31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

"As the lord, you will have to make decisions you don't like. I had to make a choice—a choice for the best of Sídhetír and my son. God forgive me, I hope it is not a mistake, but what else can I do?" – Lord Jonathan, Eighth Lord of Sídhetír.

I stepped into Lord Byrne's bookroom, or rather my bookroom. How truly odd. This room had been the one I associated most with Jonathan Byrne. All throughout my childhood, he'd been there, sitting behind the desk, reading. My fingers ran along the spines of the books on the shelves. The Memoirs of Sídhetír. He would add his last thoughts to his journal, then it would fall to me to continue them. I would be the last Lord of Sídhetír. There would be no others.

"Aidan."

My eyes closed at the sound of Lord Byrne's voice. He was such a distant figure. I hadn't spent much time with him growing up. Now I had to reconcile with the fact he was my father.

"Aidan," he said again, "or I should say, Lord Byrne."

Not even the barest hint of a smile touched my lips.

"I would like to speak with you."

"About what?"

"The truth. You deserve to know what happened, and I would like to tell you if you will allow me."

I gestured for him to continue.

He moved to the window. "My first wife, Margaret, was my heart. I felt as if she was a part of me. I loved her dearly. I knew when I was young that she was the one I would marry. I married her days after my twenty-first birthday. I thought I knew what my life would be. She and I talked of all the sons we would have, and what we would accomplish. Margaret was my everything, and she died giving birth to Whitaker."

This was something I'd known, though he rarely spoke of Margaret.

"I don't know if you can imagine such devastation. Perhaps you can since you care for Prince Cethin."

"I love him," I corrected.

"Indeed."

"Did you consider not continuing the contract?"

"I did," he said. "I truly thought about giving Sídhetír to Thomas and breaking the contract because I could not imagine being with anyone else. Margaret held my heart, and she still does."

"What happened?"

"Briella. She came to me. We were childhood friends. She knew I was heartbroken and wanted no one else, but she also knew I needed to continue the Byrne line. She offered to marry me. There would be no romance between us, but we could have five more children."

The end of this story was not a happy one either.

"A year after Nevan and Neil were born, Briella got sick. No matter how many physicians I consulted, she didn't get better. Death claimed her." Lord Byrne shook his head as his eyes turned glassy. "I could not continue. I could not marry another, even though I needed one more son to carry on the line. I was done.

"My queen did not allow that. She arranged my marriage to Hester, who understood there would be no love between us. For God's sake, she's over ten years younger than I am. I hated the idea of wedding her, but Hester wanted out of her parents' house, and I was a way to do that."

"You married her," I said.

"I didn't want to. God help me, I didn't want to, Aidan. I have never hated being Lord of Sídhetír more than I did at that moment. I hated Sídhetír. I hated everything, including myself. I didn't want to marry again. I didn't want any more children. I didn't want to be myself."

"What happened?"

"We married, and I couldn't bring myself to look at her."

"When did you meet my mother?" I asked, shifting closer to him.

"A few months after Hester and I married, we went to town for a short visit, and I snuck away and ended up in a cheap tavern. I drank. A lot. Vis came in. She was the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen with her deep red hair and bright blue eyes. We started talking. She didn't know who I was, and I didn't know she was a light fae. We spent the night together."

"You strayed?" I should've known that since Oren and I were only seven days apart in age, but somehow, even though I was a bastard, I had assumed Lord Byrne hadn't betrayed Lady Hester.

"I did. When I awoke in the morning, Vis was gone, and I thought I would never see her again. I did what I had to in regards to Hester."

I scoffed at the obfuscation. "You bedded her."

"Yes, if you wish to be direct about it."

"When did you learn about me?" I asked, moving even closer to him until we stood shoulder to shoulder.

"Over two years later. Vis showed up on my doorstep with a young child hiding behind her. She told me you were mine."

I closed my eyes.

"When she got pregnant, Vis had no intention of finding me. I wasn't important. But after you were born, you were exceedingly sick, so she planned to take you to the fae realm. The second she crossed into Sídhetír, you recovered."

"I was the heir."

"Yes," he said. "The first one to be born outside of Sídhetír since the contract."

"Why didn't she seek you immediately?"

"Your mother didn't know who I was, but she soon figured it out, and more importantly, she found out who you were."

"What happened?"

