Eight

Eight

When brides departed with their new husbands, people gathered to offer gifts—small things like flowers, polished stones, and gold and silver coins.

For me, there was nothing, not even a crowd gathered within High City, though when I turned my head from left to right, I saw people peering through windows and from behind their doors. They were curious but afraid—both of the dark and of Adrian.

We came to the gate where Nicolae was on duty with another guard I did not recognize. I started to smile at him as I passed, because that was what Nicolae usually did when he spotted me. This time, he frowned and cast a dark look at both Daroc and Adrian, then me. His expression hit me in the chest, and I quickly looked away, knowing that he did not understand. He, like my people, did not know why Adrian still lived when I had gotten so close.

As I passed, I heard Nicolae say something under his breath, and I pulled on my reins, halting Midnight.

“Do you have something to share, Nicolae?”

The guard stared at me, and then his gaze flickered to his left, where Daroc and Adrian lingered.

“No, Your Majesty,” he said and bowed his head.

“I would hate to think that you would disrespect me,” I said. “Because that would mean I would have to dismiss you.”

His eyes connected with mine, his jaw clenched.

“With all due respect, Princess, I am beholden to the king of Lara.”

I went rigid, and after a brief pause, I slid off my horse to stand face-to-face with Nicolae.

“It’s Queen to you,” I said, and then I smiled. “Enjoy your last night on guard, solider. I will be sure to send Commander Killian notice of your immediate dismissal.”

I turned from him then, mounted my horse, and guided him past Daroc and Adrian. The two looked at me but said nothing as they followed me into the tree line. Once we were in the woods, I slowed my pace, unsure of where we were going. Adrian had brought a whole army to our border. Where were they?

“Part of the army has continued on to occupy other territories,” Adrian responded, and I wondered what he meant by other territories. Would he continue to Thea next? “A small party waits for us just outside the capitol to accompany us home.”

“Revekka will never be my home,” I said.

Adrian remained quiet.

We continued to where the vampires waited, in a small clearing not far from High City. Only a few remained of Adrian’s army, all mounted upon horses, covered in armor. I recognized only Sorin, Isac, and Miha.

I watched Sorin elbow Isac.

“Look, it’s our queen—the one who stabbed you!”

Miha grinned and Isac glared. “You say that as if I’ve forgotten.”

“I think you do not appreciate the gesture. Who else can say they were stabbed by their queen?”

“Your king,” I said, and the trio exchanged both surprised and amused looks.

Beside me, I felt Adrian’s eyes on me. “I have met my match,” he said.

His comment made me shiver, and I met his gaze, which seemed far too serious. I wasn’t sure Adrian and I were a match for anything but hatred, though I also wasn’t sure he hated me at all.

“We travel until dawn,” Adrian instructed, and as Daroc rode forward, Adrian and I followed while Sorin, Isac, and Miha fell in line behind us. After, the rest of the group joined, which included several vampires dressed in the same feathered, gold armor and mortals, both men and women, who were dressed in regal silk and fur, as if they were not part of an army.

We would travel north through Lara to the border of Revekka. I had not ventured north since I was a little girl. Those territories were beyond the mountain pass, too close to Revekka, and as Adrian’s power had grown and new monsters were born, the visits stopped. Now, only Killian and his soldiers made rounds close to the border near the Blood King’s kingdom.

Despite being with monsters, I was excited to see the villages in the north. They were so far from the castle, they had their own traditions and cultures, but I wondered…would they welcome me?

The wood was dark, but the naked limbs of the trees allowed for a view of the stars, and I found myself watching them, seeking light, mourning that I would not see the sun for a few days.

“Do you miss the sun?” I asked Adrian.

“That is a curious question.” He glanced at me.

“And why is that?”

He was quiet for a moment, and when he spoke, he answered my first question, “I do not miss the sun, not anymore.”

“And what if I miss the sun?”

How bright was the sky in Revekka—what would the sun look like beaming from behind red clouds? Would I even be able to see it?

“Then I will find it for you,” he replied.

Our eyes locked, and I saw a human sincerity in his expression that made my chest and cheeks feel warm. I quickly looked away.

Silence stretched until I noticed a few of Adrian’s soldiers breaking ranks, disappearing into the darkness. My heart picked up pace, wondering what they were doing.

“They are scouting,” Adrian said.

“But we are still in Lara.”

