Chapter 43

Chapter

Forty-Three

ALYX

A midst all the drama with the recent assassination attempt and the death of the so-called criminal “behind it,” we all seem to have forgotten about the impending holiday—Laurel’s Day. It’s an annual occurrence to welcome in the laurel crop, the flowers that are said to have saved many from the great wars after apothecaries and medics realised grinding them up produced a life-saving medicine. Ever since, they have become something to celebrate, and we use it as an excuse to get drunk, run rowdy, and basically do whatever we please for the day. Usually, I’m in the Lowers. Even assassins take Laurel’s Day off, and I usually spend time with Crux drinking and playing games, but it seems this year will be very different. As Joha’s future bride, I have duties and many stuffy celebrations and honours to attend.

I have been on edge, worried for Joha’s life as well as for Crux, who still hasn’t returned, and concerned about how Orion and Joha will treat me today after the bombshell I dropped last night.

They looked shocked, and then they demanded answers. They asked so many questions my head hurt, but I closed up, panic taking my voice at their insistent quizzing. I trust them or I wouldn’t have told the truth about my birth, but I cannot bring myself to tell them everything because I know it will change things between us, especially Joha.

No, I’ll keep it to myself, even if I know they will be eyeing me with those same questions.

However, once my maids have finished with my elaborate dress, since we are to be in the public eye, I sneak many blades onto my body just in case before checking myself over in the mirror to make sure none show. It’s only then I truly take in what they have put me in. Although intricate, it is not over the top, and it’s actually very beautiful.

The floor-length gown fans out at the back, creating a train. The deep V-neckline, although showing skin, is obscured by real laurel flowers spread across my chest, their pink petals contrasting with the cream colour of the fabric. More flowers are woven into the gown, draping over my sides and hips, looking like a waterfall. My hair is tied up under a headdress made of laurels. I almost look like a flower fairy from childhood stories. My makeup is soft and pink to match the flowers, and even I can admit that I look beautiful and very regal.

“My lady, are you ready?”

I nod as I turn away from the mirror and take their hands to help me through the threshold. Once outside of my palace, we are met with a congregation of scholars, council members, and staff. My eyes widen as I take in the parade of people. The council is spread across huge palanquins, boredom in their eyes as they wait. Queen Mother is at the back, and although I cannot see her, I assume she is not happy about that.

A palanquin awaits me at the bottom step, the side open with Joha standing before it and Orion at his side. I stop at the top of the steps as I look him over. He’s not looking my way yet, and it gives me a chance to analyse him or, if I’m being honest, check him out. He is in a cream robe as well, decorated with laurels like my dress so we match, but unlike me, he has his crown on, and I know he did that to remind them who he is. He is regal and tall, his hair unbound. He looks perfect and untouchable. When his eyes find mine, though, I see worry and anger in his gaze. I nod slightly to let him know I am here and that he is safe, and my eyes find Orion as a reminder that he wouldn’t let anything happen to the king as well. He’s currently scanning the gathered crowd, no doubt hating that today must happen, especially after yesterday.

It is not often I see Orion in his full, decorative armour, and I gaze at him far longer than is appropriate. It glistens brightly in the sun, the silver catching the light, and the ornate royal crest is proudly displayed across his chest. His beard is trimmed and styled, and his shaved head shines like his armour.

“My lady?” Blushing slightly since I have just been caught staring, I descend the walkway. Joha takes my hand, kissing the back of it, his eyes twinkling as he plays the part.

“My love, you look more stunning than the first blossom of the year,” he murmurs. “I cannot wait for the city to see your beauty.”

“You are too kind, my king.” I grin, fluttering my lashes and acting lovesick for anyone watching.

He releases my hand as he looks over the congregation. “I believe we are ready to go.”

“One moment, Your Majesty, we are just waiting for more guards,” Orion supplies, and Joha sighs but nods, shuffling at my side as we wait for the procession to begin.

With nothing else to do, I find myself looking at Orion once more. Unlike Joha and me, who match, Orion’s ensemble sets him apart, and for some reason, I don’t like that. I want them to know we are a united front—a threat to one is a threat to all—and maybe that’s why I do what I do next.

