Chapter Nine

Atlas

I never imagined that giving a woman an orgasm would be a massive mistake.

But here we were.

A full week after the dry humping on the couch.

And she was doing absolutely everything in her power to avoid me.

"You're quieter than usual," Kingston said, glancing over from the driver's seat. "Pain starting up again?"

"No," I said, shaking my head.

In fact, the pain was finally at a tolerable level. Even without any over-the-counter pain meds. I occasionally popped some ibuprofen to help with the swelling of my toes, so I wouldn't have to go in and get my cast cut, but overall, I was feeling a lot better.

Sure, if I slammed my leg down too hard, it hurt. And, yeah, my neck could sometimes send a shot of pain up my head if I turned my head too fast. I had to be careful about turning with my ribs, too. Even my fingers ached when I overdid it.

But it was all more background noise than the dominant thing in my life.

Thank God, too. Because with things being tense with AJ, I didn't feel right asking her to help me transfer like she used to.

She didn't want to get close to me now.

I was managing well enough on my own. I didn't even call my brothers anymore when I needed to shower. It was a struggle, but I got it done.

At King's long look, I added, "The pain is a lot better. Only bothers me when I overdo it."

"Good. Glad to hear that. Wasn't it kind of late for AJ not to be home?" he asked, and I couldn't tell if he was probing, or if it was an innocent question.

"She's doing the overnight shift," I explained.

"Isn't that on Tuesday nights?"

"Usually, yeah. But the woman she works with has two kids, and one of ‘em is sick, so AJ volunteered to do her shift."

All of this I knew because of a note jotted on lined paper on the kitchen counter.

That was exclusively how she was communicating with me lately.

Sometimes the notes were short and sweet, just directions on how to heat up the food she'd prepared me.

Others were longer, explaining her made-up schedule of imaginary errands that she needed to run.

I occasionally got to see her in passing, but each time she was in the common area of the house, she appeared to be in a rush, flustered, like she had no time for me.

Somehow, though, she was also still going out of her way to still take care of me.

Each morning, there was breakfast waiting for me.

Dinner wasn't carefully prepared while she chatted with me anymore, but there was always something to eat.

When I went to the bathroom or to get changed at night, she came out to straighten up the living room and leave me some water.

My laundry was done.

I was left to conclude that she was getting a lot of this shit done when I was sleeping. And especially if I was out of the house with one of my siblings. Which was happening more and more now that I was in less pain.

Hence me being in the car with Kingston.

On the way to the Mallick patriarch's house.

Being the in-laws of our sister, the Mallick parents—Charlie and Helen—as well as their children—Ryan, Hunter, Mark, Shane, and Eli—and their sons' wives, had become an extended family to us as well.

And, hey, we all kind of fit, didn't we?

The Mallicks, a family of loan sharks and loan shark enforcers. And the Rivers, a family of former armed (but harmless) robbers.

It was always interesting conversation when we were all gathered around Helen's table.

Hell, sometimes, we even got an outlaw biker named Sugar at the table since Eli, the Mallick's son, was married to a woman named Autumn whose sister married an arms-dealing biker.

I was actually surprised Helen had let me be in town this long without attending her weekly Sunday dinners.

She was strict about attendance.

Not even my injuries would usually hold her back from demanding I show up.

"Alright. What is it?" Kingston asked, making me realize he'd pulled off to the side of the road up a ways from the Mallick house.

"What is what?"

"You've been off every day I've seen you lately," he said. "Is it depression?" he asked. "You need to talk to someone? Get on some meds? I think Dusty could recommend someone," he said, meaning the wife of Ryan Mallick, who struggled with anxiety and agoraphobia.

"No, I'm not depressed," I said.

"Is it restlessness? I know you're used to always being on the go. Having yourself anchored here for this long getting to you?"

"No," I said, surprised to find I actually meant that.

Sure, there were times when I hopped on my laptop and looked around at new places to travel, or festivals I might want to head to someday.

But I noticed that was less and less lately.

Actually, lately, I'd caught myself researching other shit. Like if there was any training you needed to become a surfing coach. What kind of licensing you would need to open a paddleboarding, wakeboarding, kite and wind surfing, or water skiing business.

Hell, I even spent hours looking into real estate on the water for an eventual business location, a home base for a career that I never really could have ever known I might be interested in.

I always knew, of course, that someday, I would need a plan for the rest of my life. I wouldn't be able to do extreme sports forever, which would mean the money from my videos would dry up eventually.

I had to have a plan.

Because while I'd paid off the house, I would always have bills and shit to worry about.

I guess I figured I might always just take a job up at Kingston's security firm more permanently.

The thing was, it wasn't something I was interested in. I could do it. I'd done it a lot in the past. But wouldn't it be better to have a career you were actually passionate about?

And what would be more rewarding than helping stoke a curiosity in water sports in the next generation? Or even just in people who had always wanted to learn, but had been too hindered by fear?

