Chapter 18

18

E yela

It was hobby week for me and Karrington. We decided to take the time to indulge in each other’s hobbies. Today, we went shopping for me and were going to the underground casino later this evening for him. Over lunch, we talked about our wants, needs, and offers. Our love languages. It was funny how we’d been winging it up until this point instead of intentionally having this conversation, but it all worked out.

We had the same love languages: quality time and touch. It tickled me when he said, “I figured yours would be gifts.”

“They say your love language is based on what you received or didn’t receive in your childhood. I never wanted for anything financially. Daddy always spoiled me with gifts. I guess that’s why they aren’t that big of a deal to me anymore unless they are sentimental gifts.”

“That makes sense. I value quality time so much because my time is so limited and so was my father’s. The time he spent with me and Ma was special, you know? He was very intentional with making sure she knew she was loved, and that’s what I’m going to do with you. When we spend time together, it means the world to me.”

“That’s why you were avoiding me in the beginning?”

He chuckled and bobbed his head. “Yes. I knew if I spent time with you, I’d fall in love with you, and I wasn’t ready for that.”

“And now?”

“I am. I told you that. I know you have to see it, though.”

“I do. We’ve made really great progress. I guess I’m just still a little scared because I don’t know how taking away arranged marriages will trigger you. Like… what if you do that and resent me because you can’t be with Lulu?”

“You want the truth?”

“Always.”

“My plan was to demolish arranged marriages and divorce you so I could pursue her.” My heart dropped. “Then I saw my father’s soul leave his body and I realized this wasn’t the life for her. Then I married you and…” His head shook as he leaned forward and extended his hand on top of the table. I put my hand inside. “I realized there was a woman who was a better fit for me. I want you to hear me clearly when I say this. I want to be with you, Eyela Lowe. Even if I had the chance to end our marriage, I wouldn’t. And that’s not to say you don’t deserve a safe marriage like her…”

“I get it,” I said through my giggle. “I think we make good partners because we were born for this—literally. I’m a soft woman but I know what to expect from you and this lifestyle. It doesn’t scare me, and I’ll never judge you because of the things you do or decisions you make. I was scared about this marriage, but I’m proud to be the wife of the boss of all bosses. I’m proud to be the wife of Karrington Lowe.”

Karrington smirked and stood. He walked over to my side of the table and lifted me from my seat. With his arms around my waist, he lowered himself to me for a kiss. When he squeezed my ass, I could tell it was taking everything inside of him not to pick me up like he usually did. We may have had a rough patch, but I loved where we were now, and I was glad our marriage was arranged, because I don’t think fate would have led us to each other in any other way.

“Tell me your goals and desires,” Karrington said before taking two puffs from his blunt.

We were on our way home from the casino, and I’d enjoyed my night. I was nervous and shy at first, but he made sure I was comfortable and safe. While he played poker I played blackjack, then we met up again at the craps table and had an amazing time. I didn’t smoke often, but when I did, it made me giggly and hungry.

“The plans you have for your future,” he added.

“You already know my desire. I want babies. I hated being an only child. Yes, I was spoiled and had all of my parents’ attention, but it was lonely. It also made it difficult for me to make friends. I think that’s why me and Carma are so close. We grew up like sisters who lived under different roofs. I want to make a difference with my music too. I decided to start my own practice, but I do want to play at hospitals as well. Specifically children’s hospitals. That was where it started for me, and I want to give back.”

“I pray you never have to deal with that again. I would feel so helpless not being able to take that pain from you.”

“Well, it hasn’t come back yet, so I think I’ll be okay. You should know, though, if it does come back, I’m not doing chemo again.”

Karrington shifted in his seat so he could look at me. His head tilted as he stared into my eyes. I tried to hand him the blunt back, but he shook his head.

“What do you mean you aren’t doing chemo again?”

Shrugging, I avoided his eyes. “It takes a toll on the body. It’s worse than the cancer. I just… I can’t do that again. If I couldn’t have surgery, I’d just die.”

He chuckled but it ended in a second as a serious expression covered his face. “You’re joking, right?”

“Baby, I dealt with it five times—”

“I-I hear that. I hear you. It’s just…” His head shook as he continued to stare at me. “I know I can’t change your mind. That would be selfish. But I don’t want to even think about you leaving me. I’d want you to fight.”

