12. There’s The Girl We Know And Love

12

THERE'S THE GIRL WE KNOW AND LOVE

I pushed open the front door and peered out across the endless expanse of snowy terrain surrounding our cabin. We looked like a trio of astronauts, preparing to space walk on an unforgiving planet. We'd collectively raided the closets for whatever we could find and were now donned in thick snowsuits and sturdy, if ill-fitting, snow boots. There was about an hour of good daylight left, the sky already turning a peachy mauve. The air smelled crisp and evergreen, something like hope filling my lungs.

Flora hefted our makeshift sleds in her arms. They were nothing but trash can lids we'd rescued from the garage, with Beau's express opinion that they created the most aerodynamic speed.

"So I came out here a bit ago and clocked that beauty of a hill right past the cluster of pines," he said, pointing to our left. "It'll be tough getting up but real fucking fun coming down. What do you think?"

"Sounds good to me," I said. "My ankle should be fine to make the trek too."

But he was already shaking his head. "There's no way I'm letting you trudge up that hill with a busted ankle. Hop on my back and I'll carry ya."

"Neither of you seemed very concerned about my minor injury when you ravished me on the couch earlier."

Flora wrapped her arms around my waist and nipped at my jaw. "I seem to recall you doing a fair amount of ravishing, babe."

"And your ankle was fine," Beau said.

"Were you really paying that much attention? Because my recollection is that you were very distracted."

His lazy grin sent a flush to my cheeks. "I was paying close attention to every single inch of your body." Then he dropped to his knees in front of me. "Now hop on my damn back. I'm not askin'."

With a roll of my eyes, I did as I was told, barely able to suppress my complete and utter pleasure at being cared for like this.

He stood, taking me with him, and grabbed my thighs to hitch me higher. "How's that?"

"Would be better if the person carrying me wasn't so insufferable."

He laughed and took Flora by the hand, setting us off toward the hill. "There's the girl we know and love."

I dropped my face to the nape of his neck, breathing him in. Steadying myself against the wave of fluttering feelings those words gave me.

A life with you, if you'll have us.

We began a slow trudge, boots crunching through thick layers of snow. Downed branches and tiny hoofprints littered the path.

"Why did you bring three trash can lids?" I asked. "I assumed we'd all be riding in a sled together."

Beau whistled under his breath. "Shit no, it's a race. The fastest person down wins and can then claim sled dominance over all the others."

"What on earth is sled dominance ?" I asked with a laugh.

"It's only Beau's ultimate goal because he's a notoriously sore loser," Flora said.

"How would you know when I've never lost?" he shot back.

She threw a snowball at his chest. He danced away, but it still struck him in the arm, soaking the side of my pants.

" Gotcha, " she sang.

He wrapped an arm across her chest and yanked her close, kissing the top of her beanie-covered head. "Gotcha back." Then he glanced at me. "And I wanna know why you think sledding was ever something other than a competitive full-contact sport. Who raised you again?"

"Peter and Todd," I said, still laughing. "And you're from Atlanta . Do you really think your knowledge of sledding is more than mine? The person born and raised here?"

He hefted me an inch higher. "I've lived here since college. That's ten years of adult-level sledding. I play to win. Every fucking time. And if Peter and Todd are spreading lies, I'll have to correct them at your birthday barbecue."

"Please don't," Flora said. "They're my best customers at the bakery, and I'd love to keep earning an income."

My dads threw me a backyard barbecue every year for my birthday, and they looked forward to seeing Beau and Flora more than anyone else. Had them over for Sunday dinners a few times when I was in California. Visited Flora at the bakery and dropped off food for Beau when he worked long shifts.

Maybe my parents had already sensed the truth of what we were becoming to one another.

Beau set me down gently at the top of the hill, and Flora handed me a trash can lid. The descent was smooth and steep, the snow barely disturbed.

Flora pointed to a short stump at the bottom. "Last one there is on dish duty tonight."

"Deal," I said.