I didn’t see the need to be on guard. Adrian and I had made an agreement, and no matter how angry my people were about the arrangement, they would honor my father.

“Do monsters not lurk in your shadows?” he asked. He was referring to things that lurk in the dark—the strzyga, the virika, revenants, the ker—all creatures that were like Adrian but different in how they appeared and the way they fed upon life.

“Are you not their king?” I retorted, frustrated by his sarcasm.

“I am the king of vampires,” he said. “I am not the king of monsters.”

“There is no difference,” I said.

I did not know Adrian very well, but I could tell my comment frustrated him. That shapely jaw tightened, and I felt triumphant. I’d learned that the true measure of men was how they handled their anger. Would he be like Killian and lash out if I pushed too hard?

“You seem to believe I spawned all dark things,” he said, his voice maintaining that silky quality, and he delivered his words with no hint of frustration.

It was what we were told—that all dark things came from the Blood King. That when he partook of sacred life, the blood that dropped to the earth created monsters.

Beside me, he laughed. “That is a lie.”

“Enlighten me, Your Majesty,” I said.

“I turn humans into vampires,” he said. “But even I have rules. The monsters you know of—the strzyga, the virika, revenants, the ker—they were created by Asha.”

“No,” I said immediately. “The goddess of life would never corrupt it.”

I was not a worshipper of the goddesses, but even I did not think Asha would create such heinous creatures.

“Never forget, my queen, that goddesses are just humans with great power.”

With his comment, he moved ahead to Daroc’s side as if he no longer wished to ride beside me. I watched him, wishing that I could pitch an arrow into his back, but I considered what he said about the goddesses and found that I did not think so differently. There were many others who suffered worse attacks, worse experiences, and yet were far more devout. They wore their hardships like badges of honor and their faith like weapons, and I did not understand it.

I glanced to my left as Sorin meandered up beside me and extended his hand, a piece of dried…something clutched between his fingers.

“What is that?” I asked, eyeing it suspiciously.

“Beef,” he said with a grin. “You want some?”

“Why are you eating beef? Can you eat beef?”

I only knew vampires to sustain themselves with blood. I wondered how long it would be before I witnessed a vampire feed from a mortal, and was not looking forward to the display.

“The mortals seem to love it,” he said, and then he sniffed. “And I can eat anything I want.”

“He’ll throw it up later,” said Isac from behind us.

“It’s disgusting,” Miha added. “But he keeps doing it.”

“Let me live my life,” Sorin snapped, glaring at them. I tried hard not to smile but failed. When Sorin looked back at me, he wiggled the beef stick in my face. “Take it. I know you’re hungry. I can hear it.”

I raised a brow. “Is that another power I should know about? Superior hearing?”

“I’d say yes but even the mortals at the back of the line can hear your stomach growling.”

I frowned. I was hungry, and I hadn’t been able to bring myself to eat dinner this evening, so I took the dried beef and tore a piece off, chewing vigorously. The meat was hard and papery but not unpleasant. I was just glad to have something in my stomach.

“Thank you, Sorin,” I said.

“Of course, my queen.”

We continued for a few hours more, stopping once to water the horses.

Instead of leading the horses to water, the vampires filled buckets for the horses to draw from. I left Midnight’s side, hoping to sink my hands into the cool river, but as I knelt on the bank, a hand clamped down on my shoulder.

“Do not touch the water.”

I looked up into Daroc’s severe face and rose to my feet. With his warning issued and no explanation, he left me.

“Ignore him. He isn’t very polite, though he means well,” Sorin said, coming to stand beside me.

“I think he hates me.”

“He doesn’t, but he is very focused on duty. You are his responsibility. He will take personal offense if you are hurt on his watch.”

“Sounds like you know him very well.”

Sorin raised his brows. “I do. Very well.” Then he pointed to the water. “Animals attract creatures just as humans do, some that live in the water. Alps, in particular, feast upon horses, but they are not picky when they are hungry.”

Alps were creatures that could morph into varying sizes depending on the prey they were hunting. They had frightening, demon-like faces, and their features were large, taking up most of their face—a wide, tooth-filled smile, a large, bulbous nose, dark, endless eyes, and tall, pointed ears.

“I have never heard of alps in Lara,” I said. Commander Killian took these paths with his soldiers; I was certain he had stopped to water his horses as well and never reported attacks.

“You do not have to hear of them for them to exist,” Sorin said.