My mouth twisted to the side. “I know. That’s what everyone wants when it’s not them. And who knows? Maybe I would change my mind if I felt I had something to fight for, you know? My family. My children.” I cupped his cheek. “My husband. But right now, I just can’t say I would do it. I still have side effects of the chemo to this day.”

Karrington sighed and lifted my hand to his mouth to kiss. “I get it, and I’ll respect your wishes, whatever they are. We just have to pray it never comes back, because if you left me, I’d have to come to heaven to bring you back.”

With a giggle, I pulled him close for a kiss. I wasn’t expecting our conversation to take that turn, but I was glad he understood where I was coming from and could make light of it. His acceptance made me respect him more. And he was right, we’d just have to pray, because if the cancer ever came back, I honestly didn’t think I’d change my mind.

To end hobby week, I planned a night of Lifetime movies for us to enjoy. We were going to have all of Karrington’s favorite snacks and spend the night in our home theater. While I waited for him to get home for the evening, I was on a group FaceTime with Tina, Faith, Zara, and Mia. All of our personalities were different, but they meshed well.

While Tina was the understanding and supportive one, Faith was indifferent, Zara was a bit combative, and Mia often went against the grain. Our differences often made for lively conversations, and I was glad I’d connected with them over the past seven years.

We were talking about my marriage because they were in disbelief of how well things were going for me and Karrington. I could understand that, but I hated feeling like I had to defend my marriage to anyone, especially my friends.

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Tina said. “People use matchmakers all the time. How is having an arrange marriage because of your family any different? It’s not just a mafia thing. People arrange marriages for their kids all the time. What matters most is that she’s happy.”

Faith shrugged as she said, “It’s really not our business either way. It’s her life.”

“Exactly,” Zara said. “Her life. I don’t think it’s fair that her parents control it.”

“What?” I chuckled. “My parents don’t control my life. I’m literally able to do whatever I want. I’m a grown woman.”

“Yeah, a grown woman who couldn’t choose her own husband,” Mia replied.

“Who cares? I’m happy, my husband is fine, wealthy, and he spoils me. You all should be happy for me.”

“We are,” Tina reasoned.

“Yeah, if you’re happy, we’re happy,” Faith added.

When Mia and Zara remained silent, I rolled my eyes. This was why we hadn’t been hanging together a lot since the wedding. They weren’t very vocal before it happened, but lately, Mia had been showing me a different side of her. If I felt like it was coming from a place of concern I’d accept it, but I made it clear I was happy, so I didn’t understand what her problem was. I was never one to allow people to lower my vibration, so I ended the call so I could remain in good spirits to enjoy my time with my husband. Not long after we got off, I received a text in the group chat that was just me, Faith, and Tina.

My Tina Pooh: GIRL. IDK what’s going on with them haters. They’re just mad they choose these bum ass niggas on a regular and your parents hooked you up with a good man.

Gotta Have Faith: FUCK EM ??????

Me: Y’all behave ??

As wrong as they were, I was too tickled. Maybe that was all it was—jealousy. Maybe they needed arranged marriages, too, because they certainly weren’t picking men well, especially Mia. Last I heard, her man had gone viral on TikTok because he went on one of those male cast podcasts and said some things about women and relationships that made him look unfavorable and her like a fool for being with him. Either way, I just wanted love and happiness for all of my girls, and I wasn’t going to let them make me feel bad now that I’d found mine—even if it was in an unconventional way.

The Next Weekend

Karrington had a rare night off, so he planned to party with his crew. He invited me but I declined the invitation. When Tina and Faith saw the video he’d sent me with his guys, they insisted on meeting up with them. I told them most of his friends were married but they didn’t want to hear that. Now, I was regretting my decision. My eyes were locked on Cocaine, and the cocky grin he gave me as he rubbed his palms together made it clear he was about to make his way toward me.

I hadn’t heard from him since I was in New York. A part of me thought he stood down after learning who my husband was going to be. Seeing as I’d told Karrington about what happened between us, I prayed Cocaine stayed away. He was with three other men, but I knew they’d be no match against Karrington and his people. Karrington had secured every VIP table available for his people. It was a rare occasion where all of his friends and their wives or girlfriends were able to come out. The only two that were single was Loki and Blaze, and they’d been entertaining Tina and Faith all evening.

My leg began to shake under the table. Karrington’s arm was tossed over my shoulders as he talked to Merc. My nails dug into Tina’s thigh.

