Chapter 53

Chapter

Fifty-Three

CRUX

A s I move through the city that I know like the back of my hand, my dark cloak flares out behind me as I run. No one bothers me—not the brutes in the Lowers, nor the guards in the Uppers. They take one look at me and see their deaths reflected back at them. An aura of danger seeps from me, warning everyone away from me. Even the very shadows themselves seem to move, making room for me to pass.

I do not hide, not tonight. There is not enough time to skulk in the darkness, not when Alyx is dying. No one will admit it or say the words aloud, but I have seen enough death in my time to recognise when the reaper comes knocking.

As soon as I parted with the king and Orion, leaving the reason for my existence in their care, I tracked down one of my little rats, giving him a message. He scurried away, spreading the word to the other rats in my employment, ensuring the whole city knows who I’m looking for—Master Yiel.

In addition to my network of little rats, I called in every favour I am owed. Money is one way to pay for my services, but for some, I demand a future favour as payment.

Of these, most of them are regular townsfolk who needed protection and couldn’t afford to part with their coin. However, many of those who owe me a favour are from the Uppers—lords who have gotten into trouble after one too many drinks and needed assistance. Often, blackmail is a strong motivator for hiring my services. When the noblemen are caught doing something they shouldn’t, that person will then blackmail them. That’s where I come in, making sure there are no loose lips.

Other than this, I have links with some of the other criminal groups in the city. They are nowhere near as large and organised as my assassins, but they have sway all the same. While I try to keep separate from them, I acknowledge that I need all the help I can get.

Wherever Master Yiel is, I will find him. Half the city is now looking for him, and I know it will not be long until he’s tracked down. I will take him to heal Alyx, and she will be fine. I have to believe that because if I do not, then my reason for living is gone. If she dies, then so does everyone else in this kingdom, innocent or not. Even just the thought of Alyx not surviving fills me with horror and rage, making me want to tear the palace apart brick by brick and find out who was behind the attack. I try not to think about that though, as blinding rage could cause me to make a mistake, and Alyx can’t afford for me to make a mistake right now.

While the city searches, I have been focusing on another task.

The bag thrown over my shoulder is full of every herb, potion, and antidote I can find. Apothecaries, hospitals, healers’ homes, market stalls, herbalists, you name it, I am raiding their supplies. There has to be something in this city that can help Alyx. I don’t stop to ask for permission, simply helping myself, and the few people who stumble upon me raiding their cupboards leave me in peace as soon as they see my face.

They will all be compensated at a later date. Right now, Alyx is my top priority—no, my only priority.

I’m filled with a deadly calm, my purpose clear—get the potions, find the healer, and fix Alyx.

The first part is complete, the gentle clink of glass vials knocking together as I hurry through the city. Now I need to get to the dock and see if I can help find this master.

“My king,” a small, hissing voice calls.

Stopping, I glance over my shoulder and find one of my rats hovering in the mouth of an alleyway. He looks anxious, his eyes shifting around as though he’s expecting to be hurt. This might make some worry, thinking the behaviour is because he has bad news to share. I don’t bother to assume, knowing my little rats always cower before me.

“Tell me,” I demand, knowing he must have news. They would not dare to disturb me otherwise.

“We found the healer at the docks.”

A weight lifts from my shoulders, and a wave of relief so strong washes over me that I almost sag and shout my thanks to whatever gods are watching. I don’t let him see any of this though. Never show any weakness—that is rule number one in surviving in this shithole.

Keeping my shoulders back and head high, I give him a curt nod. “Good. Secure him and get him to the palace.”

The rat scampers off, disappearing into the darkness faster than the eye can see. It’s only as I stand in that deserted street, knowing we now have a healer who can fix my love, that I can admit to myself just how terrified I have been at the thought of losing her. Anger is a good mask for hiding emotions, but it seems that mask was so good that it even fooled me.

Releasing a long, shaky breath, I turn in the opposite direction of the docks and look up the street towards the palace.

I’m coming, Alyx. Hold on, my love.

The next several hours are torturous. The king, Orion, and I observe as Master Yiel attempts to heal my girl.

We all watch in complete silence while the healer does his work. I might have little healing experience, but even I can tell the expert is struggling, working his knowledge of poisons to the extreme.

When I arrived back at the palace, Alyx looked grey, all the colour drained from her skin. I had not been gone long, so I knew we were almost out of time. Thankfully, Master Yiel was delivered shortly after, carried over one of my rat’s shoulders and dumped at our feet, swearing and scared. All it took was one look at our faces for him to pale and get to work without another complaint about being kidnapped.