People like AJ.

Who admitted they craved adventure, but had simply never stepped out of their comfort zones.

Slowly but surely, over the past few days, a plan had started forming in my mind.

Was it in my immediate future? No.

I was going to need more capital to get shit going. Which meant I needed to get back out in the world, do more exploring, make more videos.

But it was on my radar now.

It was part of a five and ten-year plan.

And, what's more, I was actually kind of excited about it.

I had a whole list written down of various ‘schools' I wanted to attend in different countries, wanting to learn from people who'd been instructing for years or decades, then take that information and file it away for when I wanted to give that a go with my own life.

"Really?" King asked, looking both surprised and the slightest bit hopeful.

I knew it killed him that I wasn't around, that I didn't seem to want to be around.

A part of me wanted to tell him about my plans for the future. But until I was sure it was going to happen, I didn't want to get his hopes up.

"Yeah. It's been nice to be here. Seeing everyone."

I wasn't just saying that, either.

The more time I spent with my siblings, in-laws, and the kids, the more I wanted to spend time with them.

That was what I always knew would happen. And part of why I spent such little time in Navesink Bank. Because I knew the longer I stayed, the harder it would be to leave. And I'd never been ready to set down roots.

Now, though?

Now, I was thinking of it.

And as much as I couldn't admit this aloud—could barely admit it to myself—a part of that was absolutely because of AJ.

As much as I loved my brothers' wives, I never really understood why they would rather be with just one woman than out being single, and getting to know many women.

Not until I found myself in the house with AJ. And her silly puzzles. Her great cooking. The way she carefully mixed several different kinds of bird food, so she could cater to all of the local birds. How she apologized to the squirrels if she didn't throw peanuts out for them at their scheduled time. Listening to her sing to herself as she cleaned. Watching her interact with Samson, or talk about all the dogs at work.

I just… I don't know… I got it now.

Because I still wasn't sick of her.

In fact, it was making me really fucking crazy that she was avoiding me when I definitely wanted more of her.

"Atlas, like I get that you're on your own all the time and used to not talking to people about shit, but…" Kingston trailed off, exhaling hard. "We used to talk about everything."

I felt it then, a tug that I don't think I'd really felt since I'd first taken off on my own, leaving my family behind. We'd never been apart. Until I'd gone off in search of… everything. And yet nothing at all somehow at the same time.

That string that bound all of us. The one that used to be pulled so tightly. But now? Now, it was stretched almost to breaking.

I suddenly wanted to walk it back, to twist some knots in the weak spots.

"AJ is avoiding me," I blurted out, watching King's brows shoot up.

"AJ? Why?" he asked, shaking his head.

I exhaled hard, gaze sliding away.

"For chrissakes," Kingston said with a strange, choked sigh. "You could practically be in a full fucking body cast, and you're fucking the girl you're rooming with?"

"To be precise, we're not fucking," I said, getting another head shake out of him.

"But something happened."

"Something… small," I said, shrugging, not wanting to share details because I had a feeling AJ would be mortified if I did. "And since right after… I've barely seen her."

"How? You live together?"

"Apparently, she now has approximately twelve thousand errands she needs to run a week. Samson has been to the groomer twice. The second time, he came home with painted nails. She's grasping at straws here," I said, sighing.

It was a sad fucking day when a woman would take her dog to get his nails painted neon green just to avoid sharing a meal or conversation with you.

Kingston's gaze moved out the window for a moment, lost in his thoughts, trying to figure out the right way to say what was on his mind.

He was a fuckuva lot better at that than I was. Than any of my siblings were. I guess that came with the responsibility of the feelings of a bunch of people you were in charge of.

"I get the feeling that… that AJ didn't have it easy before she came to Navesink Bank. I have no concrete reason to say that. It's just… a feeling I get based on how she's reacted to some shit since she moved in."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Kind of put that together myself too."

"Maybe she just needs some reassurance?"

"Of what?"

"That you're not just trying to fuck her and leave her?" he said, then exhaling, "But that is what you're going to do, isn't it?" he asked. "So maybe you should just let her have her space."

"Gee, thanks, bro," I said.

"I love you, Atlas. But I care about that girl, too. You want to go out there and chase a different woman every night, that's your prerogative. But those women know what they're getting into, knows the deal. That's probably not how things are with AJ. You're playing house. It… complicates things. She's probably confused. And trying not to catch feelings."

"Yeah," I agreed, seeing his point.

"And unless you intend to be more serious about her, leave her alone."

With that, he pulled the car away from the curb, and leaving me to think on what he said.

Kingston was good with that. Giving advice with tact and thought, but that didn't always mean it was an easy truth to try to choke down.

By the time Kingston helped me up over the hump leading into the Mallick house in my electric chair, I was swarmed by people.

The kids, always eager to say hi, to demand I let them scribble on my cast some more, were first. Then the sisters-in-law, asking me how I was doing, if I wanted to go here or there with them over the coming week.

