Chapter 23

Chapter

Twenty-Three

K andie

I feel like my heart is breaking. I know sex doesn't fix things. I could feel him pulling away from me later that night, even as we showered and changed the sheets.

"I have to go check on Mom," he says later, pulling on his clothes. He shut me down with quickness when I asked if he wanted me to join him.

"She doesn't want people seeing her like that," he tells me.

I bit back the "So, I'm people now after you just had your dick down my throat and split me apart?" but I didn't say shit because I could tell he was already on edge about all the damage control he'd had to do on my behalf and everything going on with his mom. Plus, I knew I was being selfish and feeling super vulnerable.

A few days later, he had my bike delivered. I all but forgot about it. "Wow, is that new?" Joi asks. She's been hanging out at the bakery a lot more now that I'm also on the wrong side of most of the family now that the truth if what really went down with Easy and Angel has spread among the aunties and uncles like wildfire.

"No, he just had it detailed." I don't bother clarifying who ‘he' is. U and me are the worst kept secret in this town. Not that I hid from Joi or my other close girl cousins. Mama-Pete told us in no uncertain terms to stop keeping so many secrets after the travesty with Easy and Angel. Luckily, they are getting married again, so everything worked out.

"Umhm, seems like Nikki's not the only one that has a Shelby looking out for her." She gives me a mischievous wink hanging over the counter like a barfly. I swear this girl is nosier than me.

"See, there you go minding business that doesn't belong to you, Joi Annabelle Lee Love." Turning to hide my smile, I place still warm muffins on the display case alongside the newly iced cupcakes.

"Ugh, not you saying my whole horrible government name like that." Smacking the counter to get my attention, she reaches over, taking a cupcake.

"You're paying for that. Turn the sign to open." Nodding, she grabs her laptop and goes over to the exact same spot Ulysses occupied after my home and shop were broken into.

People mill in. Some take their goodies to go while others sit for a spell to catch up on the gossip and ask me all about Wildcat Kandie and wanting to hear the tale of how I escaped from the sheriff and the big, bad biker gang.

"Your legend keeps growing, girl." Ms. Ernestine chuckles, taking the cake she ordered as soon as she knew I was back up and running.

"Ms. Earnestine, if you don't go on with that." I laugh just as her door chimes and Pastor Nathaniel comes in and smiles like I made his whole day. Warm comfort settles over me, seeing his smiling face.

"Hey, there," he says, coming over to the counter. His perfectly crisp, pristine white shirt has natural creases in the folds. His belt is average size around his trim hips, khaki slacks and loafers have the effect of making him look the perfect southern gentleman. Nothing like the barely tamed beast I let have me anytime he crooks his finger.

Pushing down the inward cringe at knowing this is the man I should be picking but can't seem to muster the simplest interest in, I give him my best smile, which he returns a thousand-fold.

"What will it be? A banana nut or butter pecan muffin?" Moving to the muffins, I look over my shoulder and pause when I see a different light in his eyes. It's more intense than I have ever seen before.

"No, I think I want something a bit different this time." His voice lowers to an almost seductive timbre. My eyes round and I have to make myself stop before taking a step back. Wow. Where was all this swagger before I fled town?

"Um, okay?" What else is there for me to say? I think, waiting, feeling my face flush. This is wild. I'm still not attracted to him, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued.

"I'll have a bear claw today. I've been so deprived since you've been gone. I think I can indulge a little bit now, don't you?" His gaze eats me up.

"Definitely." I smile and give him a nervous laugh. Normally it's me who's doing the flirting, but I have to hand it to Pastor. He has a little swagger.

"I'd love to take you to brunch at The Camellia this Sunday," he says when I give him the bear claw and the complimentary coffee.

"I don't think that'd be a good idea, Pastor Nathaniel." Giving him a gentle smile, I don't tell him what everyone already knows just as well in this messy ass town. I belong to Ulysses, and he belongs to me. We don't have to put labels on it to make it so, it just is.

"I'm going to keep trying," he murmurs, green eyes with a hint of sadness, before giving me a jaunty wink and turning to leave the store.

"What's he on about?" I turn to see Joi's scrunched-up face looking after Nathaniel.

"Nothing, he's a sweetie pie," I say, wiping the counter. "What?"

"I don't know yet. A little smarmy, no?" She brings her smart onyx gaze around to meet mine. She's probably the shortest of us all, but has the most energy. Her hair is in two loose French braids with wild wisps coming out in a haphazard way, like she couldn't be bothered to do more than one brush through because she's so busy getting the story.

"No," I snap emphatically. I knew smarmy. I ran up against jack-leg ministers up close and personal and Pastor Nathaniel is not one of those. He's kind and not even his bad judgement in trying to date me when Ulysses would crush him in one fist can change that fight.

"Go find some real corruption or man the front while I fix some sandwiches." Rolling my eyes at her I turn to the kitchen.

