Chapter Sixteen

Leah

I don’t know where I’m running to, Cody and Katie gave up chasing me a while ago and I’m grateful for that. I couldn’t face them after knowing they heard what Darius just said to me, his words cutting me deeper than he will ever know.

He knew.

He knew this whole fucking time and never once said a thing. After all these years I finally found out why he disappeared from my life. I slipped into the worst depression after I found out what happened to me. I couldn’t claw my fucking way out of that dark hole. I can feel the claws of my depression trying to drag me under again, only this time, I don’t think I have the strength to pull myself out knowing that Darius thinks I wanted what happened.

I slam to a stop when I realize I’ve found my way to the beach. I trek out to the bank and drop down allowing the sobs to claw their way out of me. The sea breeze sends a chill down my spine thanks to my soaked clothes. I try with all my might to stay out of my head and soak in the beauty around me. The beach is empty and the only sounds that can be heard are the waves crashing against the shore, the ocean is so beautiful and yet equal parts deadly. The beauty of the ocean can lull anyone into thinking that they can master it and control it but the truth is, the ocean is like a heart. No matter how hard you tell the organ to stop feeling what it does, it never listens because love is the same as the sea—equal parts beautiful and deadly.

When I feel arms lift me, I snap my eyes open ready to scream until I look up and see his face. My heart breaks at the sight of him. I dart my gaze around and that’s when I realize night has fallen, I must have fallen asleep! A shiver works its way through my body, making me realize that I’m freezing. He curses beneath his breath and quickens his pace.

“I got her!” Darius shouts. I lull my head to the side to see headlights in the parking lot. “Turn up the heat, she’s freezing.” I close my eyes not wanting to see his face, how can he come find me asleep on the beach, act like he cares when he and I both know he hates me. “I don’t hate you, Leah.” His clipped tone has me snapping my gaze open and cursing under my breath for speaking my thoughts out loud. When we reach the car, I see Beck standing there with a sad smile on his face holding the passenger door open for me. Instead of putting me in the seat like I thought he would, he slips in with me still in his hold. I try to wiggle free but his hold around my waist tightens. I maneuver myself so I’m sitting on his lap rather than being held bride style. Beck closes the door and moves to the other side. I hold my hands out in front of the vent and sigh when I feel the heat starting to thaw my frozen fingers.

Beck slips into the driver seat of his car, puts it in drive and peels out of the lot. The tension in the car is palpable but I refuse to speak, I already feel uncomfortable at the fact I’m sitting on Darius’s lap rather than on the actual seat. I sigh in relief when I see the two-story I have now come to call home until my dorm building is ready. The moment Beck puts the car in park, I grab the handle and push the door open. I nearly fall flat on my face trying to escape Darius but I don’t care. I steady myself and hold my head high as I march toward the house ready to take the longest, hottest shower in the history of showers.

“Unless you’re hiding a key in that sports bra, the doors locked.” I freeze on the second step, then inhale a deep breath as I turn back toward the two assholes who are leaning against the car with smug looks on their faces. Darius holds his keys out to me. “Give me a kiss and I’ll unlock it for you.” I keep my face blank and I make my way down the stairs, the self-satisfied smirk on his face makes what I’m about to do so much sweeter. I stop two steps away from him, bend down and grab a rock. Beck and Darius’s eyes are wide. I spin on my heel, march up the stairs and peg the rock through one of the windows on one side of the door. “What the fuck.”

“Leah!”

They both shout at the same time, I turn my head to the side and shoot them both a wink as I carefully go through the new front door I made and make my way upstairs, ignoring the pair of them calling for me. They can sort out the fucking window. It’s the least Darius can do after the shit he put me through today! I don’t even bother to lock his side of the bathroom knowing he’ll just break in again like he did last night. I kick off my sneakers and cringe at the feeling of having soggy socks on, knowing my feet will look like prunes. My clothes are next to go. Dumping them into the hamper in the corner, I step into the shower stall and switch the faucet to hot. I step back and give it time to heat up before I’m stepping under the spray and allowing it to wash away the pain and aches of the worst fucking day.

How I went from waking smiling with Darius beside me, to him flipping out and saying such horrid things to me is confusing as fuck. I need to learn that Darius and I are doomed, we will never be more than shared kisses in the dark corner of the room. We will never be a couple and happily in love. We are destined to be apart. If I could just find the courage to tell him, then maybe he would understand but in order to tell him the truth that means I expose myself to my stupidity and the fact that I should have listened to him and just stayed the fuck home!

After shaving and washing my hair and body, I flick the shower off and step out onto the bath mat only to realize I forgot to grab my towel. Shit! I wring my hair out as best I can as I make my way into my bedroom, I just want to hop into my Oodie and snuggle up in bed for the rest of the night.

“Jesus Christ!”

“Close your fucking eyes!” I snap my wide-eyed gaze to my bedroom door, to see both Beckett and Darius standing there. When Becks gaze lands on me, he slams his eyes closed like Darius commanded. I ignore the heated look in Darius’s eyes as I roll mine in return. “Put some fucking clothes on!” I keep my back to them and fight the smile from breaking free when I bend over and grab my towel off the ground next to my bed. The sharp intake of breath tells me Darius got a good eyeful of my pussy. “I’m not fucking with you, Leah!”

