1. Nikolai

1

NIKOLAI

T he last time I was in a church was for a wedding. The ceremony never happened. My older brother crashed the event and kidnapped the bride. Violence and chaos filled the building then.

Right now, as I stepped forward to pay my respects at a funeral for one of the oldest members of our Bratva, a very different and somber mood filled the cathedral.

"Imagine being around for ninety-nine years," my brother Ivan murmured next to me. He was one of the family's deadliest killers, an assassin, but he never failed to be serious and attend these things.

"All the ups and downs," he added, peering at the Valkov Family members who moved away from the casket at the front. "And dead just the same at the end of it all." He arched a brow at me, and I wasn't sure if he was being philosophical, bitter, or sarcastic.

Or honest. He had a point. No matter what we did or accomplished in our lives, no one lived forever. Even Henri, our great-great uncle who finally succumbed to old age .

I shared my brother's mood. Seeing one of the most loyal and oldest bratva members dying put a lot of things into perspective. On his deathbed last night, he'd called us five brothers closer to impart his last bits of wisdom.

"Bring in a new future for the family," he'd advised us.

His words hit hard. We were forging a new path forward for the Bratva. My older brother, Alek, had overthrown our Uncle Pavel just a couple of months ago. He was now the big boss, the Pakhan , and with his wife Mila at his side, he seemed ready and impatient to show the world how things would be different with his leadership. Pavel and Andrey, my cousin who was killed, hadn't given a shit about the Family. They hadn't cared about the wealth or success of the Bratva, and under their lead, we'd been brought down and reduced damn near to ruin.

Alek was prepared to change things up, and Henri's deathbed instructions sounded like the same idea. Make a new future. Build stronger.

I huffed to myself, spotting Alek and Mila standing together. No matter where they were, at home in the Valkov mansion, in meetings with the top soldiers, or here at a funeral paying their respects, it was crystal clear that Alek loved his woman. He never turned down the dial on his protectiveness and possessive mannerisms. He either had his hand on her arm or back, or he was smiling down at her. With looks of love at her face and then the stern ways he'd scope their surroundings, he was every bit a man in love and determined to see to his woman's safety and security.

Dmitri, another brother, suspected that Mila was already pregnant with the way Alek hovered over her. Maybe she was. They'd let us know sooner or later if they had a head start on actually starting the next generation of Valkovs. All I registered was how doting and happy he was with this woman he kidnapped from another wedding.

Deep down, I wanted that too. I'd never considered myself a romantic by any stretch of the imagination, but I had dreamed about settling down with one special woman. I would be blessed to be able to call one woman my own, but I doubted I'd ever have a chance to do so. Only one individual had ever made me interested in more than a quick, hard fuck.

Amy. I swallowed, loosening my tie at the mere thought of her simple and classic name.

She was the single woman who'd made me wish for a lasting commitment like Alek and Mila shared, but it was impossible.

Amy was nothing more than a one-night stand I had the pleasure to enjoy over a month ago. For weeks, I replayed the moments we'd shared. Hot, torrid flashbacks of her luscious naked flesh. Needy, loud cries of pure bliss when I made her come again and again on my mouth and cock. That solitary night was all I had to remember her by because I had yet to ever see her again. I lacked the knowledge to find her in the city.

In hindsight, lying to her and using one of my many aliases was the stupidest fucking thing I ever could have done. I was used to going under disguise as a spy for the family, and I often headed out to hook up with women under false identities as well. When I spotted her in the bar that night, I hadn't realized how quickly and deeply she'd affect me. Had I known she'd slip under my guard, I might have told her I was Nikolai Valkov so she'd be able to find me again. One and done just wasn't enough with her, but it was all I could have without more information to find her.

"Thank you for coming," Violet said as she gingerly walked up to me and patted my cheek. She leaned heavily on her cane, and as she turned to lovingly gaze at her deceased husband in the casket, I held out my hand to steady her.

"Of course," I told her. All five of us, plus Mila, stood in a line. We wanted to show unity and support. Henri had been well-liked by many, and seeing him off in this funeral wasn't only expected, but fitting .

She smirked, shaking her head at me. "Pavel and Andrey wouldn't have shown up."

I nodded. She wasn't wrong. "We're here to begin a new start for the Bratva. One founded in support and respect."

She smiled at me. "And family." She glanced at Mila and Alek close together. "And love."

