16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"Pain and love often go hand in hand." – Lord Keegan, Fourth Lord of Sídhetír.

C ethin carefully dried my hair, his movements gentle and slow, as if he was afraid he would damage me. I'd had to bathe to get rid of the dirt and blood from my earlier encounter. The warm water Cethin had heated for me helped ease the pain in my ribs and the tightness of my muscles.

The cottage was unchanged from my earlier visit, except for the fire burning in the fireplace, bringing warmth to the chilly autumn night, and the two new things gracing the mantle. First was the tin I'd given Cethin for the burns on his hands. Second was the apple I'd offered him, though it glimmered with magic. Both rested in the center like treasured objects.

Once satisfied, he tossed the towel aside and snagged a blanket from the bed, wrapping the soft fabric around me. I wished for a cup of Iris's tea or, better yet, to see her, but somehow, I didn't think Cethin would be amenable to that suggestion. Also, I truly didn't want to move. I felt safe right here.

"Let me clean myself up," Cethin whispered, then moved to the metal tub. I didn't bother to avert my gaze. I'd seen him naked already, and fair was fair—Cethin had closely watched me as I bathed.

He stepped into the same water I'd used and began to wipe the ichor off his skin with brusque movements. My eyes feasted on him, and I couldn't even muster up a feeling of shame or embarrassment for the act.

His long legs were toned, as were his arms. His abs were well defined, much more so than mine. Tattoos wound up his limbs and covered his back. The thorns kissed the edge of his jaw. The mark on his sternum, the crescent moon with the seven-pointed star, glowed in the low light. The center of his stomach was bare, though. It, plus his face, were the only unmarked parts of his skin—even his firm ass had thorny swirls.

"Enjoying what you see?" Cethin asked, scrubbing his long hair.

"Yes." I had no reason to lie. Besides, it was obvious I was. Cethin was gorgeous, and he was mine. My cock started to harden at the thought. Cethin was mine. I would never have to part with him. He would give me a place to belong. Someone to belong to, and with. If Lord Abnus was to be believed, Cethin was my mate.

Cethin stepped out of the tub and dried himself with far less care than he had me. Water continued to drip off the white strands of his hair, splattering the floor. He donned a clean set of clothes before sitting behind me, his legs bracketing mine while his arms loosely wrapped around my waist. He buried his face in my neck, inhaling deeply.

My cock leaped again, forcing me to think of innocuous things. The smell of grass. Lord Byrne lecturing me. Iris cackling. The way Whit ate with little care, spraying food every which way. Anything. I thought of anything besides Cethin being as close to me as he was or the light scent clinging to his skin.

The anger from earlier had yet to disappear. It had certainly dimmed, probably due to my arousal and Cethin's close proximity, but I wasn't ready to forgive him, or to accept the fact he'd forced me into a marriage without my leave.

He rubbed his face against my neck. "You need to sleep."

I swallowed as memories began to trickle in. The screams. The wet squelching sound of Cethin ripping the light fae's head off. On their tail was the remembrance of Mr. Hillridge on the flames and the two massive fae's heads swinging from Cethin's clawed fingers.

The instant I closed my eyes, those scenes would come back to haunt me like a ghost living in the corridors of my mind. I didn't know how to excise the memories, and deep down, I feared they would never fade, rearing their ugly heads at the worst times.

"Come. I will guard your sleep." Cethin's hands slid to my elbows. With a light pressure, he helped me to my feet and directed me to the bed along the back wall. A blush heated my cheeks. The last, and only, time we were in bed together came flooding back.

My pulse increased, pounding in my ears until it was all I heard. Several moments passed before I realized the tap tap tap sound I heard wasn't my heart, but rather rain beginning to beat upon the roof.

Hugging myself, I sank to the edge of the bed. A stabbing ache in my ribs stole my breath, drowning all else out. Cethin draped a blanket over me before joining me on the bed. His arm came to rest on my waist. When I twisted my head to see his face, I saw Cethin staring anywhere but me. His eyebrow twitched and a tic pulled at the corner of his lips.

Was he afraid I would reject him?

I wasn't going to, because I quite liked the weight of his arm upon me, and I didn't want him to stop touching me. My eyes began to close, but I fought the sensation of sleep, blinking hard. Cethin tightened his arm, not enough to cause me pain but enough to reassure me of his presence. I forced the circling sleep away because we needed to talk.

