15. Chapter 15

Chapter fifteen

M y pulse skittered.

My heart lurched.

Abort, abort, abort.

He found out. He found out! He's seen it. He's going to freak out. I'm screwed, I'm screwed, I'm screwed.

I was so certain at that moment that I'd somehow inadvertently found his limit. That there was no way he'd be able to see the collage for what it was—a declaration of affection. Instead, he'd see it like Harold did.

He'd think I was a creep.

He'd be done with me.

I'd have to move.

Why hadn't I thought of switching my screen over before I came here? I was a planner. How could I have been caught so horribly off guard? Oh god. Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god. Cameras were one thing—but collecting and using the photos? That was something else entirely.

"Don't blow your stack, love," Felix grinned .

"Don't blow my…what?"

"Your stack. You know? Have a conniption?"

I blinked, cocking my head again. Him and his weird phrases again.

"It's cute," Felix said, still grinning. "Your little…collage thing. I suppose I didn't know what you'd do with the pictures you were taking, but I…like it."

"It's…cute?" I blinked, my brain officially broken. It was very clear that I had taken quite a few of these pictures without his consent. And instead of creepy, he was calling me cute ? I squinted at him, flummoxed. Sure, I hadn't wanted him to think I was creepy—but I was seriously beginning to question his sanity.

My pulse raced.

My belly flipped.

Maybe we were even better suited for one another than I'd thought.

" Yes ," he laughed, nuzzling my bicep with a happy hum. "It's cute. You must really like me, huh?"

My cheeks flamed, my head spinning. I scoffed, but I knew he didn't believe me. I didn't even believe me. " You ? Not likely."

"Because I'm not special," he hummed, eyes dancing with mirth.

"Exactly."

Felix kissed my bicep, once, twice, three times. The same biceps he'd complimented the first time we were together. I flexed, and he hummed, nuzzling into the hard muscle happily, almost like he'd been wanting to do that for years.

Then his kisses climbed, up, up, up. Over my shoulder, across my trapezius, and up my neck. His breath puffed tantalizingly against the shell of my ear as his body hovered carefully against mine.

"You know…" Felix said, lips fluttering against my skin.

My cock throbbed.

When I glanced down, I was mortified to see it pushing rather pointedly against the seam of my pants, thick and needy. I surreptitiously tried to shift my laptop over it, so that Felix wouldn't see.

"In case you forgot, I like how obsessed you are with me." Felix's voice was a throaty purr. He kissed the shell of my ear, and I whined, unable to help it. It was the second time he'd said something along those lines, and this time, I was inclined to believe him.

"Oh."

I tried to think about chaste things. Tried to calm the beast inside me that ached to grab him and pull him right into my lap. I wasn't sure what to do with him once I had him there—but god. My dick hurt. I just…wanted to rub it on him a little.

Was that really so bad?

Felix's slippery tongue slid along my ear and I whined again, hips jerking up, searching for something to fuck .

"Take whatever pictures you want, Marshall," Felix said, licking a cool slick trail behind my ear where he settled, his teeth worrying the skin of my throat. "I promise I don't mind."

"Nnng," I gasped out, tipping my head to give him more room. Slick and tantalizing, he flicked his tongue needily against my throat—like a kitten would lap at a bowl of milk.

Then suddenly, he was gone.

I blinked my eyes open, and Felix was on the opposite side of the couch. His eyes were wide. His lips were pressed into a flat line. And he was staring at my throat like it was taunting him. His throat bobbed, and I panted, staring at him with mirrored hunger.

From a safe distance, Felix's gaze trailed over my body appreciatively. His hands flexed into fists. When I glanced from his broad shoulders, down his supple chest, to his tiny little waist, I groaned .

It wasn't fair.

The bones in my hands practically creaked as I squeezed them into fists, struggling to control myself. Struggling not to toss my laptop to the floor and shove him into the leather, inexperience be damned.

"Let's cool down, yeah?" Felix said, voice rough. There was a noticeable bulge in his pants, and I ached. I ached, and ached, and ached .

I wanted to yank his pants off and taste him.

Wanted to lick up the salt and cum, and make him sob .

"Marshall," Felix's voice was a gravelly soft warning. "My eyes are up here."