"Good luck with those dishes," Beau said cheerfully. Then he hopped on his own lid and took off. Flora and I exploded in laughter and outrage. She sailed down immediately after him and I was quick to follow. We careened around sticks and tumbled through drifts of fluffy snow. My body was suffused with a heady buoyancy, a childlike freedom comprised entirely of wet mittens and wind on my face and my surging sled.

Beau flew past the stump well before us—but I lost control at the very end, pitching face-first into them both.

"You…cheated," I said, completely out of breath. "You're a poor loser and a cheater."

"Told ya," Flora said triumphantly.

Beau rose and pulled me up with him. He dusted his gloves across my jacket, shaking off the worst of the wet snow. "All I'm hearing is the sound of two people on dish duty tonight."

I narrowed my eyes. "Best three out of four."

"Are you issuing me a challenge, Paige Presley?"

"Are you scared?"

"He's definitely scared," Flora said in a stage whisper.

He stalked up to us both, giving her, and then me, a swift kiss on the lips. "Too bad I don't get scared."

I snorted. "Sounds like a lot of false bravado to me."

"Oh, I'll prove it," he said. "All spoils to the winner, I say."

"And what are the spoils?" Flora asked.

"You two," he said confidently. Before I could respond, Beau scooped me against his chest again and began jogging up the way we'd come down. "Come on Flor, I've got three more wins to achieve, and time's a-wastin'."

The next time down, Beau eked out a win, just barely, and celebrated by bending Flora backward in a Hollywood-style kiss. So I used their distraction to my advantage. I scooped up my lid and charged back up the hill as carefully as my ankle would allow.

"Now who's the cheater?" Beau yelled.

"I'm not falling for any of your tricks this time," I yelled back.

A second later, he and Flora were breathless and laughing next to me. All three of us made a sloppy play to make it to the top, half-tumbling, half-lurching back down again in our sleds. We did it again and again. A sixth time, then a seventh, the original bet lost in the joy-filled ruckus as our bodies ricocheted through the air. We were weightless and ethereal together, as free as I'd felt in years.

And on the eighth trip down, all of us panting and lying together at the finish line, I blurted out, "I moved to California because watching you start to date broke my heart."

They turned to me, their jaunty expressions becoming serious and their hands finding mine.

"I hoped throwing myself into a relationship with someone like Em, someone fun and exciting, would help me get past my feelings for you," I continued. "But all I really did was lock those feelings away, until I saw you again and realized I'd never, not once, stopped loving you. I only said yes when you asked me to plan your wedding because being close to you was always preferable to being apart." I shrugged, wrinkling my nose. "And…apparently I'm a masochist who loves pain."

Beau grabbed the top of my zipper and pulled me forward, hovering his mouth close. "Then let's make a deal. No more pain. No more lies. No more secrets. Okay?"

I swallowed thickly and nodded. His lips slanted over my own in a kiss that stunned, and I clung to his shoulders as he plundered my mouth. Like he could kiss away every time I'd kept them close while my heart was in anguish.

Flora took my hand and gently tugged off my now-icy gloves. She turned it over, pressing a kiss to my palm, then the inside of my wrist.

"I understand the impulse," she said, caressing my knuckles. "Beau and I at least had each other to love and confide in while you experienced all of this alone. I wish I could take that pain from you, wish I could go back in time and do everything differently. Including not asking you to plan our wedding."

"But I wanted to," I said. "I really mean that."

"You wanted to be around us," she said with a smile. "And when it boiled down to it, that was our motivation as well. We pretended it wasn't for a while, pretended this was just another aspect of our close, intimate friendship with you. Our crush to end all crushes. Then we realized that we couldn't imagine getting married without marrying you too. That's all we want, Paige."

My heart froze like the chilled air around us, a riotous bliss rising in me as her words became clear.

"You want…you want to marry me?" I asked, hardly containing the glee in my voice.

Her eyes filled with tears. "Yes, we very much do."