17. Chapter Seventeen

Jared

I settled onto the motel bed with my laptop, having convinced the rest of the touring artists that I absolutely needed a room to myself that night. Because they all readily agreed, I suspected they knew exactly what I had in mind. A moment later, the video call sprang to life and I was delighted to see Matty's face smiling brightly at me from the comfort of his bed. I was not delighted to see that his face was also covered in a wide, purple and yellow bruise, blossoming outward from the bridge of his nose.

"What the hell happened to you?"

He winced. "Kickball accident. I ended up with a spectacularly bloody nose. It's not broken though. I did have it checked out once the bleeding stopped."

"Good grief," I murmured. "I've been gone a week and they're already beating you up."

"Is this what the initiation is really like?" His tone was dry, but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

I grinned and shook my head. "No hazing typically. Just kickball and beer."

"Well, I certainly got a dose of both of those things as well. Enough about my face, though. Tell me about the tour. How is it so far?"

"It's been great. Nobody's tried to break my nose yet, so that's a plus." He rolled his eyes fondly and I kept going. "The bands have been super welcoming, actually. Young Spades is made up of a bunch of queer men and they're all in serious relationships, which is cool. It's nice not to be the only one. It also means they understand when I say I absolutely don't want to be bothered while I'm on this call."

A slow smile spread across his face. "Oh?"

"And we're in the same time zone, for today at least. I can't promise that every call will be, but it's better than being six hours apart, isn't it?"

He shifted in his seat, relaxing a little farther down on the bed and shifting his laptop onto his stomach. "That does sound nice," he murmured.

"Would you like to, you know…" My heart pounded. He'd not rejected my advances, exactly, but definitely hadn't been as eager as I was to get back to exploring each other's bodies. He hadn't explained why, so I didn't know if it was fear, regret, or something else entirely.

"Would I like to what?" He smirked.

I cleared my throat nervously. My voice was low and husky when I finally spoke. "I've been thinking about you all day. About waking up with you in my arms… and other things."

Matty's reply was breathless and quiet. "Ja? What other things?"

I squirmed in my spot as my cock swelled, fighting the urge to palm my bulge. My voice was barely a whisper. "I miss you, Matty."

"Let's see if we can do something about that, then." His tongue slid out and wet his lower lip and he raised one eyebrow before his laptop jostled. When the video settled, the laptop was positioned next to him on the bed a little distance away. From that vantage point, I could see his entire upper body, all the way down to his groin.

My cock responded immediately, hardening fully, as I balled my hands into fists and groaned. "God. I really miss you."

"What would you do if you were here with me?" He smirked, running his hands along his chest and abdomen.

"I—Jesus." I was already panting, aching to touch him. "First thing I'd do is pull that shirt off." When Matty complied, yanking the white t-shirt over his head and tossing it aside, a thrill ran through me.

"What else?"

"Your jeans. I'd take them off, too."

"You're in such a hurry." He trailed his fingertips across his pecs, circling his nipples. "You wouldn't want to touch me first? Tease me? Make it last?"

I let out a strangled laugh. "I don't think I'd be able to do that, not with the way I'm feeling right now."

He dipped one hand below the waistband of his jeans, fingertips disappearing under the fabric. As he did, he dropped his knees open wide and tipped his head back, eyes fluttering closed. "I guess I can forgive you for that." A second later, he looked at me again, eyes dark. He shimmied out of his jeans, taking off his boxers with them, and in an instant, I had almost a full view of his naked body, from head to thighs.

My cock ached and leaked a drop of precum. I bit back a whimper as he rolled to his side, his thick, heavy erection in one hand.

"Now you."

I didn't hesitate, just stripped down and sat my laptop on the nightstand so he could get a similar view of my body. Once I had disrobed completely, I settled back on the bed on my side, mirroring Matty, teasing my thumb through the moisture on the crown of my cock.

He licked his lips again and nodded, a deep groan rumbling from his chest. He muttered something in Norwegian that sounded like Gud hjelpes—God help me.

"Yeah?" I squeezed my leaking erection and bucked my hips into my fist erratically. "Matty, please," I murmured, desperate for breath. I didn't even know what I was asking for. I just knew I missed him. I wanted him. I needed him.

He nodded. "Ja. Greit." With that, his hand moved, stroking his cock with a tight fist, his gaze locked on me.

I couldn't stop the groan that ripped from my body. As he touched himself, I did the same, stroking my cock, which was slick with precum, while I let my free hand caress my chest, the same way he was doing.

"I've missed you too," he said softly as he slid his hand along his erection. "So much. I thought—" He let out a breathy gasp. "I thought I'd be used to it by now. But it's worse."

I nodded in agreement. It was worse, because we'd connected in such a deep way, and I hated missing him. "You should be here with me."

"Ja. I know. I miss you so much. It's not fair that we finally figured it out, and now we're apart."

"It's true. I keep thinking of how you tasted on my tongue that night. And your hand on me."

"How does it feel, when you think of it?"

"So good. I've basically been a walking erection." The precum, copious and slick, dripped from my crown. "Want you, Matty."

For a second his eyes fluttered closed. "I'm…" He looked at me again, searching for something.

"Yeah. Me too." I took a tight breath and squeezed harder. "So close." We watched each other in silence for several long moments before the heat building in my gut and my groin became nearly unbearable. "Tell me when?"

"Please," he murmured. "N?. I want to see it. See you."

I cried out as my orgasm crashed into me, my cock throbbing and spilling thick white strands of cum on my chest and on the bed. I fucked my fist until my orgasm subsided, gaze never leaving the screen.

Matty's hand was still stroking, slowly working his cock, the thick crown deep red and swollen. He thumbed his slit, teasing the precum around, eyes half-hooded with lust.

"It's your turn," I said softly. "C'mon. Please."

His head bobbed as he nodded and his grip tightened on his shaft. A moment later, he whimpered my name as he came. My mouth watered as I watched, wishing I was there to help.

For a few moments, we lay there, just looking at each other as our breathing returned to normal and the aftershocks wore off. My chest ached with emotion, the desire to tell him how I really felt. I closed my eyes briefly. It was probably just the oxytocin flooding my body, but I deeply wanted to tell him I loved him, without the reality TV cameras on us. Just us. I wanted him to know.

Instead, I took a shaky breath and spoke. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure. Anything."

"It felt like you were being a little… I don't know, reserved, when I was home. Like you didn't want to… get physical again."

He frowned and bit the side of his lip for a second. "I did hold back. Yes."

"Why?"

It was Matty's turn to take a deep breath, and he let his eyes close for a moment before looking at me again. "It's a bit scary, what's happening between us."

"You don't want it?" My heart ached and I was terrified to hear the answer.

"That's not it, not at all." The pause he took felt like an eternity, but eventually he spoke again. "I'm scared that it won't work. I… I know it sounds selfish, but I'm afraid that if we try to have a real romantic relationship that doesn't succeed, we'll divorce. And if that happens before my two years are finished, I'll be deported. I'll lose nearly everything that matters to me—my ambitions and my best friend—in one blow."

I smirked, unable to hold back. "One blow, huh?"

He smiled, just a little, and shook his head. "You know what I mean."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "I do. But I don't think that's going to happen. Not with us. We care about each other too much. I think… I think it's worth trying."

Matty nodded, just a little. "Ja. I do too."