Thirteen

Thirteen

I rose early the next morning and dressed. My options were limited to the gowns provided by Adrian, all of which were tight and heavily embellished. I would have to speak to him about providing me with something I could train in regularly, though at the moment, the thought of facing him at all sent me into a spiral of confusing emotions. Perhaps I could convince Ana to communicate my need for something that included a place for my blade, even as I worked it into the bodice of my gown. I left my cuffs on the table by my bed. This dress, a high-necked, sleeveless gown with a minimal flare, would not serve to hide the weapons.

Violeta and Ana had arrived. Violeta carried a tray with bread, butter, jam, and tea. Ana followed behind, dressed in a structured silver dress that moved like liquid as she walked.

“We thought you would prefer breakfast in your room,” Ana said.

“Is there no formal breakfast?”

In Lara, my father dined with the court every morning and evening; the only meal he took on his own or with me alone was lunch. It was almost ritualistic—he rose, dressed, and dined. After, we would take a walk in the garden.

“Among vassals, yes,” Ana explained. “But they are rarely joined by Adrian or the noblesse.”

She did not need to tell me why. I could guess the reasons for their sporadic visits.

“I would like to walk this morning,” I said. “Is there a garden here?”

“Yes, a beautiful one,” she said. “Adrian tells me you love midnight roses.”

I opened my mouth to respond but hesitated, wondering when they had spoken about me.

“I do. They remind me of my mother.”

Ana only nodded, and I got the sense that Adrian had told her about that too.

“Then we shall begin with the gardens.”

The gardens of the Red Palace were very different from what I had formulated in my mind. I’d imagined something slightly more grand than what my mother had created and my father had maintained at Castle Fiora. What I walked into was far more magnificent. In addition to lush flowers, trees, and plants, there were statues, fountains, and decorative stones that created a maze of distinct gardens, each with their own theme and flair. I was enchanted, to say the least.

“This is beautiful,” I said as I walked ahead of Ana, down a bank of white marble steps that led into a formal garden, encased by a frame of box hedges. The center design, crafted from aromatic florals, reminded me of the stained glass windows in the palace. “Did this survive from King Dragos’s reign?”

“It was very small,” Ana said, keeping a few paces behind me. “It was Adrian who insisted on something far more extensive.”

That both surprised and intrigued me. “Why?”

“He felt it was important,” she answered. Just like when Sorin answered questions about Adrian, I felt she was being evasive, which was even stranger given we were discussing the design of a garden.

I looked up at the red sky and wondered how things survived here since the sun could not shine directly on anything, but clearly the flowers had no trouble thriving. There were several varieties—datura and foxgloves, oleander and lily of the valley, irises and larkspur. I wandered farther, losing sight of Ana as I slipped between openings in the stone walls. Each garden had a different centerpiece: some a pool, others a fountain, this one a gazebo with a delicate, filigree roof. I took the steps one at a time and stood for a few minutes at its center, enjoying the quiet of the garden.

“Queen Isolde.”

I turned and found a woman standing outside the gazebo; her arm was looped through that of a younger companion. One was dressed in lilac, the other in gray. I did not recognize them or know their names, but they were vampires, not human, and I wondered how they had come into existence, what use had Adrian found in them.

“Yes?” I inquired, and they both bowed.

“We wanted to welcome you to Revekka,” the woman in gray responded.

“Thank you,” I said and looked away. If I were in Lara, it would have communicated my dismissal of their presence. Here, it only seemed to encourage them.

“The whole kingdom is intrigued by you,” she continued. “The mortal who managed to snare our king.”

What a coincidence. I never suspected I would be snared by anyone either, I thought, still not looking at them.

“We, of course, thought that if he married at all, it would be one of the women at court,” she added. “But it seems he merely enjoyed sampling.”

“Have you merely come to boast about how you fucked my husband before me?” I asked, finally looking at the woman. Her eyes widened slightly and then narrowed, mouth hardening into a tight line. She did not need to tell me she had—her jealousy had to have sprung from somewhere.

