19. Nikolai

19

NIKOLAI

I couldn't stand there and take that lashing. Amy wasn't cruel with her words. She didn't scream and shout or toss out ultimatums like a sassy bitch. That calm, measured reasoning showed me how much she'd thought this all out.

At the conclusion of her view and her opinions, she wanted one thing.

Any possible life without me in it.

Leaving her locked in my personal wing was getting old. She wouldn't be allowed out of the house. Not any damn time soon. She could leave my room if she wanted and explore, within reason. But I couldn't linger there.

Every minute I was within her presence, I warred with the constant need to hold, taste, and fuck her hard. Her sweet body called to me. Her melodic yet firm voice beckoned me to embrace her and get her to smile or laugh again.

I didn't. I couldn't approach her when she was so determined to strategize how to get away from me despite the very real and present dangers upon her life outside this building .

Leaving the mansion wasn't a better alternative, so I sought refuge in the gym Alek had renovated and added to once Pavel and Andrey were eliminated. Down here, we brothers could work out in privacy. Our soldiers and other men had ample exercise and training spaces to work out in, and it was required that they stay in prime fitness in the name of duty to the family.

Here, I found all four of them. Ivan and Maxim were finishing with their reps, wiping sweat from their brows and resetting the weights on the racks. Alek was still going hard on a machine. Dmitri sat on a bench, no doubt too injured from the beating the Cartel gave him to want to expend himself with exercise too soon.

Rest was my motive, too, and I sighed heavily as I sat next to him.

"Just the man I want to speak with," Alek said once he finished and lowered the bar back to its setting.

I faced him blankly, knowing he couldn't be done with letting me hear it. "How bad is it?" I knew he had to have more information by now. A whole night had passed. If Diego was this unhinged to get Amy back, then he wouldn't sit still.

"He's a sick fucker," Maxim said. "I had our hacker look into him." He shook his head, wincing. "Diego Martinez is one nasty player."

"Like what?"

"Sadist. Mutilates his whores. Shares them. Impregnates them but forces them to abort." He sighed and wiped his face once more. "And he's got a thing for blondes. The younger, the better, but no one underage. Only blondes."

"Fuck." I ran my hand through my hair. He'd force Amy to abort her baby. Even though it was the product of rape, she shouldn't be forced to do that. It should be her choice only.

"He's furious," Alek added. "We're getting reports from spies. He's killing anyone who talks against him. He's killed several within the Cartel."

"Any sign of him near here?" I asked. This mansion wasn't only our shared home but also a fortress and our headquarters.

"No," Ivan said firmly. "Security has been increased, too. No sightings of him here."

I wanted to breathe easier about that. He wouldn't reach Amy.

"And I doubt he's going to take news of your counter-offer well," Alek added. "He's insane, and there's no negotiating with the insane."

"I know." Hell, I felt insane too, crazed with this need to protect her despite the lack of love she'd felt for me.

"I don't understand how this all started, though," Alek said as he came to stand in front of me, stretching. "Why Amy Simmons, orphaned twenty-two-year-old veterinary technician from Brooklyn, would be in the middle of all of this. I get it. They chose her at random, like the rest of the women we stole out of there. But how did you get so involved, Nik?"

Dmitri cleared his throat. "You didn't blink. You saw her and took her away from the others."

"I only relocated her to one of my apartments for that night." I sighed, remembering how urgently we'd fucked there, equally ravenous for the comfort of sex and reconnecting like that.

"Why did you select her?" Alek pressed.

"Because she's the one I want." I groaned at having to lay it out like this, to all of them at once. But I couldn't keep it in anymore. "I want her. I have wanted her ever since I first saw her."

"At the warehouse?" Dmitri asked.

I shook my head. "I met her over a month ago. Just a quick fuck, a one-night stand. Back when I was spying down at the Colver dock after the big sting went down."

Alek nodded. "That long ago?"

"Yeah. I went to a bar. We saw each other. And that was it."

Ivan grunted a rough laugh. "And that was it? You're talking like some chick, love-at-first-sight bullshit."

I shook my head. Not on her part. "She doesn't love me. It was just sex. The best I'd ever had. I gave her a fake name that night, assuming like her that it would be a random fling. I didn't plan to see her again, but I couldn't get her out of my fucking mind. All that time after that night, I missed her and thought about her. I stalked her, but she'd moved. It was like she'd vanished until I saw her at Harrow's."

Alek's brows shot up. " She was the woman you saw?"

I nodded, hating the flicker of guilt. "I was distracted. I saw her and chased her down to the alley. Once I saw Steven Murphy with another cop, I figured something might be going down at the club. By the time I ran back, they'd opened fire."

"Damn, man." Dmitri shook his head.

"Well, you've got her now," Maxim said, almost optimistically.

"No, I don't. I told myself to not even try to go after her when I stalked her and looked for her. She doesn't belong with me or in this life. She's an innocent, too sweet and good. I wanted her without having any right to deserve her." I stood, stretching to ease the tightness of my injuries healing. "And now that she's here anyway, she doesn't fucking want me."

"How so?" Alek asked. "She wouldn't step away from you last night."

"She sees me as a criminal, nothing more. As the bad guy. The enemy." It killed me that she couldn't see who I really was beneath my job and duty, around my actions for my family .

"You have got to tell her."

We all turned to watch Mila enter the room, shaking her head. Her scolding expression was focused on me, and I didn't have to wonder how long she'd been close enough to overhear. She was my sister now, so I couldn't begrudge her for learning the secret that I'd just shared with my brothers.

"You have got to tell Amy how you feel," she implored, coming up to Alek and setting her hand on his shoulder. "Love isn't likely in our world, but when it does happen against all odds, you can't squander it away or waste a second of it."

"It's not that simple, Mila." I sighed and ran my hand through my hair.

I left my room to escape the aggravating taunt of wanting Amy and knowing she was within reach. Her antagonism toward being with me kept her out of reach. I'd never force her to reciprocate these deep feelings and sense of need.

Now, though, my frustration scaled higher. I was unsure what to do or where to go. I couldn't avoid her forever. While I wanted to have faith in Mila's suggestion, I doubted that any conversation with Amy would go over well when she was so stuck on wanting to escape me and my life here.

"I won't force a woman to love me back," I said dryly.

"I'm not suggesting that you do," she said.

"But maybe talk to her," Maxim said, "and see if?—"

"Mr. Valkov!" Margie ran up to the gym entrance, out of breath and pale with worry. "The—" She met my gaze with her terror-stricken one. "Your guest. Miss Amy." She strained to swallow, breathing so hard from the apparent rush to get here and find me, or any of us.

Looking at Mila next, she frantically shook her head with tears shining in her eyes. "She's bleeding. Hurry, please. Fetch the doctor!"