Chapter Seven

Atlas

It felt wrong to speculate, but I was getting the impression that maybe in whatever life AJ was living before she came to Navesink Bank, that it involved some asshole with an anger problem.

If she said anything she suddenly realized might be taken the wrong way, she panicked and rushed to rephrase it or apologize for it.

It was like she was accustomed to walking on eggshells, of tiptoeing around the landmines of someone's fragile ego.

Over the weeks, she'd definitely been stressing about it less and less with me, even to the point of poking fun at me at times, but it still happened on occasion. A knee-jerk reaction that she was plainly still trying to shake.

She was so fucking sweet, too, I couldn't imagine getting pissed off at her. But some dickheads didn't need a reason, I guess.

It was nice as fuck to get out.

Sure, I'd run a few errands with my siblings, and went to doctor visits. But it was different to actually get out and feel like a human being. Even if my mobility challenges were… frustrating.

I was just so used to being able to do whatever I wanted to. Having to adjust to needing help and using the chair hadn't been easy for me. But it was worth it for a little more freedom.

And, yeah, as I noticed AJ's stilted steps the longer we moved around the town, I had to admit that the chair definitely had one advantage that just walking on my two feet didn't afford me.

A place for her to sit.

I mean, sure, it was probably a stupid as fuck idea, given how much work it had been taking to stop myself from reacting to her when she was just trying to help me move around.

I woke up fucking hard and aching every morning thanks to images of her.

The crazy shit was it wasn't even just flashes of catching her occasionally rushing through the house in her sleep outfit of panties and a tee that did it.

It was simple, innocent shit too.

The way she smiled, double dimples and scrunched eyes. Or how she danced around while she cooked. Or as simple as the way she shook her hair out after she came home from work.

Then I'd let her help me with my shirt.

I could have figured it out if I'd actually tried. I'd been getting dressed without her for weeks.

But some selfish part of me wanted her help.

And her nearness almost fucking snapped my control.

If I were capable of actually reaching out and grabbing her without some part of me screaming in protest, I was pretty sure I would have done it at that moment.

Instead, I just stood there, watching as she went all pink and heavy-lidded, as I realized she was just as interested as I had become.

"There you go," I said, hearing a thickness in my own voice as AJ lowered her ass onto my lap, her legs draped over my one side. "Isn't that better?" I asked as I willed my cock not to harden.

"My feet are whooshing," she said, making my lips turn up at the phrase. "These aren't even heels. I don't get it."

"It was a lot of walking," I said, going ahead and letting myself drape my arm with the fucked shoulder around her, my fingers resting on her hip, as I used my other hand to get the chair moving again.

"Oh, that's a weird feeling," she said, her body tensing for a moment before she settled into it.

"You might want to hold on for this," I said, seeing the curb cut ahead.

Without hesitation, her arm went around my neck.

Across the crosswalk, I could see a group of women smiling sweetly at us. I could practically see their thoughts all over their faces.

How cute is that?

AJ's arm stayed around me even after the curb cut. And it wasn't long until she was leaning her head against my shoulder, a gentle pressure that, thankfully, didn't hurt. Because I liked having her close.

Did I maybe take the long way around to the main lot that required a trip through a narrow, sketchy little alley between a bar and some shops I'd literally never seen open in all the years I knew the area?

Yep.

And I wasn't even going to feel guilty about it.

I rolled us all the way to the passenger side of the car, and her head finally lifted from my shoulder, looking at me with this dreamy haze in her eyes.

That was the moment.

The one where I could have just leaned forward.

Could have sealed my lips to hers.

But something in me chickened the fuck out.

Then she was coming back to herself, hopping up off of me, and rushing to unlock and open the door, before helping me slip inside.

I watched her as she pushed my chair toward the back of the car, regretting everything that led to that moment of uncertainty.

Because I should have fucking kissed the girl.

But I couldn't.

And now the moment was gone, and we were back to being fucking roommates.

By the time we got inside, AJ was kicking out of her shoes, and I was going to let Samson, who was whining, out the back door where he promptly started to chase rustling leaves in the dark.

I was just coming back into the living room when I heard AJ's phone ring.

Hers wasn't like mine, always pinging, always ringing. I had a lot of people who wanted to make up for lost time by texting and calling me nonstop.

Her circle was, well, not even a circle. I was pretty sure the only people who ever contacted her were her boss and that coworker at her job with the two girls. And even then, only when there was a scheduling issue.

I saw her reach for it, frown at the screen, then swipe the screen and lift it to her ear.

"Hello?" she said, all cheery.

Then I watched as her entire fucking face fell.

I swear, in a split second, she lost an inch in height.

She just shrank into herself.

"Who was that?" I asked when she hung up, looking like she wanted to fling the phone.

"What?" she asked, looking up, doe-eyed. "Oh, uh, nobody. It was… the call ended," she lied. "I… I need to go get changed," she said, rushing down the hallway, and closing her door with a louder than usual slam.