“He is not a man you can satisfy on your own,” she said. “He needs more. You would do well to remember that.”

“Are you suggesting you can somehow make up for what I lack?” I asked.

The woman in gray straightened, lifting her head. “Everyone knows you have not let him feed from you,” she said. “He has to receive blood from somewhere, and now that you have forced him to dismiss Safira, well, one of us must take her place.”

I should have anticipated that Safira would not make a secret of her dismissal, least of all that I had commanded it. Still, that did not surprise me so much as this woman suggesting she could satisfy my husband in other ways.

“Adrian doesn’t fuck those he feeds from,” I said.

Both women laughed.

“Is that what he told you?” the woman in gray asked between laughs. “Oh, and you believed him!”

“He must care for her at least a little,” said the woman in lilac. “Or he wouldn’t spare her the details.”

They continued to laugh, but as I turned toward them fully, they quieted.

“Are you suggesting my husband, the king of Revekka, is a liar?” I asked, and their amusement died. I took a step toward them. “Because if you are, I think he should know what you think of him.”

The two exchanged a look. “We only meant to inform—”

“You meant to mock me,” I said. “But I will not play this game. You will either respect me or be eliminated from this court. Do you understand?”

“There you are!” Ana said, joining me beneath the filigree awning. Her eyes shifted to the women, who were now retreating across the lawn. “Are you all right?”

“Who were those two?” I asked.

“One is Lady Bella, the other is Lady Mila. They are cousins. Lady Bella is the daughter of Noblesse Anatoly.” She paused. “Did they say something to you?”

“More than something,” I replied and then met her gaze. “What more do you have to show me?”

I did not wander far from Ana as we continued through the gardens. I did not think it was possible for them to get any more beautiful, but they did. Each layout was different, each path offering a different route through gardens of roses, hemlock, and amaryllis, past great pieces of art—glass prisms that shown like rubies beneath the sky and statues carved of volcanic glass depicting the lesser goddesses.

“Does Adrian…worship the old gods?” I asked.

“He worships no gods,” said Ana. “That does not mean he doesn’t believe in them.”

“Why would he offer them a place in his royal gardens then?”

“You can respect someone and not worship them,” Ana said. “Rae and Yara and Kismet, they are peaceful goddesses.”

Her statement suggested that Asha and Dis were the opposite, and I was curious about her thoughts, but just then, we stepped through a set of high hedges that backed up against an encroaching line of trees, distracting me from my question.

“This is the grotto,” Ana said.

I was momentarily taken aback by this place because I had been here before—just last night—and while it looked different in what light the red sky offered, there was no mistaking that smell or the presence of jasmine trees all around.

The pool, which had appeared dark in my dreams, was full of clear, crisp water from which steam rose as the heat met the cold morning air. Part of the pool was tucked beneath the castle, creating the grotto. Under the canopy, the walls appeared to be painted into a soothing swirl of calming colors.

I wandered closer to the edge of the pool and then turned in a slow circle, recalling my strange dream. How I’d felt when Adrian had approached, how desperate I was for him to never leave my side again, and yet how afraid I was we would be caught, and despite all that, I still took him into my body. My thoughts were a chaotic storm—a mixture of the Isolde who had loved Adrian in the dream and the one who wondered how I’d imagined a place I’d never been. Was this some kind of magic? Perhaps something residual that had followed me from Sadovea?

“Isolde?” Ana asked, a note of concern coloring her voice.

My gaze snapped to hers.

“Are you all right?” she asked. It wasn’t lost on me, the number of times I’d been asked that since leaving Lara.

“I—”

Before I could speak, a bell began to toll, and I looked to Ana for an explanation.

“It is noon,” she said. “The castle gates are opening for court. I must get you to Adrian.”

“Court?”

“Adrian has been gone for so long. While he is here, his subjects will petition him to end feuds, send aid, or even turn them.”

“Turn them? Into vampires?” I’d been told this but still couldn’t seem to believe someone would ask for it.

