Chapter 5

5

W e rode home from the Manor in complete silence.

I preferred it this way. Not because I didn’t have a million questions—I absolutely did—but because I wasn’t ready to handle the answers to any of those questions. I needed time to think. I needed time to absorb the very frightening fact that had drawn us to the Manor in the first place.

The Darkness was not contained. The Darkness was still out there, and it still wanted me.

I don’t know what expression was on my face as I spiraled down through these thoughts, but no one felt the need to press me with questions when we got home. My mom smiled tightly at me, her eyes sparkling with repressed pain and worry, and asked if I wanted to talk. When I told her no, that I needed time to think, she looked almost relieved. Even Persi was subdued as we all trudged into the cottage to stew quietly in our own spaces. Rhi retreated to the kitchen, Persi to her bedroom, and my mom out into the garden. And I went up to my little room, where I found Freya perched expectantly on the end of my bed, like she was waiting for me.

“Hi,” I croaked when I saw her.

She cocked her head to one side and then scooted over to make room for me. The invitation unhinged me, dissolved my tenuous grasp on my self-control, and I fell onto my bed, bursting into tears. Freya curled up against me, tucking her head under my chin, and purred softly until I’d cried myself out. She didn’t huff or try to wriggle away from me when I pulled her closer to me. I felt her purrs slow to match my breathing as I calmed down, felt her rub her head against my jaw in slow, soothing circles. Gradually, my body relaxed, and the sobs shivered rather than wracked through me, and then stopped altogether, leaving me feeling like an overcooked noodle. Soon, I fell asleep and didn’t wake until the next morning, when the light was pale and the shadows still deep, like they were clinging to bits of the night as it slipped away with the dawn. I could still feel Freya’s warm body pressed up against me. I pushed up onto one arm and found her looking intently at me, as though to say, “Well? Better?”

“Thanks,” I whispered to her. “I really needed to get that out, and I didn’t want to do it in front of them.”

Freya huffed a little breath and bumped her nose against my cheekbone.

“Yeah, I’m done being dramatic,” I told her. “Your tolerance was much appreciated.”

She slunk out from under my arm and settled into a little loaf, looking at me expectantly. Apparently, she felt she was entitled to an explanation.

“I’m just scared,” I said. “I don’t know how to protect myself or anyone else. And I think we’re going to need protection. The Gray Man isn’t trapped, and he isn’t gone.”

Freya narrowed her eyes and let out a hiss.

“My thoughts exactly.”

Freya sat up on her haunches and looked at me imperiously. Then she walked across the bed and up onto my bedside table. She placed a paw lightly on the stack of books and then looked at me pointedly as she batted the book on the top of the pile right onto the bed. I stared first at the book and then at Freya, who looked calmly back.

“Were you always this helpful, and I just didn’t notice?” I whispered.

She sniffed impatiently and began to groom herself.

“Right. Well, thanks. And I think you’re right. Whining won’t help. I need to start learning.” Strange that I needed a cat to call me on my bullshit, but it wasn’t the strangest thing that had happened to me in the last few days, so I guess I could take it in my stride. But regardless of whether it was really Freya guiding me or not, I couldn’t afford to be self-indulgent anymore. I’d given myself one night of fear and doubt and self-pity. Time to pull it together, or I might as well have just invited the Darkness to swallow me up because, at this moment, I was no more than a sitting duck.

I took a very long, very hot shower, and by the time I’d gotten dressed and brushed my hair, I was starting to feel halfway human. As I gathered up my books to head downstairs, I thought I heard a car pulling away from the house. I looked out the window and saw my mom driving down the road into town. I glanced at my phone to check the time and saw she had texted me.

Didn’t want to disturb you. Have to meet with the real estate lawyer in Portland. We can talk when I get back. Love you, honey. It’s all going to be fine. Somehow.

I’d known about the appointment, but I’d forgotten all about it. Now I felt my heart sinking as I watched her drive away. That feeling I’d had over the last few days, like she was avoiding me, began to intensify. I’d woken up this morning realizing I had to face my new reality head on, but it seemed like my mom wasn’t quite there yet.

Luckily, she wasn’t the only witch in the house who could help me.

Rhi was sitting in the kitchen when I walked in, a cup of tea by her elbow and a book open on the table in front of her. She looked up at the sound of my approach.

“Wren! I wasn’t expecting to see you so early,” she said, marking her place in the book and setting it aside. “Would you like some tea?”

