24. Amy

24

AMY

A fter Nik left, I lounged in the living room and wondered how long his task would take. Knowing that he was going somewhere with the intention to kill someone should have alarmed me. It wasn't normal to be knowledgeable about a pending murder and not do anything about it. It wasn't proper to murder people. That was a simple foundation that determined the difference between right and wrong.

I not only knew Nik was out there to kill Diego, but I also wanted him to. I'd fallen so far into this criminal lifestyle already that my barometer of right-versus-wrong was skewed and twisted.

Diego wanted to possess me. He was wrong to do so. And for that, he deserved to die. If Nik didn't eliminate him as a threat, he would always be looking for me. My babies deserved a fair chance to be brought into this world with all the love I could give them. Maybe it was a premature mama-bear instinct coming to play, but I was damned protective of these new lives I carried.

Still, it was weird. Waiting around picked at my nerves, and soon, I grew antsy and restless. Nik told me he'd be back, but I had no clue how long these kinds of things took.

When he left, I felt sated and calm. Connecting with him in a physical sense mended something in my heart. It wasn't enough. I doubted I'd ever get my fill of Nikolai Valkov, but I was glad he caved to give me something more than that careful pampering.

I wanted him. I wanted to make him come and look at me with that unbridled lust until I could dupe myself into thinking that he loved me back.

Love.

I smiled, circling my foot as I sat and tried to free the kink in that joint.

Love, indeed.

What I felt for Nik was a complicated, messy thing, but deep down, I knew it had to be the purest of all emotions. I loved him, and I wondered how long it would wear on me to keep that a secret too.

"Or should I even bother to try?" I muttered aloud to myself.

It seemed far too lonely and empty in here, but someone knocked and entered just then, to hear me talking to myself.

"Should you bother to try what?" Mila asked. In a simple dress, she looked ready for bed, yet not.

I shook my head, smiling and glad I had someone to talk to. Musing about my feelings for Nik was giving me a headache. "Nothing," I said, not wanting to speak about my truest feelings for Nik with anyone besides him.

"Hmm." She stopped at one of the high-backed chairs, setting her hands on the top. "Are you busy?"

"Too busy overthinking. "

She smiled, tipping her head toward the door and beckoning me to get up and follow her. "Me too. Anytime I know Alek is off on a dangerous task, I worry."

I wanted to ask where she was leading me, but it hardly mattered. Her company was a lure in itself.

"That's natural," I commented as we strolled along the hallway.

"I couldn't sleep, and I had a craving for something crunchy. They saved quite a bit from dinner, and I was hoping you'd join me for a late-night meal. I mean, snack."

I nodded, eager to explore this huge place with her. Everywhere I looked was an ornate detail I wanted to admire, but I stuck with her pace. "I'd love that."

She caught me scoping out the hallways leading toward the biggest dining room. Murals had been painted on the ceilings. Arches confined sweeping crown moldings that had been handcrafted. Beneath our feet was the plushest, smoothest carpet.

"Are you… adjusting all right?"

"To what?" I glanced at her. "To this enormous building? Nik's personal wing? The fact that I'm having not one baby, but two?"

"To all of it, I suppose," she said as we reached the dining room. She sat, indicating for me to do the same.

"Alek and I knew we wanted children someday, but I was surprised how quickly it happened." She served some pieces of the warmed-up dinner onto her plate. Staff bustled in and out of the kitchens to bring more things in without interrupting us.

"I recall the day the test turned positive. I was so excited and thrilled." She pressed her hand to her chest and sighed. "So much had been changing in our lives, and it was a rush—meeting Alek the way I did, not having to marry his cousin, and then…" Her smile was slow and suggestive .

"Were you married for long?" I asked, hoping that wasn't too intrusive.

"Not really," she admitted with one of those shit-eating smiles. "I was born into a rival Bratva Family. I've been raised with the expectation to be a Bratva woman and serve the men however my father saw fit. But the Valkovs are nothing like my father's organization. Here, I'm respected and loved, and it was an adjustment for me."

I nodded, taking my first bite. "With this being my first experience with any kind of… uh, violence, it's been a very big adjustment for me."

"And I hope you know I will help you, as much as I can. It isn't easy. There are good days and bad days, like anywhere else in life, but you are in good hands here."

I nodded, eating a few bites and glad to appease the slight hunger pang that had kicked in. No smells bothered me, and I was overjoyed to have an appetite without any conditions to it.

"What did you do before you met Nik?" she asked. Her question was direct, but not nosy.

"I was a vet tech. I had a job at a clinic."

"Did you enjoy it?"

I nodded. "I did. At least, parts of it. The customer service duties weren't so fun, but I love animals."

"Me too. Are you a dog person or a cat person?" She mocked a pensive look, tilting her head. "I think I'd prefer a cat."

