Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21

King

T he small droplets of water from my shower still linger on my shoulders and back as I hastily tug on a T-shirt and workout shorts. My mind races with thoughts of spending the day with Willa, my heart beating a little faster at the thought of finally seeing her again after a few long days apart. I hope she feels the same way but sometimes it's hard to tell with her. Willa tends to guard her emotions but I'm also enjoying finding ways to open her up. We have a full day and night together with no other obligations and I intend to make the most of it. While we've got some loose plans, my first order of priority will be to drag her into the bedroom and give her a proper hello.

One that involves multiple orgasms.

As I make my way to the kitchen, trying to shake off the lingering fatigue from my red-eye back from Los Angeles, there's a knock at the door. A sudden surge of excitement pulses through me, knowing that beauty is on the other side. I had unlocked it before I jumped in the shower as Willa usually just lets herself in, but she was going by the grocery store on the way here and I'm sure her arms are loaded.

I hustle to the door and swing it open, a wide smile already spreading across my face… only for it to fade when I see Emily standing there.

I am stunned speechless by her unexpected visit and can only stare mutely at her.

"Hi, Jack," she says softly.

Emily always called me Jack while all of my friends—and eventually my family after I'd earned the nickname in hockey—called me King. She used to say it made her feel special being the only one who held on to my real name, and yet… I always thought it spoke to a distance between us.

Weird that thought comes to mind, but I shake it off, sliding out of my stupor. "Emily… what are you doing here?" I manage to say, confusion evident in my rough voice.

"Can I come in for a moment?" she asks.

It's then that I notice there's something a little off about her. Her voice sounds clear and not trembling with emotion like when we met in Chicago, but her eyes are troubled, swirling with what looks like a heavy weight. More bad news about her mom?

No matter the reason, I can't refuse her admittance. It would be beyond rude so I invite her in to figure out what's going on and then I will quickly but politely extricate her from my place. "Yeah… sure."

She scans my condo with wide eyes as she steps inside. "It's so much nicer than our old apartment when you first got into the league," she comments, trying to break the awkward silence between us.

She's not wrong. Our first apartment was small and only half-furnished. But I'm not interested in reminiscing and if she is, I need to nip that. "Emily, why are you here?" I ask again, a mix of emotions bubbling inside me.

Tears well in her eyes as she takes a deep breath. "I've been worried about my mom, Jack. I needed someone to talk to who understands," she reveals, her words striking a nerve.

I don't buy it for a moment. Anything to do with her mom could have been accomplished with a text or phone call. You don't just show up on someone's doorstep over four hundred and fifty miles away about something that could be handled by phone. "I don't believe you." My voice is firm and without yield, causing her chin to jerk inward. "What's really going on?" I press, my voice growing more urgent.

She bites her lip and then looks up at me with pleading eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you, Jack. I miss you. I still love you," she confesses, her words causing my heart to sink. "I came to see if we could talk about reconnecting. Maybe as friends at first, but then that could evolve into something deeper. It's taken me a few years, but I see now that you were the best thing to ever happen to me and I thought, surely you still have some feelings, right? We were each other's first. We were together for a very long time."

Every word out of her mouth makes me cringe even though those were the words I gave her in an effort to keep us together. But now… it's too late.

I shake my head. "We can't go back. I've moved on."

"But have you really?"

"I'm with Willa now and what we have is strong."

I don't elaborate. I don't tell Emily that Willa offers me so much more than she ever did, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I believe that I was set on this crash course with Willa because we were destined to be together, and that means my chapter with Emily has closed for good.

"Just think about our good times, Jack," she implores, desperation creeping into her tone. "Remember how happy we were? Please, let's just talk about it."

Before I can respond, the door swings open and Willa walks in. Her hands are indeed loaded with three bags of groceries in each.

She doesn't spot us at first, kicking the door closed and taking two steps toward the kitchen before her head pops up. She sees me, smiles and then catches sight of Emily.

