21. Grace

Chapter twenty-one

Grace

T hese guys were giving me whiplash, I swear. I didn't know what to expect from one minute to the next. After the fight in the living room, I thought it would be safer to stay downstairs that night. The whole day with Jesse had been perfect. Like the date I'd always wanted to go on. I thought maybe… there had been a moment when we got home, just the two of us, I thought maybe he'd try to kiss me. And boy, had I wanted him to.

He was the perfect gentleman though, my dimpled knight in shining armor. My blood was on fire when I hopped in the shower that evening. I needed to wash the salt off my skin and try to salvage my hair. I'd never been a fan of violence, but the way he'd taken out those men so effortlessly, grinning like it was just a game to him… An ache between my thighs made my knees shake, and I turned the water down to cold to calm the whirling thoughts in my head. I didn't need anything more complicated, I just wanted…

I didn't know what I wanted. That was half the problem.

I was shivering, my fingers nearly blue by the time I turned off the water and grabbed my towel. My skin looked nearly human now, no longer translucent, thanks to a day outside. I braided my hair to keep it out of my face and pulled on the jersey I'd borrowed from Jesse before heading to my little bed.

It felt weird, sleeping down here. I considered leaving the door open, to reassure myself that it wouldn't be locked when I woke up, but thought better of it. At least, if it was closed, I could hear if someone came in.

The bed was definitely not as comfortable as the ones upstairs, and I tried not to pout about it, reminding myself about the strings attached to staying upstairs. The really sexy, annoyingly charming strings.

Another pang of need hit me, and a small whimper escaped my throat. I rolled onto my back and brushed my hand up my thigh, teasing myself wistfully, imagining it was someone else's hand. Faces flashed behind my eyes, the four men currently tormenting me. I groaned and snatched my hand away in frustration.

No! Jesus, I was not some lovelorn spinster, running into the arms of the first group of men I met. I've made it this long without comfort, why start wanting it now?

Maybe because now I know what I'd been missing…

Fuck! I rolled over onto my stomach, burying my face into my pillow, snarling in frustration. I swore my entire core was molten at this point. Since when was my pussy such a hussy-

"Anders!" I snapped, sitting up and glaring at the fake mirror. I mustered up a little more strength and sent a burst of light toward the mirror, like I'd done with the thug at the beach. I had just panicked there, reacting on pure… instinct, I guess? I had thought he might calm down or, at least, get distracted long enough for Jesse to take him out. But he'd dropped to the ground in a blissed-out haze, like I'd drugged him.

I waited, watching the door for a few moments. Maybe I'd just been imagining things, my own lust-filled brain a byproduct of hanging out with annoyingly hot men for the last couple of weeks. Well, now I felt really stupid. I fell back on the bed, rubbing my hand over my eyes.

The door clicked as it opened, and I jolted up, eyes wide, watching as Anders stumbled into the room. "I knew it!" I cried, but the victory died in my throat when I caught the look of panic in his eyes. "What's wrong?"

"The fuck did you do to me?" he demanded, stumbling as his foot caught on the carpet.

"Oh, oh crap!" I winced and climbed off the bed, approaching him hesitantly. He swatted me away when I reached for him, snarling as he swayed, clutching his head.

"You did something to me, what did you do?" he snapped, his voice breaking as he dropped to his knees in front of me. "Nothing feels right, it's too quiet, everything's too bright," he muttered, rubbing his eyes roughly.

"Look, it's just my, uh, power? But more concentrated? I don't know, I'm sorry!" I frowned. "But you started it, in my defense."

"I was teasing you! You fucking- you did something to my brain!" he replied sharply, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"It's not supposed to hurt, it's only ever made people feel good…" I rubbed my arms nervously, wondering if I should get one of the other guys to help.

"I hate it!" he exclaimed. "Just get it out of me!"

I scowled at him and crossed my arms over my chest. "Ask nicely," I ordered, staring down at him.

He stood so swiftly that my heart nearly leapt out of my chest, towering over me with his hands clenched. I stared up at him, watching his eyes dart from mine to the wall behind me, unable to hold my gaze. I waited, but he didn't move, and finally, his jaw clenched so hard, the muscle in his temple pulsed.

"Please, Kitten, turn it off," he bit out through gritted teeth. I didn't actually know what I was doing, so I just pulled the light back into me like I normally would. It took some effort, but I saw the moment it left him, his muscles sorting themselves back into their rigid positions. He flexed his neck and rolled his shoulders, his jaw still clenched.

