Chapter 23

Imust have drifted off to sleep again while Damon went back to reading, because when I slowly wake he isn’t there anymore. No one is, and for a moment my heart races until I hear voices talking softly from outside the bedroom.

Throwing the blankets off me, I slowly get to my feet. It’s amazing how one arm can interfere with normal functions. Making my way to the door, I get my first look at the rest of the apartment. It’s modern and spacious with all open plan living in neutral tones.

Killian, Rayth and Damon are in the kitchen area around the island counter unloading takeout that smells devine. Killian is the first to see me, tilting his head in what I have come to understand as his own version of concern. “Angel, what are you doing out of bed? I was going to bring you food,” he questions, placing the containers on the counter. His words cause Rayth and Damon to turn their attention toward me, their expressions filled with worry.

I shake my head and continue moving toward them. “I can’t keep lying in that bed, feeling useless,” I admit, my voice tinged with frustration. ”I need to start moving around, doing something.”

Rayth’s expression softens as he nods. ”We understand that,” he says, moving to meet me and offer his support without crowding me. ”But don”t push yourself too hard. Your body still needs time to heal.”

I nod, grateful but determined to prove that I”m not as fragile as I might seem. As we reach the kitchen island, Damon greets me with a kiss on the cheek. I look toward the takeout containers and ask, ”What are we eating, and can I help with anything?”

Damon smiles before opening one of the containers, and the scent of something rich in tomato reaches me. ”Italian. We have a few different options. Do you like pasta?” he asks.

I almost physically drool. ”If I could eat it every day without getting fat, I would,” I respond with a grin.

But Killian frowns. ”Why would you not eat something you enjoy so much? It wouldn”t make you fat if balanced in your other meals, and we would never judge you. Your body is your own, and we would worship it no matter what it looks like,” he states plainly.

I”m left speechless, stunned by his words. I stare at him wide-eyed, a mixture of surprise and gratitude swirling inside me. Before I can gather my thoughts, Rayth leans in close, his breath hot against my ear.

”Besides, more meat on your ass means more to grab onto and spank when I fuck you from behind,” he murmurs, his words making me flush with heat. Their acceptance and desire for me, exactly as I am, leaves me feeling cherished and desired in a way I”ve never experienced before.

Rayth proceeds to guide me over to the dining table and into a seat, while Damon and Killian gather plates and cutlery, bringing over the takeout. Killian settles at the head of the table and starts dishing out some of everything onto my plate before they each fill their own.

As I stare at the food before me, a pang of frustration hits me when I realize I can”t use my injured arm. It”s a sobering reminder of my limitations. Damon notices my hesitation and picks up a fork, holding it out toward me with a pointed look.

”You want to learn, precious. This is where you start,” he says softly, encouragingly.

Taking a deep breath, I reach out with my left hand to accept the fork. It feels awkward and unnatural, but I”m determined to try. I tentatively stab a piece of pasta and bring it to my mouth, feeling the weight of their supportive gazes upon me. The motion is clumsy, and I nearly fumble the fork, but I manage to get the food into my mouth without making a mess. I feel a sense of accomplishment wash over me. It”s a small victory, but it”s a start.

”That”s it, little dove. You”re doing great,” Rayth praises, a proud smile spreading across his face.

Encouraged by their support, I continue to eat, each bite feeling a little easier than the last. And as we share the meal together, I can”t help but feel grateful for their patience and belief in me. With their guidance, I know I”ll be able to overcome any obstacle that comes my way.

After finishing our meal, Damon, Killian, and Rayth clear the table and begin cleaning up the kitchen. I offer to help, but they insist that I should rest and let them take care of everything.

Feeling a little guilty for not being able to contribute more, I retreat to the living area and settle onto the couch, watching them work with a sense of admiration. They move around the kitchen with a seamless rhythm, each knowing exactly what needs to be done without needing to be asked.

When they finish, they join me on the couch. Killian leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, his expression serious. ”Damon told us what you discussed. Are you sure you want to do that?” he asks, his gaze searching mine. ”It”s one thing knowing how to defend yourself, but it”s something completely different to go out and kill a person as part of a job or because you”ve been ordered to. I”ve seen how it can affect some people.”

I take a deep breath, considering his words carefully. ”I”ve had so many choices taken away from me in my life,” I begin, my voice soft but resolute. ”Even when I chose to be with all of you at that cabin, that was taken away from me. I don”t want to be a victim anymore. I want to control my own life.”