"I can do both from right here. This is where all the best gossip is. All my best leads come from here." Watching the way her eyes miss nothing I know she's not lying. The only difference with me is people willingly share the tea with me. Joi eavesdrops and uses other nefarious methods for information.

Later, I close the shop and am grateful for my cousin after having spent the last hour going through my voicemails. I sped through a lot of them because they were basically for orders that I wasn't there to fill. The last half dozen were more recent and left me feeling sick to my stomach. One was the sounds of Ulysses and me having sex and another had an overlay with a distorted voice calling me every type of dirty whore.

"You should call the sheriff," Joi whispers beside me as we make our way up the stairs to my loft.

"He's with his mom," I tell her, looking over my shoulder to her onyx gaze pushing the key in the lock.

"Ohhh—mygodness." I see where she's looking past me.

Stepping into my loft, rage fills me. The small space is littered with paper. This time the person didn't do major damage, probably because I was downstairs. How'd they get in, though? Looking around, I see my French doors standing open.

"I'm calling the police." Taking her phone she starts to dial.

"No, don't. They are just going to tell me to leave and I'm not going to give this motherfucker the satisfaction," I tell her, going over to the balcony French doors and closing them.

"This is how he got in. I was being silly. You can see it's open from all the way across Big Love Park. He saw an opportunity and took it. The alarm wasn't even set." I'd left the doors open because I thought it smelled a little musty this morning and thought it would be filled with the scent of honeysuckle when I got back. I'd let the safety I felt at Honey Love Farm give me a false sense of security.

"You sure?" Her expressive face, so like that of her Korean mother, is filled with concern. And just like Aunt Nari, she is tenacious. "I think I should call, regardless."

"Joi, no," I exclaim. "I'm tired. People are already sick of me causing problems. Just help me clean this up."

Reluctantly she begins helping me set the place to rights. I make popcorn and break out a bottle of Cooper and Thief and we make a party of it. It probably takes us longer than it should for us to finish and by the time we are done we've had two bottles but my loft is spotless.

"Like it's never happened." I smile over to Joi who's busy reordering my important papers that were in disarray.

"Yeah, I'm almost done," she says, smoothing out one of our crumbled birth certificates. Mama-Pete gave me my legacy when I turned eighteen which included Daddy's heirs' property claim and all of our birth certificates. At the time I didn't know where Nikki was and Kerania and my parents were dead so I kept them all for safe keeping.

"Thanks," I tell her, feeling my phone buzz in my pocket as I head to the restroom.

U: How are you?

Me: Fine.

U: What's wrong?

Me: Nothing. Just had a busy day. How is Marlene?

U: …

My tummy drops. I hope he wouldn't tell me she passed over the phone.

U: Same.

I breathe out a sigh. My fingers hover over the buttons seconds away from asking him if he wanted me to come to him. He already told you he didn't. I remind myself not for the first time feeling this awkward tension on where we stand now. We haven't found our groove yet. Things are the same. I'm waiting for something else to happen and he seems much the same, like he's waiting for me to leave again and doesn't trust I won't.

Me: Okay.

Shoving my phone into my pocket so I can take care of my lady business, I head into my bathroom.

When I come back, Joi is knocked out on the recliner in the book nook. Taking a fuzzy throw, I tuck it around her giggling when she lets out a little snore.

Tidying up our little mess, I rinse our wine glasses, dump the rest of the popcorn, then flick off the lights.

Double checking my locks, I go over to my bed and post up. I know there will be no sleeping for me tonight.

Me: Goodnight

U: You want some company?

I know he doesn't mean for it to sound like he just wants sex, but it feels ugly to me. He left this morning and I haven't heard from him all day and now he wants to rinse and repeat?

Me: Is that all I am to you?

U:…

Then

U: What are you talking about?

Immediately I regret typing anything. Nathaniel wanted to take me to brunch and it made me realize that Ulysses and I have never been out publicly as a couple and the one time he could have claimed me he did everything in his power not to even acknowledge me.

Me: Nothing. Goodnight.

My phone buzzes several more times before I start to doze.

Someone knocking hard on my door has me wrenching into a sitting position. I look up and Joi's eyes are wide with fear with the blanket she tucked around herself as she read, pulled tight against her throat.

Taking my mace and bowie knife, I go over to the door. "Who is it?" I ask.

"Me," comes the heavy growl through the door.

"It's okay," I tell Joi. Her shoulders visibly relax as I turn to unlock the door.

"Who are you saying it's okay to?" he demands, not giving me a chance to fully open the door before he's pushing it wide.

His mouth presses in a hard line as he takes in Joi curled in the corner, giving him a limp wave.

"Satisfied?" I grouse, pushing him back out the door and coming to stand beside him on the porch landing.

"Not even a little bit." Smiling on the inside at the way he's turning my words against me, I do my best not to show him I'm affected. I've given this man too much power over me, acting like a besotted kitten every time he's around.

"Why didn't you answer my text?" he demands next, taking in my crossed arms and tapping bare feet. It's humid out here and I can already feel the T-shirt sticking to me. The warm air brushing against my arms makes my chill bumps rise and my nipples press against the material.

