Chapter Twenty-Five - Ava

One eye opens slowly, the environment foreign to me. Discombobulated, I panic, touching the sheets, opening both eyes, but looking around the room recognizing the furnishings, the bedding, the smell, the chair arrangements and the big screen TV on the wall. Mostly I recognize what happened the last time I was here.

Entrapment. I’m in Dimitri’s home, in the exact same room he kept me as his prisoner the first time. Doom sets in as I lay back down, the sun’s warmth shining on my back as I check the time. Normally I would be checking on Ethan and getting him ready for Emily. I would be feeding him, dressing him, ready to head out the door to Thompson and Associates. I hated telling Mark I had to resign. It took all my willpower to walk into his office and give up on my career, but it was either that or lose my son, and I couldn’t stomach being without Ethan, having carried him for nine months.

“Mark, can I speak to you for a minute?”

“Sure. Come on in. I wanted to talk to you too. You did a stellar job with Anatoly. Andy is impressed. He’s ready to come back onto the account and take the reins. I can tell you, that’s the type of teamwork that gets you a run at partner down the line.” Hearing Mark say that sent my heart plummeting to my feet, but making the ultimate sacrifice to be with my son was what I had to do.

“Then you’re going to hate what I have to say to you next,” I winced, sitting down, feeling like the most miserable woman in the world. The great irony of it all was if Andy hadn’t broken anything, I would have been able to go on with my life, and Dimitri might never have known of his son.

But in many ways that wasn’t fair to Ethan. As he got older, I suspected he would have asked more about his father, and I would have had to tell him the truth regardless.

“I gotta say, I don’t like the way you’re starting this out, but go on.”

“I have to resign and go back to Chicago. It’s a really long story, and I don’t want to scar you with the details of, but the short story is Ethan’s father is back in his life, and I want him to know him and be raised with him,” I lied, knowing if I told Mark the outrageous truth about Dimitri and Anatoly being his business partner he would leap into action immediately. I couldn’t risk it, for my sake or for Ethan’s. I didn’t doubt Dimitri’s power. If he wanted to shut down a law firm, I’m sure he could.

“Damn, Ava. You’re right on the brink of something magnificent in your career, but hey I get it. You’ve got a kid, and I understand. I’ve got two, but can’t you split time?”

I stared down at my hands, a sense of melancholy plummeting me deep into my emotions. I couldn’t sit talking to him about it anymore, because it hurt so badly to leave. I’d built myself up all on my own without Dimitri, and he’d come in and torn it all down in a couple of weeks.

“No. I’m afraid not. I have to go. Is there anyone I can hand over my clients to?”

“Ava, you’re leaving me in a tight position, but sounds like you’re in one too. I can split your client list between Andy and me until I find someone for mergers and acquisitions. Do me a favor, though. Don’t give up law. You’re too good at it.”

Sorrow filled my heart as I packed up my desk, and explained to Ethan that “the man” he saw at the hospital was his father.

“That’s my dad? He has the same hair as me!”

“Yeah, he does. But we have to leave this home and go to a new home. You’re going to love it there.”

And that part was the truth. Dimitri can give Ethan what I can’t. I pull back the sheets heading into the room next door where Ethan is sleeping. I’ve never traveled far with him, so I don’t know how he’ll go, but he loved the plane and laughed when there was turbulence. That was a good sign.

I listen to the soft whisper of him snoozing as he lays on his side, oblivious to what’s really going on. I hate that I have to be here like this, but Dimitri’s going to be good to him, I can tell. Maybe it’s better he’s here and he’ll have a safer future. I watched the way he played with him on the plane, and it was as if he was already a father to Ethan.

Lost in the transition as I walk out, I think about what I want to do with my life now that I’ve been forced to come back to Chicago. Maybe I can find work in the city, and things will be okay. I can get back some sort of routine. Will Dimitri even allow me to work?

Having that conversation with him bristles the hairs on my neck, and I can already predict him shutting me down. A sharp ache rides through my heart. All this from Cindy’s betrayal. She cost me the life of my dreams, and I’ll never forgive her. Being back in the same city frustrates me as much as being cooped up under Dimitri’s rule does.

I don’t know how to be. What to do. If I can talk to the staff and get food for me and my son and how to organize things. My head whirls when I think about the logistics of having to navigate parenthood with a monster who only wants to keep me caged for his benefit.

Taking the chance, I walk down the cold corridor with bare feet towards the kitchen. I think it’s this way, if I remember right. There it is. The scent of the man holding me hostage, and his bedroom door is slightly ajar. I stop in front of it, close by, until I hear a voice. It’s a woman’s voice. Shocked, I tell myself I shouldn’t be. It’s been four years, and I saw the ring on Dimitri’s hand.

Of course he has another lover.

