Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

“ O ch, why cannae I sleep?” Ava complained at the ceiling, as if somehow, speaking her worries aloud would help. It was still dark outside, the lack of light testament to the fact she should still be asleep.

She threw off the covers, her body heated. All night she had been having dreams. She was back in that training ground with Kai, only they hadn’t stopped at all their playful words or even cutting each other’s clothes. In those dreams, they had ripped the clothes off each other. The simultaneous rough and tender way Kai had made love to her in the dream in the middle of that room still made her dither with want.

“Enough,” she muttered sharply and sat up in bed. She felt a wetness between her legs, a wetness that had been there ever since Kai had cut the first rip in her gown the night before.

There was something there, wasnae there? It wasnae just excitement, but something deeper.

It was the first time she had looked at Kai and not been confused about her attraction to him and their friendship. It was the first time it had felt natural, obvious, as if there was nothing more understandable in the world than her wanting to tear off the rest of his shirt and kiss him.

“Oh, in the name of the wee man!” Cursing her own thoughts, she stood from the bed and moved to wash her face in a fresh bowl of water. She didn’t light a candle but navigated the room in the dull grey light of the morning that showed dawn was not too far away after all. As she washed, a thick piece of parchment caught her eye. It had been slipped under the door in the night and sat there heavy and folded, awaiting her attention.

Drying her face, she hastened toward it and opened it, her heart no longer hammering in her chest when she realized it was not a note from Kai as she had hoped after all, but a note from her father.

Ava, me dear heart, today Laird Grant is tae have a tour of the grounds. I told him ye shall accompany us in the afternoon. It is imperative ye dae yer duty now. I ken it isnae an easy path, but ye and I both ken, it is the only way we can keep yer sister safe.

Her father droned on but she could not bring herself to read it all. She rolled up the letter, feeling strangely numb and cold.

Very well, she would go on that ride later. She would do her duty. She would seduce Laird Grant using all the tricks that she had learned and she would not dwell on the fact that she had not once thought about what it would be like to share Laird Grant’s bed, for all she could think about was sharing Kai’s.

She hurried to dress, braiding her hair in a haphazard way in her haste, before she left the room, stumbling down the stairs in the castle in the dark. In the great hall, it was still empty of people, though more decorations had been put up the evening before. The staff had decked the place beautifully in winter boughs, with pinecones and wreaths hanging from the ceilings and the stone walls. Even the tables were lined with garlands that had been studded with dried fruit and cinnamon, the scent heavy in the air.

Feeling blissfully alone, Ava walked deeper into the room, allowing the door to close behind her. There was a thin grey light bleeding through the tall windows at the other end of the hall, showing that the sun would soon rise. Ava concentrated on the decorations, trying not to think of Laird Grant or Kai. She looked at the mistletoe hanging in the boughs above her, cricking her neck far back to stare at it..

“Ye shouldnae stand there, ye ken.”

“What? Oh!” Ava flung a hand to her chest as she spun around.

Kai stood in the corner of the room, so shrouded in shadows that she hadn’t noticed him before.

“Kai!” she hissed. “What are ye doing here?”

He took a step forward, and she realized that he was still wearing the same torn clothes that they had sparred in the night before.

“Have ye nae been tae bed?” She raised her hand and pointed at his clothes as he walked toward her.

“Nay.” He shook his head. “I couldnae sleep. I went for a walk instead. I hoped it would clear me mind.” He kept moving toward her. Soon enough, he’d be standing under the mistletoe with her.

She raised her hand flat, urging him not to come any closer. He halted, his eyebrows raised a little, though he didn’t challenge her or inch his way forward.

“What thoughts did ye need clearing?” she whispered.

“Dinnae ask a question ye clearly dinnae want tae ken the answer tae.” He walked around her, clearly giving her a wide berth and glancing quickly up at the mistletoe above her. “Ye made it clear last night ye dinnae want tae hear particular thoughts from me.”

“Oh, Kai…” She turned on the spot, tracking his movements, never once inching away from the mistletoe. Was it so wrong to want him to close the distance between them? She had thought about it all night. What would one little transgression cost them?

He halted on the other side of her, his gaze now firmly set on the mistletoe over her head.

“Ye shouldnae stand there, Ava,” he said again. “Move away from that spot. They say it’s bad luck for a lass nae tae be kissed beneath the mistletoe.”

“Well…” She wasn’t sure what she was thinking. Maybe it was the lack of sleep that made her say it, or the fact that they were alone so early in the day that it felt as if they had suspended reality for a short while. All she knew was that one kiss did not sound so bad. “I dinnae want any bad luck in me life. Dae I?” She purposefully didn’t move away.

“Ava.” His voice had turned deep, even harsh, as he tilted his head to the side and watched her avidly. “Dinnae taunt a man who has been rock hard fer ye all night.”

His words shot a thrill up through her stomach, then down somewhere between her legs. To hear Kai talk in such a way was seductive. She loved the roughness of it, as well as the way he clearly restrained himself, standing as still as stone.

“I’m nae taunting ye,” she whispered.

“That is exactly what ye are doing.” He gestured a mad hand at the mistletoe over her head. “Dae ye think any man could resist ye now?”

“Kai,” she whispered, chewing her lip for a moment. When his eyes shot down to her lips, she halted, remembering what he had said about soft voices and expressions, how they could draw a man in. She deepened her voice when she spoke again. “I didnae ask ye tae resist.”