"That's why you came over here at o'dark-thirty?" I shake my head at his unhinged ass.

"I figured you must need a visit since you weren't answering." He shrugs like it's the most natural thing in the world.

"I fell asleep." Stifling a yawn on the word, I look at his troubled gaze. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to sleep."

Instead of letting me pass, his heavy hand circles my neck and he presses me against the door.

"Nah, I don't think so," he growls, crowding me into the door. "You fucking playing with me when I got so much shit going on, or what?"

He sounds more than a little miffed. He sounds angry.

"No." I tilt my head, which makes him tighten his hand on my throat. "I didn't hear the phone, U." I'm lying through my teeth and he knows it.

He squeezes, shaking me a little. "Stop. Fucking. Lying." His teeth are bared like he's about to snap my neck.

"You're the one who acted like you didn't want nothing to do with me." I feel like a silly little debutante and damn if he doesn't look at me like I am one when he drops his hand and steps back from me.

"If I didn't want anything to do with you, I'd have told you just like I told LaShaun when I took up with you." Scrubbing his hand through his locks, he looks like an aggrieved Adonis.

"Sorry I bothered you." Shifting to the door, I grab the knob, turning it. Snatching my hand away, he grabs me and presses me against the corner railing so I know I'm going to have indentions on my back.

"Boy, if you don't quit it." Pushing against the hard planes of his chest, I gasp. I may as well be pushing against the stone against my back with as much give as I get trying the make him back up.

"So what's going on, wildcat? You need tending to?" he growls. Deft fingers find their way beneath my oversized sleep shirt, which so happens to be one of his T-shirts.

"N-no." Shaking my head, I bite back my whimper when his fingers circle my clit.

"I told you not to lie to me." Hissing, he nips my ear, making me startle. "So wet for me, wildcat." He slips one finger inside, opening me for another to join.

My whimpers add to the music of the grasshoppers and other night life as he finger fucks me on my front step.

In seconds, I climax, coming against his fingers.

Stepping back, he sucks one finger, his eyes on me. He presses the other into my mouth. "So sweet. The next time you need a fucking, let me know." Pivoting, he turns and double times it down the stairs and around the corner. I stand there for a long time.

"Girl, if you don't get your tail in this house." She peeks her head out the door. "The way y'all let these guys get y'all all twisted in knots. I swear," she mumbles, going back over to the recliner as I head to my bed.

I get my buzzing phone and look at the missed messages, my heart stopping at the last one.

U: I'm picking you up at one pm for the wedding.

Ezekiel-Jane and Angel's wedding is a near catastrophe. All hell brakes loose soon after we took our seats. Me seated between two of the finest men at the event, Ulysses and Marcus, Nikki's supposed boyfriend, even though she barely looked at him once she locked eyes with Mathias Shelby not soon after she got here. Then all our phones started buzzing right after the wedding march with the headline: SHELBY SCION, MATHIAS SHELBY CAUGHT AT SUGAR BABY'S LOVE NEST! Byline by Joi Love.

It's the byline that has me fuming "by Joi Love". How could she do this when she's so quick to tell everyone Nikki is her favorite cousin?

I start typing furiously.

Me: It's on-site bitch.

Joi: He was taking advantage of Nikki. She's caught in his web.

Me: Then you should have talked to her. Like I said. ON-SITE.

I don't expect her to answer, and she doesn't. The fact that she hung out with me yesterday days ago only to betray my baby sister like that. Nikki's had enough challenges in her life. She doesn't need her name linked to Mathias Shelby, of all people.

"We need everyone to be patient. The wedding will resume in a few moments."

A few moments turns out to be dang near two hours and it's not just a wedding for Easy and Angel, no it's a shotgun one for Mathias and Nikki, who was hurriedly dressed in an extra wedding gown that was obviously hastily altered by Summer who seems to still be doing last-minute fixes while both women hold on to the arms of LL at the end of the door of the chapel.

The march sounds for the second time, and I can't help but notice the cold visage of Mathias Shelby as he goes through the motions of the vows. Nikki looks frightened, but resolved. Knowing her as I do, I can't miss the emotion on her face. She loves him. She may not be ready to admit that to herself, and it's clear he's not a safe place to share her sentiments with all the anger he's not bothering to hide. For the first time since I lost her, the first time I feel real fear for my sister. This man had no qualms about killing his own father. What will he do with an unwanted wife?

I feel Marcus stiffen beside me when the new husband and wife kiss.

"I'm so sorry this happened." Absently, I pat his hand.

"Oh, it's not your fault. It's not even Nikki's." Covering my hand with his other one, he pats mine sandwiched between his. "I'm well aware of who the culprit is." His voice sounds chilly even for his posh British accent.

"Sommerland, if you don't get your hand off my woman, you're going to be spending your last breaths in the futile attempt to breathe in a freshly tilled sugar cane field.

"Barbarism suits you well, Sheriff," Marcus says cooly, removing his hand.