Chapter 23

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Nia

I stare at the screen, the words turning my stomach as I stare.

It's all been a lie…

A broken noise escapes my lips and I cover my mouth with my hand. He can't hear me, because I need time to think.

I try to open the phone and see the other messages but, of course, I don't know the code.

"Nia," Jake calls. "Your cappuccino is getting cold."

My chin jerks up. I lived a lie for years, but with Jake, I'm so wide open, one look at my face and he'll know something is wrong.

Then again, I don't know how we avoid this one.

He made me promises.

I sob into my hand, my knees giving out so that I sink onto the bed. The one on which I just lost my virginity.

My nails dig into my face as I squeeze my eyes shut, the emotion threatens to burst out of me.

All those promises…it's obvious that he didn't mean them. How co uld I be so stupid? A silly little virgin so ready to believe that he loved me. But he was planning on dumping me all along…

All at once, I wonder what that might mean.

Is it drop me at the airport? In the desert?

Is Jake going to hurt me?

My blood runs cold. It's not like I haven't experienced a man who I thought loved me deciding I was the enemy.

A wave of grief so strong hits me as I fold my head between my knees, tears leaking out of my eyes. I swipe at the water, mascara and eyeliner smearing on my hand. What a stupid, stupid girl I am.

Another sob rises up in my chest, but I swallow it back down. I was made for this.

I don't cry. I don't openly grieve. I just soldier on.

I squeeze my eyes shut, muffling my scream in my leg. What is it about having some hope that makes it harder to live in the darkness of despair?

I suddenly don't want to do this anymore.

I remember that promise that I asked Jake to make. That he'd kill me rather than give me back to Toni.

He didn't make it. He said he would never hurt me, and he wasn't giving me back.

"Nia. Your coffee." He's in the door and I clutch the phone to my chest, still bent in half, I keep my head down, like he won't know somethings wrong if he doesn't see my face.

"Is everything all right?"

"Fine," I force my voice to remain even, but I don't look at him. I can't. I sink into myself, trying to decide what to do. Confront him? Pretend?

He comes into the room and passes by me. My head automatically lifts to take in the details of his body. He's shirtless, muscles rippling, and something deep inside me aches.

It's almost pathetic how much I want to curl into him, even now.

He sets the frothy coffee on the nightstand and turns to me. "Why is your head between your knees?"

I stare at the floor, trying to come up with an answer .

"Nia?"

I shake my head, my throat closing on a lump. I can't do what I did with Toni. I can't shut down my emotional side. I just gave Jake my virginity.

I think I might love this man.

The man who's going to dump me and leave me for Toni to clean up. God, I'm so fucking stupid. This is why I knew I shouldn't accept his protection. I was better off alone.

I don't even speak as I hand him his phone. Our fingers brush, though I try to ignore the jolt of electricity that passes through me, as I sit up. I still don't look at him. I can't.

He takes the phone but doesn't even look at the screen. Instead, he's sinking down in front of me, balancing on the balls of his feet, resting his elbows on his knees. "Are you regretting what we just did?"

A wild laugh bubbles up my chest. Regret doesn't even begin to touch what I feel. "Regret?" I shake my head, steal suddenly stiffening my spine. "That's one word…"

"Tell me what's going on."

"You really are just like my daddy," the last word comes out as a sneer.

His brow scrunches. "I don't know what you mean by that."

"A gangster. Ready to throw me away when I'm not convenient anymore." The words sound far away, like someone else is speaking them.

"I promised to marry you."

"Lie," I push out on a half sob. "It's a lie, isn't it?"

His mouth purses into a line, his eyes wincing with regret.

I push up, spinning and darting past him. I don't know where I think I'm going, there is nowhere to go.

But there is more space in the living room and kitchen, and I run out there, stopping in the space where the kitchen ends and the living room begins.

He's right behind me and I spin to…I don't even know…scream, fight, cry. He hooks my waist and pulls me close.

I don't melt into him, but I can't deny that as his scent fills my nostrils, I want to. How crazy that the very man who is going to end me is the one I want to protect me. "I hate you," I whisper into his chest.

"Why? Tell me. What happened?"

He methodically planned, so I know he knows I saw something on his phone. He's far too smart to not have made the connection. "Why don't you look?"