“Dimitri. You’re not thinking straight. You can’t have Ava in the same house as us. Are you mad?” Her accent sounds Russian. Where have I heard that accent before? “I don’t give a flying fuck if she is Ethan’s mother.”

“I don’t want to hear it, Cara. He’s my son and I’ve made my decision,” Dimitri declares angrily as the wind from the door being yanked back shocks me. As my mouth drops open, Cara emerges, and I understand what the game is. Ekaterina won after all. She’s the one she wanted Dimitri to marry, and here she is, sharing a bed with Dimitri, replacing me.

Cara sends me a look that could kill as she swoops past me. “Nice play with the kid, you bitch,” she hisses, startling me, but I retaliate swiftly.

“I didn’t bring myself here. Your fiancé did,” I remind her coldly, sending her a deathful dagger of my own.

“Gah,” she stalks out of the room to the kitchen, forcing my pulse to increase as I peek inside the room, Dimitri’s shirtless, the ink of his past etched into his back. Flashes of him flood back into my mind. Him shirtless. The mirror above the bed. The things we did…. All of the sweet murmurings the morning after, breakfast in bed, the good life. I kill my feelings, pushing them down somewhere where they can never be found, but my mind doesn’t let me run so easily.

Did he use the mirror with Cara? Did he? Dimitri’s back is faced away from me, but I wonder. You have a right to think about it. It’s not jealousy. Overriding my denial, I stand rooted to the spot, waiting for Dimitri to notice me.

Almost as if he senses my presence at the door, his head swivels. The room doesn’t smell like sex. Maybe they’re not as close as they should be. “Come in, Ava.”

“That was your fiancée?” I ask, but it’s more of a statement rather than a question.

“Yes,” he snickers, his blue eyes as arresting as ever. “Are you jealous, Ava?” he jabs, trying to hurt me, but I deny any feelings I’m having, rolling my eyes at him instead.

“I don’t care about her. I came to find you to ask about working in Chicago. At a new law firm,” I say plainly. “There’s no point dancing in the shadows with Dimitri. If I want to get anywhere with him, I have to lead with the same integrity I always have.

Dimitri scans me from top to toe, rubbing his hands together, gleeful that my fate is in his hands. With the slight curve of his mouth, he gives me a look of dismissal.

“Let me make myself clear so we have an understanding. You’re only here to take care of Ethan. Nothing else. You will be a present mother, and you won’t be working until he’s old enough and I say so. Once Ethan’s old enough—and that’s for me, also, to decide, I’m getting rid of you,” he reveals icily.

“You’re a fucking monster! I’m Ethan’s mother. You can’t kick me out of Ethan’s life.” The fierceness leaps out of me, and I want to attack. I won’t be taken from Ethan, and Dimitri has taken this stupid power tripping too far.

“Oh, but Ms. Knight. I can and I will. You betcha. I can send you straight to hell and back.”

“The only reason you’re doing this is because you think I slept with someone else. You’re going to fuck up Ethan’s life. Stop and think about what you’re doing. Get off this stupid vendetta of yours. I’ve suffered enough,” I tell him, my voice shaky, and my body quivering from head to toe, but from the glint in Dimitri’s eye it’s as if he likes to see me distraught and falling apart.

“Ms. Knight. I warned you. And I’m only getting started,” Dimitri sneers, the “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” side of him materializing.

“You can’t act like this. You have a son. Don’t you think he’s going to end up hating you when he finds out what you’ve done.”

“Then he’s never going to find out, and I’m going to paint you as the villain. I don’t know… hmm, what story can I make up. Oh, how about your mother ran off with another man. Sound familiar, Ms. Knight?” Dimitri pitches, his repeated story sad to listen to.

“Do you believe the lies you buy into, Dimitri?” I hiss back at him, but I watch his face change from one of anger to calm and serene. I turn to see Ethan standing at the door, his head bowed looking confused and sad with Mr. Bear in his hand. Shit. He heard us. My heart breaks when I see his face.

“What’s going on?” Ethan asks as I find the strength to pretend for the sake of my son.

“Nothing, honey. We didn’t mean to wake you up. I was talking to your father and saying how much I want us to get along since we’re all going to be living in the house together.”

Dimitri wants to glare at me, I can tell from the way his mouth twitches, but instead he smiles at Ethan.

“I agree with your mother. I want you to be happy here in your new home. Your mother and I are working out the details, that’s all.” His voice is smoky, and his attitude completely different. It’s amazing how quickly he can turn it off and on, and the way he’s talking to his son is heartwarming and heartbreaking all at the same time. Ethan wobbles forward, putting his small hand in mine.

“Mommy, do they have chocolate milk here like they do at our place? Can I have some?”

Both Dimitri and I grin at the same time. “Yes. We have chocolate milk right here at your new home. Coming right up.”

Ethan is the strand keeping us civil, and he’s the one person we’re both wanting to keep happy. Other than that, I’m not holding out for hope for anything else.