Chapter Thirty-Six

C hapter Thirty-Six

A rna

" B itch, do you need a serviette or a trough?" Marlee bantered as I shoved a handful of buttered popcorn and some red liquorice into my mouth simultaneously. If more people got on board with this flavour explosion, it would make my life better because the looks of disgust I was accustomed to were annoying.

Doing my best to talk around the food, popcorn flew out of my mouth and onto the laptop which sat between us on my bed.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm in a state of mourning and currently I'm in the ‘eating my feelings' stage."

She reached over to lift the bowl of plain chips resting against my leg before laying against my headboard.

"We really don't need to watch this. I can imagine it feels a bit like torture right now?"

"Just because the captain of this god forsaken team broke my heart, doesn't mean I don't still wish him and the stupid team well." The sarcasm dripped from my words half-heartedly and Marlee's laugh bubbled free.

"Lies. You have cheered for the opposition every time they've scored."

"Ugh. I know. I don't really mean it though. I just like a winner and it's clear the Hearts are struggling after last week." I threw another flavour bomb into my mouth and reached for my drink.

Marlee crunched on her chips before she exhaled loudly. "I can't believe you're finally watching football with me, something I have waited fifteen years for, and it's right before you leave me. It's so unfair."

I looked away from the laptop at all the boxes filling my room. I didn't really have a lot left to pack but with all my clothes, it seemed like more than it was. I had already offloaded a heap of books, old bags and shoes to Marls for the neighbourhood centre, leaving only a few boxes of things actually dear to my name. Other than Paul, Marlee and my family – who were not at all coping with my sudden move interstate – no one else knew or would notice my absence.

The call from Greg had been a surprise, yet somehow it felt like destiny, especially when I very nearly didn't answer. He not only refused my resignation, but he had apologised profusely on behalf of the entire company, informed me Darren was no longer an employee of Urban Pulse and then offered me the senior editor position in their Melbourne Office – which I instantly accepted.

Given my life was currently an absolute tornado, the offer was welcomed, as it meant I could escape feeling like I was being dissected anytime I left the house. Additionally, it was a fresh start in a position the CEO said, ‘I earned not only from the phenomenal feature article, but the countless editorials ' I had worked on over the years. It was nice to be recognised, especially by someone who was held in such high regard within the industry itself. It was a small token after the unnoticed hard work I had put in over the years.

Leaving Sydney was not something I ever planned to do and I would be lying if I said I hadn't second guessed the decision more than once over the last five days, but I couldn't stay here. I couldn't be in a city where Andy's face haunted me from every street corner or where the staff at my local cafe knew who I was and that each time I left with my coffee, I also left with a side of broken heart. Our breakup, like every other element of our relationship, had been a media speculation, yet with no comment from either of us, it wasn't confirmed. Paul had been surprisingly wonderful since I told him he would need a new roommate and it wasn't going to be simple to accustom myself to living with someone new. Nevertheless, it was time I took my life by the reins and started to make some decisions, even if that meant taking terrifying risks such as moving away from everything I knew and loved.

"I know. But you're swept up in your bubble of love," I replied. "Plus, think about all the amazing times we will have in Melbourne together. Free accommodation for all the holidays and you've always wanted to watch a match at that big ground down there."

"Mmmm." She said with slight reluctance and my hackles rose. It was time to ask what I had been wondering for months.

"Marls, can I ask you something?" I asked cautiously, thinking through all the times her responses or behaviour made me wonder this very thing.

"Of course."

"Are you happy with Lucas?" Her brow furrowed slightly, her face otherwise remaining impassive but I could tell she was doing her best to keep from showing any emotion.

"What? Where is this coming from?" I noticed the avoidance in both her answer and eye-contact, the contrived pleasantness in her tone. I didn't want to make one of the last times I was going to see her for the near future tense, but if something was wrong, I needed her to know I was always here for her, regardless of how far apart we would soon be.

"I don't know. You just seem different." I looked down at the match still playing, preferring to pretend I was watching rather than ignore the sadness which sat just behind her eyes.

"I'm happy, Arns. We're moving in together. Yeah, he can be a cranky crab sometimes, but who can't? Today is not about me or Lucas though," she said, bumping my shoulder with her own. "It's about how amazing you're going to be in Melbourne. I'm going to miss you so much." She rested her head on my shoulder and I mulled over wanting to grill her further and knowing sometimes, no matter how frustrating it was, I needed to bide my time. I made a mental note to have Queeny speak to her parents as I knew she would do anything for Marls, especially if there was even the slightest inclination that something was amiss.

