20. Kiera

Chapter 20

Kiera

The crowd at The Crescent Moon was very different than that of The Weary Traveler .

Dim candlelight shone over the sparse tables and hushed conversations. Curtained booths provided some privacy for the small groups of hooded customers shuffling to and from the bar.

I peeked into one booth where a woman sat in the lap of a man nearly as tall as Maz but twice as wide. She whispered in his ear, and he chuckled. He started to turn his head, and I darted away before he could see me.

Why in the deep, dark, wandering hell had Renwell chosen this tavern? He hadn’t specified much, other than I was to wait for him inside. My nerves felt like dry twigs ready to snap.

After everything that had happened, this meeting was not going to go well.

My fingers shook as I climbed onto a stool at the end of the bar and waved down the bartender.

“Coin first,” the grizzled old woman rasped.

I tossed her a copper—one I’d just earned from doing an errand for Sophie. My cover for being out alone. Aiden, Maz, and Ruru hadn’t even been home when I left. After meeting with Ruru and a short, painful rehearsal with Melaena, I’d sat with Sophie until she’d given me work to do.

The bartender passed me a pitiful mug of brown ale. Her gaze lingered on me for a moment. Probably wondering who I was meeting since it seemed everyone else was here for one illicit affair or other. I scowled at her until she looked away, then drained the whole mug.

The ale was weak and tepid, but gods, I wanted more. Anything to stop my racing thoughts.

When Renwell and I had made this plan, I’d been so certain I would have heaps of information to lay at his feet. Then he would gift me a rare smile and a few short words of praise that would tell me I had succeeded. That I had protected my family, done my duty, and was well on my way to being an excellent High Enforcer.

But now I wasn’t sure what to tell him.

For two years, he had been my guide, my mentor, my only escape from grief and a life I no longer wanted. He had been a constant in some of the darkest moments of my life. He had shaped who I was.

But I couldn’t let him be the only window through which I saw the world.

Ten days in this strange life had already fractured that view.

Cracks formed between what I believed and what I saw. My intentions and my actions. Most of all, my fondness for Ruru, Maz, and Melaena and my growing feelings for Aiden warred with my duty to destroy them if they threatened my family or my kingdom.

My view had become distorted. Strange. Uncertain.

What would happen when that window shattered?

“Room six,” the bartender’s voice wheezed.

I lifted my head, almost having forgotten where I was.

The old woman took my empty mug and wiped the bar top under it as if I’d left a mess. She jerked her head toward a staircase. “He’s waiting.”

I nodded woodenly, sliding off my stool.

How had he gotten there without me seeing him? Perhaps there was a back entrance. Renwell always remained unseen when he wished.

My boots sounded too loud, too slow, up the stairs and down the narrow, dark hall. Most of the rooms were occupied, if the noises within were any indication.

The ale had done nothing to calm my nerves. If anything, it sloshed harder in my empty stomach, making me feel sick.

Room six. I stared at the dented brass number nailed to the door. Renwell was on the other side. Waiting for me. Growing impatient with me. He was likely already furious after everything that had transpired.

Sweat prickled along my spine. The thin scar along my chest seemed to tighten and tingle—evidence of my disobedience.

Something creaked on the other side of the door, as if a body had shifted. Then the door slowly swung inward, revealing a dark room.

Lifting my chin, I slipped inside.

The door eased shut. A bolt scraped.

I whirled around. I couldn’t see him, but I could smell him. Always the same. Melted wax and candle smoke.

A tiny flame flickered to life in an oil lamp overhead. Renwell’s hooded face and dark eyes loomed over me. His gaze was like a scavenging crow, devouring me from head to toe.

“Hello, Wolf slayer,” he murmured. Then his gloved fingers seized my throat. He slammed my back against the door.

I gasped, but he only clenched harder. I tried to tear his hand away, but his grip was like the sunstone blade at his waist.

Unbreakable.

My other hand scrabbled for my knives, but he snatched my wrist and crushed it against the door by my head.

Tears leaked from the corners of my eyes as he brought his face within a breath of mine.

“You disobeyed me,” he hissed.

I choked and spluttered. Shadows pillowed around my vision, around him. Gods, he already knew. How?—

“One of my sources told me of a woman who looked just like you disappearing into an alley with two of my Wolves. Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”

I tried to speak, but he snarled. “And don’t lie to me, Kiera. I will know.”

He released my throat and my wrist, and I gulped the air between us. He watched me without a drop of remorse in his eyes.

