Chapter 36

Chapter Thirty-Six

There’d been no clear plan in Isaac’s mind when he’d left Ramirez and the two women he’d procured for Gomez to play with before he’d headed to Alliez’s office.

He knew what he’d have to do when he arrived back at the house, and he wanted to put it off as long as possible. The two women would’ve been drugged and used, so he’d have to make sure they got back to their homes safely.

That was another part of this fucking assignment that he hated—finding women for Gomez to use and abuse.

After the event, Isaac always made sure they were compensated well for the trauma they would’ve gone through. Even though he picked women who worked the sex trade and told them what would be expected of them, he still hated every minute of it.

Right now, his stomach churned with disgust at what he’d find when he returned and donned the Javier persona he’d been wearing for the last eight years.

“Are you going to be able to keep doing this?” Owens asked.

Isaac was surprised his handler had kept a hold of his shit when he walked into the conference room, effectively blowing his cover.

He sat with the question because everyone in the room was watching him. He’d been trying to avoid Growler’s eyes, but it’d been hard.

If he knew what Isaac had done, he wouldn’t be breathing.

Growler would have put a bullet between his eyes so fast no one would be able to stop him.

The truth would have to come out. He couldn’t sit with it much longer. Would they understand he’d done what he’d done because he had no choice?

“I’ll be able to deal. I’ll do what I have to do to see this through to the end.” Did he put enough conviction into his voice to convince everyone in the room?

Isaac had bluffed enough people over the past eight years. He was confident he’d done enough in this moment.

Owens nodded. He was aware just how difficult being in this room was for him. His handler knew what he’d done. Isaac hadn’t been able to keep it from him. While Owens hadn’t been happy, he’d understood.

“Why do I get the feeling that there’s more going on here?” Ox asked.

“Because when it comes to situations like the one I’m in, there’s always more going on than what you see at face value. Things are done because they need to be done, not because they want to be done.”

Was he being cryptic? Yes, he had to be. Isaac didn’t want to say the words out loud. Sometimes things were better left unsaid.

“How did you get the cartel off Astrid’s back?” Growler’s question shouldn’t be a surprise, but it was.

Isaac shrugged. “Told Ramirez if he did anything, the backlash would be too much. Astrid’s a celebrity. Whenever there’s a celebrity death or incident, it’s all over social media. Besides, you were all involved. You knew who Pedro was, and his connection. There was no way you’d let this go.”

Growler leaned forward. “That sounds too easy. Why would he agree to that so easily? ”

“Cass works here. I was trying to keep him as far away from her as possible. I may have also caused an issue at one of the drug processing plants at the same time.” Isaac had been desperate to try and get Gomez off Cass’s trail, but he hadn’t been able to make him forget. The man was determined to get his niece back.

“Anything else we need to know about? Because, obviously, you did the same thing with Teresa.” This came from Angel, Isaac didn’t think the man would ever forgive him for shooting his woman.

Add another item to his list of things he hadn’t wanted to do but had to.

“I’ve already explained why I did what I did to Teresa. And yes, I shifted his attention off Teresa onto more pressing things. It also helped that you guys took down his trafficking ring so he was angry about his new venture going sideways.”

“Look, we can keep going over the past, or we can move forward and make a plan to get rid of my uncle,” Cass said, frustrating coloring her voice. “You can’t tell me that every single one of you in this room haven’t done things that go against your morals, but you did it because you had to survive. Not to mention, help people. That’s what Isaac’s done. Astrid and Teresa are alive and here because of what he did. That should be thanks enough for you all. ”

As much as Isaac appreciated Cass’s words, for him, they weren’t necessary. The fact she said them at all after what he’d done to her—what his actions had caused in her life—was a miracle.

One he was grateful for.

“Thank you, but they’re allowed their grievances,” he said.

“Cass is right. We need to make a plan on how to stop Ramirez from getting her. And how we can get rid of him,” Irish said, his gaze firmly fixed on Isaac.

“Getting rid of him will cause chaos again,” he warned. “But we knew that going in.”

