Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“ C areful!” Kai called as Ava backed away, holding the sword aloft.

Ava laughed with delight. At least out here, she felt more like herself. The training lawn had been cleared of snow, that was now piled high around the edge in little mounds, but the ground beneath them was still frozen hard. It made it easy to run back and forth, to fight with Kai as he sparred and blocked each one of her blows.

“Ye trying tae draw blood, Ava?” Kai laughed as he swiped his blade through the air and walked around her, aiming to draw her into a circle. Ava was careful to walk the other way, pushing up the sleeves of her gown. She was not going to give him a chance to win this particular battle.

“Maybe a little,” she teased him, loving the way he smiled at her.

Here, it didn’t matter what had just happened in that withdrawing chamber. She didn’t have to think about the touch of their fingers, that spark, nor the way Kai had been looking at her. She only had to think of the laughter and winning this fight.

“Ye ken I’ll win this fight.” He winked at her, coming to a stop in his circle. “I always can beat ye.”

“Nae today, Kai.”

“I’m stronger. Ye ken that.”

“Yet I’m wiser,” she teased him. He laughed once again then lunged toward her, but she was too quick, blocking the blow with ease and dancing to the side, out of his reach. Quick parries followed, each one making the metal clash and clang in the air loudly, then Kai stepped back. Mistaking his movement for a retreat, she lunged forward, but she was wrong. He had drawn her into a trap.

Grabbing hold of her wrist, he bent it down, so that she was forced to drop the sword, then he took hold of her waist.

“Kai!” she cried in irritation, but he had already flipped her through the air. She landed on her back on the hard ground, but his other arm had come up to cushion the blow behind her head as he knelt above her.

“I win,” he said victoriously, bending over her and breathing heavily. He was mere inches away from her, smiling down at her.

Ava was suddenly still. Their sparring had gone from something fun to something that was very close and almost intimate. His arms were around her, there was barely breathing room between them, and seeing them pant as he leaned above her now filled her mind with other ideas. Is that how Kai would look if she was one of the ladies he took to bed? Would he pant for her? Be red in the cheeks for her? Smile at her with such excitement?

He is smiling at me with excitement.

It was as though they were back in that room again, the air charged and sparking between them as silently, they both just looked at one another.

What is happening between us?

“Kai?” Thora’s voice made Kai snap his head up.

“Why dae we keep getting interrupted, eh?” Kai said with humor and stood up, releasing Ava. She slowly moved to her feet, hardly worried she had lost their sparring match and thinking much more of how close his lips had been to hers. “Aye, Thora?”

“I need ye two. Need yer help,” she called from the portcullis in the curtain wall. “We’re setting up the great hall fer the Yuletide feast Domhnall insists we have.”

Kai’s body stiffened at once. Ava stared at him in wonder. He’d gone from easy humor and excitement to being as wooden as a board.

“Come, Kai, it willnae take long,” Thora pleaded, turning and disappearing back across the courtyard.

“Well, ye win,” Ava said, nudging him with her elbow, hoping not to remind him of that charged air that had just arisen between them. She feared that she was reading all the excitement wrong. Maybe indeed she was growing more and more attracted to Kai by the day, but his behavior could be a part of their lessons – he was showing her how attraction worked.

He would never truly be attracted tae me, would he? After all, he can bed any woman he wants tae.

The thought made such sadness swell in Ava’s chest that she walked away fast, tucking her sword into her belt as she approached the castle. Kai said nothing, but followed closely behind her, giving her space.

Inside the great hall, Thora had spared no expense or energy in preparing the room for their upcoming feast. Tables were spread around the edges, decked with dried fruit and pinecones. The scent of cinnamon hung in the air from where sticks had been pressed into green boughs that hung from the ceilings. Iron candelabras peppered the space, ready to be lit, and the top table, raised on a platform, was already decked with displays of great winter flowers and mistletoe.

