Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Nia

Jake runs his hands over every square inch of my skin, not missing a single crack or crevice.

I'd be embarrassed but I'm too satisfied.

Dimly, I wonder what just happened. It's like every reservation, every inhibition fell away the moment his thumb skimmed over my nipple.

I can admit that I've been dying to have a man touch me. I just didn't want any of the other complications.

After everything with Toni, I've been afraid to date, frightened of giving a man power. But with Jake…

It all just fell away.

The heat between us burned the fear, turning it to ash and dust that blew away as the fire of passion blazed.

I know what happens with fire like that. It consumes everything. I'm not a complete idiot. But I also don't know how to make it stop.

Because after two orgasms, my body is humming again at the feel of his hands .

Growing up, I heard the rumors about my mother. They called her a siren. A woman of intense passion and skill. And those are the nice words.

I was too young to know if it was true. She was just my mother.

I know that Toni was completely infatuated with his wife. Jewelry, flowers, lavish vacations. Until it all came crashing down.

I can only guess that he was devastated by her betrayals. Part of me even understands. But that doesn't excuse what he did to her, or to me.

Jake's chest presses to my back, his hands are on my belly. "You drifted away there for a minute."

I shake my head. "Sorry. Just thinking."

"About?"

I nip at my lip. It's one thing to decide to let Jake give me mind-blowing orgasms. I've never trusted a man before and I'm just going to go with the fact that I've let my guard down when it comes to being physical.

But trusting my family's enemy with family secrets…I don't know that I'll ever be ready to go there. I can't forget how we got here.

"Nothing," I answer.

"Nothing."

"The usual…" I look over my shoulder at him as he holds my hips in his hands. This is the part where I have to be very careful.

"Usual?"

"Wondering whether or not I should have let my kidnapper touch me like that."

His brows lift as he squeezes my hips tighter. "Too late for regret."

His hands slide up to my waist and they nearly span the entire way round. I've always had a small waist, a real hourglass figure.

Does Jake like that? I banish the thought. This is about making him relax, creating enough room for me to escape. Maybe.

I flex my hips. Pushing back into his pelvis. "You're right. Way too late."

"You could drive a man mad, you know that?" He pulls my ass tighter into the cradle of his hips .

"Really, Daddy?" God, I love calling him that. It makes my pussy ache every time.

He rumbles in my ear. "We need to talk about that."

"Don't tell me you don't like it?" I whisper out, my voice breathy, which is no act. How can I want him again?

"It has its charm and we both know there is some truth there. That I am not your kidnapper, I'm your protector."

The words cause a tingle that touches every nerve ending in my body. My protector. That would require a different kind of trust that I don't know I could give. Still, I'm tempted. I'm ready to admit that.

"Jake."

He kisses that spot just under my ear. "Earlier, you said that Toni wasn't your father."

I stiffen. Shit. Did I share that?

I was so hot in the moment. I knew I shouldn't play this game. He's got so much more experience than me and I am clearly losing if I'm sharing details like that.

"I just meant…"

"Considering your mother and my brother had an affair?—"

I gasp, turning toward him. "What?"

His mouth thins. "They had an affair. It's what got him killed."

My eyes blink several times. Toni killed his brother? Is that why I'm here? Jake said it was because Toni was attacking their women, but these things always have a beginning.

I've paid attention long enough to know that. Nearly every aggressive act I've witnessed is the tenth, eleventh, twelfth in a long line of acts that have created deep wounds.

I swallow down a lump. "Your brother was killed?"

"Gunned down in the street. His son Leo was with him. It was Leo who held him as he bled out."

I don't really know Leonard Kincaid, I've only seen him from afar a few times. "I'm sorry for Leo," I say, but emotion is clogging my throat. Because I know all about watching someone you love die.

But that memory is the reminder of where placing your faith in the wrong man can take a woman .

So I push my sympathy back down, drawing several deep breaths. It's like I pick up the pieces of a suit of armor and slowly, I put each piece back on, hardening myself, putting my feelings away.

He studies my face, his head cocking to the side. "No one should have to watch that kind of shit."

"No, they shouldn't." I push away from the wall I've been leaning against, shuffling around him to get out of the shower. I don't want to be this close to him anymore. My insides are turning dead again, my emotions closing like turning off a faucet.

But his hand shoots out, grabbing my waist. I shrink away, a gut reaction. I've gone into full duck-and-cover mode.

"Hey," he whispers, his hand softening but not letting go. "What's going on?"

"I want to get out of the shower," I huff out, my voice tight. "I need some space…I…"

"I'm not going to hurt you." His fingers gently brush my skin. "I promise. Protect. Help. Satisfy. Apply those words to me."

It's very tempting, but so dangerous.

"Enemy," I return. "Make sure to add that one."

His jaw goes granite-hard. "I am your father's enemy, but I am not yours."

"You took me, Jake. Like the pawn that I am." And then I twist away. He lets me go this time and I step out of the shower, wrapping myself in one of the towels.

Tears prick at my eyes as I wrap my arms tighter about myself. I'm not even sure what just happened. Why I suddenly feel so vulnerable. Unsafe.

"You're not a pawn, sweetheart. I took you off the board. You get to go be whatever you want. Stay here, be my wife. Go and start a whole new life."

My shoulders deflate and one of the tears I'd felt pricking at the back of my eyes slips down my cheek. He sees it and wipes the little bit of water away with the pad of his thumb.

If there is one thing I've felt with Jake, it's been cared for. I'm not sure what changed in the shower, but the gentle touch reminds me of why I grew comfortable in the first place. But it also helps me focus on the moment. I lost that feeling. "What's with all the questions about my mother? About Toni?"

His head cocks to one side. "Your mother. My brother. While I like you calling me Daddy, I'd be less fond of uncle."

My eyes go wide, and I gasp in a breath. Because. Yeah. That's a really valid reason to be asking about my mother.

"Your brother is not my father," I whisper and then I flick my blonde hair over my shoulder. "My mother's a brunette. All of the Kincaids have dark brown hair."

"So does Toni." He reaches for the wet strands, letting them slip through his fingers. I swallow down a lump because he's hit the very heart of it.

It seems dangerous to tell my father's enemy that I'm not actually the daughter of the man he wants to hurt.

But honestly, I'm bad enough at this game that I don't know how it might come back at me. Will it make me less valuable? Would he let me go? Or just throw me away? "Yep. Toni has dark hair too."

"My brother wasn't your mother's first affair."

It's the tone of his voice. It's changed. Even with his hands on me, it's grown harder, developed an edge. I don't like it. "If you want a detailed account of her sexual conquests, I was a child. I wouldn't know."

"I'm not looking for a list, Nia. I just…" But I turn again, starting for the bedroom. I can feel more tears welling in my eyes.

"I look like her, you know." I toss over my shoulder. He knows that Toni beats me up. I'll let him decide if that means Toni loves me more or less. But I'm done talking about this. I'm done talking to him.

And that thing we did this morning. Pretty sure we're done with that too.

Which is a shame. As a girl who has always been caged, when Jake was touching me, I've never felt freer.