I held in a growl. I wanted to love only one woman, and she wasn't available to me. Even if I knew how to locate Amy again, she wouldn't be interested. I knew that as much as any other fact in the world. Amy, that delectable blonde I couldn't get out of my mind, was good. She was an innocent, too far removed from the brutal reality that came with being involved in the Bratva.

Eventually, we finished with our duties here. Henri was moved to the cemetery, and after more family relations gathered for a small wake at one of the Bratva's finer restaurants, we closed the final chapter on our elderly great-great-uncle.

Even though all five of us brothers lived in the enormous Valkov mansion, now that Pavel and Andrey were gone, it wasn't like we lacked space. We all had our privacy, and with each of us entitled to a separate wing, we weren't in each others' way.

Before we parted and headed to our own wings, Alek called for a meeting. Communication was expected with his method of leading, and I preferred it. When Pavel led, no one knew what to expect. He was sloppy and careless, and Alek and I were the ones who guided our many brothers and soldiers. Like a proper leader, a dutiful Pakhan , Alek hosted weekly meetings to discuss our biggest concerns and priorities.

I entered the large dining room, assuming this week's meeting would be a formality, an extension of reminiscing about Henri and how much he'd be missed. It was not. Alek got right down to business, determined to stay abreast of anything we shouldn't ignore .

"The Kastavas may no longer be a threat," he started once we all had seats and drinks, "but now the Cartel is starting to edge in on our territory and meddle in our affairs."

Ivan smirked. " Starting to edge in?" he retorted.

I shook my head. "The Ortez Cartel has always been there in the background, wanting what's not theirs."

Many crime organizations fought for the top spot in New York. The Italian Mafia. Other rival Bratva families, like the Kastavas. The Cartel. Even MC gangs tried to slip in and have a piece of the power.

When Alek stole Mila Kastava from her wedding, he instigated a big war with Sergei Kastava. He had been right to be suspicious about the Kastavas trying to set us up and arrange a coup to take power from Pavel, but we stopped them all. The Kastavas no longer held much influence, and we'd make sure they remained powerless for good.

Alek rubbed his brow. "Yes, but while we—I—dealt with the Kastavas and stopped them from trying to take over the Valkov Bratva, the Cartel was acting up."

I nodded, aware of these facts. We were distracted, and rightly so, with Sergei Kastava's nefarious plans. Alek himself was more focused on Mila and preventing a disastrous sting at the docks during an arms shipment.

Now that all that was in the past, I wondered what would come next.

"We cannot allow the Ortezes to interfere with our land. They stirred enough trouble while we were busy, but now we need to show them that the Valkovs are strong. That we will continue to be stronger than ever and will not tolerate this bullshit."

We agreed, voicing our support. Of course, we would make a unified front. I bet some people out there would assume we were weaker now, lost and clueless without Pavel as our Pakhan , but that would be their grave mistake. Alek had impressive plans for us .

"And with new blood, new generations," Alek added, smiling at Mila, "we will continue to be strong well into the future."

I wanted to groan. Enough . Enough about the future generations. Every time someone said something like that, it reminded me of the one person I wanted to build my future with, the only person I could never have.

While Alek and Maxim discussed the logistics and details about businesses that the Ortez Cartel members had recently targeted, I tuned them out and sighed deeply. I couldn't keep thinking about Amy. All this talk about settling down with women and having children was gnawing at me. But I refused to let it keep me down for good.

I perked up at the mention of Harrow's. The Bratva owned many businesses, legitimate and others not as clean, and among those operations were several strip clubs. Harrow's was by far the Bratva's most lucrative and successful club, and it peeved me that the Cartel members would try to stir up trouble there.

"We've had reports of the assholes coming in often," Alek said.

"The security doesn't know to keep them out?" Ivan asked.

Alek shook his head. "They show up in numbers and it causes a scene."

I rolled my eyes. "A scene? Who gives a fuck?" I swore, sometimes, the newer soldiers had to learn to grow a backbone. "I'll stop by there and keep an eye out tonight."

Alek nodded. "Good."

And hell, maybe while I was out there, in the area near the bar where I picked up Amy all those many nights ago, I could try to retrace my steps and look around. If I could happen upon her, I'd follow her. Stalking people was just one of my specialties, and I wasn't above using those tactics on her.

I wasn't sure what I would do if I saw her again. Nothing could've changed the fact that she was good and pure, innocent and unblemished by violence or crime. I lived a dark life. I killed. I hunted. I lied. All those actions were in the name of duty, and I would never consider changing that central element to my life.

I lived for my Bratva, and I'd never let them down.