Lord Byrne sighed. "She asked me to change your fate. She didn't want you to be the Lord of Sídhetír for fear of what the fae would do to you, and I feared you would not be able to sign the contract. I already had Oren as my heir, but how could I not acknowledge you?

"I wanted to meet you, and you were in the garden playing with Oren. I picked you up, and you stared at me with eyes so like my own. Only Phineas had eyes like mine. I didn't want to let you go, Aidan, but you could not be the heir, so I did. Though you and Oren refused to part. Always playing and seeking each other out." He laughed before growing quiet. "When your mother died, I made you a ward of the Byrne estate to keep you safe. I forbade Thomas and Whitaker to tell anyone who you were."

"You told Lady Hester?"

"I did," he answered. "She deserved to know, and she agreed to keep the secret. She did tell me I was foolish to try and trick the magic of Sídhetír."

Hester had known I was a child of her cheating husband, and yet she had never treated me badly. Not once. She'd known I was the heir, not her own son, and yet she was always kind to me. That level of decency and forgiveness made me cringe at my own anger.

The old Lord of Sídhetír faced me. "You are right, Aidan. I am not your father. I made a choice long ago, and that decision precludes me from ever being your father. I thought if I acted like I was, this would be easier. For the next five years, per tradition, I will be here guiding you, and I thought it would be easier for me to let go of Sídhetír if I acted like you were like Oren, my son.

"I have spent thirty, almost forty, years bound to Sídhetír, and now, it's missing from my mind. I am bereft without it." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "I will guide you as best I can, Aidan, but I will expect no more than that."

My eyes closed as I swallowed. I barely remembered my own mother. I'd longed for a family, and now, I had one. I had seven brothers. A sister in Whit's wife, Frances. A sibling in Thomas's spouse, Georgie. Nieces. An aunt of a sort, if Iris considered herself as such. A step-mother. A father, if I was willing to forgive him.

I grabbed his hand and whispered, "Give me time. I want to be a family, but I cannot just yet."

"I can give you time."

When I reached the door, I turned around. "I plan to marry Cethin. Soon."

He chuckled. "I suspected. Apparently, he's already sleeping here. If you weren't already engaged, I could make him take responsibility for ruining you."

Heat rushed to my cheeks. "You know about that."

"Your brothers like to talk."

"Damn them."

Laughing, Lord Byrne said, "They love you."

"And I them."

Looking around, he said, "This is your bookroom now."

I swallowed. True, but uncomfortable. "One step at a time."

He inclined his head. "We'll start small, but there are decisions you will need to make."

"I want to marry Cethin first."

"Then we shall start there."

I sat in the garden as the chilly air pressed against me. No one bothered me or Cethin, who lay with his head in my lap. I finger-combed his silky white hair as I watched the clouds drift over the sky.

"Were you serious when you said you would marry me?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Do you want to marry me?"

"Yes, Aidan. Now?"

"Well, not at this exact moment, but soon."

Cethin closed his eyes, and I trailed my fingers over his face. His gray-purple skin was impossibly smooth. My heart raced at the mere sight of him. A flush rushed to my cheeks. How long would such feelings last? Hopefully forever.

I bent down and found his lips. His hand fisted in my hair at the nape of my neck. I groaned, deepening the kiss as I pushed my hand under the neckline of his shirt to run my fingers over his chest, tracing one of his nipples.

"Aidan," he whispered.

God, I loved the sound of my name on his lips. My touch turned frantic as I kissed him. He arched up into me, holding me close.

Someone coughed, and I started. Cethin didn't react, continuing to kiss me. I pulled back, and Cethin muttered something dark and glared at the intruder. Oren stood not far from us, red faced.

"We are occupied, brother of my mate," Cethin said in a low voice.

Oren turned an even darker red.

I smacked Cethin. "Be nice."

He glanced at me. "We are busy."

Ignoring him, I asked, "Oren, what do you need?"

"Can I talk to you? Alone. Preferably."

Cethin growled, but I clamped a hand over his mouth before he said something inappropriate. I took several deep breaths, trying to get my cock to relax. It had started to harden with Cethin's intoxicating touch, and Oren didn't need to witness the tenting of my trousers.

"Yes," I told him, keeping my hand over Cethin's lips. "Give me a moment. I will meet you by the stables."

When Oren disappeared, Cethin bit my palm. "You want me, Aidan. I can feel it. He can speak to you another time."

"Oren is important, and I haven't had much of a chance to speak with him since everything happened."

