Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

King

S tepping off the bus, I stretch my arms above my head. I slept hard on the short plane ride to Chicago, but it was needed. I was up until the wee hours of the morning with Willa, the two of us christening practically every piece of furniture in my house. I didn't even know it was possible to have that much sex in just a handful of hours but apparently my body doesn't know how to quit around her and thank fuck her stamina matches. Those memories will live rent free in my head for years to come. I wonder if she's thinking about me right now.

I know she'll be getting off work soon, then she'll head home to have dinner with Brittany and Izzy. I glance at my watch and figure I'll call her in a few hours, just before she heads to bed. I shot her a text as soon as we landed that I'd arrived in Chicago, but I didn't hear back from her. Didn't really expect to because when she's doctoring, that's where her mind is.

It's one of the things I love most about her. Not just the dedication to her practice and her patients, but the fact that she doesn't need to hear from me every hour to remain confident in our relationship. I love her independence and ability to have her own life outside of me.

I take two steps toward the lobby door, following Boone and Atlas from the bus, when someone calls my name.

A female voice, soft and recognizable.

I turn and see Emily standing on the sidewalk, wrapped in a wool coat with her purse slung over her shoulder. She raises a gloved hand for a tentative wave and offers a hesitant smile.

I'm stunned to see her there. I mean, she lives in Chicago, but I have no clue why she'd be outside the Titans' hotel. It immediately puts me on edge.

Stepping over to her, a mixture of curiosity and unease swirling in my chest, I ask, "What are you doing here?"

I try to make it sound politely intrigued but it comes off a little defensive, and I mentally wince. I'm not an asshole and I don't want to be one, but I don't correct it.

She looks sheepish and a bit out of place. "I knew the Titans were playing here tomorrow. My boss rubs elbows with the Chicago Bobcats general manager and he got me tickets to the game."

"Along with the location of the players' hotel?" I glance back at the bus, see players still ambling off, then back to Emily. "This feels a little weird."

She at least has the grace to blush and stammers an apology with a sheen of tears in her eyes. "I know, and I'm sorry. I was going to call and see if we could have dinner and talk, but I was sure you'd say no. So I thought if I just showed up here, you'd have a harder time saying no to my face, and I know that's pushy as hell, but… well, I've got bad news about my mom and you said you were my friend and we could talk…"

I hold up my hand to stop her as I'm a relieved to hear this has to do with her mom and there's no denying the fear and angst in her voice. I'm guessing the news is really bad. Guilt tugs at me. The tears in her eyes make it hard to say no. While I'm not keen on the idea, there's no reason I can't grab a bite with her and lend a sympathetic ear.

A hand comes down on my shoulder and I turn to see Rafferty. His expression is curious and a bit concerned. "Hey man… don't mean to interrupt, but can I borrow you a quick second before I head in?"

I frown, wondering what could be so important but say, "Sure." I then tell Emily. "Give me a minute. Then we'll go find some place to eat and talk."

She flashes me a relieved smile and takes a few steps back. I turn to Rafferty. "What's up?"

He keeps his eyes locked on me, not sparing a glance at my ex, but it's clear she's the subject of his concern. "Who's that and why are you going to dinner with a woman who's not Willa?"

If his words weren't coated in so much suspicion and accusation, I would laugh at my friend, but honestly, I'm too amused and touched over his worry for my girlfriend that I don't bother.

Instead, I say, "She's just a friend I've known for a long time and she lives here. Her mother has cancer and looks like the news isn't good. We're going to grab some dinner and talk about it."

Again, Rafferty doesn't look at Emily but pins me with a censuring stare. "She looks at you like you're more than a friend."

"It's not like that," I assure him, then realize that's not quite truthful. "I mean… we dated for a long time but broke up a few years ago. She—"

Rafferty shakes his head, his frown deepening. "Doesn't work like that, young one. You may not see it, but she's looking at you as more than a friend. You need to be careful."

It's a struggle for me not to glance over at Emily. I mean, I had a moment's unease and I wondered both at her call and her showing up here, but… her mother is what's important. "I hear you and maybe you're right. But I'm truly just interested in hearing about her mom—a woman I cared about—and giving her a little support. I still care for her, you know."