Her smile dims, confusion in her eyes, but I can see she's going to give me the benefit of the doubt. Willa dumps the groceries on the island and glances back and forth between me and Emily before introducing herself.

"Hi. I'm Willa," she says, offering her hand with a warm smile.

Emily takes it, no smile returned, and says, "I'm Emily."

I can see that Willa makes the immediate connection and the shock on her face tells me that I've made a severe mistake in not sharing my recent interactions with my ex. Especially as I see Emily looking Willa over critically. I know what she's seeing—an incredibly beautiful, confident woman who just walked into my house without needing to knock.

I can literally see Emily's hackles rise and the tension ripples through the room. I wince as Emily says, "I've heard so much about you."

"Really," Willa says, her eyes cutting briefly to me and her voice flat. "I've not heard much about you at all."

Willa's just landed a dual cut—to Emily, so she knows that she's not important enough to me to really discuss, and a slice for my benefit… a backhanded chastisement that she didn't know I've been talking to Emily.

Feeling ashamed and guilty for not being completely honest with Willa, I attempt to set the record straight. "Emily's mom has cancer and she reached out to me a few times. We had dinner in Chicago."

"And now she's in your apartment," Willa says with a saccharine-sweet voice, turning to face me fully and crossing her arms.

The accusation hangs in the air. What in the world did I do to make Emily feel so comfortable that she could come over?

Sadly, Willa won't believe that I did nothing to encourage this and it's going to take a longer conversation. I turn to Emily. "I'm sorry but Willa and I have plans today, so—"

"No, we don't," Willa cuts in and starts for the door. She glances at Emily. "Stay as long as you want. Nice to meet you."

There's a flash of triumph on Emily's face as Willa breezes by and that has me jumping into action. She's out the door and halfway down the hall to the elevator before I catch up to her.

I take her by the arm to halt her progress but she jerks free, spinning on me and hissing, "How could you have dinner with your ex and not tell me?"

"Because it was inconsequential. I never thought I'd see her again."

Willa points back toward my condo. "And yet she's inside your home."

"I didn't invite her here," I point out. "She just showed up."

"She clearly felt comfortable enough to do that," she accuses.

"You can't lay on my doorstep how Emily feels or perceives things. I'm telling you, I did nothing to encourage any of this."

"Really? How can I trust that? You say it was inconsequential, yet something made you want to hide it from me. So why didn't you really tell me?" she demands.

I throw my hands out in frustration. "I don't know. I just didn't."

"Not good enough," she growls and spins away.

I lunge again, taking her arm, but she jerks free with a glare. "Don't touch me. I'm leaving and I want you to leave me alone, okay?"

Desperately, I chase after her down the hallway. "Willa, please listen. It's not what you think. I'm not cheating on you. She called about her mom and I told her that I'm with you. We didn't do anything wrong," I insist, hoping she will believe me and forgive my mistake.

"I trusted you," she accuses, her eyes blazing with hurt and disappointment. "But you couldn't even be honest about something as important as this. Scott warned me about people like you."

Surprised by her mention of Scott, anger bubbles inside me. "You talked to Scott about me?"

She nods. "He came by my house two days ago. He was concerned about me dating a professional athlete."

That fucking pisses me off in more than one way. "So it's okay for your ex to come to your place and you don't tell me about it, but not okay for me?"

She looks momentarily abashed but her chin lifts. "I actually was going to tell you today because his comments bothered me. I wanted to talk to you about them, but I didn't want to bother you while you were on a road trip."

Well, shit. I can't be mad about that. But I am angry that her ex sought to interfere. "What exactly were Scott's concerns?"

"He said you'd cheat on me. That professional athletes use away games to hook up with the women who throw themselves at them. And I saw firsthand that women do that, King."

"For sure that happens, but I don't take advantage of it."

"You didn't tell me about Emily coming to see you. You can understand how that looks when I take into account Scott's worries."

