Chapter 15 - Jasper

My heart skipped as I heard Nile say the name of my mark. I wasn't prepared to capture her right now, given the fact that April had disrupted my plan, but at least Penelope's arrival would give me the opportunity to get more information about how to go about my next attempt.

I turned my attention to the doorway and was stunned when a young girl, no more than five, entered the room.

"Penelope, this is Jasper and April," Nile said.

"Hi," the little girl said, skipping over to the chair where Nile sat.

"It's nice to meet you, Penelope," April said, smiling at the child.

I kicked myself for not realizing that the alpha's "precious loved one" could have been someone other than a girlfriend or a wife. How would I explain this to my pack? What would they want me to do, given these new circumstances?

"My daughter Penny here is the light of my life," Nile explained.

The girl giggled as he tapped her on the nose. "Can I have a snack, Dad?" she asked.

"Of course, pumpkin. Grayson's in the kitchen now if you need help," he said.

She hugged Nile before leaving the room in search of a snack. If he hadn't called her his daughter, I would have thought Nile was her grandfather, given his advanced age. I wondered what the story was there, but couldn't think of a polite way to ask. Luckily, I didn't have to. April was much better than me at conversations and was already encouraging Nile to speak about his family.

"You seem like a wonderful father," she said to our host. "Have you two lived here long?"

"Yes, I've lived in this home since I married my late wife. That was over fifteen years ago," he said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," April said quietly at the mention of his wife's passing.

"My mate was a wonderful woman," Nile said. "Strong, beautiful, and intelligent. I've never met her equal. We tried for years to have a child before the wolf god finally answered our prayers. But the pregnancy was difficult, and my Odessa didn't survive the birth of our baby girl."

"That must have been so hard, raising a child and grieving your mate," April said, compassion evident in her voice.

"It was," Nile said simply. "It still is. But I've never been one to let the bad times wipe away all the good ones. The years I had with my wife were full of joy, and now that she's gone, there is still so much to be thankful for. I may not have her, but I still have a piece of her."

Nile had to be the most optimistic person I had ever encountered. The more he spoke, the more sick I felt. The thought of taking this man's daughter—his whole world—from him was gutting me.

I needed to get out of this room. Now.

"Would you mind if I used your restroom?" I asked, standing up quickly.

"Of course, it's just down the hall," Nile said. "Cory can show you the way."

The man standing by the door led me to the bathroom two doors down from the living room, and I shut the door behind me.

Get it together, Jasper, I told myself. This is what needs to be done. You promised your pack a home. This is how we get it.

I sat down on the edge of the bathtub and began to hyperventilate at the choice I was facing. I either needed to kidnap a child from a loving home—the very opposite of what I wanted to happen—or give up on presenting my pack with the home I had promised them. It was an impossible choice. No matter what I decided, I would be forced to go against a part of who I was.

Should I betray myself, or my pack?

I had no idea what to do.

A sudden knock on the door interrupted my thought spiral.

"Just a minute," I said tersely.

No one could see me in this state. I needed to pull myself together, but I couldn't get any air into my lungs.

"Jasper, let me in. It's me," April said through the door.

When I didn't respond, she opened it and came inside, locking the door behind her.

"You were gone awhile," she explained. "Are you okay? What happened?"

I shook my head, unable to speak. My breath was coming in spurts, and I was becoming light-headed from lack of oxygen. Pretty soon, I was going to black out, leaving me unconscious in the home of an enemy alpha. There was nothing I could do to prevent it.

I'm going to die here , I thought.

April knelt in front of me, placing her hands on my shoulders and forcing me to look into her eyes. A wrinkle of concern creased the space between her eyebrows as she analyzed my posture.

"Look at me," she said calmly. "You're having a panic attack, but you're totally safe. I'm here, and I'm going to help you breathe through it."

She took a deep breath in, indicating that I should do the same, and then breathed out. I shook my head at her again, removing her hands from my shoulders. If I had the strength to get her out of the room, I'd do it, but all I could manage to do was focus on not losing consciousness.

"Stop being so stubborn," she whispered.

She remained seated in front of me, continuing to take deep breaths in and out to show what I should be doing. After a few minutes of struggling, I gave in, allowing her to lead me through her breathing exercises.

When I regained control, I put my head in my hands, ashamed of my reaction to our current situation. "I'm sorry," I said. "This isn't how an alpha should act."

"Jasper, stop that. You're being too hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with you—people have panic attacks all the time," she replied.

I looked into her eyes, and I almost believed her.

"Why did you help me?" I asked. "How are you so… so… good all of the time?"

She smiled at me encouragingly and placed a hand on the side of my face without answering. Staring into her eyes, I suddenly desired her more in this moment than I ever had before. This strange woman, forced to be my mate, was overcoming every obstacle in her path. Her strength and compassion were matched only by her beauty.

With her hand still on my face, we leaned toward each other, our lips meeting softly. I stood, pulling her to her feet without breaking our kiss. Her hands were entwined in my hair now while I explored her soft curves before setting her on the counter next to the sink.

I pulled down the collar of her shirt, trailing kisses down her neck as far as the fabric would allow me. She moaned when I reached the top of her breast, and I felt my blood rush down to my groin. I returned my amorous attention to her lips. I felt drawn to her, needing more than anything to taste her tongue and feel her sweet breath across my face.

When I began to unbutton my pants, she seemed to come out of a trance. She placed her hands on my own, stilling them.

"Wait," she said breathlessly. "I can't sleep with you."

"I wasn't intending to sleep," I joked.

"I'm serious," April said. "After what happened yesterday, I can't have sex with you again. Not until you realize that I'm not trying to take advantage of you or hurt you. When you realize that I have meant everything I've ever said to you, then maybe it can happen again, but right now…"

Her voice trailed off, and we both stood awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed.

"We should go," I said, breaking the tense silence.

I helped her down from her place on the counter and led her back out to where Nile sat waiting for us.

"Everything alright?" the man asked, genuine concern coloring his tone.

"Yes, just fine," I replied. "In fact, our friends said they'll meet us just down the street and take us back to our cabin, so we'll be heading out now."

"Thank you so much for your hospitality," April added.

"Of course, it was no trouble," Nile said with a smile. "Feel free to stop by anytime. I'm always pleased to have the company."

We thanked him again and left on foot, heading for the car that I knew would be waiting for us. They were sure to have questions when I came back with April instead of Penelope—questions that I didn't really have answers for.

The fact of the matter was that I was more confused than ever.