Chapter 54: Everly

Chapter

Fifty-Four

EVERLY

I follow Cenric into his command tent. The space is empty, save for a large table, covered in maps and scrolls, and ten chairs.

He gestures to one of the chairs.

The wooden seat creaks as I plop down. "Well, aren't you a fountain of conversation this morning."

He ignores me as he moves to the other side of the table and leans over a map.

I clear my throat. "So, are you still mad at me?"

No response. Not even a grunt. I might as well be talking to one of the tent poles.

"You know, the silent treatment isn't exactly a mature way to handle conflict."

Still nothing.

I cross my arms and stare at him, determined to out-silence the master of brooding .

One minute passes. Then two. My resolve wavers.

"This is ridiculous. Are you trying to bore me to death? Because if so, it's working."

Those blue eyes flick up to meet mine for a moment before returning to the map.

"I saw that. You can't ignore me forever."

He shifts and reaches for a scroll, and I leap on this minuscule sign of life.

"Was that a sigh? Are you sighing at me? I'll have you know, I'm an excellent sigher. I could out-sigh you any day of the week." To demonstrate, I let out an exaggerated sigh.

Cenric's lips twitch. It's barely noticeable, but I catch it.

"Was that almost a smile?"

Cenric's eyes remain glued to the map, his fingers tracing invisible lines across the parchment.

My stomach twists into knots, each second of silence adding another loop. Is this how it's going to be from now on? I'd have better luck getting conversation out of a shrub.

"Cenric, are you angry?" The words tumble out before I can stop them. "Please don't be angry at me."

His head snaps up at that, his eyes locking onto mine. They scan my face, searching for...something. What, I'm not sure.

"I'm not angry, Everly," he finally says, his voice low and controlled. "I'm processing."

"Processing?" I echo.

He nods.

My throat tightens as Morwen's words echo in my mind. Trust Cenric. Let him help.

The concepts feel foreign, like a language I've never learned. I've always relied on myself, always been the one to solve my own problems. But now, I know I cannot do this alone anymore.

"Cenric," I begin, my voice raw. "I want to tell you about what happened to me when I arrived in Karra."

He nods again, encouraging me to continue.

My hands tremble as I clasp them together. "When I first arrived in Karra, I stumbled into an alley and overheard some men talking about being part of the rebellion. They saw me and..." I swallow through the acid burning my throat, the memory of their rough hands on me making my skin crawl. "They took me to Hawke. He accused me of spying, but I told him I was lost. He said he'd spare my life if I did something for him."

Cenric's jaw clenches.

The words continue to spill out of me. "He wanted me to spy on you. He threatened my family, said he had men in Astarobane who would kill them if I didn't obey. I didn't know what to do. I was so scared. So, you see, I'm not a spy. I'm just a woman who loves her family with every fiber of her being."

When he doesn't respond right away, I add, "Please believe me, Cenric. I need you."

I risk a glance at him, bracing myself for anger, for accusation. Instead, I find something else in his eyes. Something that looks achingly like understanding.

The hard lines of his face relax. "I believe you, Everly," he says, his voice flat, emotionless. He might as well be discussing the price of grain.

I search his face for any sign of warmth, any hint of the connection we shared before. But there's nothing.

"That's why you'll remain by my side from now on." He turns back to the map. "I'll send a missive to Astarobane to protect your family. Though, I doubt Hawke actually has men in Astarobane. But I won't take that risk."

Cenric's words should comfort me, but they don't. They only deepen the hollow feeling in my gut. This isn't the Cenric I know. The one who kissed me with such passion, who looked at me like I was the only person in the world.

I want to scream, to shake him, to demand he look at me, really look. But I remain silent, watching as he continues to study the map, his face a mask of cool detachment.

I struggle to breathe, to think past the growing certainty that nothing will ever be the same between us again.

I flop onto my side for what feels like the hundredth time tonight. Cenric sleeps next to me, his breathing mocking my inability to fall asleep.

I glance over at him, my heart aching at the sight of his relaxed face. His long eyelashes rest against his cheeks, and loose strand of dark hair falls across his forehead.

He looks so peaceful. So unbothered. And here I am, feeling like my heart has been scooped out of my chest.

I turn away, unable to bear looking at him any longer .

It's disheartening to think that a few nights ago there was fire between us. Now, the coldness hanging over us could freeze volcanic ash.

Another snore escapes him, and I resist the impulse to smother him with my pillow. Or maybe smother myself. At least then I'd get some sleep.

I squeeze my eyes shut, willing sleep to come, but all I can think about is Cenric.

Cenric's smile. Cenric's laugh. Cenric's lips on mine.

Cenric, Cenric, Cenric.

A snort escapes me as I yank my blanket closer. The man's barely spoken two words to me all day, and here I am, mooning over him.

Cenric shifts in his sleep, his arm brushing against mine. I freeze, holding my breath. Great. Now, I'm afraid to move in case I wake him.

Maybe if I close my eyes and count sheep, I'll fall asleep.

One.

Two.

Three.

As hard as I try to imagine sheep, the image morphs into Cenric. Then, a field full of scowling, muscular men with broadswords.

That's disturbingly appealing.

What is wrong with me?

I sigh and roll onto my back. Maybe I should start naming the shadows. That one looks like a rabbit. And that one...well, that one looks suspiciously like Cenric's profile .

Wonderful. Even the shadows are conspiring against me now.

"Everly."

I blink, wondering if my ears actually heard him or if I imagined he spoke.

"Go to sleep," Cenric says, his voice thick with drowsiness.

Unable to contain my frustration, I snort. "That's easy for you to say. You've been snoring in my ear."

Cenric shifts behind me, and I brace myself for another icy retort, but what happens next sends a jolt through my entire body. His arm snakes around my waist, and with a gentle tug, he pulls me flush against him. My back presses against his chest, and I feel the steady thump of his heartbeat.

I lie there, rigid, hardly daring to breathe. This can't be real. I must have fallen asleep without realizing it.

"Sleep. Tomorrow will be here soon enough." His words rumble through his chest, vibrating against my back.

I want to argue, to demand answers about his sudden change in behavior. But the comfort of his embrace is too enticing, and I relax into it.