Chapter 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

JJ

Dr. Aziza Bakir was stunning. Like for real, as soon as I opened the door, I thought a model had gotten lost on her way to a photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz. But nope. She appeared happy to be there, held out her hand, and introduced herself.

"I'm JJ," I said like an idiot. It wasn't that I wanted to fuck her. No, I was one hundred percent gay. But she was stunning. Her long brown hair was shiny like in those shampoo commercials; she had flawless olive skin and dark eyes. She wore simple jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, nothing fancy but yeah, I could recognize art when I saw it.

"May I come in?"

"For fuck's sake, JJ." Angel pulled the door open all the way. "Hey, Z. Ignore JJ; he's a moron."

"Excuse me." That certainly got me out of my daydream.

"She's not meat."

A wave of guilt washed over me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to ogle. I'm super gay, but you're very lovely. I was taken aback, actually. For a few reasons. You think psychiatrist, and you envision a stereotype Hollywood has created."

Aziza smiled. "What's another reason?"

"Oh, you're Angel's friend. With his ugly personality, I didn't think he knew beautiful people."

She burst out laughing, and it only got louder once she took in Angel's scowl.

"You're delightful, JJ. I like you."

"Well, shit," Angel mumbled.

Once she'd calmed down, she patted Angel's arm. "You know I love you. Now where's the patient?"

"Kitchen. We just finished lunch, come with me." She followed behind Angel, and I followed behind her.

Nick and Noel had their laptops out on the breakfast bar. Maxwell was reading the newspaper, old-school style, and Four was staring at the table. Mason had left to trade off with Gabe at the hospital, so Gabe would be home soon.

"I'm going to guess that's my guy?" Aziza tilted her head as she regarded Four.

"Yep. So, want to go somewhere quieter?" Angel asked.

"Please. But I don't want to be alone with him. Without knowing the trauma and the triggers and minefields in his mind, it's wise I have people on hand to help if he lashes out."

"Angel and I can be with you." I walked over to Four and took his hand. "Come on, Four. We're going to go talk to the gorgeous woman I think Angel is paying to be his friend."

The twins snorted at the same time, and I was delighted by the annoyance evident on Angel's face.

Aziza was whispering something to Angel, but I was focused on Four. I'd noticed all morning that his eyes would wander at times, almost as though he wasn't as dormant as I'd thought. Maybe more time with us meant he'd be able to break free of whatever prison was holding him hostage.

"If he can sit in that chair there, I'll pull mine up to be closer and face him." Aziza motioned to the two wingback chairs on either side of the large sofa.

Angel and I set them in the center of the room, and I brought Four to where Aziza wanted him. He sat, hands on his thighs, and waited.

"Hello, Four. My name is Aziza. I'm just going to talk to you for a few minutes, and all I ask is that you listen to me, if that's okay?" She was studying his every move, so I had a feeling her talking was for a reason.

"I specialize in helping people who have been through horrific traumas. Some are locked inside their minds because it's the only safe space, and others are stuck in there, a prisoner in their own head."

Four didn't stir, so whatever she was doing had no effect.

"People are fascinating creatures. We have the ability to overcome great odds, fight illnesses that were set out to kill us, and achieve impossible goals. But with all the good, comes the bad, Four. See, as good as our brain is at helping us get to those places, it's also more fragile than anyone realizes. Sometimes all it takes is someone figuring out how to cut through the armor and bury themselves underneath it."

Still nothing. Aziza didn't seem bothered by that.

"The longer a person has been in the custody of…let's call them a monster, shall we?"

Four's fingers twitched and my eyes darted to Aziza, but of course she'd noticed.

"The longer that monster has them in their clutches, the longer the person believes its lies, and as soon as that happens, manipulation is easy."

Aziza's eyes were focused on me, and I swore she was trying to tell me something, but I wasn't sure.

"JJ, has anyone ever called you worthless?"

I flicked my eyes to Four before answering. "Uh, sure? I mean I don't know if worthless was the word."

"Tell us a time when someone was trying to tear you down."

Okay, I wasn't sure why that was helpful, but I'd do what she wanted. "In high school I was bullied a lot. I was a scrawny kid. They'd say I was a loser and nerd, typical macho dickhead stuff."

"How'd that make you feel?"

"Then? Pretty awful. I mean I wasn't a bad person, but they picked on me anyway."

She pursed her lips. "Did you ever believe them when they called you a loser?"

I thought about it. That was a long time ago, but I'd been an impressionable kid. "Yeah, I did."

"So you walked around being the loser they told you that you were?"

What the fuck, lady?

"I…" I glanced at Angel, and he nodded at me. "Yeah, I suppose I just lived each day as a loser."

"Did other people call you names when those boys did? I bet they did. I mean everyone can't be wrong, can they?"

"Are you calling me a loser?" My brows shot to my hairline. I wasn't sure if that was what I was supposed to do, but I didn't like this shift.

"Well, I mean…has anyone ever said you aren't a loser?" Aziza's chuckle was followed by Angel's laughter and… What the ever-loving ? —

"You shut up!" Four stood in front of me, almost guarding me, shooting daggers at Aziza and Angel.

They stopped laughing immediately. "Hello, Four." Aziza smiled. "I'm glad you could join us."

"What was that?" I asked as I carefully placed a hand on Four's arm.

"He's never gone, are you, Four? I've dealt with many people who have catatonia. You're not one of them, but you are conditioned. Aren't you?"

Four was breathing heavily, his gaze sharp and not leaving Aziza even to blink.

"When JJ found you, I imagine you were deeper into your head. Your training has made you that way, hasn't it? Your darkness that they keep you in until they need you?"

Four's hand closed into a fist, and a low growl rose from his chest.

"JJ's been kind to you. At some point, a switch went off in your head, didn't it?"

"Is that true, Four? Are you…can you talk to me?" I faced Four and met his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"JJ," Aziza said. "He's not one hundred percent. I need to talk to Four, though, and knowing he's not in a sort of catatonic state, I feel I can now."

I turned to Aziza. "You baited him?"

"I did."

"How'd you know he'd defend me?"

"I didn't completely. But you guide him around, and he gets a slightly softer expression on his face when you touch him or speak. I believe Four has imprinted on you a bit. You provide a safety for him he has either never had or had so long ago, only the shadow of the memory lingers. He'd want to protect that."

"You gathered all that information in…" I glanced at the clock on the mantel. "Forty minutes?"

"You think it's a lot, but it's not." She gestured to the chair. "Please have a seat, Four. I really do want to talk to you. I didn't mean what I said to JJ, but I needed you to wake up."

I faced Four and he was looking right at me. "I'm okay, Four."

He sighed but did sit. I chose to stand beside him, and I hoped that relaxed him.

"I know you're likely thinking I manipulated the situation, and you'd be right. Some of my colleagues frown upon that, but in dire situations risks need to be taken."

"Mean."

Aziza nodded. "It was, and I'll be nice to JJ from here on out."

Four nodded once.

"Shall we begin, Four?"

Another nod and Aziza asked her first question that set the whole tone.

"At what age is your first memory, and what was it?"

"I was very small, no age, screaming. A lot of screaming."

Maybe I should sit down after all.