He nods, understanding in his eyes. "I know. Just be careful. Nothing good ever comes out of an ex popping back into the picture."

"I have no intention of doing anything but lending an ear tonight. I plan to reiterate that I'm with Willa. I told Emily about her already when she called earlier this week."

Rafferty grunts with a smirk. "Aha. She's already called once, and now shows up out of the blue. She wants you back, my man."

"Maybe," I reply with a shrug. "But that's not what I want. I'll make sure she understands that." And then I can't help but add with a pointed look, "Because you have to be clear when you're not interested in someone."

"Touché," he says with a sheepish grin. "In that case," he says, offering a fist for me to bump, "have a good dinner. Fill me in tomorrow."

"Later, man."

I watch as he walks into the hotel and then turn to Emily. "This is your town. Somewhere close by we can walk to grab dinner?"

She jerks her head down the way. "There's a good place two blocks down."

It's blustery and I pull my coat around me as we head uptown. Emily leads us to a cozy little place called the Windy City Bistro and we're seated at a quiet table in the back. The dim lighting and jazz playing in the background set a calming atmosphere and I order a beer while she orders a dirty martini.

While we wait for our drinks, I ask her, "Tell me about your mom."

"The doctors found that the cancer has spread to her lymph nodes," she says, her voice trembling. "She needs more aggressive treatment now—but the mortality rate is really high and the prognosis is bleak."

"Shit." I rub my hand over my jaw. "I'm so sorry, Em. How is your mom taking it?"

Her smile is tremulous, accompanied by a slight bubbly laugh. "Oh, you know her. Strong and determined, no matter what the doctors say. She says she'll beat this. But I'm so scared, Jack."

"I don't have any good words to offer, but I know one thing for sure… your mom is a warrior. If anyone can beat this, it's her. And I think mental attitude is such a huge part of the process. When the mind is strong, the body is strong. My advice is to do whatever you need to do to keep your mom mentally focused on winning. Don't let her see your moments of weakness, but it's okay to have them. Just do it in private."

Tears stream down Emily's face and she reaches out to take my hand which feels awkward, but I don't pull away. "You were always so good at supporting me, making me feel better about things. That's good advice." She sighs longingly, wiping her tears with her napkin. "I wish we were still together. I know it's selfish of me to have those regrets now, but my emotions are high and they make me honest."

I gently tug my hand free, trying to keep my tone reassuring. "Emily, I can be here as a friend, but that's all it can be."

She rests her hands in her lap, her eyes moist but clear. "You never wonder about what we could be if we got back together? We have a few years of maturity on us and we were together for almost eight years. Surely that accounts for something."

I don't know what to say. It's clear she's making a pitch. "But we moved on."

"For a time," she admits with a nod. "But I'm different now and so are you. Maybe we could have a second chance."

This is so out of left field. While I suspected she was feeling vulnerable and perhaps hopeful, I didn't expect a full-out request that I consider getting back together.

"I'm with Willa now." It's the strongest statement I can make.

"I know. But you've been with her a few weeks at most. Your feelings can't be that strong."

"Actually, they are," I deadpan. "You're right. You and I are different. We're more mature. Who we are today is based on experiences in the past and I'm sorry if this hurts, Emily, but when I say I've moved on, I have. I'm only looking forward and Willa is in my line of sight."

Her face crumples, fat tears form and then spill. "I wasn't expecting that." She sniffles, dabs at her eyes. "I thought the years together would mean so much more."

Maybe they would have before I met Willa. Maybe this would be a different conversation if she weren't in the picture, but she is and there's not one single curiosity within me as to what a rekindled relationship with Emily would look like.

"I can be your friend, Em, but that's all it can be."

She nods, a sad smile on her face. "Of course, I understand. I'm sorry for putting you in this position."

"Don't apologize," I reassure her. "You're understandably overwhelmed right now. And I'm glad you told me all this. I'm glad we're talking about it."

Emily nods again, takes one last wipe at her eyes and a deep breath. When she lets it out, she says, "I have no experience with cancer. It's all so scary and I think the lack of understanding is what's causing the most angst."