"Fuck Scott," I growl. "He doesn't give a shit about you. He just wants to cause you angst."

Willa's eyes flash with fury. "No, fuck you. You're the one with a woman in your condo. A woman you've clearly talked to on more than one occasion since we've been together, including a secret dinner. And you're right. Scott doesn't give a shit about me, but you know what… you're just like Scott. Keeping secrets that involve other women."

That's a low fucking blow. "Don't you dare ever compare me to him. It's not fair. I never demeaned you, verbally abused you, and I sure as fuck never cheated on you. You know, you're so focused on all the ways you've been hurt before, you want to just write off everything I've been to you because I made a mistake. Well, you know what, I find it ironic."

"How's that?" she grits out.

"Because you're the one always worried that I'm too young for you, but you're the one showing a clear lack of maturity here."

Willa gasps and her face flushes red. She opens her mouth to retort, then snaps it shut. Without a word, she spins and heads toward the elevator. This time, I don't try to stop her. I watch silently as the doors open and she enters, her head downturned and refusing to meet my stare. The doors slide shut and with a sigh, I walk back to my condo.

For a moment when I enter, I forget Emily is still here. She offers me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry if I ruined your plans. I can help you put your groceries away and we can talk about it if you want."

I shake my head. "I'm really sorry if this hurts your feelings, Em, but I have no interest in rekindling our relationship. I think it's best if you go."

"I can be just a friend. We can talk like friends."

Her voice is too desperate, eyes too pleading. I don't believe it for a second and even if I did, I can't afford to keep her in my life if I want Willa. "We can't be friends. That's not fair to Willa. I'm sorry, but you can't rely on me like that and I'm absolutely not going to rely on you."

"But Jack—"

I push past her, opening my door. "I'm sorry. Safe travels back to Chicago."

Her expression turns to resignation and she nods her head sadly. "I'm sorry."

Emily leaves, and I'm left alone with the weight of the morning's events crushing down on me like a boulder.

Things sure got fucked up and I'm not sure how to fix them.

?

By the time I'm at the Christmas tree lot, I'm more pissed than anything. I'd really looked forward to doing this with Willa. Maybe I'd even romanticized it, and now I'm here alone. It pisses me off because Willa refused to talk things out. She freaked and left, and that's not the way I operate. I like communication because I'm a mature fucking twenty-five-year-old.

Christ, it burns me up. All her talk of the age gap, mostly focused on me being younger, and today I'm the more mature of the two of us.

Frustration billows inside me, a storm brewing in my chest as I walk up and down the rows of trees, not one of them appealing to me. The warring emotions in my chest range from a physical ache, the emptiness almost suffocating, to a sadness that maybe this isn't meant to be. Maybe Willa just isn't in a place she can give me what I need.

I take in the families and couples walking among the rows of evergreens, laughing and holding hands as they pick out the perfect tree while I wander aimlessly. It only takes me about three minutes to realize I don't want to be here and I head back to my car. Fuck the tree and fuck Christmas. I'm in official humbug mode.

Not sure what will make me feel better, I know a good workout will get my mind off things for a while. I head to the arena to use their facilities since it's a Saturday and we have the day off. I doubt anyone will be there and with my mood, I'd like to be alone rather than use the gym in my condo complex.

When I arrive, I'm surprised to see Penn's vehicle in the player parking garage. He doesn't drive anything flashy, at least not by the standards of being one of the highest-paid hockey players in the league. A Range Rover that's a handful of years old and could use a good wash.

I find him in the gym when I enter and my first thought is I'm glad he's so standoffish because I don't feel like interacting. He's working at a rack of dumbbells, currently doing shoulder presses. I slide by but he sees me in the mirror and says, "What's up?"

I don't respond. Payback I guess, for the two months of near silence and pulling teeth to get words from him. I head to the farthest rack and proceed to do some dynamic stretches before I launch into squats.