“Sure,” I said, sliding into the seat beside her with my own stack of books.

“How are you feeling? After yesterday, I mean?” Rhi asked, her eyes probing me anxiously as she spooned tea leaves from a mason jar into a little metal infuser.

I smiled weakly. “I had a kind of… existential crisis last night, I think. But I think I got it out of my system, at least for the moment.”

“I’m sorry you faced that alone,” Rhi said.

“I wasn’t alone. Freya stayed with me.”

Rhi smiled and nodded. “None better than a familiar for a job like that.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Anyway, I’ve decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, and start learning what I can. I don’t want to be an easy target anymore.” I patted the books.

“We came to similar conclusions, then,” Rhi said, setting the steaming cup of tea down in front of me, and taking her seat again. “After listening to the Conclave last night, I’m also determined to focus on your magical education. But I’ve also come to the conclusion that I’ve been going about it all wrong.”

I frowned. “Rhi, you can’t blame yourself just because I suck at baking.”

“That’s not what I mean. And you don’t suck at it, Wren, you just need practice,” Rhi snapped. “But your cooking skills aren’t the issue here. It’s me. I’ve started in the wrong place. I’ve started you out the way I would any young witch who hadn’t yet shown any predisposition towards a certain kind of magic. I didn’t even really think about it. It just seemed natural to begin at the beginning. But the truth is that you’re much further along in the development of your powers than a mere child would be, and I ought to have taken that into account.”

“I’m glad you think I’ve developed somehow, because I’m not seeing it,” I said.

“Wren, if the events on the beach haven’t convinced you that you are a Vesper witch through and through, I’m not really sure what else can.”

She said the words gently, but there was steel in them, enough to make me lift my head and look her in the eye. She was staring at me with such intensity that I could feel her intention as clearly as I could when I bit into her baking. She was willing me to believe in myself the way she believed in me.

“It’s not that I think I have no power,” I finally said. “I know I have it. I felt it coursing through me that night. The problem is, it seems to be hiding from me. It feels like it only appeared to save my life, you know? Like an adrenaline rush or something. I feel like one of those people who lifts a car off an injured person in an emergency, but can hardly open a pickle jar the rest of the time.”

Rhi laughed —the sound was hearty and hoarse and comforting.

“I’m not trying to make a joke,” I pointed out.

“I know you aren’t, honey, I’ve just never heard anyone explain it that way before,” she said, still chuckling. “And you’re exactly right. Our powers often manifest themselves when our instincts take over. It’s almost as though we have to stop thinking in order to connect with them, and of course, when you’re trying to learn, it’s very hard to do that.”

“Learning without thinking,” I repeated. “Yeah. That basically sounds impossible.”

“Well, I promise you, it isn’t,” Rhi said, squeezing my arm. “Which brings me back to my original point. Yesterday, the Conclave said we ought to consider an affinity study. Did you understand what that meant?”

“I think so. They want to test me for my natural magical talent, right?”

“Exactly. When I set out to teach you, I started with my own affinity because that’s where I’m most comfortable. But that’s backward. I need to start with your affinity because that’s where you’re most comfortable. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah, I guess so. But how do I find out what my affinity is?” I asked.

“You already know it,” Rhi said.

I just blinked at her. Rhi smiled again.

“You are most likely an elemental witch,” she said.

I blinked again. “I’m going to need you to elaborate on that,” I said.

“An elemental witch is very much what it sounds like. Your magic works directly with the elements—that is to say, earth, air, water, and fire. Typically, an elemental witch would find herself drawn much more deeply to one of those elements than the others. A fire witch, for example, would find that she is drawn to that element and that it manifests her power the easiest of the four.”

“Are there any other elemental witches in our family?” I asked.

“Yes. Asteria was a green witch, which meant that she was deeply connected to the element of Earth. All you need to do is look at our gardens here at Lightkeep to see how her affinity to that element manifested itself,” Rhi said.

Automatically, my eye was drawn through the French doors to the gardens beyond, where the flowerbeds exploded in riots of color, and the trees hung heavy and ripe with clusters of blossoms and fruit. I’d accepted the garden as the wonderland it was at first sight. It felt like such a natural part of Lightkeep Cottage that I had never stopped to consider that it might be magic that made it so lush and enchanting. I allowed one of my vivid memories of Asteria to float to the surface of my mind, and all at once, I felt it: that same energy she always had, that joyous spark, that twinkle in her eyes, it lived in that garden. I looked at Rhi, and I knew she could read the sudden wonder on my face as her smile bloomed as slowly and brightly as one of Asteria’s flowers.

