Chapter 7

7

Rex

Heart in my throat, I stare down at the tiny queen curled up among the blankets.

Pre-dawn light spills in from the slats of the stables, kissing her porcelain skin, highlighting hidden hints of blue in her midnight hair. The abrasions I left on her nude body.

Lord, she is a wonder. A sweet, beautiful wonder.

I look down at my own hands, scarred and misshapen.

Did I really have the fortune of a night with this girl? Did I really dare touch her perfect skin with these calloused fingers? What the hell am I supposed to do now?

Let her marry a prince?

Gulping, I turn and stomp from the stables, my destination the nearby creek. When I reach the edge, I strip quickly and wade straight into the gurgling water, letting the iciness stab my skin. I resurface only when my lungs begin to burn as painfully as my heart, reaching for the bar of soap always left at the base of the tree. The queen might be able to remain fresh as flowers after a night of rutting, but I can’t, and I won’t be stinking around her on top of being the unworthy bastard that took her virginity.

She’s going to marry someone else.

I look down at the soap in my hand to find it mutilated and drop the useless carcass of suds into the creek, watching it float away with eyes that feel bloodshot.

“You’re up early.”

I glance back over my shoulder to find Katrina taking a seat on the bank. “I’m not in need of any company, thank you.”

“You’re in a foul mood for someone who spent the night tupping the queen.”

“Don’t you say another word about that. Not to anyone.” I point at the cottage where my other sisters are no doubt eating breakfast. “That goes for them, too.”

Katrina looks hurt. “Do you think we wish to see our only brother hanged?”

Regretting my outburst, I lower my voice. “No, of course I don’t.”

“What are you thinking, Rex?” She pauses. “Do you love her?”

“Yes. God, yes.” Every ounce of the longing and misery inside of me seems to be packed into those three words. “Deeply.”

“Is she the reason you took the position at the palace?”

“Of course. I’d do it again, too. And again. Because I’m a fool.”

My sister shakes her head. “You’re not a fool.”

“Oh, I promise, I am.” I swallow but can’t seem to rid myself of the sharp lodgment in my throat. “I knew what was coming. Knew they were bringing two princes—two qualified men—to come meet her today and I allowed us to—” I break off and close my eyes. “She will likely marry another man before the sun sets this eve.”

“But…” Katrina’s brow furrows. “I don’t understand. She does not seem the wishy-washy type. She would give you her affection, then turn to another?”

“She will marry to build an alliance, put a new king in the throne and protect the kingdom, but…” I sigh, forcing myself to say the painful truth out loud. In front of a witness. So maybe I’ll finally get it through my thick skull and stop fantasizing about a life that will never be. “She only turned to me for comfort after the loss of the king and queen. It has been my privilege to give her that. She will soon realize there are far better options, though.”

“You’re wrong. I know you faced a fair bit of ridicule growing up. Maybe even still. But brother, hear me, there are no better options than you.”

“I am not a royal,” I point out. “I am a low born blacksmith playing at being a guard so I can moon over the queen. And I can’t…do that anymore.”

As soon as I say the words out loud, I realize how true they are.

Yesterday was my first day as the queen’s private guard and today is my last.

There is no way I can stand around and watch her marry another. Birth him children.

The best I could hope for is to be her lover—and I refuse to share.

All I can do is return her to the safety of the palace walls and go back to being a blacksmith. I’ll live off the memory of our magical time together, but I’ll have to do it from the real world. I have to get my head out of the clouds.

I wait for my sister to return to the cottage before climbing out of the creek and hastily redressing. When I reach the stables a few minutes later, I find Britta pacing back and forth, wringing her shawl in her hands. She sees me and stops, examining my face with a hopeful expression, but whatever she sees there causes her shoulders to slump. The sight of her disappointment slays me, blackening my already dark mood.

“We have to get you back before the first morning guard rotation,” I say, going to the stable and guiding out my horse. Forcing myself to be cold. “You have a busy day ahead.”

* * *

Britta

I stare downat the two garishly dressed, visibly arrogant men in front of my throne.

Richard holds a scroll and reads from it, proudly listing the myriad titles held by each prince, but I can barely hear anything over the buzzing in my ears.

Rex didn’t come through. He didn’t ask me to be with him.

Not just for one night, but always.

He’s actually going to let me choose between two other men.

One is blond and can’t seem to stop admiring the rubies on his hand.

The other is bald with ironically full eyebrows.

I regard them as one might a couple of odd bugs.

My heart is shattered on the stone floors of the grand hall, yet no one seems to acknowledge it. I haven’t said a word since arriving for this meeting. Doesn’t anyone wonder why? Can’t everyone see I’m bereft and heartsick?

Rex stands just inside the door of the great hall, head and shoulders above everyone else. It’s little consolation that he looks like he’s strapped into a torture device. Or that his hand is curled and shaking around the hilt of his sword, as if he might draw it at any moment and slay the two princes. No, that does nothing to comfort me.

On the ride back to the palace, he spoke to me only once—and it was to inform me he would be resigning his post as soon as I chose the future king.

Did last night mean nothing? Have I been completely naïve?

“Queen Britta,” Richard prompts me in a way that suggests he’s been calling my name for a while. “We think it might be best if you spend a little time with each of our lovely guests. Perhaps a walk around the gardens? Or a picnic near the river?”

He might as well be suggesting we lie down in front of a stampede.

I’m not in the right mind for this. I’m barely coherent.

My gaze strays to Rex. His jaw appears on the verge of cracking, eyes red rimmed. I can’t imagine a life without him. How can he imagine one without me?

“Queen Britta?” Richard says, more firmly this time.

I become aware that I’m humiliating myself in front of the court. What to do, though? Go along with the proceedings as if nothing is amiss? I am not attracted to either of these men and they do not strike me as men I could grow to love. The greed and ambition in their eyes is enough to tell me that. But I can’t just dismiss the entire process out of hand.

I could go along with it. Humor Richard and the court.

And then marry no one.

But that might jeopardize the kingdom. People like Katrina and Priscilla and the rest of Rex’s sisters, who I grew to love in just one night.

I don’t know what to do…and I have no one to talk to. My only confidant has barely spoken a word to me all morning and is planning on leaving at the earliest opportunity.

I swallow hard. “A walk in the gardens sounds lovely.”

The blond man—Prince Corwin—steps forward and offers his hand. “It would be an honor, Your Majesty.”

The other prince seems annoyed that he didn’t get a chance to offer first, blustering to Richard in spittle-soaked whispers. Seeing no other choice, I place my hand in Corwin’s, nearly recoiling at the softness of his palm when all I want is a hard, calloused one.

A low rumble fills the great hall and everyone glances around for the source. Everyone but me. I know it came from a certain giant and I’m done acknowledging him.

Corwin guides me out of the great hall, his chest puffed up, nodding at members of the court. I don’t look right or left—or at my former lover—keeping my attention squarely ahead. My chin high. We walk in silence to the gardens, before Corwin seems to realize this parade isn’t only for show. That we’re actually supposed to converse.

“Now, Queen Britta. Are you a lover of rubies, as I am?”

Kill me now.