20. Chapter Twenty

Matty

With the door shut firmly behind me, I leaned heavily against it for a moment, fighting the tears that threatened to spill out. My mind was reeling.

I knew that it was huge news for Jared to be invited back on tour, but another three months? There was no way I'd survive it. No way we'd survive it. Our chances of getting married were vanishingly slim if he accepted the offer, and of course he'd accept the offer. He'd be crazy not to. Turning down this offer would end his career, squash his dreams of being a professional musician. I couldn't let him say no. It meant too much to him. And if he did return to the tour, well… it would be back to Norway for me.

I wanted—needed—to rip off the bandage. If I was going to be sent packing, I needed to do it immediately. I didn't want to sit around waiting to be deported. I pushed myself off the door and rummaged for my passport in the drawers of the dresser I'd taken over. It was tucked in next to my socks and boxers, and I pulled it out and placed it on the top of the dresser. The next thing I needed to do was pack, I supposed. I grabbed a suitcase from under the bed and tossed it on the duvet before haphazardly dumping my socks and underwear inside.

The door behind me creaked open, and the dam burst, tears coursing down my cheeks. I hated that I was crying, hated that it had all meant so much to me only to get yanked away, and I hated that Jared was going to have to witness my overflow of emotion. I didn't bother looking behind me, just busied myself with staring hard into my suitcase and moving my hands to fold the clothes.

He took a few quiet steps to me and put his hands on my biceps, pulling me close to him, his chest pressed against my back. "Hey. What are you doing?" His voice was low and quiet in my ear. I shook my head and squirmed away from him. Jared moved to my side and took my hand in his, stilling me from my frantic folding. "Min kj?reste. Talk to me."

Hearing the Norwegian expression come from his mouth broke something inside me. I dropped the socks I'd been matching and turned to him, my stomach churning with acid. My chin quivered as I spoke, but at least the tears had slowed. "I'm packing."

"But why?"

"You're leaving again. We won't have time to get married before you go. So obviously that means I have to go back. Alone."

Jared shook his head and pulled me into a tight embrace. When he spoke, his tone was firm and left no room for argument. "No. You're not going back."

"Jared, I—" I took a shaky breath as emotion threatened to overcome me again. The urge to pull away was intense, but instead, I buried my face in his neck, inhaled his scent deeply. I clung to him, arms holding him against me like I was drowning and he was my salvation. "I don't have a choice."

He chuckled darkly and pulled away to meet my gaze. "Well, that's just not true. We have the visa. We have almost two months still. We're going to get married. You're not leaving me."

"But—"

"You honestly think that now that I've got you, I'm letting you go that easily?"

"The tour."

He half grinned and shrugged. "There will be others."

"What about your career?"

Jared stepped back, holding me at arm's length. "Listen to me. Are you listening?"

I took a big, shuddering breath and nodded, sniffling.

"I'm not leaving you. Not now, not ever. Not if I can help it. You're more important to me than some stupid pipe dream of fame. Now that I have you, I won't ever let you go. Understand?" I nodded, overwhelmed by how sure he was. "It's been fifteen years of us, and we're finally together. I can't just walk away from that for a stupid job."

"But…" He waited for me to finish my thoughts. "This is such a huge opportunity for you. I can't let you turn it down."

"It's not your choice. I already told Charlie I'm not going. I also told her to get the hell out of my house, for what it's worth. I don't need any manufactured fucking drama trying to screw up our relationship. Not now. Not when we're this close to getting what we want."

I laughed, a watery, weak sound. "You kicked her out?"

He shrugged and pulled me in close again, chuckling. "I did."

"What about the show?"

"I guess we'll have to figure that out. But what's important is you knowing you're safe. I'm here for the long haul. Now… are we okay?"

I squeezed him tight. "Ja. We're okay." I hesitated a moment before adding one last thing. "Elsker deg."

He swallowed hard, his throat moving against me where I held him close. "Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I am."

Jared's reply was just a whisper. "I love you too, Matty."

We held each other for several long moments, Jared running his fingers along the nape of my neck and stroking the hair there until my tears subsided. When I was sure I had my emotions under control again, I turned my face to Jared's and sought his mouth for a kiss. He kissed me back, slowly and tenderly at first, sliding his hand to cup my jaw, and stroking my cheek with his thumb. His other hand drifted to my lower back, holding me close. I opened my mouth a bit and Jared immediately took the cue, sliding his tongue inside along mine. We stood there kissing for a long time, deep and unhurried, my heart full as his words sank in.

At some point, there was a shift in the heat between us, the thick ridge of Jared's erection pressing into my hip, my own cock hardening at the sensation. I hummed into his mouth pleasantly and rocked my hips against his. Jared exhaled sharply and tightened his grip on my back, burying his fingers in the fabric of my shirt. He gently turned us so my back was to the bed before crowding into my space, making me back up until the mattress pressed into the backs of my legs.

Stumbling a little, I sat down, pulling him to me and spreading my knees a little to make space for him. Jared stepped away for a second, and I furrowed my brow, confused. He grabbed the suitcase I'd haphazardly been packing and unceremoniously dropped it on the floor at the foot of the bed.

A moment later, he stepped forward again and slotted one thigh between my legs. He pressed forward, grinding it against my groin, and continued to kiss me, his breathing speeding up. I groaned and rocked forward, seeking friction against his thigh. My body and mind warred against each other, both wanting the sensations to last forever, and wanting to hurry things along, to get to the next step.

We kissed for so long that I felt like I was going to burst into flames soon. Before I could urge Jared on, he dropped his hand from my jaw to the hem of my shirt and yanked it up and over my head before tossing it aside. He stepped back and let his gaze ravage me, groaning appreciatively.

His voice came out hushed, almost reverent. "Fuck, you're beautiful."

My body heated under his gaze, a flush crawling up my throat, and I squirmed in place. "Please," I murmured, reaching a hand for him.

Jared nodded and ran his fingers through his hair. "Yeah." Moments later, his shirt fell to the ground and he was stepping out of his jeans and boxers before closing in on me again. I reached for his cock, gripping it in one hand and bracing myself on the mattress with the other, before dragging my thumb across the slit, where beads of moisture clung to the crown. He moaned softly and pressed his forehead against mine as I stroked him slowly.

After a few strokes, Jared pushed my hand away gently. "You're wearing too many clothes," he said with a chuckle.

"Fair point." I unfastened my jeans and he yanked them down to my knees before tugging them off completely, taking my boxers along with them.

"Jesus," he muttered, drinking all of me in.

I let out a quiet little laugh. "It's not like you haven't seen me like this before."

"This time's different," he said simply before stepping forward, taking my aching cock in his hand, and dipping down to take it in his mouth.

I cried out and shuddered, putting a hand on his head and tangling my fingers in his hair. Jared sank to his knees carefully, keeping his mouth on me the whole time. When he hit the floor, he sucked harder, his cheeks hollowing obscenely, my cock leaking precum like never before. The urge to tip my head back and close my eyes battled with the desire to watch him take me apart, piece by piece.