Chapter 29

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Kim

I don't cry in the car as Mason drives me to the airport. I don't cry even when Luke appears at my side at my gate.

"What are you doing here?" I whisper, my eyes darting from him to the flight attendant behind the desk.

"Anthony attacked you, or have you forgotten?" he says with a frown. "You think we'd leave you vulnerable in the airport?"

I frown too. Because he has a point, but it also feels a little like I'm a prisoner. Am I really walking away from Leo when his cousin accompanies me? "And if I decide not to marry Leo?"

Luke shrugs. "Not sure I'd blame you. Leo can be a real prick."

The fact that I want to defend Leo is telling.

But I don't. Because I'm about to get on a plane to Minneapolis where I have to tell my mom that I've been knocked up, and the guy who did it killed my dream to be a ballerina.

But the words fall flat.

Is that even still my dream? Was it ever mine or was it actually my mother's? I didn't feel that much disappointment that I couldn't go. Just that Leo had betrayed me.

Not that Leo's behavior is excused on a technicality. He didn't have knowledge of any of this, nor did he know that I'd become pregnant.

How can I trust a man to be a good father and potential husband when he acted so selfishly?

Luke is in the seat next to me, his eyes closed. "I swear, I can hear the gears grinding in your head."

"What am I going to tell my mom about you?"

"Don't tell her anything. I'll stay nearby where I can keep an eye out without being seen."

"How long are you staying?"

"Until you go back to Vegas, or the Italians are neutralized and not a threat to you."

I cock my head as I look at his profile. I can see the family resemblance. "What was Leo like before his father died?"

"Before he got killed, you mean?" Luke frowns. "He always had a temper. Runs in the family, but he was happy, you know? Sure of himself. But after his dad's death…he fell into real darkness."

When Charlotte lost her dad, she developed OCD that had only just lessoned since she'd met Mason. It was the security he provided that had finally allowed Charlotte to relax and let go.

"Is that why Charlotte's afraid of Leo? I know they went out a few times. Did she see that darkness?"

Luke looks at me. "Charlotte didn't tell you?"

I shake my head. We both like to play things pretty tight to the chest. It's one of the reasons we work so well as friends.

Luke scrubs at the back of his neck. "Mason and Leo were at odds for a long time. Leo was looking for reasons to lash out and Mason is so rock solid, he made a good target. Mason doesn't flinch and he took a lot of Leo's anger. But when Charlotte became involved…"

I think I understand. Leo's anger at Mason spread to Charlotte, only my friend isn't rock solid. She's fragile.

"It was never about Charlotte, though. Leo never cared about her. He just wanted another reason to really hit Mason hard. I think he was angry that Mason wasn't more emotional about the loss of their father. And that Mason kept it together when Leo fell apart."

I turn forward, thinking back to that night in the club when Leo came in blustering about my dancing.

This whole time, I have to be honest, I've been wondering why Leo would want me. I believed my stupid ex, that I wasn't worth much.

But suddenly, I realize that I don't let Leo get into that space where he loses it. I pull him back. Maybe it's by kicking him in the shin, or by hugging him.

Even in our bedroom this morning. He pulled it back…

I sit up straighter, feeling valued. Feeling worth something. I like helping people, I always have. And Leo might need me as much as I need him.

Luke and I take most of the rest of the flight in silence.

He rents a car after we land and drives me to my mom's apartment.

It's worse than the last time and I stare at it wincing. "Jeez," I softly whisper under my breath, wondering what Luke thinks about her place.

He's scanning the street. "Leo is not going to like this at all. We're going to have to move your mom."

I turn to Luke, my mouth opening. "Your protection extends to my mom?"

"Well, you'll come to visit, won't you?" Luke says, stepping out of the car to come open my door.

He does, helping me out before he grabs my bag. "You want to go anywhere, you call me."

I take the bag from his hand with a nod. He holds the handle, not releasing the bag. "What do you think you're going to do about Leo?"

I shrug. "He scared me this morning."

Luke gives a nod. I appreciate that he doesn't try to convince me of anything. "Growing up, Leo was my best friend. Still is."

"Even the past few years?"

"They're the exception. Not the rule. And honestly, he's coming back. I see it. If somebody shot my dad right in front of me, I'm not sure how I'd handle it either."

"Oh," I whisper. How come no one told me that part? That Leo was there? How would I deal with watching my mom die like that?

Luke lets my bag go and I start for the door. Luke watches me make my way to the front door with its four bells. I know my mom is in apartment C and I ring the bell, hearing her footsteps on the stairs in the house.

She opens the door, opening her arms wide. I step into her embrace, my insides unwinding.

It makes me think of Leo. He doesn't get to have this. No one loves you like a parent…except for maybe a spouse.

I wave to Luke and then step inside, the stale smell of the hall curling my nose.

My mom brings me up the stairs into her place.

There are boxes everywhere, and the furniture can't disguise chipped and cracked plaster.

"That's some hardware you're wearing," my mom says as she steps into the kitchen, immediately opening the fridge to pull out food.

"Hardware?"

She gives my hands a pointed look.

I plunk down into one of her kitchen chairs. "I'm technically engaged."

"Technically?"

I look down at the diamond which catches the light even in the single bulb that hangs over my mom's table.

"Can I ask you a question?"

She stops chopping lettuce to turn to me. "Sure."

"Did my dad know you were pregnant?"

I see my mom swallow. "He did."

A dull pain radiates through me. "So, he chose not to love us?"

My mom turns back to the cutting board, grabbing a tomato to slice. "We were both young. He was going to college. I…"

"Did he ever call? Ask?" I fiddle with the ring.

"A few times."

"Ever give you money?"

"No," my mom sighs. "He married, started a family of his own."

"I see." I don't. Wasn't I his family?

"Why all these questions now?"

"I'm pregnant, mom." It's easier to just put it out there and as nervous as I am for her response, I feel better for pushing the words out.

"And your boyfriend proposed?" She goes back to the fridge, pulling out some chicken.

"He did," I answer with a deep breath. I don't want to tell her about the ballet, or about Leo's questionable lifestyle. Instead, I focus on myself. "But marrying would mean never being a ballerina, I think." I thought giving up that dream would hurt more. But it doesn't at all.

My mom stops making sandwiches, sliding into the chair across from me. "And what do you want?"

"Leo and I haven't been dating that long." I know I didn't answer. "What if he's not the right guy for me?"

"The fact that he asked is a major point in his favor."

I nod. Because my mom is right.

And barring calling the ballet when the two of us had known each other for all of a few hours, he's been nothing but supportive since.

I wince as I think that. "You're not upset that I won't get into a major dance company?"

My mother shakes her head. "Of course not. Did you go to college to be a dancer?"

"No."

"I assumed you had different dreams when you chose UNLV."

"But all you ever talked about was my potential." I'm staring at her, and she has the decency to wince.

"I wanted you to be more than me, Kim. More than this," she waves her hand at her derelict place. "Comfortable. Happy. I don't care if you're a dancer, a teacher, an administrative assistant. I just wanted you not to struggle the way I did."

My heart breaks a little. Because Leo definitely takes the financial struggle out of my life. "How do you know a guy is right for you?"

My mom shakes her head. "You're asking me? I'm not exactly an expert."

I smile, my chin dipping as I get up from the chair to finish making our sandwiches. "Right."

"But I think you pick the guy that makes you feel best about you."

I pause over those words because I don't have to think much to know that no man has ever made me feel more valued and treasured than Leo. And no man has ever made me feel so needed either.

My phone dings where it sits on the table and I glance back, seeing Leo's name.

I pick it up, swiping the phone open, but the message makes me gasp out a breath…