“Immortality is desired by many, Isolde,” Ana said. “The question is who will present as useful to Adrian and, now, to you.”

To me? Was I expected to grant immortality too?

Our return to the castle was through an alternate entrance. The corridors were narrower and colder, but Ana promised it was the best way to travel the castle without interruption.

“There are maps,” she explained. “You can get just about anywhere except the library.”

I frowned. “Why?”

“Because it was added during Adrian’s reign, and the passages were from Dragos.”

We exited the corridor into a closet, which led into a hallway, and from there, Ana escorted me to a room just off the great hall.

“You only need to knock,” she said. “He knows to expect you.”

I waited until she was gone and did so, finding Daroc on the other side.

“My queen,” he said and bowed as I entered. I wondered if he hated bowing to me, if he hated me. At least, unlike others in the castle, he did not show it.

“Commander.” I nodded as I swept past him, halting as soon as I was inside the room.

“I take my leave,” Daroc said and left me alone with Adrian.

He stood opposite, dressed in black, holding a small book. His surcoat was far more embellished, with a design embroidered all over in gold thread. Over the top, he wore a black fur vest and over that a collar of gold. He had pulled half his hair back, so that some fell in soft waves around his face. A black crown of spikes made him appear far more imposing.

I had dreaded this moment, facing him after asking him to leave last night. My chest felt heavy, full of a static that increased the longer I held his gaze, which took effort, because I did not want him to see how I felt. Even I did not know.

“Isolde,” he said.

“Adrian.”

We stared at each other, and before he could broach the subject of last night, I spoke.

“What do you expect of me?” I asked.

Adrian’s brows drew together. “What do you mean?”

“During court. Am I merely an ornament to adorn the seat beside your throne? Because if that is the case, then I decline your invitation.”

Adrian set aside the book he had been reading and faced me fully.

“You make many presumptions, wife. Your presence by my side is not up for discussion, nor is it for show. You are my queen. I expect we will rule together, which means your participation during court.”

I blinked at him. “Does ruling together mean you will listen to me when I beg you not to continue invading the Nine Houses?”

Adrian said nothing.

“I thought not.”

“Isolde,” he said my name again, quiet and almost desperate. I didn’t like it. My sweet or Sparrow were far less personal than my actual name.

“Do not pretend to give me an equal say in the ruling of your land if it only extends to court politics.”

I whirled on my heels, intending to leave, but as soon as I touched the handle, Adrian’s hand covered mine. I turned my head slightly, only to find his lips hovered near. He stood close, but his body did not touch mine, and in that space, something like a current began to run between us. It took everything in my power not to lean into it.

“You are infuriating,” he said.

“You are the one who married me on a whim.”

“It wasn’t a whim. It was very much intentional.”

“You forgot to inform me,” I said.

Part of me knew how he would answer. There was something undeniable between us, something completely electric that even hate could not dissolve. It kept me rooted to the spot now, when I would usually fight to be free.

I turned toward him, though he still caged me against the door.

“Give me time,” he said. “Soon you will beg me to conquer the land you wish to save.”

“Now who is making presumptions?”

“I am offering truth,” he said.

I glared at him, and there was a knock. It came from the opposite side of the room, where a door led into the great hall.

Adrian did not immediately answer, just stared at me a moment longer, somehow looking both fierce and mournful. He wanted to talk about last night, but I was more eager to talk about vampires like Lady Bella and Lady Mila. More importantly, who would he choose as his next vassal?

Another knock, and I pushed against his chest.

“We are being summoned,” I said.

He grabbed my wrist and pressed my fingers to his lips.

“I meant it, Isolde. I would have you make your own judgments today.”

I believed him.

He held on to my hand and fitted it into the crook of his elbow as we entered the great hall. There were people gathered, many with variations of Adrian’s gold collar. Noblesse, I guessed when I spotted Gesalac in the crowd fitted with silver and emerald. His gaze was dark and made me feel dread. Still, I thought it said something about his loyalty to Adrian—and this court—that he presented despite his son’s death.