Plucking a flower from the top of my shoulder, I lean into Orion, whose eyes widen. Ignoring his incredulous stare, I weave the flower into the top of his breastplate and smile as I step away. “Now we all match, like a team.” I nod before turning back to Joha. I feel Orion still watching me, but I refuse to look, something akin to embarrassment filling me at what I just did without thinking.

When I find the courage to look back at him, he’s smiling slightly, scanning the crowd once more. Seeing this big, scarred warrior with a tiny pink flower on his armour shouldn’t be adorable, but it is, and I giggle as I take Joha’s arm and let him help me into the palanquin. He sits elegantly next to me, our hands joined between us and on display for the entire city to see.

I was informed how we would be paraded throughout the provinces, giving hope and bringing in the first blooming of the laurels, then after that, we are to attend the docks to watch the ships sail away with the first medicine of the year, off to trade with our neighbouring kingdoms. Once that is done, we will go back to the palace for the banquet and the ball. It’s a busy day with so many opportunities for an assassin to strike, and it has me on edge. Sitting stiffly, I force a smile as we leave Moonshadow Palace and head out into the city beyond.

“Just remember, Alyx, smile and wave. That’s all they want. They don’t want the truth. They want the pretty image we represent, nothing more,” Joha murmurs as we make our way into Stormhallow Province. It makes my heart ache, since I have not been back here in many years.

I can feel Joha’s eyes on me, but I keep looking forward, reminding myself this is part of the job.

I can do it.

The entire procession through what was once my home is painful, and at every corner, a memory pops into my head. When we make our way into the neighbouring province of Oaken, I finally relax.

I can do this. I can do this.

I have to do this.

Pretending to be wildly in love with Joha is easier than expected, and I cannot admit to myself I don’t even hate it. I take liberties, like teasing him and flirting with him throughout the day, loving the way the blush stains his cheeks for everyone to see.

Once back at the palace, we are the centre of attention in our thrones as entertainment is conducted within the hall. No doubt the entertainers have spent months practicing. We have singers, dancers, and musicians, each act more elite and impressive than the last, but my focus is on Joha—not just keeping him safe, but seeing how much I can tease him before he loses it.

It’s become my favourite game and the only thing keeping me sane through the longest day of my life.

Reaching over, I lay my hand on his robed thigh. His eyes widen even as he claps along with the drums filling the air. Smirking, I keep my eyes on the entertainment as I trail my fingers across his thigh, leaving random patterns. I feel him shudder under my touch, but he says nothing, nor does he stop me. The exposed tip of his left ear, the one closest to me, is turning bright red though.

Hmm, I can do better.

Leaning in, I blow my breath across his ear, feeling him jerk. “Having fun, my king?”

He clears his throat, glancing at me as I pull away slightly. “Are you?”

“Hmm, well, I’ve been playing a game with you and also guessing what others are saying.” I nod at a burly man in a council robe. “He’s saying, ‘I know I slept with your mother, but it was a one-time thing. Why don’t we forget it?’ Or her, she’s saying, ‘You remind me of a badly bruised orange.’”

His laughter bursts from him, causing heads to turn, but he doesn’t notice, his eyes on me. “Is that so?”

I grin. “Your turn.”

His eyes rove over the crowd before landing on two females huddled together, whispering. “The one on the left is saying—” He clears his throat, and when his voice comes, it’s higher, making me grin. “‘I did see his muscles, but did you see his butt?’ The other is now saying, ‘His butt is so cute, but I saw his thighs in his armour.’”

I can’t help but laugh, and he grins at me as I pick out another. “He’s saying, ‘This food tastes better than my wife’s cooking, but don’t tell her. She’ll chase me from the house again, and I’ll have to sleep with the pigs.’” I grin as I glance at Orion, who stands at Joha’s side. “Your turn.”

“I’m working,” he comments without even looking at us, but his jaw tightens.

“So am I. Come on, big guy, just try one. It’s fun,” I promise.

“Come on, Orion,” Joha cajoles.

Orion sighs, and I think he’s going to ignore us until his deep voice comes out, sullen and sure. “She is saying that she loves her friend more than her husband.” He glances at us as we both stare. “Did I do it wrong?”

Joha and I share a look before bursting into laughter, leaning into each other. “Good one.” I nod. “Oh, him!”

