Chapter 23

MANDY

I stand in the living room of our new quarters, spellbound by the view. The Haxxal is positioned closer to the other Darrvason ships than the Jansonna , providing a more thrilling perspective. I have a front row seat to the numerous shuttles that are moving to and from the Darrvason ships, and I swear the hyperdrive bubble is more luminous from my current standpoint as well.

Stars streak by outside the shared hyperdrive bubble, and as I behold the sight, a sense of calmness starts to descend. I savor a few deep breaths, thankful my chest is no longer tight with worry.

I’m not on the Jansonna anymore.

My heart races. I can scarcely believe it. I always imagined when I first departed the worldship, it would be in the company of my family. It would be when we finally landed on a habitable planet after decades of searching for a new home for humankind.

Leaving the Jansonna didn’t quite work out the way I expected, but I’m starting to come to terms with the departure. I turn from the viewscreen and peer around the lavish quarters. It’s a hundred times more luxurious than the Founders’ quarters that my mate temporarily called home.

Thoughts of Kameer give me pause. He’s been absent for hours, called to a meeting with Admiral Tornn, and though I miss him, I’m also grateful for the solitude. Because I need to be alone with my thoughts. At least for a little while.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to Kameer’s ability to discern what I’m thinking and feeling. It still scares the shit out of me, but I’m not sure there’s anything I can do about it. Keeping a shield around my mind takes a lot of energy and concentration. I can’t do it every hour of every day.

Hearing Kameer’s thoughts and sensing his emotions is also jarring. Now that I understand the level of possessiveness he harbors for me, I’m increasingly worried that he indeed had a hand in Ned’s death. But whenever his mind is open to mine, I never have the courage to poke around. Nor do I have the courage to directly ask.

If I learn he’s a murderer, I’m not sure what I’ll do. Try to escape? Try to prevent the heartbond?

I think about planet 58-Zallnanis. I don’t know much about the newly discovered world, but I’ve heard it’s similar to Earth. It contains several large continents, vast oceans, lush forests, and fertile land perfect for growing crops.

If I manage to run away from Kameer, could I find a safe place to hide on 58-Z? A new place to call home? As I consider this possibility, my head spins as I think about finding shelter and food on a strange planet. Will there be dangerous animals? Will some of the native vegetation be unsafe for consumption?

My spirits sink. I feel safe with Kameer, mostly, but Ned’s demise is a darkness I can’t outrun. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about it. I can’t forget, and one day, I must learn the truth and face it. I can’t remain a coward forever.

A shiver descends as I recall Kameer’s vision, the daydream he’d inadvertently revealed when the tether that sometimes connects our minds was active, when he’d fired the blasters at Ned and killed him on Selection Day. There’s no question about it. Kameer wanted Ned gone. Dead. But did Kameer kill the elderly Founder himself?

I sigh and drag a hand through my hair, combing out my long locks. My stomach growls, and I traipse to the kitchen where I find a food replicator. After using it to make an apple pastry and a cup of tea, I pad to the living room and sit near the viewscreen.

Though our new quarters are large, containing over fifteen rooms, the furniture and décor are arranged in such a way that the place feels cozy. I wish Mom and Tasha were here. I wish they could see it and also glimpse the amazing view.

Oh, God. Mom. Tasha…

Dad.

After we arrive on 58-Z, how often will I see them? Will the human settlement be safe, or will there be more uprisings against Captain Warren?

Countless worries parade through my mind, until I lose my appetite and set the pastry aside. My biggest fear, the fear that’s kept me awake at night, is my concern about what life in the Darrvason settlement on 58-Z will be like. Will I have any freedoms there?

Will Kameer keep me sequestered in his house, or will I be allowed to leave and spend time with the other human females? Would he allow me to open my own salon? I’ve always loved my job, and I can’t imagine not working, not helping others look and feel their best.

As much as I don’t want the heartbond to form, Kameer’s made it clear that my safety is at risk until it happens. He’s worried an unmated Darrvason male might be tempted to steal me, but if I’m coated in his scent and I’m wearing his ancestral markings on my arms, I’ll be completely safe from the attentions of rogue unmated alien males.

But if the bond never fully forms, I fear he might keep me as his prisoner. My throat burns. If the bond doesn’t form, he won’t allow me to visit the human continent. Perhaps I shouldn’t even try to shield my mind from him anymore. Perhaps I should open myself completely to the possibility of a heartbond.

Just as I return my dishes to the kitchen, footsteps sound in the entryway. I glance up to find Kameer striding in my direction, his expression dark and dangerous.

I take a step back, unnerved by his visage. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen him so angry. My stomach flips, but then as I lean into the tentative bond, I realize his anger isn’t directed at me.

Through the bond, the very bond that scares the hell out of me, I detect the heartache of betrayal. The betrayal of a friend or perhaps a comrade with whom he works closely.

“Kameer.” I push away from the counter and approach him. Maybe it’s a bad idea, but I don’t try to close my mind off to him. I let myself remain open, and I invite him in. Our souls rest side by side in a warm safe place, and my throat burns at the intimacy that passes between us without any words spoken.