"Now leave me alone," I told him sharply, cradling the light in my chest for comfort. He exhaled roughly and met my gaze, longer than he'd ever done before. Swirling in those golden eyes was a pain so raw, it stole the breath from my lungs. What the hell had happened to this man that a feeling of calm could bring him such terror?

"What I did was… inconsiderate. I'm sorry," he muttered, finally dropping his gaze. He was still crowding me, my legs pinned against the edge of the bed, thanks to his closeness.

"Yes, it was," I replied sharply, annoyed. Inconsiderate, creepy, there were a few words for it.

"Why didn't you touch yourself?" Anders asked suddenly, and my face heated up as I sputtered indignantly. "You wanted to, but you stopped, why?"

"That's none of your business!" I exclaimed, and he cocked an eyebrow, refusing to give me an inch of space.

"You are very sexually repressed," he mused, and I glared at him, shoving him backward. Or, I tried at least, it was like he'd grown roots where he was standing, I would've had better luck moving the wall.

"Not everyone is solely driven by their need to get off," I grumbled, my neck starting to hurt from craning to look up at him.

"Of course not. But when the moment allows for it… I'm just surprised, you'll touch yourself while straddling a stranger's chest, but you won't in the privacy of your own room?" Anders asked, frowning. My face was so hot I was sure he could feel the warmth radiating off me.

"Psychoanalyze yourself for a change and let me sleep!" I told him sharply. He was one to talk, he was less than an inch away from me, and I could tell he wasn't the least bit turned on by any of this. Asshole.

"You can't expect to enjoy sex with a partner, if you can't enjoy yourself on your own," he mused, and I took a step back, my ass landing on the bed.

"Anders, I will hit you again if you don't drop it," I warned, but it was an empty threat. My light was fizzling out after the day I had, I didn't think I had enough to zap him again.

"I'm just trying to help. You have amazing potential, but you refuse to acknowledge it," he replied, kneeling on the bed as he loomed over me. It was like being stalked by a puma—one with a doctorate in sex studies. My core throbbed as he moved closer, assessing me with that critical gaze of his. His knee slid between my thighs, and my heart began to pound as I stared up at him, wondering if he would actually try something.

"Maybe it's the virginal mentality paired with a sheltered upbringing," he mused, and once again, I was being mildly insulted.

"Fuck you, Anders!" I huffed, dropping down onto my elbows as he pressed closer, a smile playing on his lips.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of. You just need to shed the idea that being a ‘virgin' is some sort of purity status. Many virgins are sexually diverse otherwise," he replied, and my eyebrows shot up to my hairline.

"You've never had sex?" I blurted out, and he smiled, nodding slowly. "But you and Levy…" I frowned, I guess I'd never actually seen Anders naked, or even aroused for that matter.

"That part of things has never held much sway for me," he replied, glancing away from me. His knee pressed into my thigh, nudging them apart slowly.

"Then what the fuck are you doing?" I asked caustically, looking down at the closeness of our bodies.

Anders grinned, a glint in his eye that I couldn't decipher. "I'm admiring how wonderfully responsive you are," he murmured, dropping his face to mine, enough that his cheek brushed against mine in a featherlight touch.

"You could take care of yourself right now," he whispered, and my breath caught in my throat. "If you prefer to have an audience." His knee nudged my thighs wider apart, and I bit my lip, resisting the urge to arch into him, to close the small space between us.

"No, thank you," I replied primly, clenching my hands at my sides to keep them from venturing lower.

Anders smirked, drawing back abruptly and leaving me painfully alone on the bed. "If you say so." He shrugged and left without another word. I waited until he closed the door before I groaned, pressing the heels of my palms into my eyes.

He is such a goddamn asshole. I rolled over and pushed back the covers, crawling inside and pulling them up around my face. Now I was tired and horny, and, for some reason, insanely curious, thanks to that stupid prick.

I fell into a fitful sleep, wishing I'd gone upstairs with Jesse, or Erik. Even sweet, damaged Levy, who had left me alone after our little… adventure this morning. I was sure he had his reasons, but his rejection still stung, and my chest ached at the memory of it, tempering my need somewhat.

Of course, after all that, it was Anders's face I dreamt of and his body between my thighs as I cried out in ecstasy.