“So long as the fight stays on their side of the border, then that’s all that matters,” Owens said. “We know it will get messy, but we have plans in motion to deal with whatever the fallout will be.”

Plans Isaac knew nothing about, and he was happy with that. After this assignment finished, if he got out alive, he’d reevaluate what he wanted out of his life.

They spent the next hour making plans, trying to cover for every contingency. They couldn’t come up with something to cover every scenario, but Isaac was impressed with what plans Alliez had in place. He also suspected they were holding back on telling him and Owens everything they had, and he didn’t blame them.

Whatever tech they had for surveillance and to find people, most likely all the alphabet agencies would want to get their hands on it.

Isaac stood and pushed back from the table. “I need to get out of here. I’ll keep in touch with Owens, and he can pass on my information to you.”

“Appreciate your help. If there’s anything extra you need, let me know.” This came from Ox, and his intense expression suggested it wasn’t a token offer.

If Isaac did need anything, Alliez would be there for him.

After all he’d done, he appreciated it. However, there was one thing he needed to do. It could unravel everything he’d achieved in this meeting, but he had to.

Isaac went to Growler. “Can I have a word in private?” he asked.

“Anything you want to say can be said in front of everyone.” The mistrust wasn’t hard to miss in Growler’s eyes.

“I’d prefer not to, but if this is how you want to play it, then so be it.” As much as he wanted to keep this between him and Growler, perhaps it would be better to say it in front of everyone. Then the story would be his, not a secondhand one that he was sure Growler would relay back to his colleagues. “I wanted to say sorry about Operation Tijuana.”

Growler’s eyes narrowed as Isaac had suspected they would the moment he said the name of a mission he’d been on when he’d been a SEAL.

“How the fuck do you know about that?” the man demanded.

“You know how.”

A second later, he was slammed against the wall, a forearm jammed against his throat.

Isaac didn’t even attempt to push Growler away.

“You were the reason that mission got fucked up. Why my friend almost died? Why I almost died?”

“Yeah.” That was all he could choke out. His eyes were starting to water and swallowing was becoming more and more difficult.

“You fucking traitor!” Growler’s eyes were wide with anger. The veins on the side of his head prominent. “How much blood do you have on your hands?”

“Too much.”

Isaac was aware of people pulling Growler off him, but the former SEAL wasn’t budging.

Not that Isaac could blame him. If he’d been on the receiving end of the fucked-up mission and had found the person responsible for it, he’d be acting the same way.

“That’s enough,” Ox yelled.

Finally, Growler released his hold .

Isaac sucked in some air.

“Why?” Growler ground out.

He straightened his shirt and adjusted his jacket. “I had to. Ramirez suspected there was a mole in his organization, which there was—apart from me. Anyway, I had to prove my loyalty.”

“By almost getting us blown up?” Growler yelled.

Isaac had known the truth wasn’t going to go well.

Over Growler’s shoulder, Owens shook his head.

It would’ve been better if he’d kept his sins to himself, but he couldn’t—not when in all likelihood, they’d be working together to get rid of Ramirez. “I tried to make sure no one was hurt. I’m very sorry your teammate got wounded.” Nothing he said could make it better, but he couldn’t ignore the other man. Nor his pain or anguish.

“Growler, Rocket is fine, you know that. He’s happy and married. You’re okay, too and have Astrid. It’s not ideal, I know that, but we know the lines we have to cross. Isaac is the same.” Ox’s response was calm and reasonable—something Isaac didn’t deserve.

What he’d observed in the last couple of hours was that the leader of Alliez was rational. Someone who looked at all angles.

Isaac appreciated that about him.

“I’ll be off now.” Staying around wouldn’t achieve anything. He sidestepped the men and headed for the door.

As he stepped out, a hand halted his progress.

Issac looked back.

Irish stared, his blue eyes cold and distant. “You do anything that puts Cass’s life at risk, and you’ll wish you were never born.”

He stared the man down for a few seconds, before shaking off the large hand. “Trust me, there are days I wish I hadn’t been born.”