"Are we mates?" I asked, staring at the ceiling.

"In what sense?"

"In the fae way. Is that why you put your mark on me?"

"Yes."

Abnus had been right.

"I want to not be angry at you."

He pressed his forehead into my shoulder, holding me tight like he was afraid I was going to run. "But you are."

I was and I wasn't at the same time. I cared about Cethin, which made it hard for me to stay angry at him. After speaking with Abnus, I understood more why Cethin had done what he had. He'd been dying, and I was there—his mate. Of course, he'd claimed me.

"My feelings are real, Aidan. Everything I have done is not because of the bond between us, but because of my feelings for you."

"I wish I could believe that."

"I cannot lie. I care about you. I want to know you. Yes, you are my mate, but I would have been intrigued by you regardless."

I turned to look at him. In the low light from the fire, I couldn't see his expression clearly, but what I saw was earnest.

He gently touched my cheek. "I love you, Aidan, and I'm not saying this so you'll forgive me. I truly love you. Deeply."

Wincing in pain, I rolled over with his help. I held his face between my hands and stared at him as tears started to gather in my eyes. I was grateful the low light hid them, or at least I thought it did. I wasn't sure how well Cethin could see in the dark.

"You love me?" I asked.

"I do. Desperately. The polite thing to do was to ask you for your hand. Woo you." He smirked. "But I took what I wanted—you, and I'm not sorry I did. You are the best thing in my life."

I tugged his face closer to rest my forehead against his. He continued to hold me as we simply breathed each other in. His words had softened my anger, dampened my fear, and soothed my worries. I didn't want to be without him. He was mine.

My breath began to deepen as sleep started to take me away. I shook it off, not ready to surrender yet. I wanted to keep talking to Cethin. There was so much to learn, and I had so many questions left. What would happen in the future? How were we going to work as a married couple?

"Sleep," Cethin said when I shook my head again to ward off sleep. "I will allow nothing and no one to harm you."

My hand found his, our fingers intertwining. "Don't leave."

"Where would I go? You are everything."

Heat brushed my cheeks, but I couldn't open my eyes nor force my lips to form a response.

"As I have said, but will remind you again, you are an idiot," Iris commented as she placed a steaming cup of tea in front of me.

Wafts of a bitter medicinal flavor made my lip curl. She raised an eyebrow, staring pointedly at the cup. Nose wrinkling, I took a sip and grimaced. The taste was far worse than I anticipated. The liquid somehow possessed the essence of dirty grass and bitter greens at the same time. It was foul. I wouldn't have even forced it upon my worst enemy, though I might have given it to Oren in a lark to watch his eyes bulge.

I swallowed convulsively in an attempt to rid my tongue of the horrid flavor. It didn't want to dissipate. Instead, the putrid flavor lingered on the back of my palate, making a home there.

Iris ambled over to the kitchenette and pulled a jar painted with roses off a shelf. She placed several biscuits on a plate and set the offering in front of me. "It would serve you right to have the horrid taste of medicine in your mouth for hours to come, but I like you. Have a biscuit."

Crunching on the treat, I gave Iris a full-cheeked smile, which she returned.

When I awoke this morning, Cethin had been curled around me, his breath warm against my neck. It had taken every ounce of control I possessed not to squeeze him tight and trail my lips over his smooth skin, but I didn't move so I could linger in his hold.

Cethin had remained amiable until I'd informed him of my decision to see Iris. My ribs ached something fierce, to the point each breath was short and sharp. My skin was decorated in bruises. All this didn't even come close to the dreams that plagued my sleep. I'd known they were coming, and yet, they stole my breath and sent prickles to the backs of my eyes.

He'd scowled as he hovered over me, attempting to keep me in bed. He'd repeated, several times, that he was capable of caring for me. It wasn't until I placed a quick kiss on his lips and told him I knew he could, but I wanted to see my friend that he'd been mollified. He'd walked me to the glen with Iris's cabin, though he'd refused to approach or enter the clearing. Instead, he remained under the trees, glaring daggers at the harmless-looking building.

Iris cleared her throat, drawing me to the present. "So you confronted a light fae with nothing but an iron key. Idiotic."

"Cethin killed the light fae."