"I know." I jolted, surprised by how low my own voice had gotten. I hardly recognized it. It was like the beast inside me had risen to the surface and taken over entirely.

I gritted my teeth, sucking in a steadying breath.

It was difficult, but I managed to tear my eyes away from Felix's cock. My gaze dragged upward, ravenously taking in every gorgeous, provocative inch of his tiny, compact body.

"You make it so difficult to be a gentleman," Felix said, his lovely, pointy teeth flashing. "And I already have a hard enough time not losing control when you're here."

I knew what he meant, so I didn't push.

My own control was hanging by a thread even thinner than the yarn he'd been using earlier.

Doing my best not to defile him with my gaze anymore, I forced my eyes away, looking for something distracting. My gaze fell on the cats again—and blearily, I tried to refocus.

"Is Tiffany a…calico?" I asked, curious. I had no idea if "calico" was even a breed. Only that I'd heard the name here and there over the years, and was desperate to think about anything other than fucking Felix into the couch. When I twisted back to look at him, Felix shook his head. He stretched his legs out, his hats hung up on the wall on his side of the couch. He hadn't even put one on today. Not once .

Felix's eyes were soft as he reached a hand out. The cat wandered closer, Tiffany's lovely—awful, I mean, awful —head pushing into his palm. "Tortoiseshell actually."

"Tortoiseshell," I repeated, storing that information for later.

I shut my laptop, figuring it was time for me to head home.

Mostly because my cock would not go down—and I was not ready to cross that line yet. Or embarrass myself further by pointing my dick at Felix for the rest of the night. Besides…it was getting late.

I hadn't gotten to tongue him—or touch his ass.

But he'd certainly tongued me.

So I was calling the night a win.

Later, which was apparently the next day, when I was Googling cats and how to care for them—I had Tiffany's picture up on my phone for inspiration. Harold walked by, because of course he did—it was Thursday. He peeked over my shoulder at the screen, head cocked to the side.

"Ah, a calico," he hummed, leaning over my shoulder to get a better look. "Cute."

" Tortoiseshell , you bitch." I sniffed .

Harold laughed, slapping my back affectionately. "This the famous cat?"

"One of them." Flipping through the forty or so pictures I'd taken last night for research, I showed him a picture of Dolly.

Harold looked at me with a peculiar expression, but I didn't notice.

Staring at the two cats gave me an idea for my next date with Felix, however, so it ended up not being a waste of time after all.

My own discomfort was well worth it when the following Thursday—after I'd done some more extensive research—we arrived at our destination and Felix's eyes went wide with wonder.

"A cat cafe?" He asked, flabbergasted. "What does that mean?"

Proudly, my chest puffed up as I held the door open for him. I'd worn my favorite sweater vest— a sacrifice, as you can probably guess, as cat hair and fancy sweaters did not mesh well. Actually…perhaps they meshed too well. If the wiggly, stubborn hair that never fucking came out after it had snuck into the grain of the fabric was any indication.

I'd wanted to look my best because I was bound and determined to touch Felix's ass tonight.

Over clothes, you whore.

I had thus far been unsuccessful in my mission, but that was going to change .

Felix was dressed like he normally was, a soft pastel sweater and crisp trousers. The only difference was the fact his bare ankles were showing above his leather loafers. No show socks, what a slut.

That little strip of bare skin made me weak-kneed every time I saw it. The entire drive I'd been panting after him, gaze flicking down over and over, spying on the skin for later appreciation.

The inappropriate looks didn't stop. In fact, they only grew more frequent over the span of the next two hours—as we sipped coffee and sat amongst a harem of frisky, furry beasts. Every time one touched me, I jumped, and Felix laughed, seemingly as delighted by my antics as he was the cats.

We were the only couple there. Which I knew would be the case, as once again, I had bought out the cafe for privacy.

Only the best for Felix.

Winnie said I was ridiculous—seeing as he'd been fine when we'd gone to the fair. But I was nothing if not thorough. And besides…I had…maybe—a lot of money. Okay, fine. I was loaded. That's what happens when you become CFO in your twenties and put all your money into stocks.

I didn't mind spending my small fortune on Felix.

Hell, I wasn't going to spend it on myself.

