12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"When choosing which court to align with, the prospective heir should carefully weigh their options. Most lords have allied to the Day Court, though not I, but do not be fooled by their easy manner or their name, for they are as devious as their moon-blessed cousins." – Lord Ian, Sixth Lord of Sídhetír.

O ren practically carried me to my room as I sagged against him, struggling to do anything but breathe. My thoughts whirled and my chest stung with betrayal. The logical part of my brain thought my reaction was horribly dramatic—Cethin and I barely knew each other—but that didn't stop my spiraling emotions.

Cethin hadn't lied to me nor led me on, but he certainly hadn't told me the truth. This morning had been him making the best of a permanent situation.

My eyes closed as the backs burned and my throat clogged. He should have told me.

When Oren shoved me, I crashed onto my bed. He grabbed my face. "You didn't know."

"I thought this mark was because of the debt."

"Well, it could be perceived that way," Oren said with a tight smile. "You and him are engaged. It is a debt for life, I suppose."

"Are you defending him?"

"You like him, Aidan." Oren sat next to me, making the bed dip.

I flopped backward and covered my face with my arms. I did. I liked Cethin. Why? I couldn't say. A worm of doubt wriggled in my thoughts and made my stomach churn. What if the only reason I was attracted to him was because of the tattoo? Were my feelings even real? Did my interest in his mischievous smile and quick humor actually come from me?

"Thomas will tell Father about this. He'll want to speak to you."

Another thing to dread. Lord Byrne wouldn't be pleased about me revealing myself to the fae representatives, or about the engagement to an unknown fae. I shook my head. I didn't want to speak to him or Lady Hester.

Cethin. I had to talk to him. Make him explain himself.

"I need you to help me," I said.

"With what?"

"I have to leave."

Oren's eyes widened. "You can't."

"I have to speak with him. I have to."

"It will have to wait."

I scrubbed a hand through my hair. "You don't understand."

"I know you care for him, but you cannot leave right now. You must speak with my father, and I don't know how he will take this surprise engagement."

"We had sex," I growled.

His mouth opened. "What?"

The hurt was obvious in his tone. I shared everything, besides Iris, with Oren. But now, I'd kept numerous secrets in a short span of time. "It was this morning. We fucked this morning. He snuck in and…" I trailed off.

"That's why you couldn't stop smiling."

"It was amazing."

He rolled to his side and rested his head in his hand. "I'm jealous."

Laughter spilled from my lips, but it was tainted with hurt. "For my forced engagement? Or that my first time was with a man who didn't bother to tell me about said engagement?"

"Neither," Oren said. "Because you found someone, someone you care about."

"Who betrayed me."

His dopey smile dimmed. "True."

"I need to speak with him, Oren. I have to. I can't wait."

He glanced at the door. "Put the pillows under the blanket, and I will tell everyone you fell asleep. It will only stall Father. I have no idea how we'll get you outside because I'm sure Whit, at least, is in the hall."

Getting to my feet, I said, "That's not a problem." I arranged the pillows and fluffed the blankets until they resembled my sleeping form, then shifted to the window. I opened it and slid out, balancing on the ledge with ease.

Oren gaped at me. "That's how you got out."

"Yes," I said with a slight smile.

I shut the window and rushed along the ledge, not losing my balance. I ignored the other windows in my haste—I didn't care who saw me at the moment. I swung over the stone railing of the balcony, snagged the ivy, and climbed down. A vine was always within reach and my feet easily found support. I landed on the flagstones without incident and raced through the hedge maze to the gate, which swung open with the barest twist of the key.

The second I was free of the estate, I headed north, unsure of where to go. I didn't want to talk in Cethin's home, but I wanted privacy. Without truly contemplating, I turned to the apple orchard. The farmhands shouldn't have begun harvesting the fruit yet, so it would be private enough for this conversation.

My feet moved over the fields while my thoughts circled. What should I say to him? I had no idea, but I had to find the words somehow. When I stepped under the laden trees, I looked up. The sky was darkening with clouds. I frowned. The sky had been clear only a few minutes ago. Perhaps Lord Byrne had learned of what happened and was angry. Normally, he had better control of his emotions.

Closing my eyes, I said, "Cethin."

He'd said he would come if I called for him, but I didn't know how it worked or how much time it would take for him to arrive.

A wind stirred my hair and I turned into the breeze, taking deep breaths in an attempt to calm my pounding heart.

"Aidan," a voice whispered not far from me. Arms came around my waist, and lips trailed along the column of my neck. Anger churned in my gut, but my cock hadn't received the notice—it began to stand at attention.

"You called for me," Cethin said. "I did not think I would see you until tonight, though the surprise doesn't upset me in the slightest."

His lips wandered up my neck to my ear. He nibbled on my earlobe, holding me securely in his embrace. I wanted to lean back and forget everything that had happened, but I could not.

I tried to step out of his hold, but he was much stronger than me and I couldn't break free. I wiggled, and Cethin stopped sucking on my earlobe. "What's wrong?"

"Let me go," I ordered in a stony voice. His arms instantly opened. I turned around to face him.