Then, finally, my brothers.

"Still look like shit," Nixon said, shooting me a smirk.

"Charming as always, isn't he?" Reagan, his woman, asked from his side, rolling her eyes at him. "You actually look a lot better," she said. "No more sling, huh?"

"Nah. I still have to baby the shoulder, but it's alright. If I could just get this fucking thing off," I said, gesturing toward my leg, "I'd be happy."

"What'd the doc say on that?" Shane Mallick asked as he walked up, holding a beer that looked like a child's toy in his giant hand.

Shane was a wall of a man. He owned a gym, and it was clear he spent a decent amount of time there when he wasn't out busting kneecaps.

"He's optimistic that I might have one or two more weeks in the cast before I go into a boot," I told him.

"Full weight-bearing?" Shane asked.

"Yeah. Said I heal fast. Thank fuck, because I'm tired of not being able to move around."

"Yeah, been there," Shane agreed, nodding.

Being an active guy himself, he had to understand how much it was killing me to be so sedentary. I wanted to at least be able to walk around, even if I had weeks, or even months, of therapy ahead of me before I'm back to a hundred percent. Or as close to that as I could be after such a bad break.

"What's all this?" a woman's voice asked, pushing through the crowd.

And there she was.

The formidable matriarch of the Mallick family. A woman who raised five unruly, dangerous boys, but somehow made them into good men.

Helen was on the tall side, fit, with dark hair and light eyes.

"Well well well," she said, brows raising as she looked at me. "It's about time you showed your face at my table."

"Heya, Helen," I said, shooting her my best boyish smile.

"Oh, those smiles don't work on me. I raised five boys who tried to get away with a lot of shit," she told me.

"Just happy to see you, Helen," I insisted, laying it on thick.

"Oh, horse shit," she said, but she was smiling as she leaned over to press a kiss to my cheek. "How's the leg feeling?"

"It's healing up. I'm hoping to be in a boot soon."

"With even less of an excuse not to show up at my table," she said, glancing past me, looking around.

"Who're you lookin' for, Ma?" Shane asked, following her gaze.

"That girl."

"What girl?" Shane asked, looking as confused as I felt.

Until, little by little, the reality occurred to me.

She was looking for AJ.

Why, I had no idea.

But sometimes Helen got ideas up in her head. Shit that no one else but her knew about. But we somehow needed to answer for even if we didn't know about it in the first place.

"The girl he has been living with for over a month now," Helen said, waving at me.

"AJ?" Kingston asked, head tipped to the side. "Were we supposed to invite her?"

That was the wrong thing to say.

Helen's brows rose.

"No. I wanted you all to talk about getting together, have her watch him get all dressed up, then have you show up to pick him up," she said, looking at King, "and then just leave her there all alone."

Kingston looked stricken at that. He was likely thinking of how rude it was not to invite her, considering all she'd done for me, and how easily she'd forgiven him for not mentioning that I might drop in at some point.

I went ahead and saved him.

"AJ had to work tonight," I told her. "She's covering for the single mom who has a sick kid."

"Oh," Helen said, softening. "That's sweet of her. I keep hearing everyone talking about her. I'd like to meet her," she said, giving me and Kingston a pointed look.

The thing was, I knew that AJ would love coming to the Mallick's for Sunday dinner. This was exactly what she said she was envious of. A big, loud, loving family. And after being so alone for so long, I could understand the desire to experience just once what I so clearly took for granted all the time.

"I'll invite her next week," I told Helen.

"You better," she said before making her way back to the kitchen where most of the women were likely gathered, trying to get everything ready at the same time.

The rest of the night went about as expected. Lots of talking, laughing, eating, and teasing.

As I sat there, looking around at literally everyone at the table who had a significant other aside from me, and I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have someone there. To share smiles and knowing looks with. To lean into. To go home with and discuss the evening.

And, inevitably, the person who materialized in the fantasy was AJ.

The cynical side of me wanted to say it was simply because she was the only woman I'd been around lately who wasn't my family.

The other part, though, knew it was because I just… liked the woman.

"So, I'll take your silence as evidence that you're not going to leave the girl alone," Kingston said as we parked in the driveway of my place.

I took a second, staring at the dark backyard.

Then I sighed, glancing over at my brother.

"I like her, King."

There was a beat of complete silence before Kingston let out a loud laugh. Head back, eyes crinkling, having a good old time.

"Ohh," he sighed after, still grinning. "This must be so uncomfortable for you," he said, shaking his head.

"Thanks, man," I said.

"Look, I get it. She's gorgeous. She's sweet as hell. I'm just worried that she's gonna fall for you, you're gonna get well, and then you'll leave her. Crushed. But if you think there's a chance that you might want to hang around to be with her…" he trailed off, choosing his words, "Then I'm really happy for you, Atlas."

With that, we dropped it.

I got inside.

And overthought that shit until, eventually, I passed out.