Aside from my wardrobe and my Mercedes, I rarely spent money at all.

Most of it went toward Christmas, and even then, I was never exorbitant. My sisters had always been the kind of people that valued quality time and handmade gifts over money. Which was incredibly frustrating, as I didn't like to offer my time—and I hated getting my hands dirty with anything but blood. Which I suppose…was the point.

Probably.

Anyway—

There was a mangy cat that sat in one of the ridiculous boxy enclosures in the corner of the cafe. The woman who worked the desk informed us that they were called "cat igloos" and I was…morbidly fascinated.

He was skinny and weak, with a patchy pelt and large brown eyes. He reminded me of some of the barn cats that had wandered free around the farm when I was a child. There was a wild, wicked look to him—almost feral, though still skittish. Felix tried to coax him out multiple times to no avail.

Unfortunately, the one and only time I beckoned him closer—to try to help, obviously, not because I wanted to touch the cat—he'd come immediately. Felix was so delighted he practically danced next to me, vibrating happily as he watched enraptured as the small cat sat his bony ass right down in my lap and started to purr.

"He's got good taste," Felix hummed, grinning at me from where he sat cross-legged on the other side of our small, round table. He'd barely touched his coffee and I'd been the one to eat his croissant. He was going to waste it. I wasn't sure why I'd bought it in the first place when I knew that.

"He does?" I blinked, holding stock-still .

"You've got a lovely lap, Marshall." Felix blinked, faux-innocently, the cad. "If I was that size, I don't think I'd ever leave it." His voice was a slow, sweet purr. Even sweeter than the little thing buzzing on my lap. His damn ankles mocked me, and I swallowed, my cock threatening to jerk to life.

"You're such a whore," I told him immediately, cheeks flushed.

Felix cackled, head tossed back in delight.

"You've been waiting all night to call me that, haven't you?" I glared at him, eyes narrowed. "You keep staring at my ankles like I'm walking around naked."

"Because you are."

"Huh," Felix blinked, head cocking to the side. His eyes were dancing, so I knew he was teasing, even though he really was a slut with his damn ankles out like that. "I thought I was wearing clothes?" He plucked at his very nice, very soft sweater thoughtfully.

"You're ridiculous," I scoffed unhappily, the cat still purring in my lap.

"You're the one that's getting hot and bothered because I've got my ankles out."

I scoffed again, cheeks beet red.

"Just imagine if next time we go out, I decide to wear shorts ."

"Don't tease."

"You'd see my knees, Marshall. I don't know if you could handle that. "

"I bet you don't even own a pair of shorts," I countered—because the idea of seeing Felix's knees was definitely going to make me hard. Which was not something I wanted to be when I had a mangy cat in my lap.

Felix was entertained.

I was not.

I returned my focus to the creature using me as a cushion, desperately willing my cock to behave. The damn thing had been dormant for ninety percent of my life. Why'd it have to wake up now? I wish I had an off-switch for my libido. Though, realistically, it wasn't bound to do shit. Because if I had an off-switch, that meant I had an on-switch too—and I was certain Felix would be constantly flipping it, just because he was a little shit who liked to watch me squirm.

Stop thinking about your libido, Marshall.

Cats.

Think about the cats.

Unsure what to do with my hands, I sort of—hovered them over him—till Felix coaxed me into petting the damn beast.

The moment I touched him, something clicked into place inside me. The part of me that had always loved the desperate and weak.

And I…well.

I took him home.

Even though he quite effectively cock-blocked me, and instead of getting to touch Felix's ass, we spent an hour shopping online for cat things together .

I tried to rationalize it.

Cats were useful beasts, surely. They ate…mice, didn't they? Not that I had a mouse problem—but still. Mice. Yes. That was why I took him. Not because he was ugly and old and had a knick in his ear.

Not because he hated everyone but me.

Not because he needed me.

No.

That would be ridiculous and sentimental—and I was neither of those things.

Which turned out not to be true at all, because the next time Felix and I went out—a few days later—I took him to see a meteor shower inside our local botanical garden.

There were lights that lit the path that led through groves of fickle flowers, the rich scent of pollen permeating the air. It was a bee's paradise, and yet…Felix's eyes never left the starry night sky above.

