Chapter 47

Chapter

Forty-Seven

JOHA

I wish I could say I know exactly what is going on in my court, but I would be wrong. Alyx has disappeared, Orion looks troubled, and there are more deaths. The bodies are practically piling up around me, and I have no idea who is friend or foe. I am living with a target on my back, and the worst part is, I do not know who I can trust.

It leaves me exhausted, and that night, I find myself sneaking into Alyx’s rooms again, needing her reassurance. She is the only one who understands. We might have different opinions on how she handles things, but I know she’s doing everything to keep me alive and safe. Plus, there is something almost comforting about her presence, which is ironic since she is an assassin.

She’s lying on her bed and doesn’t even look over as I enter. Heading her way, I gracefully flop down next to her, my eyes on the ceiling. “Where have you been all day?” I ask. The last time I saw her, she kissed me, changing my entire world, and then she protected me from Crux and I left. I feel confused and slightly irate. I thought we had something special, I thought there was a bond between us, but maybe I am just overthinking things.

There is no way a person like Alyx could want a person like me, not to mention all the troubles that come along with my station.

Her head turns, her eyes tired and sad. That one look breaks my heart, and I want to vow to tear down the entire kingdom to see her smile again. “What happened? Tell me who upset you and I will have their heads.”

Her small, crooked smirk makes my heart pound. “Would you?”

“I am king. I might not always act like it, but to defend you, yes, I would have their heads,” I admit shamelessly. No, Alyx might not need or want me the way I want her, but it doesn’t matter. I am in too deep to care, especially when she reaches for my hand. That one innocent touch consumes my entire being.

“Sweet, but I can take my own heads if I need to.” Sighing, she moves closer, looking back to the ceiling. “I was with Crux. We had a lead.”

“Oakenstram?” I ask, needing to know.

“Yes,” she says without a hint of reproach or sadness. Taking a life is easy for her, and it always surprises me, but it shouldn’t. When her head turns, however, her eyes betray her cool words. They look haunted. “He had to die. The lord was working with her to kill you. I let his family live, and hopefully, they will choose better in the future, but it was one of the single hardest deaths I have ever faced. I knew him, Joha, from my past. I knew the lord. He was kind to me, but I did what I had to.”

Swallowing hard, I search her eyes, seeing the truth there.

How could I ever doubt her feelings for me? This might have started as a bargain, but Alyx has made it clear she would kill and die for me. We both might not be willing to admit why, but I was wrong. This thing between us is real, and despite our differences, I want it to work.

I want Alyx to be my queen, but I will settle for anything as long as it keeps her at my side.

“I am sorry,” I tell her, squeezing her hand. “Thank you for protecting me.”

She just hums, her eyes roving over my face as if searching for something. I feel almost shy under her gaze before the rest of her words click into place.

“Wait . . . her?” I ask. “You have found out who is behind it?”

She doesn’t deny it. Instead, she turns her head, another soft, tired sigh escaping her.

“Alyx, please tell me. I am losing it here. Everywhere I turn, I’m looking for threats. I cannot even bear to let those I trusted close. I feel like I am going insane. I need to know.”

“Knowing will not help. I wanted to wait until I was sure.” She glances back at me. “Despite everything, it will hurt you, and I’m reluctant to hurt you.”

“Please, I will beg if I have to.” It isn’t something I have ever done as king, but I will for her.

“Are you sure you can handle the truth, Joha? There is no going back once I speak it,” she asks carefully.

“It will not change just because I know it. I want to know. I need to know,” I plead.

“Queen Mother.” She lets that sink in, and something inside me shatters slightly. “I know you don’t like it, but I also know how that must sting. I cannot offer proof. I spent all day tailing her, but she is good. She plays too well, but I know it’s her, trust me. She is the one behind all the attacks on you. Your stepmother is trying to kill you and take your throne.”

It doesn’t surprise me, which is the worst bit. I let my eyes shut for a moment before opening them and looking into the eyes of a person I do trust. “I trust you.” I nod. “Even without proof. I guess, deep down, I always wondered . . .” Grinding my jaw, I laugh bitterly. “I even once suspected her of killing my father, though we could never prove it, and everyone convinced me I was simply grieving over his sudden death. I chose to believe them for the kingdom, for the throne, and for the last remaining shred of my family, but she was never my family. She was always a snake.” It hurts that she hates me so much, but if what Alyx said is true, then she definitely killed my father and did it all for the power.

I cannot let naivety or emotions stop me this time. If she killed him, then she would kill me, and I will not be a fool like my father. I will not be blinded by love and obligation.

“She always wanted power. So now that we know who’s behind it, what do we do?” I ask her, needing her to guide me.

She watches me before leaning over and kissing me softly. “I am sorry, Joha. I truly am.”

I nod and lean into her hand as she cups my cheek, letting the warmth remind me that I might have been betrayed, but she is here with me.

“We cannot outright kill Queen Mother, no matter what proof we have, and I suspect she has hidden her trail well. If what you said about your father is true, then she is good at getting away with it. No, we cannot best her that way. Instead, we need to beat her at her own game. We have the advantage now because she has nothing to hide behind. We know who she is.”

Nodding, I let her comfort me. “Then we’ll do this together. We’ll stop Queen Mother for everyone she has killed on her way to the throne.”

Power corrupts, and sometimes I worry it will change me, but as I stare into Alyx’s eyes, I know she would never let that happen. She will ground me, but when this is all over and she’s gone . . .

How will I go on without the woman who is quickly becoming my entire world?