I snort as I wrap the towel around my head, turn back to them both–still naked–then place my hands on my hips. I dart my gaze between them both. I can see from the strain on Beck’s forehead he is trying so hard not to let his gaze drop lower. I shoot him a wink before looking back to a seething Darius, his face taut with tension, fists clenched at his sides.

“For someone who continues to call me a slut daily, you are mighty concerned about who happens to see me naked.” My voice is breathy and sounds sexy to my own ears. Darius’s eyes blaze with heat but there in the depths of his brown eyes I can see fury lurking. Beck, on the other hand, just looks stunned. Fuck it, I’m gonna play this out. Knowing both their gazes are on me, I move toward the dresser and pull open my panty drawer. I keep my back to them as I fish out my black lace thong, then bend and relish in the hisses that I hear coming from behind me.

“Close your fucking eyes!” Darius shouts. “Better yet, fuck off, Beckett!” I pull my thong up and just to drive my point home, I stretch out the pencil-thin elastic on the sides and let it snap into place. I grab the matching bra and spin around to face both guys as I slowly put my bra on. I cock my head to the side, loving how my body can have both these guys’ attention so captivated.

“I never picked either of you two for being voyeurs.” Darius growls, warning me not to push this. Fuck him. I clip my bra into place, remove the towel from my head and shake out my long blonde hair before sauntering over to them. I can feel Darius’s heated stare drinking in every exposed inch of my nakedness. He smirks, thinking I’m going for him, but at the last second I turn to Beck. He gulps as a gleeful feeling erupts inside me knowing I have the both of them eating out of the palm of my hand. Good, because Darius is going to see what it feels like to be hurt!

“Darius and I have had sex in a lot of places but my favorites are the places where there is a chance we could get caught, you know the whole thrill of it.” I dart my tongue out and suck my bottom lip into my mouth to drive my point home, knowing they are both watching my every move. “It really turns me on!” I barely get the last word out before Darius has me swung over his shoulder caveman style and landing a swift slap to my ass that has me squealing.

“Your fucking show is done! Beckett get the fuck out!”

I cut the arrogant bastard off. “No, Beck, stay! If Darius wants to fuck me like the whore I am why not watch, shit I might even let you run a fucking train!” I scream in anger. Darius throws me off his shoulder. I squeak in surprise when I land on my bed, and two seconds later he is on top of me, pinning my arms on either side of my head as he glares down at me. I return his angry look with one of my own.

“You think this is fucking funny?” he snarls bending so we are nose to nose.

“I thought this is what you wanted?” The confused look that mars his beautiful face pisses me off. “Let me spell it the fuck out for you, Halfback. I never let a team run a fucking train. I never let anyone touch me–” I feel the lump start to form in my throat, tears build in the back of my eyes but I fight through it. “The only person I ever wanted or let touch me was you. Now, get the fuck off me so I can pack my shit because I’m done.” The stunned look on his face would be comical if I wasn’t fighting with everything I had to not cry in front of him and Beck. I try to push him off me but he’s too lost in his own head, trying to decipher my words.

“Show him.” I stop fighting and turn my head to the side to see Beck now stands a foot away from my bed with a look of… lust in his eyes. Lust? There is no freaking way Beckett Dawson finds me attractive, is there? He drops his gaze to me and the intensity in his pale green eyes has my breath hitching. “Show him you only want him, with me standing right here.” I hold his stare for a second before slowly looking back at Darius, who is frowning down at me. I don’t know what the hell is going on and I am so confused.

“Do you want him?” The husky tone of Darius’s voice has need building inside me. What the fuck is wrong with me, he was cruel and mean today and here I am beneath him getting wet just from the tone of his voice. Unsure on how to answer him, I turn away. He grips my chin and forces my gaze back to him, the intensity in it has my body warming and my chest feeling tight. “Answer me, Goldie.”

“I… I don’t…” I can’t even form a coherent sentence. I only want Darius but the thought of living out a fantasy with Darius and Beck is hard to deny. I trust both of these men to care for me and keep me safe, which is why it’s hard to say no . Darius bends down and runs his nose along the column of my neck to my lobe before clamping his teeth gently. Despite me trying not to, a moan still slips free. His hot breath fans across my ear, sending a shiver down my spine and my eyes rolling back. Darius has always had a way of making me forgive him just from the way he can play my body like an instrument.

“I want you, Goldie.” His whispered words are my undoing, all thoughts of Beckett fly out the window when I cup Darius’s face and pull his lips to mine. The moment my tongue pushes through his lips, he groans at the taste of me. I know this is so fucked up and isn’t healthy, I just don’t care. He may never be mine publicly but a huge part of me will always belong to him and I came to terms with that a long time ago. He deepens the kiss as he grinds his growing erection into me. I gasp into his mouth granting him full access that he takes advantage of. He becomes my oxygen, he has the ability to suck the life out of me only to breathe it back into my lungs.