Cethin stared at me, eyebrows pulled together. He lifted a hand, but when I shied away, it fell to his side. "What's going on?"

I shoved up my sleeve as far as it would go. "What is this?"

"Why are you asking?"

"Tell me. Directly. What. Is. This?"

He swallowed. "Someone told you."

"I want to hear it from your mouth."

Cethin met my stare. "It is a mating mark. I placed my own tattoos on you and bound our souls together. You and I are engaged to be married."

I shook my head, asking, even though I knew the answer, "Is this permanent?"

"Yes."

"Why did you even do it? You didn't know me."

His eyes moved away from mine as his jaw tightened.

"Cethin," I barked. "Why did you do this?" When he didn't respond, I continued, "Lady Blodwen said you did it to save your life."

"Blodwen," he muttered. "Of course she said that. She's young."

" Young ," I repeated, eyebrows raised.

"Yes."

My finger traced over the thorny vines. "Does this influence my emotions?"

He whipped in my direction. "No," he said, his voice a growl. "It does not do anything besides chain your life to mine. Your feelings are your own." Cethin held my face within his cupped hands. "What you feel for me and this morning are real. It is real for me as well, Aidan."

I slapped his hands away. "And I should believe you why?"

"I cannot lie."

I scoffed and walked further into the orchard, fingers running over rough bark that scraped at my skin and distracted me from my raw heart. He could not utter a single lie, but that didn't mean his words were the truth.

No one bent or twisted words like a fae.

Besides, what was the truth? He could spout things he believed to be true but were not. It was subjective. What was true for him did not make it true for me.

Arms snagged me, and Cethin growled in my ear, "I told you this morning: I am selfish. It's my greatest weakness. I will do whatever I must to keep what I want, and I want you, Aidan. I wanted you from the moment I saw you."

"Why?"

"Because you are mine . I bound you to me, not to save my life, but to keep you with me."

"You didn't give me a choice," I snapped.

"I did not. I acted on instinct, and I do not regret it."

I yanked his arms away so I could face him. "That's not right, Cethin."

"I never claimed it was, but I will not surrender you," he snarled.

"And I don't have to want to be with you." I walked toward Byrne Manor to face the situation I'd left behind. How would I explain this fiasco to Lord Byrne? I had no idea. Hopefully, something would come to me on the way back.

I made it to the edge of the orchard before Cethin stepped in front of me, blocking my path. "You don't understand."

"What don't I understand?" I practically screamed in his face. I barely knew Cethin, but somehow he'd wormed his way into my heart.

He scrubbed a hand through his snowy hair. "You are mine."

"You said that already, and I say no." I veered around him, and he grabbed my elbow, his hold gentle despite the situation. I swatted him. "Fuck off."

Cethin muttered something. His arms wrapped around my waist and dragged me back. I elbowed him, catching his nose. He swore, releasing me. I took off in a run, my feet pounding on the damp grass. Harsh words came from behind me as Cethin chased me.

Despite the tense situation, I was not afraid, not even a little bit. Deep down, I knew he wouldn't hurt me.

He snatched me again, his arms trapping mine against my sides, and my feet lifted off the ground. I ordered, "Let me go." Thunder rumbled and the ground quaked as I shook.

"No," he said right in my ear. "I want to talk to you. Let me explain."

"I don't have to hear your explanation."

"You don't, but please let me tell you."

My wriggling ceased as my harsh breath began to ease.

Cethin buried his face against my neck. "Please don't leave, Aidan. Let me explain."

"Fine, but let me go. Now."

Cethin released me, and my feet landed on the ground again. I faced him, arms crossed. Prickles started in my stomach at the sight of blood on his lip and the bruises around his eyes and nose from where I'd hit him. I buried the sensation. I'd been defending myself.

"Explain," I demanded.

His hand went through his long hair again, the strands falling over his shoulders. "You are mine."

"God preserve me. You've said that three times now. Are you trying to invoke an incantation or do you have a point?"

Eyes narrowing, he snapped, "I have a point."

"Then get to it, and spare me the dramatics. You chose the course of my life without any input from me, Cethin. I don't even want to look at you, let alone hear this, so hurry the fuck up."

Cethin took a deep breath, his eyebrow twitching. He seemed as angry and frustrated as I did. "I was stabbed with a poison-dipped iron knife."

My blood turned cold. Iron was deadly to fae. No wonder he'd been unconscious when I found him in the woods. Unable to stop myself, I moved closer, reaching for his black shirt. I'd seen him naked this morning, and yet that didn't stop the concern burning through me.

His hand grabbed mine and pressed my palm to his sternum. "I am fine."

"So you were badly injured?"

"Yes," he said. "I woke up and there you were, hovering over me." Cethin tightened his hold as he swallowed, his throat bobbing in a distracting way.

"And?"

"And I knew you were mine."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

He looked away, jaw clenched. I waited patiently for him to answer, but as the silence stretched on for an uncomfortable amount of time, I yanked my hand from his grasp, and Cethin let me go.

"Leave, Cethin. I don't want to see your face right now." I headed back to Byrne Manor to face the problems before me while leaving him and the unspoken issue behind.