“I . . . I was going to tell you. I had . . . no choice.”

“No choice but to disobey me?” he demanded. “Has our prisoner won your loyalty so quickly?”

Warnings pounded through my head. I needed space from him to gather my thoughts and my breath. But he gave me none.

“No,” I snapped. “But I had to earn his trust, otherwise I never would’ve been able to come here tonight.”

His eyes remained hooded with suspicion.

“Do you think I wanted to kill those Wolves?” I hissed, yanking down my shirt collar to expose part of my scar. “They hunted me down. They almost killed me. Would you have preferred they did?”

His nostrils flared as he stared at my bare skin.

Heartbeats thundered past, and he didn’t answer.

I tugged my shirt back over my scar, my throat dry. “Do you want me dead, Renwell?”

His gaze pierced mine. “No.”

“Then why didn’t you tell your dogs to stay away from me as well?”

“They would’ve let you be if you were alone. Their job is to clear the streets of criminals. Anyone out after dark who shouldn’t be. And since you’re entangled with such?—”

“Entangled on your orders.” Jerell and his sister flashed through my mind. “And they don’t only hunt criminals.”

“What do you mean?” Renwell asked sharply.

I drew in deep breaths, trying to steady myself. I had to know. “The night after we escaped, four of your Wolves dragged away a man named Jerell and... and killed his sister without cause.”

“Without cause?” he whispered, wrath tightening every line in his face. “They do nothing without my order.”

I flinched.

“Was this woman interfering with their business?”

“She was trying to save her brother.”

“And paid the price. As you almost did.”

“What was Jerell’s crime? What did you do with him?”

“That is my business,” Renwell said in a soft, deadly voice.

I didn’t heed the warning. The rising rage in my gut crashed into every other ugly feeling that had grown fangs and claws in the last ten days. “Does Father know how you conduct your business ?” I spat. “Killing innocent women to keep them quiet while you steal their kin?”

“What tale do you want, princess?” he snarled. “Perhaps something to soothe those little weaknesses that fester inside you like a slow death.”

My heart jerked. I felt as though I were bleeding from wounds I couldn’t see. “Don’t call me that. That is not who I am anymore.”

“Then why do you still act like it? ‘Father,’” he spat the word from his mouth like venom. “He is not your father. He is the king you serve. And I am your commander. You answer to me. Unless that has changed for you?”

I couldn’t speak. He’d never been this furious with me.

Renwell drew back a step. His eyes turned cold and calculating, not unlike his beloved torturer’s. “Has it, Kiera? Or do you now prefer to answer to the man who infiltrated my Den, helped you escape, killed the other Wolf in that alley to protect you, and healed your wounds?”

“How do you know that?” I whispered.

Renwell brandished a jagged smile. “I took the bodies and gave them to Korvin. You know how he likes that sort of thing.”

Memories shivered in a corner of my mind—crusty tables, jagged tools, that glittering whip, and jars of nightmares. If I hadn’t fallen apart with Aiden earlier, I might’ve now. But remembering his whispers, his touches, kept the darkness at bay.

“He told me which one was your kill. The punctured throat, just like I taught you. He was impressed.”

A wave of nausea rocked me back on my heels.

I didn’t care for the man I’d killed, but death felt different after dealing it out in a moment’s decision. After I’d stared into the face of my own. What had that Wolf seen in me when I killed him? Had I been no less of a monster than Korvin?

Renwell watched me, noting every fear and weakness I tried to hide. But he didn’t steady me, didn’t draw me into his arms to comfort me. I used to hope he would, after that night he’d rescued me from a different attacker in another alley. Foolishly, I’d soaked up every glance and every effort he made to protect me, thinking it meant the most dangerous man in Rellmira cared for me.

But he’d never shown any affection to me.

Instead, he loved to scratch and poke at my fears as if hoping they’d bite back.

“But the other body,” he continued. “The other one was interesting, Korvin said. Multiple cuts and a few deeper wounds, delivered by a weak arm. I told him how I found the body, crumpled against a wall, a blood trail smeared down the length of it. Your protector impaled my Wolf’s hand then pinned him to the wall with a blade through his throat. He?—”

“Saved my life, yes,” I rasped. “Why are you telling me this?”

“What’s his name?”

I balked. It was probably the easiest bit of information I could give him, yet even that one word felt like a betrayal.

Renwell’s gloved fist wrapped around his knife hilt. “His name, Kiera.”

“Aiden.”