Sighing, the master sits back on his heels and begins to put everything away. “It was touch and go. She had almost run out of time,” he explains, his voice loud after such a long time without any other sounds. “If you had not found me when you did, then she would be dead by now.”

His flat, matter-of-fact words hit me in the gut, making me realise just how close we were to losing her. Standing, he brushes down the front of his dark blue robes. His long black hair is pulled back into a sleek bun, but several strands broke free during such a long healing.

Turning from Alyx, he faces the three of us, his neutral expression going tight for a moment as he clasps his hands in front of him.

“Your other healers don’t believe in using certain techniques and potions, especially if there is an unknown substance affecting the patient.” Disapproval rings in his voice. “I do not have those qualms. If the patient is going to die without treatment, then using something that might save them seems like the most logical course of action to me.”

“She’s going to survive?” Joha asks with disbelief.

The healer looks at the king and dips his head. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

My eyes squeeze tightly shut as pure and utter relief fills me. I knew she would survive, she had to, but hearing those words from the healer’s mouth . . .

If the worst had happened, then I do not think I could have controlled myself. I would have stalked through the city and made others hurt like I was, killing Queen Mother and everyone associated with her. The only reason I have any sense of restraint is because of Alyx. She is the better half of me and my very reason for living. All of this is pointless without her. If she’d died, I would have taken my revenge, and then I would have ended my pitiful existence and hoped that we could be together in the afterlife.

“Why is she so still?” Orion’s deep voice snaps me out of my morose thoughts. It’s the first thing I’ve heard him say in hours, his gaze locked on the limp body of the woman we love.

“I gave her a sedative,” Master Yiel explains patiently. “Her body needs to rest so it can heal from the infection and let the herbs work.”

It turns out that my little raiding party in the city for anything that might help the healer was actually fruitful. There was a type of dried grass I found in one of the apothecaries I raided. I had no idea what it was, but I took it anyway, just in case. It turns out that I was right to take it, as it helped save her. Since we had no idea what poison was used, we could not use an antidote, but this herb was some type of rare seagrass from another kingdom with the ability to draw out poisons from the body. This way, we didn’t need to know the specifics of the poison, as the seagrass absorbed it like a sponge. Once that was removed and burnt in the fireplace, Master Yiel worked on the infection itself, cleaning and packing the wound.

“It will need to be stitched once the infection has cleared,” he continues, his gaze flitting between the three of us, obviously unsure whom to give his instructions to. “Rest and hydration are the most important things here. She came close to death, and her recovery will reflect that.”

Joha steps forward and takes the healer’s hand, kissing the back of it in a display of gratitude. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

The master is clearly surprised by the gesture and awkwardly pats the king on his shoulder. “You are welcome, my king. I am glad to care for your betrothed. It is not as though I had a choice though.” His eyes slide to mine, his tone shifting as his face twists slightly.

I am not sorry in the slightest, but I allow a slightly manic grin to pull at my lips. He looks mildly disturbed, but to his credit, he does not look away.

“Next time, just ask me. You don’t need to tie me up like a hog.” Shaking his head, he takes a deep breath and glances at the clock on the wall. “I must go. My ship will be leaving soon.”

“Of course. Let me escort you to the guard house, and I shall arrange for a carriage to take you to the harbour.” Orion immediately jumps into action, the large man needing something to do. It must have been difficult for him to be left behind when I went into the city to look for the healer.

As soon as he leaves with the master, I take the seat placed near the top of the bed, slipping Alyx’s cold hand into mine.

“She almost died saving my life,” Joha comments quietly, taking a seat on the other side of the bed.

“I know.” My response is curt. I do not have the energy for niceties, though I suppose I never did.

Do I blame Joha for her getting attacked? I’m not sure. My mind is a mess. If he hadn’t hired her, then she never would have gotten involved. Because of that, I want to throttle him. She’s put in even more danger by being with the king.

However, she’s an assassin and in control of every job she takes on. It’s dangerous work, and we know the risks of dying every time we leave the base—not to mention, she would kick my ass if she found out I killed the king because she got hurt.

So, no, I don’t blame him specifically. That does not mean I am happy with him or want to become best friends though. I won’t kill him, and that is the best I can offer him at the moment.

Joha has been quiet, sensing my animosity towards him right now. He seems to have a point to prove, though, because he clears his throat and leans forward. “I love her, you know.”

“I know,” I reply, seemingly unable to force any other words through my clenched teeth. Her brush with death seems to have brought a sense of clarity to the king, who has been dancing around how he feels, much like the brutish guard who does not seem to even notice how he cares for her.

“We all do,” Orion grumbles as he strides back into the room, his face set in a frown. Maybe I was wrong. It’s about time he realised it because those two have been clashing heads more than her and I do. “The healer is with some of my trusted guards, so they will see he’s returned safely.”