Though perhaps it said more about how feared Adrian truly was.

“Who is Noblesse Anatoly?” I asked.

Adrian looked down at me and then nodded toward the far wall.

“He is the dour-looking one,” he said.

He did not need to give me any more of a description than that. Noblesse Anatoly stood aside, dressed in black and silver, an almost sleepy expression on his face due to large, round, half-lidded eyes.

“You will have to tell me later of your relationship with his daughter, Lady Bella,” I said.

Adrian raised a brow. “I will tell you now. There is no relationship.”

“Really? She seems to know a lot about your sexual exploits,” I said. “And your bloodlust.”

Adrian held my hand aloft as I made the short walk up the precipice where two identical thrones now sat. He paused before them and touched my chin, a gentle movement that made my face flush.

“You will find within these walls many profess to know me,” he said. “You must trust what you have come to know.”

“You are asking me to trust you,” I said.

Adrian guided me back, a subtle invitation to sit, our private conversation finished. He released my hand and turned.

“Open the doors,” he said and settled himself on his throne.

Adrian’s court was already crowded against the walls of the great hall, leaving the center of the floor free for petitioners. I was not certain what to expect, but the line seemed to go on forever, from the opening of the hall out the front doors of the castle.

The first villager shuffled forward.

“Your Majesties,” she said, bowing. “My name is Andrada. I am from the village of Sosara. Our crops were destroyed by a creature we have yet to catch. Our animals have followed. We are in the middle of winter and do not have enough food to sustain our village until summer. We humbly ask for more protection and food. We are dying.”

I looked to Adrian, whose posture reminded me of someone who was bored, and yet his expression was serious. There were any number of creatures that could kill cattle and destroy crops, the rusalka, koldum, and leyah just to name a few.

“You have traveled far, Andrada,” Adrian said. “Tell me, have you brought this matter to your noblesse?”

So the noblesse of Revekka were like the lords of Lara—they represented various territories and were supposed to provide a buffer between the people and their king.

She swallowed. “I have, Your Majesty. Our pleas have gone…unanswered. Though I am sure Noblesse Ciro is very busy.”

“Is that what you would claim, Noblesse Ciro? That you are too busy to attend to your people?” Adrian asked, his attention shifting to a man with short blond hair and brows who stood just at the edge of the crowd. He wore rich robes, far more extravagant even than Adrian’s. His collar was silver with purple gems.

“Of course not, Your Majesty,” Noblesse Ciro said, casting a hardened glance at Andrada. “This is the first time I have heard of Sosara’s plight.”

“Then perhaps you should spend more time among your people,” Adrian said.

“I will take care of it,” Ciro replied, and my pulse thrummed heavily.

“Of course,” Adrian said. “Ciro will escort you back to your village. I will send members of the royal guard with food as well, and they will stay until the monster destroying your crops and slaughtering your cattle has been killed. Does that satisfy your request?”

“M-more than,” Andrada stuttered, her eyes darting to Ciro.

She feared him. I started to protest the noblesse’s return to Sosara when Adrian spoke.

“Do not fear Noblesse Ciro,” Adrian told her. “He has already failed in his duty to protect you and your people. Once more, and he will be executed.”

It was a clear promise and threat that made Ciro paler, but I was glad to see consequences for absent nobles. There was nothing more infuriating than a man or woman who did not care for their people, as I had been reminded during my father’s negotiations with Adrian.

“May good health and abundance bless your marriage, Your Majesties,” Andrada said, bowing low. As she moved to leave the great hall, she was joined by three of Adrian’s soldiers, who flanked her as if to create a barrier between her and Noblesse Ciro, who lingered farther back, following slowly.

There were a few other requests just like that, though they came from attentive noblesse. In one horrible instance, a lamia had managed its way into a home and stolen away a child. It was never found, but a trail of blood had led back to the water. Another story came from the west where men were being lured by an iara who would hypnotize them and drain them of both blood and semen.