“I suppose that is true enough,” I said.

It was also frightening, but that was the world we lived in. I stared at the dark water as it shimmered over the rocks beneath rays of moonlight and couldn’t help feeling a little betrayed.

“Allow me,” Sorin said. Retrieving a bucket, he then dipped it into the water.

“How are you able to approach the water?”

He smiled ruefully. “The only blood that pumps through these veins is that which I drain.” I did my best not to cringe, but Sorin caught my discomfort and laughed. “In time, you will come to understand.”

“I beg to differ,” I said.

His smile widened, but he said nothing as he held the bucket for me. I dipped my hands in the cold water, hating how much I mistrusted it after what Sorin had told me. As I pressed cool hands to my heated face, I looked at him.

“How did you come to be part of Adrian’s army?” I asked.

“I have known Adrian since the beginning,” he said.

I wondered what he meant by that. Was he referring to the time of Adrian’s curse? Or before that when he’d been nothing more than a man?

“You did not answer my question,” I said, and this time, when he smiled, it was not as wholesome.

“Nothing gets past you, does it, my queen?”

He looked off to where Daroc and Adrian stood together. My gaze followed, and I noted how Daroc stiffened and glanced toward us.

“Are you…lovers?”

“Daroc and I are two souls,” he said. “One cannot go where the other does not follow.”

“Why do I get the sense you did not choose this life,” I said.

“Mount up!” Daroc shouted suddenly, and I jumped at the abruptness of his voice. I wondered again if all vampires could read minds.

Sorin looked back at me and said, “I chose Daroc. I am happy with that.”

We continued. I’d felt a brief reprieve from my lethargy when I’d dismounted, but the steady sway of my horse made my eyes feel heavy. The next thing I felt was a hand grasping my arm. I jerked and straightened, looking into Adrian’s white-blue eyes.

“I will hold you if you wish to sleep,” he said.

His words sent a shiver up my spine that felt too thrilling.

“I’m fine,” I said curtly and scrubbed my face with one hand. I could not imagine what sort of line I’d be crossing if I agreed to share his horse and sleep in his arms. Sex was one thing—that required no trust and no affection—but this was a level of trust I wasn’t prepared to offer.

He did not argue, and once again, I found myself alone in the procession as I continued—and failed—to fight sleep. It wasn’t until Daroc halted his steed and held up his hand, signaling for the others to follow, that my body awakened, now pumped full of adrenaline. I tugged on my reins, staring into the darkness, feeling unease creep along the back of my neck.

“Attack!” Daroc barked.

“The queen!” Adrian commanded, and he yanked his horse around as if to charge for me. But I was confused. Nothing seemed to be amiss.

Then a fiery arrow cut through the air, lodging in the carriage behind me. Others followed, breaching the curtained window, igniting the interior, and within seconds, it was consumed in fire.

Carriages are targets, I thought just as an arrow whizzed past my face. Another hit my horse near my leg.

“No!”

Midnight neighed and snorted, a mark of her pain. She bucked and then tried to walk, wobbling until she stumbled forward as her legs folded under her. As she hit the ground, people emerged from between the trees—my people, dressed in gray shrouds, bellowing fierce battle cries. Some were armed with weapons, while others carried equipment from their farms—pitchforks and axes, sickles and slashers.

“Stop!” I commanded, but my voice was buried beneath the clash of weapons as my people met the skilled end of a vampire’s sword. The blood sprayed immediately, and I watched in horror as my people were slaughtered by creatures who moved faster and hit harder. I felt helpless, sitting near my horse, unsure of how to proceed. I could not raise my weapons against them. I could not raise them against my husband’s army—not when I was expected to continue this journey to Revekka.

A trio of vampires made an arc around me—Sorin and Isac and Miha. Their movements were controlled, their blades catching each blow aimed at their bodies, and I got the distinct impression they were moving slower than they were actually capable of. I had expected different behavior from them. I’d been told vampires fought with nails and teeth, that they lunged in battle, flying through the air to attack their victims with a viciousness I did not see here.

Were they trying to spare my people?

My gaze shifted to Adrian, who was in the middle of cutting down a man who had an arrow pulled back on his string, but he had no chance to even loose it as Adrian’s blade found a home in the hollow of his neck. A spray of blood followed as he pulled his weapon free. Another arrow raced toward his back, and he twisted, knocking it out of the air, eyes narrowing on the culprit—a smaller man who stumbled back at his approach.