Joha nods and returns his attention to me. “Thank you for finding him.”

He’s making it difficult for me to keep my newly made promise to myself not to kill him when he keeps talking to me. All I want to do is sit in silence and watch my girl.

“Do I want to know how you found him so fast?” The corner of his mouth twitches, and I realise he’s doing it on purpose. Is he trying to rile me up to get a rise out of me, or does he find something about the question funny?

I’m about to snap at him, but I understand what he’s doing when I notice the fear in his eyes. He’s terrified. This is his attempt to calm himself and deal with what almost happened. While I need physical contact with Alyx and silence, he needs to air his concerns.

Pushing my annoyance to the side, I think about his question and chuckle darkly. “No.” I grin with my reply, meaning it. He might think the healer was joking when he mentioned he was tied up like a hog, but he wasn’t far off. I needed to make sure Master Yiel came to the palace, and the easiest way to do that was to make sure there was no way he could refuse.

Some might call it kidnapping, but I call it saving Alyx’s life.

“Usually, I would protest,” Orion grumbles from where he’s leaning against the wall. “But the less I know about this, the better. She was saved because of your actions.”

“She has us all wrapped around her little finger.” Joha chuckles, and it’s not really funny, but both Orion and I crack a smile.

“That’s my girl,” I mutter, shaking my head as I watch her unmoving form. “She’s had control over my heart since the day I met her.”

“Tonight showed me how easily she could have been taken from us, so I am not going to deny my feelings for her any longer despite my misgivings.” Orion’s declaration changes something about the atmosphere in the room. This is more than just discussing our feelings. He’s making his intentions clear, and he is not going to step back. “She has my heart,” he continues, “and she will for as long as she wants it.”

I hate hearing this, and I’m a jealous man, but I can’t deny him this right. My girl is hypnotic and has caught all of us in her snare.

Joha clears his throat and looks between us. “You both know I’ve been obsessed with her for months. I will not lose her.”

Another declaration, a line drawn in the sand, and something we are all going to have to decide how to deal with.

“So what do we do?” Orion asks with a heavy sigh, looking to me for answers.

I am secretly glad they do not ask me whether or not I would be willing to step back and allow Alyx to be with one of them, as I do not think I could control my behaviour. Alyx is mine, and I will never give her up, so there is no point in even trying to deny me.

“She cares for all of us, that much is clear.” I look at her as I speak, her face still the most beautiful I have ever seen, even when she looks so pale. It’s our turn to care for her now.

There is only one way I can see us all getting what we need and Alyx being able to see us without the restraints of a relationship. I have seen her confusion and flashes of guilt she feels over the situation. She loves us all, perhaps in different ways, but I have seen the look in her eye on several occasions now.

“None of us are going to step back and risk losing her, so we’ll let her choose. We’ll let her decide if she wants one or all of us,” I begin, wishing I had a better way of explaining myself. “Forcing her to choose is only going to hurt her. She has experienced enough pain in her life without us adding to it.”

Orion sputters at the idea of Alyx being with all of us, but I continue as though I didn’t hear him. The king is watching me intently.

“Sharing is not in my nature, I am possessive and jealous, but if this is the only way I can be in Alyx’s life, then so be it. We don’t push the issue. This is her life, her heart, so she gets to decide,” I explain, although there is no room in my words for their hesitation or stipulation.

We all need to agree or this will not work, and I will not allow her to get hurt because of it. I will not lose her over my own petty jealousy, so if this is what she needs, then I will give it to her.

“Are we in agreement?” I look from Joha to Orion, taking in their expressions. As I expected, the guard is frowning, but he wears a thoughtful expression rather than one of disagreement. The king is leaning back in his chair, resting his chin on his hand as he considers everything I just said, and I see his mind turning.

He comes to an answer faster than I expected though, sitting forward and meeting my eyes. “We will have to discuss how it would work with her being my betrothed, but essentially, if that is what she wants, then I agree.”

The man is right. We will have to be careful with our affections when in public, as I cannot imagine the nobility approving of the king sharing a lover with anyone else, especially not a guard and an assassin. This could work though.

I turn to Orion, expecting to have to convince him that this is the best option, but he surprises me. Huffing a sigh, he looks to me then his king, and then he finally lays his gaze on Alyx.

“I do not believe she will not pick me. However, if she chooses, then I am hers.” Something in his face changes as he watches the woman he loves, his expression softening.

That decided, I nod to myself and fall back into a state of silence, ignoring the other two and allowing Alyx to become my entire focus.

Now I just have to wait for her to wake up.