He wore his hat, as he had for all of our dates out. No shorts, thank God. I could not be held responsible for what I would've done if Felix had flashed me his knees.

When I reached out and pulled his hat off his head, he didn't fight me. He just laughed, eyes crinkling. Then he cuddled into my side to hide behind my bulk.

There were only a few other couples that dotted the garden, so it wasn't like we were totally surrounded. Still though, I curled protectively around him, blocking him from view so he could focus on the meteors above without worrying about prying eyes.

I wasn't sure what it was about being observed that bothered Felix so much.

I'd always known he was hiding something—hell, two somethings now.

But this was…well, this was different.

I had a feeling his murders and his reluctance to be seen had nothing to do with each other.

This was our…fifth date? Sixth? If I counted that time I'd brought him "lunch" at ten p.m. on my way to bed.

Which meant…maybe we'd been dating long enough I could ask?

Bolstering myself forward, I took a steadying breath. Felix was still staring at the stars, so tiny, but perfect as I curled around him. Snaking a hand around his back, I gently, slowly slid it lower—lower—lower.

It took strength to ask, when I'd told myself I wouldn't.

But…things were different now, right? This wasn't like the first time I'd been in his house. There was no body to burn. There was no blood to clean up. We were…something, weren't we? And "somethings" were supposed to be able to talk to each other, right?

Felix had told me that his secrets were all that he had, and while I understood that, had I not earned at least a little trust?

I'd been patient.

I could keep being patient.

But I just… wasn't sure when it would be time to cross that line. If I never asked, would Felix ever speak? He wasn't the best at offering truths unprompted—or at all. Was I supposed to initiate this? I had a feeling I was. Just like I suspected I was supposed to initiate sex between us.

I was aching for it.

Which was odd to admit.

But damn.

I wanted him so fucking badly.

Perhaps speaking came first? Emotional intimacy. Maybe Felix was like me. Maybe he didn't feel comfortable crossing the physical finish line before we'd reached a certain point emotionally. Which meant I needed to suck it up, buttercup, and ask him.

So I did.

"Why do you hide?" I asked, face pressing into his buttery soft hair as my fingers toyed with the hem of his sweater. I was only one solid drag from grabbing his ass for the first time, and it taunted me. Though, I quickly forgot about it as soon as the question slipped free and I waited, with bated breath, for Felix to reply.

I worried he'd brush me off like he had before. I thought he'd deflect, or lie, or pretend like I was making things up—like his hats and his glasses weren't shields from the general population.

But he didn't.

Instead…he gave me a brilliant, beautiful gift .

The most beautiful gift I'd ever received.

Better even, than the time my dad gave me my own hacksaw for Christmas.

Felix told me the truth.

"I used to be quite well known. I'm worried about being recognized," Felix said honestly. "I used to be a lot more…concerned about it? But time has passed and people have started to forget." I blinked, surprised. It was strange—because truthfully I had recognized him. The moment I'd seen him without his hat and glasses, there'd been something about him that struck a chord with me.

I still hadn't figured out quite what it was.

However, it was now evident that I'd been correct to find him familiar.

"One day my exile will end," he said softly, the perfect size where he settled into my arms. The longer I held him, the warmer he became. His eyes were full of stars as he stared up at me, the light show reflected within them. "I'll walk the streets like you do—" He gestured at the other couples that had begun to move, their heads tipped up like his was. "Like they do. I'll stay home, not because I have to, but because it is my sanctuary." Felix's voice was soft.

The air tasted like rose petals.

His hair smelled like lemon, and I wanted him.

I wanted him so badly I could feel it aching in my very bones.

"I'll be forgotten," he added as the meteors danced above, sparkling and bright, but not as bright as he was. "And my invisibility will be my freedom as surely as it will mean I've finally died."

I didn't know what that meant.

I didn't think I was supposed to.

So instead of asking more questions, I told him a truth of my own.

"I've never seen a star that shines as bright as you do," I admitted, and it was the scariest thing I'd ever said.

Felix hadn't put his hat back on.

He didn't hide from me.

He just…smiled.

His eyes shone, and I thought…if I could have this—

I would give up anything.

I would do anything.

If I could have him, I'd be whole.