We spend our time making up conversations and laughing with each other until we are all genuinely enjoying our time, but then a shadow falls over us, sobering us.

“My king.” Queen Mother bows before us. “How nice it is to see you two connecting and so very obviously infatuated with one another during such a special occasion, especially after yesterday’s festivities.” She clutches her throat.

“Indeed,” Joha replies, all traces of laughter gone as his eyes sweep over the crowd, not even glancing at her.

Her eyes narrow, her barbs not landing like she wants, so she turns to me. “That dress is very beautiful. I once wore something similar.”

“I have no doubt you looked as beautiful in it as you do today.” I smile sweetly. “I think I saw the dress you are wearing in the presentation of last season’s must-haves, didn’t I? How very forward of you, Queen Mother, to recycle and give back to the designers of the city.”

That does the trick. Her cheeks heat, and with narrowed eyes, she turns and heads into the crowd, snubbing me, which is exactly what I wanted.

“Let’s get out of here,” Joha whispers as he leans in.

It’s my turn to jerk back, eyeing him. “What?” I blurt.

“Just for a minute. I need some peace from prying eyes,” he pleads, turning his wide eyes to me, and I’m helpless to say no. Nodding, I let him take my hand, and then he hurries from the hall with me in tow. I hear Orion’s footsteps behind us, which is good, as Joha leads us through the winding halls and a double door into a room beyond, leaving Orion behind in the hall.

“Stay here,” he commands Orion.

“Joha,” he begins.

“I’ll sweep the room,” I promise as Joha shuts the door on him and slumps against it, looking far too tired.

“I just needed to get away. All I kept thinking was, which one of those smiling faces betrayed me? Even now, are they plotting my death?” he admits, rubbing his head as he pushes from the door, marching across the room and slumping onto the cushioned seat under the window that looks out onto the lake, giving us privacy and a beautiful shot of the scenery.

After checking the room, I head his way and carefully sit, arranging my skirts so I don’t rip the dress. It means our knees are touching, but he stares out of the window, looking lost and confused. I don’t like that. I want my smiling king back. I want happy Joha. The assassination attempt is taking a toll. He looks tired and so much older than he did when he first found me in the Lowers.

For one moment, I want to remind him that he can be happy. I want to see him smile. I don’t overthink it nor question why it’s important to me. I’m leaning in to do just that when he speaks.

“I used to enjoy these things when I was younger and my father was alive. He would make a game of it. We would laugh and joke all day. Now, they are simply duties I must do, but today . . .” He glances at me. “Today, you reminded me what it felt like to enjoy myself, even if I worried about the weapons trained on me. I enjoyed it. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” I murmur. “We are a team, remember?”

He nods, looking out the window again, and he looks so forlorn and lost that my train of thought circles back to what I was going to do. Before I can second-guess myself or move away, I lean in and use my fingers to turn his face to me. His brown eyes widen at how close I am.

“Alyx?” he whispers, but I ignore it.

“You look better when you smile,” I murmur before I press my lips to his. It’s a soft, chaste kiss, but he gasps all the same, opening his lips, and I can’t resist biting down on his lower one. He jerks, and I chuckle as I lean back.

His smile is slow, but it grows as I stare at him. “There it is, my king, the smile you deserve.”

His laughter is low and soft, and when his hand comes up and cups my cheek, I lean into it. “I did not have a reason to smile until you,” he admits, and before I can work out how I feel about his confession, his lips are on mine once more. When he pulls away, I’m wide-eyed and staring.

“Why did you kiss me?” I ask.

“To make you smile too.” He grips the back of my headdress, tugging me closer, our lips clashing. It starts sweet and slow, but it isn’t long before we are devouring each other. My hands are on the front of his robes, tugging him nearer as our tongues tangle, both of us unable to get close enough.

His other hand drops to my hip, urging me on, and I swing my leg across his lap, both of us laughing as our clothes get tangled, but it soon ends in a moan as I press down onto his crotch, kissing him and unable to stop.

I know we should, but as his hand slips under my dress, caressing my thigh, I let myself live for a moment. I let myself enjoy this because I know once we stop his killer, I will lose Joha, and I can admit now I don’t want to.

I don’t want to lose him.

I want him.