He frowned.

"He helped me sneak out to you."

Cethin sighed and swung off my lap. "Fine. Speak with your little brother. I shall devour you tonight."

My hand wrapped around his neck as I tugged him close for a kiss. "I love you, Cethinathiel."

"And I you." He nuzzled my face. "Can you open the gate, so I may speak to my parents and sister about our wedding?"

"You'll come back, right?" I asked, not looking at him.

Cethin growled and kissed me fiercely before biting my bottom lip. "Nothing can keep me from you, Aidan. We are bound together. You are everything."

My erection was not going down, and his words in combination with his addictive touch weren't helping. "I will allow you to leave, but no other fae can come in yet. I need to speak with the different queens first."

"Wise." He pressed his forehead against mine and took a deep breath. "I will come back soon."

After Cethin had been gone for several minutes, I was able to calm down enough to meet Oren at the front of the stable. "I'm sorry," I told him. "I didn't intend anyone to see us."

"Which is why you were kissing your husband-to-be in the middle of the public garden?"

"I guess."

Oren pushed his arm through mine. "I'm happy for you."

"About Cethin?"

"I don't think you want to be congratulated on inheriting Sídhetír."

"I don't." I took a deep breath. It wasn't Oren's fault I was a week older than him. It wasn't his fault Lord Byrne had slept with my mother. Oren deserved the best. "But you are free."

He sagged against me. "I can leave. I can go to school." Oren beamed at me. "I'm so happy."

His radiant expression was like a punch to the gut. Bile burned my throat and my heart attempted to escape my ribcage. But I would not allow it to sour our relationship. Oren was my best friend, and I had always considered him my brother, which was now true.

"I'm happy for you."

"I don't suppose…" he trailed off.

"I will arrange for you to go to school. Lord Byrne wants me to begin training as the lord. I'm sure he would be happy to help me."

Oren bit his lip, eyes averted as he led me around the garden. "You should call him something else. You're Lord Byrne now."

There was some truth to his words, but I couldn't bring myself to call him Father, or anything similar. "You might be correct. Should I call him Jonathan?"

He chuckled. "Perhaps."

I tightened my arm around him. Soon Thomas would go back to his spouse, Whit to his wife, Phineas and Sevrin to their ranch, Nevan and Neil to town, and Oren to school. I would be alone with Jonathan and Hester. They wouldn't move to the dower house until I was ready to lead by myself. I didn't want to let Oren go, but he deserved to be free.

"Promise me something."

"Anything," Oren said.

"Be careful saying that to a fae."

"I do not fear you, Aidan. You're my older brother."

Tears pricked the back of my eyes. "I am that."

"What do you want me to promise?"

"Write to me. Frequently. I will miss you."

Oren tugged me into a hug. "I'll miss you too."

I squeezed him. I wanted to keep him here beside me, but he wanted to go. I loosened my hold. "Promise me."

"I promise."

With that said, I started toward the manor. I would have to speak to Lord Byrne. Before I made it, Oren said, "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Giving me my dream."

A wide smile pulled at my lips. "I would do anything for you, little brother."

"Damnation," Oren groaned. "I have seven fucking older brothers."

I laughed. "You do. You gained one, and there's no escaping any of us."

Gentle caresses on my neck woke me. The room was dark with only the fire providing flickering light. Arms held me tight as someone nibbled and sucked on my neck. "Cethin," I said, voice rough with sleep, "you're back."

"I am."

"What did your family say?"

"My mother congratulated you on your ingenuity with the gate."

It had been her idea.

"My father did not understand the need for a wedding, because we are already bound, but they gave their permission, which I do not require."

I chuckled, rolling to face him. "Do they want to come?"

"No, but they will if their presence is required. I wasn't certain, as I haven't attended a human union before."

"They don't have to, but I would like it if they came."

"Then they shall." His fingers brushed my cheek as his eyes darkened with need. "I promised to devour you later. It is later."

My arms snaked around him. "So that was your intention in waking me?"

"One of them, yes." He pressed his nose against my neck and took a deep breath. "I cannot get enough of you, Aidan. It's hard to contain myself from touching you."

I pulled him on top of me and yanked off his shirt. "Stop trying."

He crushed his lips to mine, growling, "You may regret that."

"I will not, because I cannot get enough of you either."

Cethin groaned but said no more as he quickly tugged off my nightshirt.