Chapter 24

Chapter

Twenty-Four

CRUX

I can feel Alyx spiralling. She wasn’t thinking when I kissed her, just acting, and I don’t want her second-guessing or, worse, regretting what we did. Instead, I carry her to bed, holding her in my arms like I have so many nights before, and kiss her softly until she relaxes once more.

“Sleep, Alyx,” I command.

“Crux,” she starts, fisting my shirt, our legs entwined together. Something has shifted between us now. I crossed the line I said I never would. She kissed me back though.

She wanted me.

My years of worry disappear into triumph and desire so strong, I’m almost unable to contain it.

“Tomorrow,” I promise as I kiss her head. She’s stiff at first, and I can almost hear her spiralling thoughts, but I stroke her back, not letting her go, and she finally relaxes until she falls asleep where she belongs.

In my arms.

My lips curve in a smile, and I know I just won a battle. My other hand drifts up, stroking my bruised, throbbing lips. My bottom one is bleeding from her teeth, and I hiss in pleasure and pain as I trace it.

Kissing her was better than I could have ever imagined. I don’t know why I waited so long. Oh, right, I didn’t want to lose her, but I already was. I could feel it. Panic consumed me until I ended up here without realising it. It wasn’t a logical thought. It was instinct.

I saw her here, surrounded by wealth where she belonged, and I imagined my life without her.

I needed her to understand that everything I have done is for her, so I kissed her. I crossed that line, and I don’t regret it one bit.

How can I with her taste on my tongue and her body in my arms? Maybe it was selfish to kiss her after seeing her with him, or maybe I’ve been a fool for waiting this long, but I will not lose my Alyx.

My entire existence, my entire life was built for her, and now she will never escape me.

I have a piece of her, and she owns all of me.

I close my eyes, soaking in her softness and warmth, and remember where it started all those years ago . . .

Rain blurs my vision, and the stolen coins jangle in my pocket as my hands are finally cleansed of the blood I spilled. I feel sick at what I did just to be able to eat, but it was him or me. I need this money to survive, to eat, and to live at least another day.

The stone walls of the nobles’ houses line each side of me. Their lights are off in the early hours of the morning as darkness threads through the streets, so it’s just me and the rain as I tip my head back, letting it wash me clean even though I feel like I never will be again.

I darkened my soul tonight, and I will do it again.

That’s when a noise reaches me above the pelting rain. Cocking my head, I drop my eyes to the street with a frown. My lanky, skinny frame shivers in the cold despite spending most of my life outside. I have survived it all, yet that sound cuts me to my core like nothing ever has before.

Someone is crying.

I track the sound. Years of having to watch my own back have made my senses sharp, even over the pattering rain. Heading to the side of a noble’s house, I find the source.

It’s a young girl, but it’s hard to tell her exact age. She is cowering in a white sleep dress stained with blood. The bottom is ripped and coated in mud, sticking to her soft, pale skin. Her hair hangs in wet, bright orange waves, and her arms shake as she wraps them tighter around herself. She lifts her head when she hears me, squeezing her eyes shut in fear.

She’s a few years younger than I am and absolutely terrified.

“Hey, it’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”

She whimpers, tightening her arms around herself protectively.

“I’m Crux. What’s your name?”

She doesn’t answer for a while, so I crouch and wait, and when she realises I’m not going to pounce and hurt her, she sniffles. “Alyx,” she whispers, her voice soft and small.

I smile reassuringly as she glances at me. I know what she sees — tattered, holey clothes I managed to steal and long, unkempt hair.

I am the total opposite of her. Even covered in blood and rain, it is obvious she comes from money.

“Are you okay, Alyx?” I ask as softly as I can, blinking away the rain.

She hesitates before shaking her head.

“Okay.” I press my knees to the hard stone, ignoring the way it hurts. “Do you want me to take you back to your family?” The second the word is out of my mouth, she begins to sob harder. “Okay, okay, I won’t. Hey, it’s okay. Don’t worry, I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.” She lifts her head. “I promise, Alyx. How about you come with me and we find some shelter from the rain? Get you warmed up and fed?”

It will cost me all my coin, but I don’t care. I can earn more, despite my earlier misgivings about what I did to get it.

I hold out my hand, covered in dirt and dried blood. She swallows, looking from me to it. “Promise?”

“I promise,” I vow. Staring into her bright, glassy eyes, I realise some very important things.

This girl will be everything to me, and I will do anything, give her anything so I never have to see her cry again.

I am nothing but a street rat, a homeless boy, and I know what I have to do.

She lost her home, so I will build her another.

I blink the memory away and look at the sleeping woman beside me. I don’t want to go, I want to spend eternity with her in my arms, but I know she will need space to think through what happened. I know my Alyx better than I know myself, and I don’t want her to be upset.

I place a lingering kiss on her forehead. “I love you, Alyx. I have since you placed your trust in me that night, and one day, you will be ready to hear that,” I promise softly, and then I slip from her bed.

I set my gift down with a note and slip out of her room and into the dawn, a smile I cannot get rid of branded across my face.