“Ow!” She pulled my hand away. “What’s wrong, girl?”

I couldn’t speak. My eyes watered as I stared at Cocaine as he walked over to me. It was crazy how even sitting next to Karrington, this man was able to get a rise out of me. It had to be because I was so surprised by how things went the last time we were in each other’s presence. More than anything, I was hurt. Though I was grateful he’d stopped, it still hurt me that he’d violated me in that way. Following my line of vision, Tina cursed under her breath.

“Is he… He can’t be bold enough to come over here,” she said.

“What’s wrong?” Karrington asked. My eyes blinked and mouth opened but nothing came out. “Little one.” His tone firmed as he used my chin to pull my face in his direction. “What’s wrong with you?”

“He’s h-here.”

“Who?”

“My ex.”

His expression hardened as he released me. “The one who violated you?”

Nodding, I quickly wiped away a tear. Karrington’s eyes scanned the area, landing on Cocaine as he pointed in our direction. Karrington nodded toward security for him to be let in.

“Oh yeah, he’s crazy,” Faith said. Though they didn’t know what transpired between us, they knew Cocaine was disrespectful approaching me while I was with my husband.

My head hung instantly. He made me feel impure. Like I’d failed at the one thing I was supposed to do—keep my virginity intact for my husband. For my family. It may have been a silly tradition to some, but it meant a lot to me. And even though Karrington didn’t care, I still felt guilt over that.

“Long time no see, Lala,” Cocaine said, leaning against the table. “Can we talk?”

“Hold your fucking head up,” Karrington commanded in my ear through gritted teeth. “You have nothing to fear or be ashamed of.”

Sniffling, I nodded and looked at Cocaine.

“I don’t have anything to say to you,” I said so quietly I was sure Cocaine didn’t hear me.

“I just want a second of your time, bae. We have some unfinished business.”

Karrington stood, and so did the rest of the men at the table. Beethoven, Bully, and Merc came rushing over. Loki and Karrington exchanged looks, and Karrington nodded.

“My wife has nothing to say to you, but I do,” Karrington said. “I want to do this the easy way, so my men will escort you outside.”

Cocaine looked around at the men that had circled him and chuckled. “Unless you want to discuss divorcing my woman so I can have her, we have nothing to talk about.”

Karrington took a sip of his whisky, remaining silent.

My eyes widened as I watched Karrington smash Cocaine’s head against the table. He screamed as glass dug into his skin. The fear in his eyes was a stark difference to the calmness in Karrington’s.

“Eyela,” my husband called, forcing me to look at him and not the man I once loved. Or, thought I loved. My feelings for Karrington had me questioning everything I thought I felt for Cocaine.

“Give me permission to handle this nigga,” Karrington requested, voice trembling as he began to lose his resolve. “Take my collar off.”

The request was just a formality, I was sure. Karrington was going to do whatever he wanted. There was no way he’d let Cocaine leave this place without being punished… or worse. My eyes closed and I gritted my teeth. When they opened, I nodded. Like lightning, Karrington released Cocaine, and he was quickly ushered out of the section. Karrington lowered himself to my ear.

“Frasier and Steel are going to make sure you and your girls get home safely. I’ll be home after I handle this, okay?”

“Are you going to kill him?”

Karrington only smiled before he walked away.

My eyes were frozen on his back as he left. How wide and straight it was. How smooth and confidently he sauntered out of the space. How the rest of the men in the VIP section fell in line behind him. I knew how powerful my husband was, but seeing that power fluidly in this moment aroused me.

Tina and Faith asked me one question after another, and I finally told them about what happened. They were upset that I didn’t tell them immediately but got over it rather quickly. I didn’t want to feel sad for Cocaine’s fate. There were rules in the mafia. You didn’t sleep with a member’s wife, and you didn’t violate women or children. Both were automatic death sentences, and death was a welcomed end after the torture that was inflicted.

“Here, drink this,” Faith said, handing me her drink.

“Don’t cry,” Tina added. “He knew what would happen to him and he did that foul shit anyway. To hell with him.” I didn’t realize I was shedding tears until she said that and wiped my face.

Dauterive and her sister Dallas along with Neo and Whiskee had come to our booth. Even without knowing what was going on, they consoled me. Though we weren’t close, I appreciated the women and their warmth. Their nurture. This was going to be a long night, and I just wanted to go home.