I'm relieved to have her switch subjects away from us, a seeming acceptance of my letdown. "That makes sense. I'm not sure if it will help or not, but my teammate Boone's been through a cancer ordeal with his fiancée's little brother. I'm sure he or Lilly would be glad to talk to you about what it's like from a family member's perspective."

Her eyes widen with gratitude. "Really? They'd talk to me about it?"

"I'm sure they would."

She shares more about her mom and the treatment plan and keeps the conversation on a friendly note for the rest of the dinner. Our food arrives and we spend time catching up on each other's lives, mostly on how our families are doing and our respective careers.

As the evening winds down, I realize that despite the emotional intensity Emily wrought, I'm glad I could be there for her as a friend.

I pay the bill and outside the restaurant, I give Emily a hug. "Stay strong, Em."

She squeezes me briefly and steps back, tucking her hands in her coat pockets. "Thank you for listening to me, letting me rant, letting me hope for something but ever so gently letting me down. I'm happy you're happy, Jack."

"You're very welcome. Keep me posted on your mom's treatments."

"I will."

"Do you need me to walk you to your car or anything?" I ask.

She shakes her head, throwing her thumb over her shoulder. "I'm in a garage just across the street and down a block."

I glance that way, noting that we're in a good part of the city, well-lit with bustling sidewalk traffic. "Okay, then. Have a great night."

"Good night," she says. I wait with her at the next intersection for her to cross. She waves and then I turn for my hotel, ruminating over the conversation.

It's all forgotten when my phone rings. Pulling it out of my back pocket, a thrill shoots through me at seeing Willa's name. "Hey, you," I answer. "How's my favorite doctor?"

I'm treated to a husky laugh. "Your favorite doctor, huh? That's romantic."

Grinning, I step into the hotel lobby and move to an empty chair. "Well, I would have called you my favorite girlfriend, but I was afraid that would scare your relationship-averse spirit."

"I'm not relationship averse," she exclaims with a snort.

"I'll amend my statement. You're serious relationship averse."

"That's true," she admits with a laugh but then drops her voice. "However, I think it's obvious I can't quite keep it casual with you."

Another thrill… this time a bolt of happiness at such an admission. "Oh yeah? Tell me more."

"Let's just say you've managed to knock some walls down in a very short time."

"Came in like a wrecking ball, huh?" I ask.

There's a moment of silence before she asks incredulously, "You didn't just quote Miley Cyrus, did you?"

"I did, but rest assured, that's about the only line I can quote to you. The rest of the song doesn't apply to us."

Willa laughs again. "That's good to know."

"What are you doing right now?" I ask, glancing around at the empty lobby. I'm sure some of the guys went out tonight while others probably just got room service. I consider heading to my room but I'm too comfortable right here.

"I'm lying in my bed."

That piques my interest. "What are you wearing?"

"Hold on a second," she says, and my heart speeds up as I sit straighter in my chair. My phone chimes with an incoming text and I pull it from my ear, knowing she's sent a picture.

I laugh when I see it, studying it for a moment before bringing the phone back up. "You're adorable. I particularly like the green mud mask and the ratty Guns N' Roses T-shirt."

"Not the sexiest I could come up with but it's comfy and my face will glow after."

"You always glow," I say.

Willa sighs. "And that's why the walls are coming down."

"Glad to hear it."

I end up staying in the lobby talking to her for another twenty minutes, about everything and nothing important. It's only after I hang up, grab my room key at the lobby desk and head into the elevator that I realize she didn't ask me what I did for dinner tonight and I didn't volunteer that I went out with Emily.

It honestly didn't cross my mind while we were talking but it's weighing on me now. I consider calling her, telling her everything because she should know. But it's also late and after I parted ways with Emily tonight, I doubt we'll ever talk again. We spent the majority of our meal speaking as only friends and I felt the distance in our hug goodbye. She wasn't trying to hold on at all.

I decide not to bother Willa with this but resolve that if my ex calls again, I'll let her know what's going on. Hell, if Em continues to reach out, I'm probably going to need Willa's advice on how to handle it but that's a problem I won't go looking for. I'm going to assume it's over.