost over mine, cajoling me. “Stay.”

It hurts as much as it heals me because I know this will not end well.

This time, my tears do fall, and Joha kisses them away. “You do not get to leave me, Alyx. I cannot do this without you. They can have my mind, my body, and my future, but you have my heart, and I cannot live without it or you.”

“You are a fool,” I murmur, my voice thick.

“For you? Absolutely.” He grins, kissing each of my eyelids before pressing a soft kiss to my lips. I don’t react at first, torn between what I need to do and what I want to do. “Stay with me. Stay with your fool,” he pleads, kissing me between each word.

I kiss him back, tears sliding down my face. The saltiness mixes as our tongues tangle in a languid, loving kiss. His hands tighten on my cheeks as he presses me against the door.

I grip his shirt, pulling him closer before we break apart. His desire-filled eyes freeze me in place as his hands slide down my shoulders, across my sides, and around me. I gasp as he yanks me up, lifting me into the air. He doesn’t look away and neither do I as he spins and walks us across the room and lays me on my bed, crawling up my body, his lips meeting mine in a hungry, promising kiss.

My hands slide greedily down his back until they meet the strip of his exposed skin at the base of his spine where his shirt has risen, and I explore the muscles on his back as we kiss. He pushes up, pulling his mouth from mine.

“I’m going to remind you why you belong here, and I’m going to keep reminding you how much I love you until the day you believe it. You were always supposed to be mine, Alyx, just accept it.”

Never one to be outdone, I wrap my legs around his waist and spin us, pinning him down on the bed. My hands grab his and hold them above his head as he grins up at me. “More like you belong to me, my king.”

“Prove it,” he says, twining his fingers with mine as he lies back.

Arching a brow, I lean down and bite the edge of the tie on his shirt, and then I tug it down, watching it unravel. The material parts, exposing more of his tanned, muscular chest for my greedy eyes. I lean down and place a kiss at the base of his throat, feeling him swallow against me as I move farther down and do the same.

Sliding my lips across his collarbone, I nip the skin there as he groans. I watch his eyes slide shut, his lips parting as he arches into my touch. “If they could see their perfect king now, on his back and begging for me to touch him, what would they think?”

“That I’m a lucky bastard.” His eyes open and clash with mine.

Releasing his hands, I slide farther down, taking his shirt with me, and then I flick open a dagger from my side and cut it away. The material falls to my bed as I run my lips across his chest, licking and sucking his nipples. When he groans, I slide lower, kissing along his impressive abs and over his hips as I unlace his trousers. I push them down his thighs so he’s naked for me. His cock is hard with precum leaking from the tip, and when I lean down and blow a warm breath across him, his length jerks for me as he moans.

“Alyx.”

Keeping him trapped in my gaze, I lean down and dart my tongue out, dragging it along his tip and tasting his desire as he watches me.

I taunt him, observing his every reaction. His hands fist the sheets above him, and his torso stretches as he lifts his hips for more. It’s a fucking perfect sight.

Gripping his cock, I slide my tongue down the veiny side, tasting him as I torture him. I suck the tip as he gasps, lifting his hips off the bed as he tries to bury himself in my mouth. Chuckling, I pull back, waiting for him to slump, then I suck him again, pushing him to see how much it takes for him to break. I ignore my own desire and slick thighs as I suck on and nibble his cock until he cries out. My nipples harden, pebbling in my shirt as red-hot desire races through me. The most powerful man in the kingdom is letting me control him. It’s a heady thought, leaving me wet and wanting until he finally snaps.

Jerking up, he throws me down next to him, pressing me face down into the soft bedding. His hands grip my trousers and he yanks them down, quickly stripping me until I lie naked below him. He forces my thighs open with his hand and cups my pussy, making me groan. “You like teasing me. You like playing with me. I can feel you dripping against my hand.”

“What do you plan to do about it?” I ask, grinding into his hand as I widen my thighs to give him better access.

“I would tease you back,” he murmurs as he leans down, biting the soft flesh of my ass. I yelp, even as the sharp pain fades into pleasure. “But I need you too much.”

His fingers slide through my desire, then his thick digits thrust inside me as I cry out. It’s my turn to grip the bedding as he fucks me with his fingers, curling them so I see stars behind my closed eyes. I push back for more as he bites and kisses along my ass and then lower. He licks around where his fingers spear me before his lips cover my clit, sucking and kissing. Joha adds a third finger, stretching me deliciously, and I rock into his touch, gripping the bedding as I give myself over to him.

“You taste like heaven, better than the most expensive wine. You taste like perfection and all mine,” he whispers against my pussy, making me groan, and he lashes my clit with that silver tongue until I reach for my release, trembling below him.

“Come for me. Come for your king,” he orders.

I come apart with a muffled scream, clenching on his fingers as pleasure racks my body, leaving my legs shaking. He fucks me through it, and when I slump, he pulls back and I roll. My eyes land on him as I pant. Smirking, he lowers his hand, glistening with my cum, and strokes his cock as he watches me.

I glance from his cock to his eyes, growing annoyed. “Well, are you going to fuck me, or do I need to show you—” I scream as he grabs my thighs, yanks me down the bed, and impales me on his length.

He throws my legs over his shoulders as he kneels, my pussy clenching around his invading length. His smirk makes me all that much hotter as he watches me. He pulls from my clinging body then slams back inside me, making me arch up as I cry out. Our eyes clash as he fucks me, setting a hard pace.

Cupping my breasts, I tweak my nipples harshly as he hammers into me.

“That’s it. Let me see you get yourself off on me. Let me watch you heighten your own pleasure.” His jaw grinds and his eyes tighten with his desire. I watch his abs roll with each thrust, his muscular arms holding me.

“Joha.” I slide my hand down my body as he watches and part my fingers around his cock as he slams into me, letting him slip through my hand with each thrust.

Groaning, he falls down over me as our lips meet, our hips rolling in a familiar rhythm. “Say my name again,” he begs against my lips. “You’re the only one who says it like that.”

“Joha,” I cry out, and he snarls, his lips meeting mine in a hard, fast kiss as my nails dig into his back as we both reach for that high.

I want this to last forever, but nothing ever does, and as our tongues tangle, he fills me with his cock, sending me over the edge with a cry. Moaning into my mouth, he follows me over that cliff, filling me with his pleasure. Our lips meet clumsily, slowing until we break apart. He presses his sweaty forehead to mine, our eyes locked as we pant. “I love you, Alyx.”

I grip him tighter, hoping we can stay like this for as long as possible.

In the privacy of the palace, I let myself admit why it hurts so much. “I love you too.”