"Both. Either." I glanced around the room, lavish and sophisticated as the rest of the place. "I can't see a pet being in a house like this, though."

"Eh. Of course, a pet would fit into this chaos. Although, maybe not yet. A baby and a puppy or kitten? That might be a bit much. "

I laughed lightly. "Even with all the help?"

She shrugged, lighthearted. "Nah. I wouldn't expect them to care for a pet I wanted."

I liked that she wasn't haughty, like a mistress of the household who counted on the lowly servants to make her wishes come true.

"I'm sorry that you'll miss your job."

I nodded. "But this is my true dream come true." Shaking my head, I rolled my eyes. "I mean, not here. I didn't plan any of this. It still feels like I'm forced to make the best of a bad situation, but I don't believe that much anymore. I've always wanted to have a family of my own. This isn't how I thought I'd start one, not at all, but I'll take these twins as a blessing."

She tilted her head to the side. "Only the babies? Not Nik?"

I opened and closed my mouth, struggling with how to word my thoughts on this. I'd just coached myself to tell him how I felt. Not anyone else first. He deserved to hear my secret before anyone else.

"I hope you can find it in your heart to appreciate him."

My cheeks burned as I recalled how feverously I appreciated him as I straddled his lap a couple of hours ago.

"And to appreciate the Bratva. They are your family now. And they will be your family for good. A Valkov is not fickle. We are loyal, Amy, and you can count on that."

I nodded.

"I agree with you. On the surface, it does seem like this is nothing but a case of making the best out of the worst scenario." She shook her head slowly as she wiped her mouth. "But I also don't think that's entirely true. I saw how awestruck Nikolai was when you let him know he was the father of your babies. How he gazes at you like you're the treasure he's hoped for his whole life. "

"Has he… Has he talked about me?" I wanted to know but didn't count on her to share anything. "We were a one-night stand. We couldn't forget about each other." I paused, not wanting to mention how Nik stalked me out of that club. It had to be a touchy topic and a sore spot in the Valkovs' fight against the Ortez Cartel. I hated to think that Nik's chasing after me could have caused that fight to happen in the first place. I heard how deeply devoted he was in his duty to his family, and I disliked the possibility that I could have distracted him from it for even a little while.

"And now, you're parents together," Mila concluded.

I nodded. "We'll have to figure out how to get three highchairs in here."

She laughed, nodding. "This is the headquarters, but Alek has said that we can find another house if that's what I want."

"I adore Nik's suite, but I doubt all those brothers want to hear crying twins in the middle of the night."

"Whatever the future can hold for you two, I promise to be here to help you adjust. I never had a chance to really befriend anyone before I met Alek. I'm glad you're here, and we can hopefully help each other with the trials of pregnancies."

I took her hand and squeezed her fingers. "Me too. I'm grateful I've got you here too." Missy was the only friend who'd ever lasted in the "real" world, and Mila did help.

"I've got to wonder if Nik would ever—" Stop. Don't get your hopes up.

"What?" she asked, eyes wide with excitement. "What?"

"I wonder if Nik would ever want to make it official. You know? Since he's going to be a father and all. I know that's an old-fashioned way to think about it, but…" I shrugged.

Mila grinned, then gave in to light laughter. "Oh, boy. "

I watched her, curious why that would amuse her.

" Another wedding, so soon." She set her glass down and sighed. "Alek and I got married in some unusual circumstances. I'd sure hope you and Nik would go a more traditional route and have a proper ceremony."

A girl can only wish…

I bit my lip, nodding. It was one more layer of my dreams.

They seemed fated to be cut short, though. Before we could take another bite or continue this start of girl talk, gunfire popped nearby.

No! We were both vulnerable here, two pregnant women without many guards. Both Alek and Nik were gone, and I dreaded that this ambush was happening now because of their absence.

Guards. They have guards everywhere. I tried to calm my racing heart as my pulse spiked in panic. They have guards. I refused to think that it wasn't safe anywhere outside of Nik's suite. This place was supposed to be a fortress.

I had many adjustments to violence being a constant in my life, but I felt so confused why it would be happening here and now.

Glass shattered, and a man shouted in pain.

"Hide." Mila stood, gripping her steak knife as she stared back at me.

I searched for another one further down the table, eager to have some kind of a weapon if I had to fight back. Prepared. I had to be ready to defend. My fight-or-flight instincts were honed, and adrenaline coursed through me as I braced for a hit to come. This room was toward the corner of the house, a vulnerable position if anyone was driven to invade from the outside.

"We need to hide until they can secure the premises," she stated firmly just before more gunfire cut through the air. Closer. Louder. I hunched my shoulders, wanting to hide and run at the same time, but I didn't know where to go for either reaction.

I nodded, ducking low and following her away from the table as more men burst into the room, guns blazing.

I only noticed one person among the chaotic entrance of men who didn't belong here.

The sinister smile covering his face chilled me.

No!