I was surprised by the number of monsters that dared to ravish Revekka, given that vampires ruled, but hearing these complaints and concerns made me realize they were no different than the Nine Houses. Perhaps the only superior thing they had was an army of vampires to fight.

I watched the next villager approach. He was an older man who had a graying beard and short hair he kept hidden under a cap. His clothes were mostly rags, though the woman who lingered behind him, blond and beautiful, wore a far nicer gown, and I guessed they’d spent their last bit of coin on it to be here.

“Your Majesty,” the man said, addressing only Adrian as he made a sweeping exaggerated bow. “I am Cain, a farmer from Jovea. My wife and I have three daughters, but Vesna, she is the most beautiful. Do you not agree?”

I instantly felt disgust, both for this man’s ability to single out the beauty of one of three daughters and because of his probing question to my husband. I looked to Adrian, whose mouth hardened.

“My village relies upon me to sow crops and harvest every year, but I am growing older and in poorer health. As the years pass, it will become more difficult to provide. So I ask you—please, make me an immortal. In exchange, I offer my daughter as a concubine to serve you.”

The shock of his statement reverberated through me, stiffening my spine. I saw Adrian glance at me from my peripheral, and I wondered what my astonishment had looked like to the people crowded in the great hall. Cain did not seem to notice me at all, his gaze lingering upon Adrian. I suspected that was because he was the target of his request—I could not turn this man into a vampire.

My gaze shifted to the young girl, whose head was bowed. Her hair fell straight, and she let it curtain her youthful face. She had yet to raise her eyes to anyone, and I noted how her shoulders hunched as if she wanted to crawl into herself. She did not wish to be here.

“You say you are a farmer and a cornerstone of your village,” Adrian began. “Yet I have heard differently. I have heard that you hold crops hostage in exchange for coin or favors. It does not sound like you are all that necessary to me.”

The man’s eyes widened, and I had to admit, I was impressed by Adrian’s own knowledge of his kingdom.

“Your Majesty,” Cain said and laughed awkwardly. “Why would you listen to these lies?”

“Are you calling your noblesse a liar?” Adrian asked.

“I am merely saying that Noblesse Dracul has been misled.”

Even as they spoke, I could not keep my eyes off the woman lingering in this man’s shadow. Her fingers were turning white and all I could think was that I had to free her from this.

I rose to my feet, and whatever the man had been saying ended abruptly as his eyes found mine. I repressed the urge to scowl, maintaining my placid expression. There was a hunger in his gaze, and I did not know if it was for power or my flesh.

“Cain, is it?” I asked.

“Y-yes,” the man said, and then he bowed, as if seeing me for the first time. “Your Majesty.”

I shifted my gaze to Vesna. “Your daughter, how old is she?”

“She is sixteen, my queen.”

“Sixteen,” I repeated and descended the steps, stopping a few feet in front of them. “Come.”

The girl glanced at her father, and he waved her forward hurriedly. She made a wide arc around him, as if she feared he would reach for her. As she approached, she curtsied but would not meet my gaze. I guided her eyes to mine.

“Vesna, what are your skills?”

“I can cook, clean, sew,” she said, and her voice was soft, almost musical.

“Can you sing?” I asked, my heart hopeful for her answer, and for a brief moment, I imagined teaching her songs from my mother’s home and felt a surge of happiness.

“I can,” she said.

“Then you will stay here in the castle with me. I could use a mortal companion,” I said.

Before she could reply, her father clapped his hands loudly. “That is most generous of you, my queen!”

I stared at him, and despite the look of disgust I cast his way, he maintained his enthusiastic expression. After a moment, I returned my attention to Vesna.

“My queen, that is very generous of you. I fear…I fear to leave my sisters behind.”

“We will do something about those fears,” I replied and then summoned Ana, who had positioned herself near the dais. “Take Vesna to my quarters. I will join her after this is over.”