“Aiden,” he murmured. “Do you feel you owe Aiden your life, your loyalty?”

My heart hid from the truth. “No. I told you. I used the incident to gain his trust and immediately left my mark for you. I owe everything to you, Renwell.”

In many ways, I did. Even though there were times, like now, when I hated owing him so much. But I buried those feelings.

A glimmer of triumph and something else—something darker and uglier—brought life back to Renwell’s gaze. “Yes,” he murmured. “To me.”

He let the heavy words hang in the air between us as we stared at each other.

Unbidden, a memory slithered through my mind. Of a moment I’d tried hard to forget.

Months ago, I’d been changing clothes in my room when Renwell had swept in without knocking. We’d both frozen—me in my breast band and undershorts and him fully clothed. But for one searing moment, his gaze was utterly naked with desire.

Before I could take another breath, he stormed out of my room, and I didn’t see him for two days. We never spoke of it, and he’d never looked at me that way again.

But I’d taken to locking my door, even when I was inside, and sleeping fully clothed.

The memory faded as thumps and amorous cries suddenly rose from the room next to ours.

My stomach churned at the unfortunate timing, but I pointed my chin at the source of the noise. “Why did you choose this tavern as our meeting spot?”

His smile grew into something sinister I’d never seen before. “I needed a place where no one wants to look you in the eye. Nor are they sleeping or listening in.”

“Surely there were other places,” I grumbled. I wanted to move away from the trembling wall, but that would’ve brought me closer to the small, bowed bed. And to Renwell.

“And if you were followed,” he added smoothly, “then they would assume you’re doing nothing more illicit than meeting a lover in the dark.”

My heart stopped. I’d assumed I hadn’t been followed since no one was home and I’d been on an errand for Sophie, but...

What if Aiden came looking for me and saw who I was with?

A laugh scraped past Renwell’s lips. “Tell me, Kiera, are you more worried that someone will see me as your lover or you as a traitor?”

I glared at him, his strange behavior making him ever more unpredictable. Was it because I’d killed one of his Wolves? Or because of Aiden?

“I can’t risk either,” I said, “and I shouldn’t stay much longer. Do you want to know Aiden’s plan or not?”

Renwell leaned against the far wall, his expression back to its usual mask. “Tell me.”

I told him of Aiden’s need for gold, despite his shipping business and smuggling for nobles, and how I’d offered the idea of stealing from Asher’s vault as a way to tempt him.

“That was a dangerous move. One the king will not like,” Renwell said, but his eyes gleamed.

“Does it matter? We can’t let it happen.”

“Why not?”

“Because,” I spluttered, “they could take that gold and disappear or use it for gods only know?—”

“Have you learned why he wants it?”

I ground my teeth. “Not exactly.”

Disappointment harshened every line in Renwell’s face.

I thought quickly. “But I overheard something else. Something that might be related.”

My words tumbled over each as I told him about the conversation I heard between Garyth and Melaena. I only left out the details of Garyth suspecting someone had searched his office and found his papers. I didn’t want to turn Renwell’s fury on me once more. As I spoke, he paced the room like a caged animal.

“That gods-damned fool is meddling where he shouldn’t,” Renwell muttered.

“What’s happening at the mine?” I asked carefully.

His voice lashed out. “Nothing that concerns you.”

I didn’t want to push him, but I hated being in the dark. “Does it have something to do with the People’s Council? With the letters I found?”

“I searched for them, but they were gone.”

“Are you going to arrest him?”

“Not yet.”

Gods, I hoped for Garyth’s sake that he forgot about the People’s Council and the sunstone mine and whatever else he was meddling in.

I hadn’t considered the lives that would weigh on my conscience with this job. I thought the lines between good and evil were carved in stone, not sand. Father would call Garyth a traitor for even wanting the People’s Council back. But Garyth was also a good father, a loving husband, and, from what I remember, a decent man.

Holy Four, what if it was like the Pravaran rebellion all over again? Those days had been filled with terror so potent I could taste it in the air, like a brewing storm. Renwell hunting down my father’s enemies in Aquinon and serving them up for execution. Friends and family betraying each other to save themselves. Enemies taking their revenge by naming supporters.

And through it all, I had believed—with all my sixteen years of wisdom—that love would be enough to save Julian, if not his family.

But he refused to give up his cause, even for me.

“You’re certain Garyth said, ‘We can do nothing if he doesn’t succeed?’” Renwell asked, ceasing his pacing.

I nodded. “And Melaena assured him he would.”