Was that the fuck with the anger problem? Getting in touch when she went no-contact with him? She definitely seemed freaked the hell out when she heard whatever was said on the other line.

The thing was, she didn't open up about that part of her life. And I had no fucking idea if it was appropriate to press about it or not.

Maybe that was a question I could ask my sister and sisters-in-law or even the Mallick women. I knew Lea came from an abusive background.

Of course, though, doing that kind of felt like a betrayal too. Because they would immediately know it was about AJ, since there was no one else in my life at the moment.

If it wasn't something she was sharing with anyone, it wasn't my place to share it either.

Where did that leave me?

With my instincts?

Which, yeah, weren't great at this sort of shit.

What can I say? When you spent your life hopping countries and continents, you didn't exactly get to know any woman longer than a weekend or a week-long fling.

I never had to deal with the emotional side of things. And I felt really ill-equipped to do it now.

I let Samson back in, then on a wild hair, placed an order on my phone before moving back into the living room to rearrange the couch, setting it up for two.

If I couldn't press her, and I didn't know what else I could say, the least I could do was… be there, right? Maybe even distract her a little.

It was about half an hour later when she came back out, changed into an oversized sweatshirt and pajama pants featuring little hearts, her hair pulled back in a clip, which only highlighted the fact that she'd been crying with her red eyes and splotchy cheeks.

"I ordered us some dessert," I told her. "Thought maybe we could watch a movie and stuff our faces."

"Oh," she said, looking taken aback. Like maybe she wanted to get me to bed, then fall into her own and finish her cry in private. But then, little by little, I saw her relax a bit. "Okay. What movie?" she asked.

"What's your favorite movie?"

"That depends."

"On?"

"Your willingness to watch something musical."

"I'm game," I said, shrugging. Even if the only ‘musicals' I'd ever seen were Disney movies when I was a kid. "What is it?"

"State Fair," she said. "But only the 1945 version."

"Old movie buff, huh?"

"When I was a kid, both sets of my grandparents lived with us. They showed me all their favorites. And they became mine. My maternal grandmother's favorite was State Fair. My favorite. And my paternal grandmother loved The Philadelphia Story, which is my second favorite."

"And your grandfathers' favorites?"

"Well," she said, grimacing. "One of them loved the 1960 Spartacus. And I really don't like that one. The other loved It Happened One Night, which I also love. Scandalous for its time," she added. "A shirtless Cary Grant and a lady lifting her skirt to show off her leg to hail a ride."

"I'm clutching my pearls," I said, making her giggle. And, hey, for just a second there, she forgot. And that was the goal.

"Alright. That's the food," I said when the headlights pulled in the driveway. "If you grab that, I'll find the movie."

With that, I did, and she spread the food across the coffee table.

"I think you went a little crazy," she said as she helped me move onto the couch.

"I didn't know what you might be in the mood for," I said.

"Chocolate," she said, immediately reaching for one of the giant brownies, then pulling one of my blankets over her, and settling in as I turned on the movie.

It wasn't long until she started to relax, humming and singing along quietly, then glancing over at me to gauge my reaction.

I wouldn't say musicals were my thing, but it was actually a decent movie with a love story that wasn't sickeningly sweet.

When it was done, I went ahead and loaded up her second favorite as she continued to plow through a ton of the desserts.

I only picked at some, aware of how inactive my body was in this healing journey, and not wanting to have a ton of weight to burn off when I was mobile again.

At some point, she must have started to doze off, because the next thing I knew, as I was watching Katherine Hepburn and Cary Grant talk circles around each other, her head fell gently onto my shoulder.

Little by little, she leaned into me as she fell deeper into sleep.

There was a strange as fuck tightening sensation in my chest as my arm slid around her, curling her closer.

I'd never had an urge so strong to pick up someone and carry them to bed before as I did right then. And, of course, it was the one time it was physically impossible for me to do so.

Eventually, she shifted herself so her legs draped over mine, and I had to have a talk with my body about not reacting to her.

She nuzzled into my neck and I couldn't seem to talk myself out of reaching up to remove her hair from her claw clip, feeling the silky strands move over my hand.

I couldn't tell you how long she rested against me, but the movie finished and a regular channel came back on, playing some action movie I'd been meaning to watch for ages. But I couldn't seem to focus on it.

Not with her so close.

So fucking tempting.

But then there was a scene in the movie full of bullets and then, finally, an explosion, that had AJ shocking awake.

The problem was… the position of her head on my shoulder.

Which meant when she shot up, her head whacked under my jaw, knocking my teeth together, sending pain shooting up my temples.

"Ow. Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry," she said, eyes huge as she shifted up onto one knee, the other halfway over my lap. Her hand moved to my jaw, framing my face.

I don't know.

I just lost all my control, I guess.

My fingers dug into her hip, pushing until she moved fully over me, straddling me.

Her breath sucked in as her lips parted.

And there was just no way for me to fight it anymore.

My hand lifted, grabbing the back of her neck, pulling her forward, and sealing my lips to hers.