I watched until they disappeared into the adjoining room, and as I turned, I drew my knife from between my breasts, hiding it in my skirts before turning back to her father. I took two deliberate steps to face him.

“You will not regret your decision, my queen!”

“You are right,” I said. “I won’t.”

The knife slid home between his ribs, and as his eyes widened, I withdrew it with a jerk so that he fell heavy and dead at my feet, blood dripping from his mouth. I stared out at those gathered before me and those who were waiting for an audience.

“Anyone else wish to offer their daughters as a concubine to my husband?” I asked.

There was only silence.

I turned and made my way back up the precipice.

Adrian held out his hand. “Your knife.”

I hesitated but offered it to him, as he didn’t seem to be so much disappointed as pleased. Then he took it and cleaned it as he had done last night, returning it to me immediately. Another set of guards dragged Cain’s body from the center of the room, leaving a streak of blood as they went.

No one else left me out in their address after Cain, and he was not the last to ask for immortality, though no one bothered offering their daughter as a sex slave. What surprised me most was that Adrian declined every request from a mortal to be turned, and I began to wonder what would convince him.

The final person to ask was familiar to me, and seeing him in the great hall of the Red Palace shocked me.

“King Gheroghe.”

His kingdom was Vela and had yet to be conquered by King Adrian.

“Prin—Queen Isolde,” he said, bowing. “A pleasure. It has been a long while since last I looked upon your beauty.”

I felt Adrian’s eyes upon me as I spoke.

“It has been a while,” I said. “Since I put a knife against your son’s throat. How is Prince Horatiu?”

He had been one of several to suggest they could both please me and lead my people, insinuating that I could not do it on my own, and when he’d cornered me in the dark to kiss me, I’d reacted by drawing blood.

“Much recovered,” Gheroghe replied.

“What is the reason for your visit, King Gheroghe?” Adrian asked, a note of irritation in his voice.

“I have come to surrender,” he said. There was a surprise quiet that flooded the entire room, and then he added, “In exchange, I ask only to become immortal.”

“Surrender does not usually include negotiating where I am concerned, King Gheroghe,” Adrian said. “You surrender and keep your title and ensure the safety of your people. There are no other options.”

“Vela has much to offer, my king. Not only would you inherit a wealth of iron ore, but you would have access to launch an attack on the Atoll of Nalani, a kingdom rich in pearls and gems.”

I straightened and my hands fisted, hearing my mother’s homeland thrown into talks of conquering.

“You would inherit so much more than a wife with a penchant for knives.”

“I like my wife and her knives, and while I’d prefer your surrender over battle, I will gladly go to war nevertheless.”

King Gheroghe’s eyes widened, and as Adrian rose, I followed.

“I-Isolde,” he said, as if begging me to come to his defense.

“You lost my support when you suggested that Adrian invade my mother’s lands,” I said. “Return to your kingdom and await the war.”

The memory of Adrian’s words were not lost on me; I had just approved of the invasion of one of the Nine Houses.

Adrian took my hand, and we returned to the adjacent room. He pushed me against the door, dragging my hips against his, and kissed me.

I held his head between my hands and freed myself.

“How many women have you accepted as concubines?” I asked.

“None,” he said. “But I have never executed a man for the offer either.”

“He was a snake,” I spat.

“I am not disagreeing or disapproving,” he said, and he ground into me further. The hard length of his cock settled against my stomach. Then his voice lowered to a low rumble, and it was as if he were confessing a sin. “You are everything I have ever wanted.”

I stared at him and saw the same gentleness, the same raw emotion I’d seen last night. And I couldn’t indulge.

I pushed him back and slid out from between him and the door. He reached for my wrist, and I met his gaze.

“Isolde, tell me what I did wrong.”

“Can you not read minds?” I countered, frustrated, though I really hoped he couldn’t in this moment. I didn’t want him to know the truth—that I could not handle the care with which he had looked at me, that I felt more emotion than I could manage when I looked at him.