“It’s beautiful,” Ava whispered as Thora clapped happily at her side, clearly pleased with what they had achieved. “What can I help with?”

“That is really rather simple.” Thora reached for the weapons in Ava’s belt and slid out the sword, laying it down on a table nearby. “Ye too, Kai. Weapons off.”

He halted at Ava’s side, as silent as he had been the whole walk up to the castle. Slowly, he drew out his own weapons, laying them down beside Ava’s own.

“Now, here is what I need from ye.” Thora took Ava’s hands and dragged her into the wide space between the tables. Once she’d released her, Thora moved to her brother and pushed him forward with her hands in his back, until he stood in the middle of the space before Ava. “I need ye two tae dance fer me.”

Ava saw Kai’s eyebrows shoot up high in surprise.

“Ye… what?” Kai stumbled over his words, turning to face Thora.

Ava chewed the inside of her mouth. As surprised as she had been, the thought that Kai would rather fight with her than dance with her made her feel as if she had been kicked in the gut.

“I need tae ken this is a good space fer people tae dance. Is it wide enough?” She gestured around the space. “Try a volta. That will show me if it works.”

“We’re nae dancing fer ye,” Kai snapped, shaking his head.

That feeling was growing worse. Ava now felt as if snakes lodged deep in her gut.

“Ye’ll have tae find another woman tae dance with Kai,” Ava said, knowing she had to extricate herself from this situation at once. “Clearly, he has nay wish tae dance with me.” She stepped around him, intent on leaving the room.

Out of nowhere, his hand took hold of her arm and brought Ava to a stop.

“Is that what I said?” Kai’s voice was unusually sharp. “Did I say I didnae want tae dance with ye?”

“Ye didnae have tae say it.” She avoided looking him in the eye.

“Well, this is cheery and nae awkward at all,” Thora said as she walked away. “I’ll get some music prepared.”

“Thora!” Kai hissed, but Thora either didn’t hear him or pretended not to. She enlisted the help of a minstrel who had been helping to hang boughs from the ceiling and now stopped to pick up his lute and play a tune.

“Ye dinnae have tae dae this,” Ava whispered, but Kai’s hand was now slipping down her arm. He took hold of her hand and drew her forward to walk around him in a circle. “Kai, I said –”

“I ken what ye said. For once, dinnae argue with me. Just dance.” He pulled her to a stop in front of him and took hold of her other hand. They just looked at one another as they waited for the lute player to finish the introduction of the music.

The string instrument dropped low, the notes heavy and beating a dramatic tune, as Thora began to clap slowly alongside to keep the rhythm.

Kai led Ava into the opening steps of the volta. In all her years of being Kai’s friend, she could not remember them ever having danced together before. The opening movements were slow, performed in a circle. The whole time, Ava just stared up at Kai, very aware of his height and strength compared to her own body. When he came close, placing a hand to the curve of her waist to make her dance back and forward, close to him, then apart, she couldn’t stop thinking about his strong muscled chest or the firm hand on her waist. She longed for him to touch her more, to break all the rules there had ever been, to forget that they were just friends and to show her what it would be like to be one of the women he took to his bed.

The music grew faster. With the change, Thora’s clapping grew faster too, and their dancing increased in pace. Kai turned Ava quickly under his arm, so she had to flick her head around repeatedly to look at him. He never once took his eyes off her. There was something in his gaze that was heated. She loved it.

He took hold of her waist with both hands and launched her into the air, in one of the volta’s traditional jumps. He caught her with ease, as if she weighed nothing, then turned her around again. She was completely breathless, gripping onto his shoulders as he launched her into a second jump.

The music ended with Ava still in the air, her body pressed against Kai’s own, her head just above his as he caught her and held her up high.

“Well, I’d say that’s a big enough space to dance, wouldnae ye?” Whoever Thora was talking to, Ava took no notice.

She could only stare at Kai as he looked up at her, with one of his arms wrapped around her waist, the other in her skirt, braced against the backs of her legs.