I pause, gathering my thoughts before continuing. ”I know I spent a lot of time studying to help save lives, but since my mother died, I”ve experienced and learned so much about some of the evil that is out there,” I admit. ”When Rayth told me about what he and Damon did at St Andrew, it reminded me of when I had read about it initially, and I felt the same way as I did back then. I had found the article not long after he had already started abusing me, but before he fully destroyed the life I had been trying to build. I had been so proud of them when I read it, for destroying monsters like the one in my life. I wished that I could have helped, I wished that I had that superpower. All I could think of was how if I had a chance to take out someone like Owen and save others from him, then I would use my skills in a heartbeat.”

The weight of my words hangs in the air as Killian absorbs them, his expression thoughtful. After a moment, he nods with understanding. ”Okay,” he says simply. “We will teach you. Just promise me that you”ll always remember who you are and what you stand for. And no matter what happens, you”ll always have us by your side.”

I see the same understanding and acceptance reflected on all of their faces, and I smile gratefully, relief flooding me. We spend some time after that relaxing on the couch, Damon putting on a movie. I end up lying along the couch with my head in Rayth”s lap and my feet in Damon”s. Eventually, Killian moves to sit on the floor in front of me, as though he needs to be close to me too. My left hand automatically starts brushing through his long hair as we all watch the action movie on the screen.

Finally, when the movie ends and the good guys emerge victorious, Rayth leans down and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead. ”Killian is going to keep you company tonight, little dove. We will be down in the other apartment. He knows how to reach us if you need us,” he murmurs before helping me up.

Stifling a yawn, I simply nod and brush my lips against his before doing the same with Damon. They make their way out of the apartment as Killian leads me into the bedroom, directing me into the bathroom. He starts running a bath, testing the water until the temperature is right, before turning and helping me out of my clothes.

I”ve grown comfortable with the quiet moments I share with him, just as much as the times he talks to me. It makes those quiet moments more meaningful, knowing that he”s willing to do whatever it takes to make me feel comfortable. Once I”m naked, he helps me step into the bathtub, being careful to keep my bandaged arm out of the water.

Instead of simply leaving, he sits down next to the tub and leans against the wall, his presence comforting as I soak in the warm water, feeling the tension melt away from my muscles.

I let out a contented sigh, closing my eyes and relishing the warmth enveloping me. As the water laps gently against my skin, I turn to Killian, breaking the comfortable silence between us. ”How did you end up in The Order?” I ask, genuinely curious about his past.

He shifts slightly, his expression turning serious as he considers my question. ”Growing up, I always had issues with doing or saying the wrong thing. I never seemed to fit in, and as a result, I normally avoided people or going out in public altogether.

”Not long after I turned sixteen, something happened when I went out with my parents to celebrate my mother”s birthday,” he continues. ”On the way back to the car a couple of guys approached us, tried to steal from us, and when they threatened to do things to my mother, I lost control. I didn”t even think about the consequences. I just... reacted.

”I killed one of them with the knife they were threatening us with,” he admits. ”It was like I was watching from the outside, unable to stop myself. Afterward, my parents believed me to be possessed by a demon from hell and didn’t even show up for my court case. They disowned me and left me to fend for myself. But it was enough to get Owen’s attention. He helped me disappear in exchange for signing on to kill the people he wanted killed.”

I listen to Killian”s story, my heart heavy with sorrow for all that he”s been through. ”I”m so sorry, Killian,” I whisper, my voice filled with compassion.

He shrugs, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. ”It”s in the past now. Nothing can change the things that have happened in our past. It’s only our futures that are unwritten. Those are the stories that we have power over.”

I hum softly to acknowledge his words, finding a profound truth in them. Despite their simplicity and directness, there”s a wisdom that resonates deeply with me. After a moment of silence, I muster the courage to ask, ”And how do you want your future to be written?”

Killian”s smile widens, his gaze intense as he meets mine. ”By your side, delivering pain and death to those who harm you,” he declares, his voice low but filled with conviction.

He sits up, leaning over the side of the bath until his face is close to mine. ”My parents may have been right; I may be some sort of demon from hell. I warned you once about tempting us to corrupt you, and I meant it. There”s no turning back now. We will drag you to hell with us. We will never let you go,” he says, his words carrying a finality that should scare me but doesn’t. ”The three weeks we were apart almost drove the guys insane. I have never seen Damon and Rayth as close to losing themselves as they were during that time.”

My breath hitches at his words, my heart pounding in my chest. Everything inside me wants to close the gap between us, to press my lips to his and eagerly swallow the darkness he offers.

”And what about you?” I breathe out the question, my voice barely above a whisper.

”I”m already damned,” he replies, his tone simple and straightforward, as though he accepted that fate a long time ago. ”They are the only ones that keep me in line. If it happens again, there will be nothing, absolutely nothing that will stop me from tearing this world apart to get to you. I will slaughter anything and anyone standing between us.”

His words send a shiver down my spine, both thrilling and terrifying in equal measure. But deep down, I know that I wouldn”t want it any other way.