“I’m trying to give you privacy,” he said, and it was the first time I sensed his exasperation with me.

“I just…did not know you would make a habit of visiting my bed every night. It is not as if we need to produce an heir, so it is hardly necessary.”

He released me but turned fully toward me, towering, eyes narrowed. “Are you saying you tire of me, my queen?”

I hated the way those words hurt my chest, and I hated how uncertain I sounded as I answered, breathless. “Yes.”

Adrian stared a moment longer, as if he thought I would change my mind beneath his scrutiny, but I didn’t—I couldn’t—and I hoped that if he had chosen to read my mind in this moment, my thoughts reflected the same. Adrian and I were supposed to be enemies, and I could only stand our closeness so long as I still felt anger toward him.

Finally, he took his leave, offering only a single bow. I wondered how long I’d be able to keep my distance before that unexplained need for him took over and betrayed my self-control.

I returned to my quarters after court to find Ana sitting with Vesna. The two looked up as I entered and then stood to curtsy.

“My queen,” Vesna said, keeping her eyes on her feet.

“You will have to learn to meet my gaze if you are to work for me, Vesna,” I said, and when she did, she blushed a deep crimson.

“I apologize, my queen.”

“Do not apologize,” I said. “Ana, will you summon Violeta?”

She nodded and left the room. Alone with Vesna, I invited her to sit beside me on the bed, once again keeping my distance from the hearth.

“I must inform you of your father’s death, Vesna,” I said. “I…”

I did not know what to add.

I murdered him, I thought, but I did not have the chance to add anything to my statement. Vesna burst into tears. It was a torrent of emotion that lasted only a few seconds before she was able to compose herself.

“I’m sorry,” I said. I wasn’t apologizing for killing her father, but I was apologizing for her hurt.

“No, please. Do not be sorry. I just…do not know how to feel. He was terrible, to be sure, a true monster not only to me and my sisters but our mother and the townspeople. To be truthful, I do not know how he survived this long.”

She told me of instances when her father’s food or drink had been poisoned, but he’d escaped any attempts by feeding the contaminated fare to their animals. I felt sick at the thought.

“Still, he was my father,” she said.

“You do not have to decide how to feel today or tomorrow or ever if that is your choice,” I said. “But I cannot have men selling their daughters without consequences.”

“I understand,” she whispered. “I am only glad that I can protect my sisters from him.”

“Tell me about them,” I said.

Vesna smiled when I asked. They were nine and eleven, and their names were Jasenka and Kseniya. She told a story of how much they loved flowers and how they would shriek with delight when they spotted white butterflies resting on petals, and as they flew away, the girls would follow, dancing as they went.

“We called it the butterfly dance,” she said, smiling even as tears stained her face. “I think I remember those times so well because there was sun just beyond the border, and sometimes, we would run beneath it.”

The sun.

It was strange how the thought of it filled me with mourning as I remembered how I’d sought the tallest hills in Lara just so I could lie closer to its rays. Homesickness swamped me.

“What about your mother?” I asked, swallowing hard, blinking back the tears burning my eyes.

At the question, Vesna’s mouth began to quiver. “I do not know what will become of her. I…” She fell forward and sobbed into her hands, and the only thing I could think to do was hold her. After she had cried a while, she was able to tell me more about her mother. “She used to sing,” Vesna said. “But my father would yell, so she only sang when he was gone. Then he began to hit, and her singing stopped altogether.”

I sent her with Violeta after that, promising before she left, “You may leave to visit your family as often as you wish.”

She smiled at me. “Thank you, my queen.”

Alone, I lay upon my bed, and as I stared up at the canopy, the tangled pattern blurred with my tears. I missed my father and the presence of my mother so much, my chest ached. I closed my eyes against the pain and rolled onto my side, humming my mother’s lullaby, the one that had played from the music box my father had given me—the one he would bring me in less than two weeks’ time.

You still have him, I reminded myself.

And yet his absence burrowed deeper, and for the first time since I’d left Lara, I felt very much alone.