"Because," he lets out a long breath, his hand coming to the back of my head. "I want you to tell me."

I stand there, his body pressed to mine, one hand on the small of my back, one in my hair. I don't lean my body against his, but I do put the weight of my skull in his hand, tipping my head back to look into his eyes.

God, his eyes are this gray that's like the sea during a storm. They've always captivated me, held me hostage, and I pause now, lips parting as my heart does that flip it always does when my gaze meets his.

"Are you really going to marry me or is that just some sick joke?"

His eyes widen in a way that makes him look guilty. "What are you talking about?"

But I don't answer as a strange sound catches my ear. We've been in the middle of nowhere for days and I didn't even notice that there was no car noise, no engines running, no sounds other than the nature around us.

My head cocks as I listen.

"Fuck," he rumbles, but his hands don't leave me, if anything they tighten. "It's a chopper."

"Helicopter?" I look back at him, fear making my thoughts slow. "Who?"

"I'm not sure," he steps back then but he takes my hand, pulling me with him. "Put on jeans and a T-shirt. Something sturdy. Drink your coffee. We'll talk as soon as I figure out what's going on but do not, for one second, think that we are not getting married. We are. I meant every promise I made. "

I don't even know what to do with that. His family would say he's lying. And their message chain clearly states they intend to dump me.

But I do what he says, because he's right. Whatever's coming, I'll do better if I'm not in a dress.

I wiggle myself into jeans as Jake puts on a shirt and I hear him rumble behind me.

"What?" I turn, worried, he's seen something, but his eyes are on me.

"I've never seen you in jeans before."

"So?"

His gaze is dark, the heat in it making my breath catch for a different reason. I should not allow him to distract me. He isn't what he promised he'd be, that heat is a lie.

The sound of the helicopter is getting louder. Pulling on his workout sneakers, I tug a white T-shirt over my head just in time for him to kiss my forehead. "Whatever you're thinking, don't. Whoever is in that chopper, I will keep you safe."

And then he's gone.

I want to believe him. I do. But as I trail behind him back out of the bedroom, I know I shouldn't. I've learned the truth…

From the bank of windows in the living room, I see the helicopter land in the hardpack desert sand.

I feel myself tense, but his shoulders relax. "Don't worry," his deep voice reverberates through me. "It's just Roman."

But the name slices at my gut.

Roman.

I know why he's here.

Jake swipes his finger over the keypad, stepping outside, and leaving the door partially ajar as he strides to the chopper.

I see a tall, dark-haired man in sunglasses and an impeccably cut suit step out of the helicopter, ducking as he moves to meet Jake.

While Jake makes me feel at home, this man has me tensing after the text I read…

I spin, needing some water or something to calm my racing heart when I see them …

The keys on counter, a little H emblem on the key fob. The Honda keys and my ticket out of here…

Snatching up the keys, I start for the open door. I've only ever driven twice, my cousin taking me around a parking lot.

Toni never taught us; Jess and I were always driven by a chauffeur. It sounds luxurious, but it's one more way he kept control.

I hope I remember how as I start for the door.

I planned to teach myself in Canada, when I'd purchased a car. But this is so different. Jake will see me leave, he'll follow…

Opening it only a tiny bit more, I slip out and then move to the side of the house.

Jake and Roman are talking.

Roman's got his hands crossed over his chest, while Jake's fists are clenched at his sides. I can't see Jake's face, but Roman looks pissed.

I could go back inside. Assume Jake's fighting for me.

But is that a chance I really want to take? I've been stupidly na?ve and it's time I take some control.

Crouching down, I hit the button to unlock the car, watching to see if they notice. They're yelling now.

Roman takes out his phone, pointing at the screen.

Jake pulls his from his pocket too, swiping over the screen. Then he gives Roman a good hard push.

This is my moment…

I creep out, staying down and climb into the car on the passenger's side. Crawling over the console, I slide into the driver's seat.

For a moment, I close my eyes, trying to remember my cousin's lessons.

Push the brake, hit the start button.

The car turns over, coming to life. With a surge of triumph, I press the D button and let my foot off the brake and the car lurches forward.

I give a little scream as I grip the wheel in both hands and hit the gas…