Maybe I was just projecting my pathetically bruised heart onto her and she was living the relationship dream. Meanwhile, if my heart were a book, it would be in the bargain bin, missing pages, with a title like, ‘ Unlucky in Love '.

"I still can't believe that just over a week ago my whole life was totally different," I pointed at the screen. "Like last match Jay was out there playing and now he's medically retired after taking the fall for ‘ Cocaine Gate '. You couldn't script this if you tried."

"The retirement wasn't entirely shocking though, Arns. He has had some serious concussions over the years so it isn't surprising the doctors were on his back. Your head isn't something to mess around with, you know? But it does seem out of character for him to take the blame for something he had nothing to do with."

"Yeah. I said the exact same thing to him when we spoke. But he was adamant. I always thought he was a bit of a dope but turns out he is incredibly altruistic. Off the record, he told me Jack doing cocaine was a stupid mistake and he had his entire career ahead of him. Said he had some family jewellery business to fall back on and he didn't give a shit about what people thought of him. So, he didn't even seem fazed by the rapid fall from grace that would come. I take my hat off to him."

"He isn't wrong. Jack is a fantastic ball mover and the Hearts are always better when he plays. Sad though. Especially when Jay was an innocent bystander." She reached for her water and I thought about the missed calls I slept through the morning the article was released. Would things have been different if I answered? Was Andy calling for an explanation, allowing me the principle of innocence until he spoke to me or had he already made up his mind and only called to ream me.

Swiftly switching back to rage, I slammed the laptop closed.

"I'm sorry." I said, clearly not sorry at all.

"Yeah, I can imagine it's hard to see him. I still can't believe he didn't even let you explain. Prick."

"He obviously wasn't who I thought he was." I wish I had found out sooner rather than now, when the love was so raw and the exigency to beat someone or something tingled in my fingers. "It's probably for the best. If he could so easily discard what I thought was the real thing, he wasn't the man for me."

She squeezed my hand and stood, a few abandoned chips falling from her lap onto the carpet.

"I wish I could stay all night, but Lucas is going to be here in a minute. I will be back in the morning to take you to the airport, okay?" She grabbed the crumbs from the floor and threw them in the rubbish bin next to my bedside table.

Shuffling off the bed I looked at her before pulling her in for a tight hug.

"My goodness I'm going to miss you, Marls. I can't thank you enough for holding me together this week. And for my whole life." I murmured into her shoulder.

"Oh, please. We both know no one is holding you together. You are the toughest bitch I know. You're going to soar in Melbourne and that imbecile who shall remain nameless, doesn't deserve you. Need me to change my team?"

"Absolutely!" I joked. "From here on out we are following whichever team is versing the Hearts."

Marlee laughed in my ear and I felt my eyes fill with tears, thankful when I heard the familiar lilt of a new notification so I didn't start blubbering. Pulling away I reached for my phone.

"I'll walk you out."

I cleared the notification after seeing it was Felicity and threw the phone onto my bed. "Did I tell you Felicity has been messaging me? It's been –" I paused, contemplating how to describe the interactions with my old colleague thus far. "Different."

"Felicity, as in Pilates arse?" Marlee asked in shock.

"I know right. But I think I may have misjudged her."

"You – misjudge someone – never." Marlee giggled as we walked outside.

"I know, it's very shocking." I joked, knowing full well I was quite fiery and this was not an uncommon thing. "I always thought she was so far up Darren's arse because she wanted the senior editor's position. Turns out he was blackmailing her and when she found out he altered my article she called him out on it. She said he was always undermining me and she worried about losing her job so she tried to stay out of it all. She also said she lodged multiple complaints with HR but they were all intercepted by him which confirms him being able to read mine and Andy's emails." I shrugged, pulling my jacket tighter around my stomach, wondering if the deep chill was the weather, the onset of the flu or the lingering sadness which ached in my bones.

"Wow. I wasn't expecting that but it makes sense he was also manipulating her. Sounds like he was doing plenty of things he shouldn't have. I don't feel even remotely sorry for him."

Lucas arrived and Marlee walked over to the car instantly. She turned to me once she opened the passenger door and I bent down to greet him before standing up and facing Marls. When we hugged, I remembered how much I was going to miss her. The last week had been gut-wrenching as I alternated between staying and going and she played a significant role in my wanting to remain in Sydney. I knew I needed to leave though, and I was hoping that along with the fresh start, I also found the strength to go through at least one day without tears.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning, Arns. Love you."

I smiled and retreated as she hopped into the car, waving through the window as they drove away. Turning and heading back inside I mentally prepared myself to finish packing the rest of my life before my flight tomorrow morning.