“Ah, curse the wee man above,” he muttered darkly. It was a sudden release of tension as he marched toward her. The thrill became even greater in Ava’s stomach as he neared her, then his hand was upon her. He caught the curve of her back and pulled her into him.

The first meeting of their lips was a crash, full of need and desperation. Ava wasn’t even sure where she put her hands. Was it on his shoulders? His biceps where she clung to the muscle beneath? She could feel the strength lingering there. His hands stayed firmly on her back, pulling her into him, so that there was no air between their chests, with her breasts flattened against his muscled torso.

Ava had never known a kiss before. She hadn’t expected the heat, the thrill, nor the constant movement of their lips as they tried to get closer to one another. Each time she thought about how incredible it was that Kai was the one kissing her, he somehow deepened it, parting her lips. Inhaling in surprise, she felt his tongue come out to meet her own, then everything changed.

Her hands ran from his shoulders down his arms, the touch gentle, as his fingers curved almost delicately against her back. The kiss became slow, exploratory, even tender.

She knew instantly that Kai would never push her further than she wanted to go. He’d only moved forward when she had practically begged him to do so, but the tenderness of the kiss now, the softness, the need, spoke volumes.

“Kai,” she whispered between kisses as he deepened it once more, exploring her slowly and softly. Such heat shot through her body at his touches that she began to shake.

“I ken,” he whispered, moving to brush her lips with his own. “Ye want me tae stop.”

“Nay. Dinnae stop.”

“Ye and I ken we both have tae.” Yet he kissed her again, the brush of lips so soft and tender this time that she flattened her body to his, not wanting to let go. His body felt amazing pressed against her, the strength of his torso making her feel incredibly safe.

“Aye, we have tae stop.” He pulled back.

Both breathless, they stood there, staring at each other.

Ava could have sworn there was a fire that had started in her stomach. It burned, threatening to engulf her. She and Kai had crossed a line now, something they could never go back from.

“Kai, I–” At her words, he shook his head, clearly not wanting her to say anymore.

“It can remain our secret. I promise.” He moved forward, placing his lips softly to her temple. It was such a sweet action that she closed her eyes, wanting to hold onto the moment for as long as possible. “None shall hear it from me.” He released her.

She felt cold, shaky, unable to stand on her own two feet as he backed up from her.

“At least now ye willnae have that bad luck.” He winked at her, but the easy smile couldn’t quite dispel the tension in the air between them. He walked around her and headed for the door, leaving Ava staring after him, her body completely breathless.

“Kai? Kai!” Ava yelled for him.

Kai pretended not to hear as he sparred with one of Laird Finley’s soldiers.

“Kai! Dinnae ignore me.”

“How could I ever ignore ye?” he shouted back, nearly catching his sparring partner’s shoulder with his blade in his distraction.

“Hey!” the soldier warned him to be more careful and Kai held up an apologetic hand, but clearly his partner had had enough. “Find another if ye want tae cut them open.” The soldier marched away, returning his sword to his belt.

Kai huffed and lowered his own sword, looking around the open lawn of the MacKinnon castle. It was how he had spent the last two days. Every waking moment he’d either been hiding in his chamber, riding, or here in the lawns, finding someone new to practice with. It was the first time Ava had found him.

“Kai!” she hissed, jumping up on a low-lying stone wall beside him. “Ye think I have nae noticed ye have been avoiding me? For two days, nae a word.”

“I wonder why,” he said with full irony, wiping the sweat from his brow with his sleeve. She blushed, the most pleasant shade of red he had ever seen, though she didn’t let go of her look of pure fury.

He had a pleasant imagining. He was back in that great hall with her beneath the mistletoe, only they hadn’t stopped at kissing. The image in his mind was rough, and rather raw, with him bending her over the nearest table and entering from her behind, so that she blushed as red and cried out his name, slamming her hands down onto the table…

“Kai?” She called again to get his attention.

This is why I have tae avoid her. I cannae control me thoughts anymore.

“Ye have been busy enough,” he reminded her, driving his sword back into his scabbard. “Ye have spent all yer time with Laird Grant.”

“Ye ken I have tae,” she muttered.

“I dae, so dinnae blame me fer keeping me distance.” His voice was a little harsher than he had intended it to be, but he hoped it made things clear.

I cannae watch ye seduce him.

“Now, if ye’d excuse me, I need tae find another sparring partner.” He gestured to the training grounds and the soldiers battling together.

“Ye cannae avoid me completely, Kai. We arenae done with our lessons.” Her words made him turn sharply back to face her. “Or dae ye have nothing more ye can teach me?”

“Oh, there is definitely more I could teach ye.”

“Then teach me.” She jumped down off the wall in front of him. He had to hold his hands behind his back to stop himself from touching her. “Dinnae think about what happened in the great hall –”

“Ava,” he hissed darkly.

“Just teach me!” she begged, her hazel eyes flashing with passion. “Laird Grant shows nay sign of proposing yet, despite me spending every day with him. Teach me, Kai. Please. Fer me sister’s sake, teach me.”

Kai felt as if he had been kicked in the gut. Since he had arrived at the castle, he had noticed how Lyla had retreated into herself more even than before. She spent most of her time in her chamber or hiding somewhere else in the castle.

Aye, Ava is right. Lyla needs saving from her own fears.

“Tonight, in yer chamber after dinner,” Kai said simply, walking around Ava. “It will be our last lesson.”