Epilogue

Ruby

I've been thinking of my soul.

Maybe it's the new soul I carry. The devastating innocence that is a new and delicate life. Maybe it's that I've taken the life of a man who should have loved me. A man I should have loved. A brother I didn't know about, but shared a father with. A man who never knew what it meant to be loved or to love in return.

I've been thinking of my soul, and the threads of black that have been weaved into the glowing light of hope and love this last year. I've been thinking, and I think I know what I need to do to make it just a little more right.

To making loving this dark man, with his jagged heart, right.

Pulling the blanket tighter around my body, I let my head fall softly against one broad shoulder. The swing rocks gently, swaying the flutter of sleepy butterflies in my belly. Thick, beautiful, sometimes dangerous fingers are linked between mine, and a soft drizzle of fall rain drips from the leaves of still lush, but burnished ruby, trees.

I shift on the swing, lifting my feet where they dangle between my husbands legs. With his free hand, he tucks the blanket around my feet, his dark eyes landing curiously on me.

"Do you want to go inside?"

"No."

"Are you cold?"

"No," I lie. But even though I am cold, I'm not ready to go inside. Not yet. His eyes follow as I rest our linked hands on my swollen belly, snapping to mine when I speak. "I want to start a charity. Or maybe it's not a charity." I fumble my words. "A program, maybe?"

"Go on."

"I want your full support," I warn.

His eyes narrow, but only slightly. "Tell me what you want, Ruby."

He won't deny me. I know he won't. Still, I feel nervous.

I suck in a deep breath. "I want to start something for people who have been exposed to human trafficking. Something to help them. Somewhere safe for them to go to heal. Resources to help the missing. I want to offer them a place to find faith, and healing, if they need it. But I won't push it. I'll never push that on anyone, but I want the option to be there if it's desired."

Krill is silent for a long moment. He simply watches me with those beautifully dark eyes. "Why?"

My nose pricks with emotion. I do my best to blink it from my eyes. "Because this world is terrible, and it needs a little light. I think I can do that—offer some light."

"Why?" he presses. He knows me so well.

My voice shakes. "Because my father was a terrible man. He was the worst kind of man, Krill. The things he did to innocent people?—"

"You are not responsible."

"I want to do right. I need put some good back into the world, if only to counteract some of the terribleness he inflicted. I need—" I rub my belly. "I need to help."

"I am not a good man."

"You aren't a bad man, either. You're grey. Foggy. Something between." I offer him a small, sad smile. "But your soul is tethered to mine. I won't be happy in the beyond if I'm not in that place with you. So I'll do all that I can to spread as much light in our dark life as I can. I'll do it for me and for you. For our baby. I'll do it for our souls that have been touched by darkness, and I'll do it for the people who have been affected by someone else's terrible cruelties."

"I've never sold a soul, Ruby. Nor has my brother."

"I know." I can't look at him. "But I know my father did. So did my brother."

"You are not responsible for them."

"I know. But in the case of my father, I loved him. I feel guilty for loving him. For never seeing what he was. For having a piece of him that was good when all the other pieces fell so, so badly."

His jaw hardens. For a long moment, he simply digests my words. Quietly, he says, "If you do this, you don't do it for him."

"It's not for him," I whisper again. My eyes drop to my belly, tears stinging. "It's for the soul I'm carrying. For our child. For us, and for the people I know we can help."

"Then you have my full support, Ruby. In all that you do, I will stand with you."

"Thank you."

"I love you, my Ruby. My wife."

His words tug at the scar-hardened soul he's tethered to his own. I whisper, "I love you. I'll love you until the end."

"You'll love me for forever, Ruby Volkov. When I said I was keeping you, I meant for eternity."

"And beyond."

He bends low to press a kiss to my lips. A promise stamped to the very soul he stole. I vow, "And beyond."

***