Chapter 17

Seventeen

R uby

Pushing thoughts of my husband from my mind grows harder and harder with every night I spend wrapped up in his arms.

After last night, however, pushing him from my mind is almost impossible.

So many firsts happened last night. I orgasmed for the first time in twenty-three years. I slept naked in a man's arms. I had a man's mouth on my—I can't even say it. I blush just thinking of what he'd done to me.

"So, you're Leonid's son?" I ask Maxim. "And he oversees security on the property?"

"Da." Yes .

I've asked Maxim to teach me Russian, and he's taken his job as my teacher quite seriously.

"But Dimitri is Kirill's personal guard? Like you're mine?"

"Da."

"And Leonid is Dimitri's uncle, so you're cousins?"

"Da. And Tatiana is Dimitri's mother. Her brother is my father."

"Are you related to Kirill, as well?"

Maxim shakes his head. "Not by blood."

"So, it's all your family here, then?"

"Much of my family works for Kirill," Maxim admits with a nod. "We are close like family."

I consider for a moment, my hand stroking Simba's head where he sits on the floor next to where I've curled up on the couch, sitting sideways with my legs lifted and crossed, angled to face Maxim. I ask hesitantly, "What about Kirill's family?"

Maxim looks at me, his blue eyes seeing more than I think he likes to let on. I fight the urge to shift under his scrutiny. "What about Kirill's family?"

"Is he close to them?"

He rolls his lips. "Why don't you let Kirill tell you about himself?"

I tense. Simba cocks his head as observant eyes study me. "I don't want to talk to him."

"Why not?"

Because he makes me feel things I don't want to feel. Because when he looks at me with his dark eyes, as deep as an ocean trench and as unexplored, I feel as though I might be pulled into the depths, never to breathe again.

Because he's a bad man, and I already feel so much shame for letting all that has transpired between us to transpire.

Because he's my husband, and I'm afraid to know him. Afraid that if I know him, I might love him. Even if that love is reluctant.

Because there's just something about him. Something the innermost parts of me responds to, as unwilling as I am.

I lift my chin. "I'm asking you."

He considers for a long moment. Then he sighs. "He's close enough to his family."

A guard strolls by the window, blinking in and out of view with just a few strides. I sigh a heavy sigh, and Simba drops his head to rest in my lap. I'm sure the dog is capable of great terrors, but he's been nothing but kind, and affectionate, and gentle to me.

Kind of like his master.

No. I reject the thought as soon as it comes for the lunacy that it is. Forcing me to sleep next to him each night, stealing kisses and orgasms, isn't gentle. And it's not affection.

It's evil.

I decide to change the subject. "You know, I was studying to be a librarian before all this."

His brows rise, eyes dragging over me before a grin hitches his lips. "Yeah, I can see that."

"Mama was a pediatric oncology social worker. She adored kids, and even though she saw the worst of what God had to offer them, her faith was unshakable." I glance up from petting Simba to see Maxim watching me, waiting. "She passed away from lung cancer not long before?—"

"Before?" Maxim prompts after a moment.

I force a small smile. "Before I came here. Before I was kidnapped, my rights and dreams stripped from me."

He doesn't shift, uncomfortable, like most people would be. He simply says, "And your faith?"

"Mama got a cough that wouldn't go away. She started sleeping in on her days off instead of working in the gardens she loved so much. She never smoked a day in her life, but by the time she was tested, the cancer had spread. With her experience watching children struggle, she decided to forego treatment. She held onto her faith until the end, which didn't take long." I flick away a single tear. "It never seems to take long when the patient is accepting."

"I'm sorry, Ruby."

"My father, a man I adored, who showed me gentle hands and encouraged me always, turned out to be a monster. The thing people fear most. A nightmare." My eyes land on his, and hold. "And now I'm married to a similar monster. A man who is no better than the monster who raised me. A man submerged in the dark underworld, where demons peddle flesh and drugs for riches." My hands tremble as my fingers knot in my lap. "So, as you can imagine, my faith has been shattered. So much that I'm not sure there's anything left at all."

Maxim leans forward to plant his elbows on his knees, taking a moment to digest my words. Finally, he replies, "He's not the monster you think he is."

"Oh?" I sound far too bitter for my twenty-three years. "And who is he, pray tell?"

A new voice—a dark, dangerous voice fills the silence. "I am many things, dear wife. Among others, I am corrupt, immoral, and incredibly dangerous. I use the power I possess to manipulate lesser powers in my favor. In the favor of my family. But one must be corrupt to fight corruption. Otherwise, one can't hope to understand that there are no rules to the game. And one will, inevitably, lose." A flicker of fear sparks in my chest as my eyes lift to land on him. He looks angry. No, not angry. Livid . "I, wife, do not lose."

Like I always do when he comes to me outside the shadows of the night, I flee him.