For the next fifteen minutes, I'm blissfully in my own world. I ignore Penn and he ignores me. I concentrate on the burn and fatigue of muscles pushed to their limits, but thoughts of Willa keep popping into my head.

And that pisses me off too. I'd like to let that go for a bit but—

"You okay?"

I turn to face Penn standing there, a towel wrapped around his neck. I'm adding another plate to the bar and I turn my attention back to it. "All good," I say.

From my peripheral vision, he starts to walk off, taking me at face value, and you know what? That pisses me off too.

"No, wait," I snap, turning to face him. He stops, looks at me with uncertainty. "No, I'm not okay."

A look of panic shutters Penn's gaze and I like that he's on the defensive.

I let out a bitter laugh. "You haven't wanted a damn thing to do with anyone on this team and you've forbidden me from talking about your past, but guess what… you can damn well listen to mine."

Penn's eyes widen in surprise, but he doesn't back away. He doesn't say a word either and I take that as tacit permission to continue on.

"Willa walked in while Emily was at my place."

"Who's Emily and why was she there?"

I'm actually surprised he's showing interest, so I purge. "Emily's my ex-girlfriend. We were together from high school until a few years ago when she called it off. I've moved on. Haven't had any contact but she's come back into my life recently. Showed up in Chicago when we played the Bobcats, all under the guise she needed a friend because her mom has cancer. She also made some indication she wanted to give us another go, but I told her I was with Willa and I had no interest. Then she showed up at my place, as bad fucking luck would have it, just minutes before Willa arrived since we had plans to spend the day together. Willa's pissed and rightfully so as I didn't tell her about Emily contacting me, but I tried to explain and apologize and she wasn't having any of it. She stormed out… wouldn't give me the time of day, and now here I am, unable to buy a fucking Christmas tree and working out with a guy who doesn't really want anything to do with me or this team."

I run out of steam, noting that Penn's expression has bordered on slight boredom during my rant. I wait for him to turn around and walk away, having fulfilled his duty to do nothing more than listen as I demanded. I certainly don't expect advice, but then he says, "Call her."

I frown because that's two more words than I thought I'd ever get. But it's way too simple. "Call her?"

"Call her and explain yourself. If she won't pick up, leave a voicemail. She'll listen to it eventually and you'll have had your say. Then it will be up to her to figure out what to do. You'll at least feel better for getting all that stuff off your chest. I suggest you apologize though."

"Do you think that will work?"

Penn shrugs noncommittally. "I don't know, but it's better than doing nothing. Certainly better than talking to me."

"Yeah… okay, thanks. I'll—"

Penn turns his back and walks away.

"—do that."

I watch until he disappears into the hall that connects to the locker rooms and pull out my phone. I don't have anything practiced but I know what's in my heart. I dial Willa's number and it's no shock that she doesn't answer.

So I leave her the voicemail Penn suggested. "Hey Willa… I'm really sorry about what happened and I want to talk to you about it. I know tempers were high, but I'm hoping we can put that aside. I'm so fucking sorry I didn't tell you about Emily. I know all of this could've been avoided had I told you. I'm a little uncertain since Scott's got it into your head I can't be trusted, but I'd ask you to consider if you can trust his words or motives. I know it's lame of me to talk about trust when I broke yours by not being open with you about Emily, but I swear I wasn't hiding it. It truly didn't seem important because she's not important to me anymore. You are." I pause a second, collecting more thoughts. "Emily knew about you though. I told her all about you because I'm with you. I didn't do that to hurt her or force her away, but because I'm happy and proud to be with you. I just… I really would love for you to call me. I need for you to call me and let me know this isn't permanently broken. Okay… um… talk soon, I hope."

I disconnect and wonder if anything I just said will make a difference. Willa's operating on a past that has made her wary of relationships and it seems that any inroads I've carved over the last few weeks may have been obliterated.

All I can do now is wait.