I rose to my feet.

“Stay down, my queen!” Miha ordered.

But I couldn’t. I wanted the bloodshed to stop, and I bolted through their barrier. I was not sure what I really intended to do. Perhaps I thought if Adrian ceased fighting, others would. What I had not expected was the determination of my people to kill me.

No longer guarded by the trio, I became a target.

“The queen!” someone shouted just as a man, one of my own, came toward me, blade overhead. I turned, moving at the last second and letting my knife release into his back. There was a moment when he paused, his body arched unnaturally as he stared, wide-eyed, at me. Once, I’d been his princess, and now I was his murderer. His blade clattered to the ground, and he followed.

I took up his sword in time to face another opponent. The word felt so wrong, to look at the man opposite me as an enemy, and yet as he charged, an ax in hand, that was exactly the side he took. He swung his weapon violently, and as I ducked to miss his attack, I swung my blade out, cutting into his legs. His cry was silenced as I released the knife at my wrist into the bottom of his chin. His blood coated my hand and sprayed across my face, and I shoved him away in horror, blinking through hot tears even as another gripped my hair and yanked me backward. I stumbled and fell, saved only by the knife I was able to release at my wrist to counter a blow aimed for my head.

A large man stood over me, wielding a blade like an ax, swinging down as I rolled away. I reared up, kicking my attacker in the face, and as he released his hold on his blade, I took it and rose to my feet, shoving it through his stomach.

The fight continued like that with my people charging, calling me traitor. Each time I cut down one of my own, a piece of me went with them. My face was wet with tears as I faced a young girl. She could not be any older than me, with the same dark hair, the same dark eyes, the same dark skin.

“Why are you making me do this?” The question tore from my mouth, a devastated demand.

“No one is making you,” she replied. “You chose the Blood King. You are the traitor.”

Those words were an even harder blow, and I took a step back.

“You know nothing of my sacrifice.” My voice was visceral, my hurt and anger so acute, I felt like my skin was on fire. I’d done this to protect them. I’d done this so that they could have some kind of life beyond yesterday’s surrender, and here they were, squandering it all.

“It doesn’t look like sacrifice,” she said. “Queen of Revekka.”

She lifted her blade and charged. My hands were slick with blood and sweat, and my grip on my sword was faulty. I could barely hold the hilt as her blade clashed with mine. Two more blows and my weapon flew from my hands. As triumph flashed in her eyes, I shoved my other hand toward her, losing my knife in her soft stomach. Her eyes widened, her body went slack, and I caught her as she began to fall.

“I’m so sorry,” I said, but even as she stared blindly at the night sky, she spoke, her words harsh.

“If you were truly one of us, you would have killed him.”

Blood dripped from her mouth, and as I settled her upon the ground, she went slack. My body shook, angry. Sitting there on my knees, I gave a frustrated cry and shoved my dagger into the earth beneath me.

The sounds of battle died around me, but I did not rise until Adrian approached.

“Up,” he said, dragging me to my feet.

“We have to bury her,” I said, staring into his blood-spattered face. “We must bury them all.”

I might not abide by the goddesses’ doctrines, but they did, and they deserved the burial rites they’d prayed for. If they were left exposed, they were left to be fed upon, and their souls would never make it to the afterlife.

Then my eyes shifted to the dead littering the road, and a small group of survivors who were now on their knees before the vampires, swords pointed at their throats.

“What are you doing?” I demanded. “Let them go!”

“They have committed treason,” Adrian responded. “They must be punished.”

I understood his inclination to punish, because what they’d done was wrong, but this was different…these were my people. They had a right to their anger.

“You think these are your people, but they are not.”

My brows lowered. “I was born of this land.”

“You will come to find that blood has no bearing on who you become.”

“Adrian, please,” I breathed, but he just stared back, unmoved by my plea.

“I have already spared one life for you.”

My gaze shifted to the few who were left, all glaring back at us. It was clear they considered me the enemy. How had I gone from the savior of my people—you are the hope of our kingdom—to this?

“Daroc,” he said. It was a wordless command.

“No!”

I bolted for them, but Adrian’s arms snaked out, winding across my shoulders and waist. He turned me at the last second before the kill was ordered, and a wet thud followed as the bodies hit the ground in unison.

It was done.

Adrian’s chin had settled in the hollow of my neck, and as he spoke, I felt his breath on my cheek.