I hated bringing Melaena to Renwell’s attention like this, but I hated the idea that she could be plotting against my family and my kingdom even more. But did she deserve condemnation any more than Garyth did?

“Then your mission has become more important than ever.” Renwell pinned me with his sharp stare. “This heist will be the key to solidifying your place among these people, so you have more time afterward to find out who he is and what he plans to do.”

“But what of the gold? Fa—the king will not want to lose it.”

“We will win it back tenfold when you uncover the conspiracy and all its makers. Everything they have will be forfeited to the crown.”

Panic bubbled under my skin. “Aiden expects me to be on a ship sailing away with my cut after the heist.”

“You’re not leaving this city,” Renwell growled. “Unless you plan to disobey me again.”

“Then how?—”

Renwell slashed his gloved hand through the air. “If he cares enough to kill for you, then he’ll care enough to keep you. Use that.”

My body grew cold. He wanted me to weaponize the flicker of trust that had just sparked between me and Aiden.

I had already betrayed Aiden in so many ways, yet this one felt the worst.

“I will do what I can,” I said in a hollow voice.

“Excellent, now tell me the plan for the heist.”

I told him my part as a dancer stealing the key from Asher and opening the vault for Aiden.

Renwell nodded along, as if it all made sense. “How will you keep Asher and the other attendees from recognizing you?”

“I’ll wear a mask and makeup along with a... distracting costume. Melaena says he’s partial to her dancers.”

Renwell sneered. “Asher and his many weaknesses. Simply act the sweet, playful admirer, and you could steal his very soul if you wished.”

I frowned. I knew there was no love lost between the two of them, but he seemed to care little for the position we were putting a fellow High Councilor in.

“Do you remember which lock it is?” he asked.

“Well enough.”

“Come here.” He emptied a pouch of gold coins onto the bed.

I stood opposite him, but he shook his head with a smirk and pointed. “Next to me, Kiera.”

I steeled my spine and walked around the bed to stand next to him.

“Imagine this is the vault door,” he said. “And these”—he placed the coins in a familiar pattern on the coarse bed linen—“are the locks. This is the one you want.” He placed a gloved finger on one near the top-right corner.

I might’ve gotten it right without his help, but I committed the position to memory. I couldn’t risk making a mistake now that I was officially going through with this.

Holy Four, I was actually going to have to dance in front of the nobles and steal from the High Treasurer.

Sweat beaded along my hairline. I needed to rehearse much, much more. I needed everything to go smoothly so that Aiden and Melaena would see me as an ally they wanted to keep—and to trust.

Renwell swept the coins off the bed and put them back in his pouch, his elbow brushing mine.

I quickly put some distance between us, pressing my back against the now-quiet lovers’ wall. “Do you really think I can do this?” I blurted out.

Renwell faced me, his gaze unfathomable. “You did well, Kiera, bringing me this information. You have earned trust and loyalty from dangerous people by simply using your wit and tenacity. This was only your second mission, and your first undercover one. I stand by my initial assessment.”

From the bridge. When he was convinced I would succeed even though my father didn’t.

This was more of the Renwell from my training. Harsh but empowering. After all, if he didn’t think I could succeed, he wouldn’t have given me the task.

“But what if innocent people get hurt?” I asked, thinking of Ruru, of Garyth’s wife and little Isabel. And even though I doubted they were innocent, my chest tightened at the idea of harming Aiden, Maz, and Melaena.

Renwell’s brow furrowed. “Innocent people always get hurt.” He reached into his boot and pulled out my mother’s sheathed knife.

My breath snagged on something sharp in my throat. He had kept it like he said he would.

“Your mother was innocent, was she not?” he asked in a deadly quiet voice, slowly sliding out the black blade. “As is Everett. Delysia. Would you be so worried about these criminals if you knew they were plotting the murder of your innocent siblings?”

I stared at him, everything blurred and muffled as if I were underwater. Drowning in fear.

That couldn’t be what Aiden was planning. Nor Garyth with Melaena and their talk of the mine and the People’s Council. It just couldn’t be.

I barely noticed Renwell step closer until he pressed the tip of my mother’s blade to my collar. He eased it down to reveal my scar once more.

I stilled, a strangled gasp escaping my numb lips.

His gaze jerked to mine, but he didn’t move the knife. “Steal the gods-damned gold, Kiera. Figure out what the traitors are plotting. And never disobey me again.”

He tore the knife away without drawing a drop of blood.

But I didn’t wait another moment. I fled.