Chapter 24

Billy and Crystal were lying top to tail on the sofa. Billy was reading and Crystal was scrolling on her phone, as usual. He had long since given up trying to persuade her to try a book.

The radio played in the background to soften the silence. Billy realised he would miss this while she was at summer camp. He enjoyed being with someone.

He had bought the flat when he'd been with his ex. Crystal moving in and his ex leaving had a very small overlap. Nate had had no intention of sharing the burden. Billy hadn't seen him for years. The last he heard, Nate was living in New York. That would probably suit him.

Then something struck him.

I've never lived on my own.

It was a sobering thought. During uni days and pre-Nate he had lived in a variety of house shares. Even if it was temporary, the idea of being truly alone startled him.

"I wonder what kind of place we'll have up north," he said.

Crystal lowered her phone.

"Can I say something?" she said.

Billy frowned. "Of course you can."

She looked nervous. His stomach clenched.

Fuck, she's had bad news.

"I'm not sure you coming to Manchester is going to work."

Billy's jaw dropped. "Really?"

"Don't interrupt me, okay? Promise?"

Taking a breath to brace himself, Billy sat up. "Promise."

"You've done so much for me since Mum went. But I'm fifteen, nearly sixteen," she said. "I want to do it myself. I need to."

The earnest expression on her face mainlined straight to his heart.

"I understand," Billy said. "I only wanted to be there in case you needed back up now and again."

"I know and I love you for it. I'll be fine. I can do it."

"Oh, darling, of course you can."

"Don't think I won't be begging you to come up loads."

"Okay, well maybe we could invest in a place. When the money comes through. You don't have to live there. It would be somewhere for me to stay. I still want to explore Manchester, thank you."

The relief coming off Crystal was palpable.

"Have you been worrying about telling me?" Billy asked.

Crystal nodded.

"You silly thing. All I've ever asked of you is honesty. What did Mum always say?"

"No truth is as bad as a lie."

"Dead on."

"That's what Eddie said."

Adrenalin coursed through his system at the very mention of Eddie. "What? You've seen him?"

"Yeah. I went to say goodbye."

Of course she would. In the blink of an eye his little sister had turned into a compassionate young woman.

"And what exactly did he say?"

"That I should tell you the truth. How he didn't and it's ruined everything."

Even through this second-hand hit, Billy's addiction to Eddie suddenly reignited. "How did he look?"

"Shit."

"Anything else?"

"Not really. He seemed really down that he'd fucked it all up. That's all."

Billy stared out of the window. He didn't even have the energy to tell Crystal off for her language. Let Manchester United worry about that.

The marina below seemed pretty quiet. So Eddie was down, was he? Why did that make Billy feel hopeful?

He couldn't let that in. Once Crystal got herself settled in Manchester, Billy would focus on finding a decent man.

"I bet you can't wait to get your old life back," Crystal said. "It's been four years."

"Yeah," Billy replied.

Crystal scrambled off the sofa. "I'm going to finish my packing."

She went off to her bedroom. Billy watched her go.

My old life?

That was long gone. He'd kept a few friends that he saw occasionally. Disco nights had soon been replaced by school run mornings. Everyone had eventually drifted away.

The realisation that he didn't have a life to go back to hit Billy like a truck. He got to his feet and walked out onto the balcony for some fresh air. It was almost dusk. The bars and eateries that lined the marina were packed.

So that's where everyone is.

Billy watched the couples chatting away, sharing jokes and funny stories. Of course, Eddie crashed into his head. It had been sweet of Crystal to go and say goodbye. Yet even that had ripped the scab off the wound.

The possibility that Eddie was having the same thoughts across town was almost too much to bear.

Billy got his phone out of his back pocket and dialled.

"Hello?"

"Can you come over?"

The car swung into a space. Billy was perched on a wall waiting.

When the door opened, Billy felt a little easier.

"Little brother," Harry said, walking over to him. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry for dragging you over. I needed to talk. You weren't too busy, were you?"

Harry sat next to him "I just about survived bathing Lennox. I'm good for a beer. You're buying."

"Deal."

They wandered toward the marina. Billy had a favourite bar that was tucked in the corner.

"He's not a fan then? Of baths."

Harry made a face. "I'd rather go in the ring with a six-foot Yorkshire guy."

Inside, the customers were jammed together like sardines. A sunny Friday night always brought out the punters. Billy spied a spot right in the corner.

"Go and grab it," he said to Harry and pointing.

"Shit, you're good."

Harry wandered over. He seemed completely oblivious that the crowd parted as he walked through. It was as though his sheer bulk made people subconsciously move.

"Two Peronis, please," Billy said, handing a twenty-pound note over.

As the barman did his thing, Billy stared across at Harry. He was gigging at something on his phone.

If only Mum could see this.

His drinks arrived. He left a fiver on the bar.

As he walked over to Harry, he noticed the punters didn't so much as budge an inch for him. Typical.

He sat down. "Bloody hell, it's busy."

"Well, you will live in the marina. My local would have seats and cheaper prices."

"But you have a car."

They clinked bottles and took swigs. Fuck he needed that.

"Right then, out with it. What's the code red emergency?" Harry asked.

"Crystal told me she wants to go it alone."

"Shit."

Shit indeed.

"What did you say?" Harry asked.

"I told her I was proud of her and it didn't matter."

"I get the feeling that's not strictly true."

Billy's bottom lip trembled. "I don't know what's the matter with me. I'm fucking terrified, Harry."

"Of what?"

"Being alone."

He took another mouthful of beer. Billy knew how pathetic he must sound. Harry was still competing and raising two kids.

"Billy, I can't say this enough. Everything that girl achieves is down to you."

It meant such a lot to hear this. Billy was rapidly losing his battle for composure.

"Crystal is right," Harry continued. "Now is your time again. Finally, the fucking shop is going to be off your hands. You're easily going to worm your way into this practice."

Billy hadn't even considered that. Although now it had become airborne, he found he quite liked the idea.

"Anyway, you won't be on your own. You've got two nephews who love the bones of you. And your brother quite likes you too. Don't even get me started on your number-one fan, otherwise known as my wife."

Now Billy did shed a tear. He hugged his brother tightly. They had been through so much as kids. To have him fighting his corner again made his heart want to explode.

They separated. Billy wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "What a wuss."

"Now that's true."

"You'll never guess who persuaded her to be honest with me about it all."

Harry frowned. "Who?"

"Eddie."

His eyes widened. "Wow. You've had a fucking nightmare tonight."

Billy laughed. "You could say that. Bloody hell."

"I guess that means there's someone else in Brighton who cares for you."

"Don't."

"Can't you stop being so pig-headed? Just this once. The guy is obviously regretting everything that's happened."

Billy shook his head. "I've no space in my life for liars."

"You're being way too harsh. He's a salesman. It's not like you were already involved and he ripped us off. We've only ourselves to blame for being too fucking stupid."

Maybe that was the real problem. Deep down, Billy had been humiliated by Eddie. Even if it were indirectly.

"Look at the sacrifice he's made," Harry continued, clearly warming to his theme. "He's thrown that job away to allow us to get rid of Brian. That's not the behaviour of a cold-hearted liar, is it?"

"When did you get so insightful?"

Harry swigged his beer. "Kim always has those true crime documentaries on. We're getting really good at spotting psychopaths."

Billy shook his head. "You fucking nutter."

"Seriously. Think again about it. You and Eddie were pretty good together. Crystal never stops banging on about him."

"I'll think about it," Billy said. "This weekend is about getting Crystal off to Manchester."

They clinked bottles.

Then he would have to face the future head-on. No matter what shape it took.