"I'm sure he did." She shuddered. "Noble fae are terrifying."

I frowned. "What?"

"What?" she repeated, taking a drink of tea.

Letting it go, I gripped my left arm. "Did you know what this mark meant?"

"The death curse?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a death curse. It's… an engagement mark."

Her eyebrows raised. "You're engaged to a dark fae. I'm sure you were surprised."

"To put it mildly."

"I knew he had ‘fuck your life' aura written all over his inhumanely gorgeous face."

She had indeed said that. It was one of the reasons she wouldn't even touch him when Cethin had been lying injured on the floor of her cottage. In many ways, he had fucked my life, and in others, not so much.

A sly grin tugged on her lips. "I'm sure he will fuck you within an inch of your life."

Heat slammed my face.

"Maybe he already has." Iris laughed, her amber eyes twinkling.

My mouth opened, but the only sound that came out was strangled and possessed no logical meaning.

Humor fading, she rested a hand on mine. "How are you handling the change?"

"As well as can be expected." I took another sip of the tea and fought a gag. The brew was truly disgusting, but Iris had promised it would help the pain and promote healing. None of her previous concoctions had failed, and I had no reason to doubt this one, even if it possessed the foul taste of hell.

Iris cocked an eyebrow. "Truly?"

I shrugged.

"Hmm." She pursed her lips. "Should I curse him?"

"Excuse me?"

"I know a good one." Iris rubbed her hands together as a wide smile stretched over her face. "It will turn his penis spotted before making it fall off."

I choked. "I beg your pardon?"

"I've never had an excuse to use it, but I will. For you."

I truly had no words in response, though from the way Iris was staring at me with gleaming eyes, I had to find one, quickly, or Cethin would suffer an unexpected consequence.

"A generous offer to be sure," I said. "But I'd rather you didn't."

She nodded, leaning back. "I see. You enjoy his penis."

Heat swamped my cheeks as I coughed again.

"No shame in it." Iris patted my hand, rising from her seat to totter over to a shelf full of tins and jarred herbs. She tossed me a metal tin without any embellishments on it. "Here."

"And this is?"

"Lubrication."

My mouth fell open and my eyes widened. "W-what?"

"Lubrication. I sell some to couples of all types. Everyone needs some." She waved my question off while she settled back in her abandoned chair.

If I'd thought my cheeks were warm, I did not have a true understanding of heat. Embarrassment gathered in my stomach, making me shift on the chair.

Iris shook her head. "I'll never understand why people get embarrassed about such a basic need. Of course you enjoy sex with him, but you need proper lubrication, no matter who's on top. If you are bottoming, make sure you are well prepared, so it doesn't hurt. Do you need me to explain the process?"

Mouth agape, I shook my head rapidly. Dear God, I truly hoped Iris would be silent. I did not want to have this conversation with her or anyone. Shit. The Byrne brothers would want to speak with me about it. There would be no escape from the awkward conversations. They all had good intentions, but damn them, it was embarrassing.

"Let me know when you're out," Iris said. "If you are using it faster than you can call on me, I will give you two next time."

"Iris," I started in a strangled voice.

"Yes?"

"You know I appreciate…" I trailed off and waved at the innocent tin on the tabletop. "But can you stop?"

Laughter spilled out of her. "Oh, Aidan, I do love you."

At her words, a smile forced itself to my face and banished the curling embarrassment. "I love you too."

"Of course you do. I'm amazing. Who wouldn't love me?"

I chuckled and finished my foul tea.

Cethin was right where I'd left him, against the tree outside of Iris's glen. His arms were crossed, but the left side of his lips quirked up as his eyes tracked my every move. As I reached his side, he lifted a hand, pausing. When I didn't shy away, he cupped my cheek, thumb brushing my cheekbone. The arc of his thumb sent tingles down my spine.

"Is all well?"

I nodded.

"Do you want to stay at my cottage?" he asked, stilling.

"I should go back."

His eyes flickered. "I see." After a second, he slid closer until a hair separated our bodies. "Can I visit you tonight?"

"Yes." My hand curled around the tin in my pocket Iris had insisted I take. We would in no way need it tonight, but I wanted to spend time with Cethin. I wanted to fall asleep next to him and wake up next to him. I was fairly certain I was going to desire him staying by my side for as long as I lived.