“Ye can put her down now, Kai,” Thora called.

He must have heard her words, for slowly, Kai lowered Ava to the floor. The whole time, he didn’t once look away.

Ava was now certain. Maybe she could have gone so far in pretending that Kai was acting a part for the sake of our lessons, but this was no lesson. This had been a dance, and yet he looked at her in the same way, with that same charge, as if the air was crackling between them.

“Very good,” Kai whispered to her. “Ye have remembered everything I taught ye.”

“Wh-what?”

“Ye softened yer expression, ye touched me gently.” Kai suddenly smiled. “Laird Grant will fall at yer feet, Ava. He’d be a fool nae tae want ye.” Then he released her and stepped back.

Ava wobbled, fearing for a second that she might lose her balance and fall over.

I was being a fool.

“Thank ye,” she said with some difficulty.

“Excellent.” Thora appeared beside them. “Thank ye so much, ye two. Nae long until the feast now. In two days’ time, we’ll be celebrating Yuletide and yer future husband will be here, Ava. Ye ready tae meet him?”

“Aye, aye,” she said somewhat hurriedly and without much composure. “I cannae wait tae meet him. If ye would excuse me.” She hurried away as quickly as she could, not sure she could bear to look Kai in the face again at that moment.

“Thought I’d find ye here.”

Kai looked up from the tankard of whisky he had been staring into. Across the dark lonely room, Domhnall stood in the doorway. He was holding an even larger jug of whisky in his hands as he walked toward Kai, his figure now illuminated in the light of the three candles Kai had lit to keep himself company.

“Just one more day until Ava’s father arrives. And of course, Laird Grant arrives,” Domhnall said conversationally.

Kai purposefully took another large gulp of whisky. He had buried himself in this small back room of the castle. Quite often, he had hidden himself there over the years, on days when he couldn’t bear putting on false cheer and smiles for the sake of others. Domhnall had been the only one who had ever found him in this hiding place.

“Ye look like ye need some more.” Domhnall topped up the tankard and sat down in a chair beside Kai, turning his body toward the fire beside them. “Are ye going tae speak, or shall I just read yer expression instead?”

“Is there any point in me speaking?” Kai asked. Domhnall took a minute to answer, but eventually shook his head.

“I ken ye’re miserable, Kai.” Domhnall’s voice was deep and uncertain. “Would there be something so wrong in telling Ava how ye feel?”

Kai nearly dropped the tankard in alarm.

“I’m nae a fool,” Domhnall said hurriedly. “I think it’s worth ye taking a risk.”

“I have tae speak now.” Kai shook his head and put down the tankard of whisky. “Whatever ye think ye ken, Domhnall, have ye forgotten what is in her mind? Are ye ignoring the fact that she is intent on marrying Laird Grant fer the sake of protecting her sister? Say fer one wild moment that Ava even looked at me… even thought of me… well, ye ken what I’m trying tae say,” he added quickly. “It wouldnae matter. Her sister will always come first, she’ll dae what she can tae protect Lyla, and that is only right. Ye and I both ken that come what may, Ava would pick Laird Grant over me.”

“Strange.” Domhnall sat back and poured out a tankard of whisky for himself. “That wasnae what I was thinking at all. I was thinking it’s a decision she may struggle tae take.”

“Then ye are nae a reader of people as ye claim tae be,” Kai said sharply. To his relief though, Domhnall didn’t seem offended. “There’s one other problem. Ye ken me reputation. Everyone does. Dae ye think that her faither would ever let his eldest marry a man like me?”

Domhnall grimaced. He didn’t need to say anything for Kai to know the truth. Ava’s father would never let her bind herself to a rake like Kai.

To Kai’s relief, Domhnall stayed with him. They drank whisky until a pleasant sort of oblivion overtook Kai. He forgot about Ava, and he forgot about Laird Grant, as the darkness engulfed him.