“They do not deserve your tears.”

I did not know if I cried for them anymore or if I cried for myself. I thought I’d lost my future the moment I agreed to marry this monster. Tonight, I’d lost my home.

I pushed away from him and whirled. “You didn’t have to do that!”

“If they can attack their princess,” he said, “what is stopping them from attacking their king?”

His words hurt, and it was worse because I knew they were true.

“Come,” he said, placing a hand upon my shoulder. He guided me to his horse, but before I mounted, I turned to look at him.

“You will bury them,” I said. It wasn’t a question.

“It will be done,” Adrian said, taking my face between his hands. “But not by you.”

I stared. “You promise.”

“I promise,” he said.

“Why should I believe you?”

His eyes fell to my lips, and he brushed his thumb against my cheek. “Because I only make promises for you.”

Why me?I found myself thinking as I had so many times over the last two days but said nothing. I’d take his promises now because one day, they might run out.

“Up,” he commanded, and this time, I obeyed. Adrian followed me onto the horse, and I settled against him, cradled by his arms as we took off into the dark. I felt as though my chest were unraveling as I left the souls of my slaughtered people in the hands of my enemies.

Except that the vampires hadn’t been my enemies in that fight.

It had been my own people.

The shock of their anger, of their conviction reverberated through me, striking in new places—my heart and chest, my stomach and throat. It was a blow I had not anticipated. I had thought they would understand my sacrifice. I had chosen to marry Adrian to ensure their lives never changed under his rule, but that had not been enough. They’d wanted him dead.

And now they wanted me dead too.

I was beginning to think Nadia was wrong.

There was no coming back to Lara.

Adrian set a brutal pace through the wood that took us away from the main path. The ground was uneven, which caused my body to rock against his, my thighs unable to grip Shadow’s sides. Adrian’s arm slipped around my waist, tightening so that I was sealed against him. He leaned forward, his cheek against mine. It was an intimate hold, but it was a stance that kept me in place and urged our horse forward.

We did not stop until the sky was tinged light blue, a sign of the coming sun. Scouts were sent ahead, and by the time we reached them, an encampment had been erected. The same tall, black tents that had loomed outside Lara made a haphazard circle upon a balding patch of earth surrounded by thin trees.

Adrian dismounted near his tent.

“Isolde,” he said, drawing my attention. When I looked down at him, he was waiting for me to follow. I considered taking off, riding hard into what remained of the wild night. I didn’t know where I would go. Back to my home? To the castle where I was now known as a traitor?

Adrian’s hand closed over mine, once again drawing my attention.

“Dismount, Isolde.”

It was the closest thing he’d ever given to a command. He did not say it, but I read the message in his eyes—If you run, I will catch you, and I knew he would. For a moment, I let myself think about what that would be like, watching Adrian’s power and aggression descend upon my body. We would fight like we fucked—brutally.

“Isolde,” he said my name again, tinged with a harshness that told me he knew my thoughts. I looked at him again and swung my leg over Shadow’s body. Adrian reached for me, his large hands splaying across my waist as he lowered me to the ground. He did not let go for a few moments, and I knew it was because he did not trust me not to bolt, but my thoughts were giving way to something else—a tangle in my chest that built as the tension between us grew.

“If you flee, you flee into the hands of your enemies now,” he said. “Do not forget what transpired here.”

I scowled. “You do not have to remind me of my treason. I think of it when I look at you.”

He did not respond, and I found myself wishing I could antagonize him instead of amuse him, because I was angry. He kept his hand on the small of my back as he walked me to his tent. Inside, it was spacious and similarly arranged as it was on the border of Revekka, but the fire he’d had blazing the night I’d come to ask for Killian’s life appeared to have been reduced to only hot embers. I tried not to wonder if he’d made that concession for me.

I stood at the center of the room, unmoving.

“I am sorry,” he said, and the words hit me wrong.

I spun to face him and pushed him. He didn’t budge, but the act felt like a release, so I did it again and again. It did nothing to him, and that only made me angrier.

“Are you done?” he asked.

I scowled and reared back, ready to release my blade and shove it into his heart—not that it would do any good—but Adrian’s hand latched onto my wrist, halting my strike.

I met his gaze.

“No.”

I shoved my other hand toward him, releasing my blade again, but he caught me, and this time he pinned my hands against my sides, stepping in to me.