“Asteria could make a rose blossom in a snowstorm if she chose,” Rhi said, still smiling. “Her salves and teas and potions were always particularly potent because her herbs and flowers and seeds had been tended by her hands, and nurtured by her magic. It enhanced all of their properties, and the resulting spells were always the more powerful for it.”

“Who else?” I asked.

Rhi hesitated oddly, then said, “Ostara is an elemental witch. She has an affinity for fire.”

“That tracks,” I said, and Rhi laughed.

“Yes, she is a bit… well, fiery, isn’t she?”

“How do I find out what kind of elemental witch I am?” I asked.

“Well, we’ll need to start experimenting, but I… I think… well…” Rhi bit her lip like she was steeling herself to say something.

I felt my heart begin to beat a little harder against my ribs. “What is it?”

“I’ve been thinking about this since the night on the beach. The fact is that a witch can produce extraordinary magic when her life is in danger —our magic is meant to come to our aid, if only to save the vessel in which it is contained. But what you managed to do on the beach—the calling of four elements and the wielding of them in such profound and powerful ways—I think it might mean that you are more than the average elemental witch.”

Rhi paused, almost as though to see how these words had affected me, but I couldn’t respond. I was still trying to absorb what she was saying to me.

“Wren?”

“Yeah, I… can you please explain?”

“There is a reason the Darkness has been drawn to you. From the time you were a small child, the Darkness saw something in you that piqued its interest. Its determination has never waned. Asteria never knew exactly why, but she knew it was dangerous. That was why she put that protective spell on you, and as long as she lived, it protected you. But even Asteria knew she couldn’t protect you forever. I think she was buying you time, Wren, until your powers were strong enough so that you could protect yourself. And that night on the beach, you did.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t actually know what I was doing!” I said. The panic was mounting inside me, and I did my best to beat it back, to maintain control over my breathing. “I just… called for help, and the elements answered. It was their power, not mine!”

But Rhi was shaking her head. “It was the call that held the power, not the answer. Not to say that the elements aren’t powerful—they have a power we can only dream of as witches. But to summon them like that, and for each of them to respond with such force… I’ve never seen anything like it.”

She was speaking softly, gently, but each word felt like a blow to my body, like being battered by ocean waves relentlessly, each one crashing over me before I’d even picked myself up from the last.

“I think we can conclude, then, that your connection to all four physical elements is powerful. We should test them each individually, to compare them; but I expect we will find your power to be formidable with each one. But even then, our affinity study would not be complete. When non-witches think of the elements, they think only of four: earth, water, air, and fire. But there is a fifth element, Wren, powerful in its own way, and far more ephemeral and rare to connect with. That element is called spirit.”

I swallowed in my haste to answer, and felt the hot tea scald my throat all the way down. “Spirit like… like ghosts?” I choked.

“It’s a bit more complicated than that, but that’s how it often manifests, yes. Bernadette, for example, is an elemental witch who connects deeply with spirit. It’s why she was able to communicate with Sarah Claire, the reason she was able, essentially, to pull Sarah across the transom and maintain a connection with her, even after she had closed her circle. It is also the reason behind her remarkable abilities as an oracle. Glimpses into the future and the past can only come from a deep connection to spirit.”

I frowned. “Okay. But what does that have to do with me?”

“We all know that the Darkness is interested in you,” Rhi began carefully, and then sighed. “Oh, why are we dancing around this. We all know how serious it is. The Darkness went to extraordinary lengths to capture you, and that means you must have powers far beyond the ordinary. It has to be something incredibly rare. I was thinking about your control of the first four elements, and then I wondered: was it possible you could also have a connection to the element of spirit? And if that’s the case, you are not just an elemental witch. You are a pentamaleficus … a witch of the five.”

“I… but no spirits came to help me,” I pointed out, trying to keep the hysteria out of my voice. “The other elements did, but it’s not like an avenging horde of ghosts showed up.”

“Ah, but the other elements showed up because you called them. You weren’t aware spirit was one of the elements, so you didn’t think to call on it. But if you had… would it have answered?”

I couldn’t answer that question. No one could.

Rhi smiled a little at my non-answer. “This is what we must discover. A pentamaleficus is a rare thing—perhaps a once-in-a-century gift. And given the Darkness’ interest in you, I think it’s a very real possibility.” She was keeping her voice deliberately calm and soothing, speaking the words that were shaking me to the core as though they were a lullaby.