“Enough, Isolde! I know you grieve—”

“What do you know of grief?” I spat. “You made me their enemy.”

“They made you the enemy. Your people could have just as easily tried to protect you.”

I flinched, knowing he was right, and the words took all my fight. He walked me backward until my knees hit the back of the bed, and I sat. My eyes were in line with his stomach, and after a moment, he tilted my head up, his fingers poised beneath my chin, so that my gaze met his.

“You had every right to defend yourself,” he said. “Take comfort. If you had not killed them, I would have, and I would not have been merciful.”

I swallowed hard, wondering what sort of justice he would have executed on my behalf.

“You must know my father had nothing to do with the attack.”

Adrian stared, unblinking, as if he did not believe me. “You are so certain?”

“Yes,” I whispered fiercely.

For a brief moment, Adrian let his fingers trail from my chin over my jaw and across my cheekbone. The movement was gentle and surprised me. As soon as the shock shuddered through me, he dropped his hand.

“Sleep,” he said and took a step away.

Again, I found myself surprised. I expected him to demand sex or at least tease it.

He raised a brow. “Unless you would prefer another activity.”

I looked down at my clothes, spattered with blood.

“A bath,” I said. “Or…whatever can be managed.”

Adrian nodded and left the tent.

A short while later, he returned with a bucket and a cloth. While he’d been gone, he had washed his face, though his clothes were still stained with the carnage of our battle.

“It is all we can manage,” he said, setting it down at the center of the tent. After, he took a seat opposite me, spreading his legs wide.

“I…don’t have anything to wear,” I said.

“It is no problem,” Adrian replied.

I glared at him, but honestly, I did not care as much as I pretended. I liked my body, I liked being unrestricted, so I removed my cloak, then my boots and the rest of my clothes. My legs and lower back ached, and it wasn’t until now that I realized how much damage I’d done to my hands during the fight. They hurt, my knuckles were bruised, and my fingers were cut. I submerged them in the water and watched the blood dance away in ribbons of red, ignoring Adrian’s burning gaze. After a few moments, I used the cloth to begin scrubbing away the remaining blood. Some of it was mine, but most of it was my attackers.

My people, I kept reminding myself, still in disbelief.

“What happened to your mother?”

I froze at his question, not expecting it but also unsure if I wanted to share what little I had of her with him. I focused on my task.

“She died,” I said.

“A while ago?” he pried.

“When I was born.”

Adrian was silent, and I moved on from cleaning my hands to my arms, my chest and stomach. I felt his gaze on all parts of me, even as he asked these serious questions. “What do you miss most about her?”

His question shocked me, and I hated being shocked by him. It was both curious and sincere, and I had an answer.

“I miss her potential,” I answered, staring at him. “I miss what could have been with her as my mother.”

He seemed strangely thoughtful. I assumed the questions were over and had returned to my task when he continued. “Who taught you to ride?”

I paused a beat, my frustration growing. “My father.”

“Who taught you to fight?”

“My commanders.”

“Alec Killian?”

Once again, I halted my task, and this time, I turned to face him fully. My eyes roamed from his face to his powerful shoulders to his cock, which strained against the fabric of his clothes.

“Jealous, King Adrian?” I taunted.

He tilted his head up, mouth and body tightening.

“I am just trying to ascertain what is left for me to teach.”

His words inspired heat to blossom in my stomach, and I wanted to tremble, but I tightened my muscles to keep from showing weakness.

“I don’t know there is much you can teach me, Adrian, except hate.”

A smile curved his lips, and then he rose to his feet. As he did, the edges of his clothing brushed my skin, and the shiver I’d fought so hard to keep at bay shook me. I bent my head back to hold his gaze as he towered over me.

“Sparrow,” he murmured, lifting his hand to hold my jaw, thumb brushing my cheek as he’d done earlier. “I think you are right.”

I felt his lips brush mine as he spoke, and I thought he would kiss me, but instead, he dropped his hand and slipped from his place between me and his chair, leaving the tent.

As soon as he was gone, I realized how much I’d wanted him to kiss me, because I’d wanted the pleasure he promised. I’d wanted to get lost in him so I could forget my reality.

It was good he’d left me alone.

I turned back to the basin and finished washing up. After, I curled into the furs covering Adrian’s bed. It took me a while to fall asleep, my mind racing with my recent past. It followed as the dark descended, and all I heard was the clash of metal and the screams of my people.