My mind reeled, not because I thought her words felt impossible, but because they felt terrifyingly probable. I’d been ready to retort that I had no connection to spirit at all, had never had so much as a brush with activity; but then I realized, with a start, that that wasn’t true. Hadn’t I heard a voice calling only the other night? Hadn’t I seen my dead grandmother from my bedroom window?

“Okay,” I said under my breath. “Okay, okay, okay.” The word just kept coming, and I wasn’t even sure what I meant. That I was okay? I didn’t feel okay. That everything would be okay? I didn’t really believe that either. Rhi could hear my distress.

“Breathe, Wren, honey,” she murmured.

My body took her advice automatically, sucking in huge lungfuls of air, and blowing them out slowly until the room stopped spinning. I looked up at Rhi, ready to tell her that I’d seen Asteria’s ghost, but I couldn’t bring myself to make her look any more anxious than she already was. Instead, I asked, “So, now what?”

“Now, we need to decide how to test your spirit affinity. I think I should talk to Xiomara. She’s the most powerful spirit witch in Sedgwick Cove.”

This statement surprised me enough to pull me up out of my panic. “I thought Xiomara was a kitchen witch, like you?”

Rhi smiled. “She is. But her affinity for the kitchen is different than mine. She can explain it better than I can. What would you think about going to see her, maybe tomorrow, if she’s available?”

“Sure,” I said, and the thought actually calmed me a little. Xiomara had a very commanding presence. I’d found it intimidating at first, but now the idea of talking to her made me feel better. Xiomara was always so sure of herself, so confident in her answers and her abilities. She would know what to do. I looked at Rhi again, and found I could return her smile. “That’s a good idea. Will you ask her?”

“Of course,” Rhi said. “She’ll be busy this early, no doubt, prepping to open the cafe for the day; but, I’ll stop by later on my way to Shadowkeep.”

“And what should I do?” I asked.

“I found this book for you,” Rhi said. “It’s all about affinities, and I think it might help if you read it.”

I was so relieved that she wasn’t dragging me into the backyard to start calling the elements that I snatched the book up gratefully. “Sounds good,” I said. “Knowledge is power, right?”

“That’s right,” she said, with a little nod of approval at my attitude. “And Wren, honey…” She reached over and took my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “We’re going to figure this out. We’re going to do better than protect you—we’re going to help you protect yourself. Okay?”

Her face was so fiercely protective that it put a lump in my throat that I had to swallow against before I could answer. “Thanks, Rhi.”

“And when I say ‘we,’ I mean all of us,” she said. “Persi, your mom, all of us. Persi can be a bit… well, prickly, but she does care about you. And your mother loves you more than her own self. None of us are going to leave you undefended. Maybe the Darkness has a faulty memory, or maybe it simply didn’t learn the lesson of its run-ins with our ancestors, but the Darkness is messing with the wrong coven.”

The mention of my mom triggered a memory from the previous night. “Rhi, what kind of witch is my mom?”

Rhi’s expression faltered a little. “A confused one, disconnected from her magic,” she said finally.

“That’s not what I meant,” I said, but Rhi put up a hand.

“I know. But I think you should ask her about it. I don’t want to overstep any more than I already have,” she said. “I couldn’t let her drag her feet when it came to your education, but as far as dealing with her own baggage… well, she needs to do that in her own time.”

There was a sinking feeling of disappointment in my chest, but I didn’t argue.

“Now, how about some breakfast to go with that tea?” Rhi asked.

“Sounds great.”

Rhi got up and started zipping around the kitchen, back in her element. I started leafing through the book she’d given me as I sipped my tea, and was glad to find that it had been written with beginners in mind. My phone buzzed against my leg, and I saw that I had two texts waiting for me. The first was from Eva, reminding me about the meeting at the playhouse that night. I’d nearly forgotten about it, but responded that I would be there. The second was from Nova.

I need to talk to you.

I frowned. It was the first I’d heard from Nova since that night on the beach. I was simultaneously relieved to get a message, and anxious about the content.

Sure, what’s up? I replied.

Not over text. We need to meet up. Tonight?

I’ll be at the playhouse for the pageant rehearsal. Can you meet me there?

Shit, is that tonight? Yeah, maybe. I’ll let you know.

I waited a few more minutes, but my phone stayed quiet. I guess I’d have to wait until tonight to find out what Nova Claire had to tell me.