“Mandy.” He opens his arms and draws me close, embracing me to his chest. He rests his chin atop my head, and I breathe in the enticing masculine scent of him.

“What happened during the meeting?” You don’t seem pleased. I sense you are dealing with a betrayal.

With slow, tender movements, he caresses his fingers through my hair. My scalp prickles, and goosebumps erupt on my arms.

Kameer? I prompt when he doesn’t respond. I sense he’s deep in thought, and for some reason I can’t latch on to the details. Has he suddenly shielded his mind from me? Even though I’ve done the same to him, I can’t help but feel hurt by the possibility.

Finally, his words penetrate my awareness. There’s been a development in the investigation that is troubling. Officer Brute also attended the meeting, and he presented evidence that implicates one of my crew members on the Jansonna . I don’t want to believe it, but the evidence is damning.

I’m so sorry, Kameer. Truly, I am. Has the crew member been arrested?

Not yet. He gazes down at me with a look of fury that breaks my heart. Because the fury is a mask for his sorrow. Officer Brute plans to set a trap that will determine whether the suspected crew member is indeed the culprit behind the attempts on my life. Until then, I must remain on the Haxxal . He growls. I’ve been ordered to stay in these quarters.

When will the trap be set? I ask through the tether.

Within days. He clears his throat. Speaking of traps, with the help of Officer Brute, I’ve set one for Captain Warren. One that should result in the immediate release of your father from the brig.

“ What kind of trap?” Hope rises within me.

Kameer smirks. We transmitted a video compilation to Captain Warren that shows him and members of his command team in multiple compromising situations. Well, I suppose it’s more blackmail than a trap. Because if he doesn’t free your father by tomorrow morning, the video will be released on every info screen on the Jansonna .

I’m about to ask what kind of compromising situations, but then I catch glimpses of the video from Kameer’s mind, and I gasp. It would seem several members of the command team have engaged in fornication, taken illegal drugs, and committed a number of other crimes. Commander Hampton’s deeds appear to be the worst, but Captain Warren comes in as a close second.

I wrap my arms around Kameer’s center, then stand on my toes and pull him down so I might place a kiss on his cheek. Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you . Tears burn in my eyes, and I blink fast as I’m overcome with emotion. Gratitude swells within me, and for a brief moment, I consider that perhaps a lifetime as Kameer’s mate might not be so terrible.

Unfortunately, the huge Darrvason hears this thought, and a deep frown mars his visage. He grasps my shoulders and glares down at me. At first, I think he’s angry, but then I sense his predominant emotion. Frustration.

You still have doubts? His voice rumbles in my head. We can hear one another’s thoughts—the heartbond is impending—yet you still doubt our compatibility? Darrvasons mate for life. You’re mine, Mandy, you fluxxing belong to me and I will never let you go. How many times must I remind you of this fact?

Though I’m not a Darrvason, I somehow manage to growl like one as I settle a glare of my own on Kameer.

How dare he? How dare he scold me for my private thoughts?

You bought me, I tell him. You made a despicable man wealthy just so you could have me. You made a deal with the fucking devil.

Then it happens. I think about the message that appeared on the info screen the morning after he first claimed me, the message I still haven’t confided in him about. The message that once brought me hope that I would escape him.

You will soon be free of Chief Kameer.

Before I take my next breath, I sense his betrayal through the bond, as well as his suspicion. He’s worried that perhaps I’m in cahoots with the person or persons who want him dead. My stomach flips at the thought.

No, no, no , I send down the bond in a panic. It’s not what you think.

Why didn’t I tell him about the message?

Why did I continue keeping the secret?

Guilt presses down on me from all directions. The thought of any harm coming to him rips me apart. Maybe if I’d told him about the message, he could’ve tracked the sender and prevented the most recent attempt on his life.

“Just one message?” He grasps my upper arms. Though his hold is firm, he’s not hurting me. “You just saw one message and you truly have no idea who sent it?”

I nod. “Yes. I’m sorry. I-I didn’t realize it was a threat to your life. If I’d known, I would’ve told you immediately. Despite how much I wanted to escape you then, I still would’ve told you.”

But it brought you hope that I would be taken away from you. Hope that you would be released from our mating union. His voice is a deep but calm reverberation in my head.

Yes , I admit. But I won’t apologize for that part. I can’t. You bought me, Kameer. You claimed me as your mate even after I begged you to let me go. There’s no point in lying.

He draws me closer and caresses a hand through my hair. I lean into his touch as a tear cascades down my cheek. He wipes it away with his thumb. His gentleness makes me want to cry harder. I’m not even certain why I’m crying.

Well, perhaps it’s because I’m finally coming to terms with the big scary truth. I cannot imagine life without him, and even if an escape were offered to me at this very second, I don’t believe I would take it.

My upper arms tingle to the point of itchiness. I’m tempted to glance down, but I don’t. Because I can’t look away from Kameer.

I am not angry with you , he says down the tether as he tamps down his initial frustration. I know what I did to you, pretty human. I know that from your perspective, I was the frightening alien male who wanted to steal you away from your people and claim you as his forever. I wanted to do forbidden things to you that you didn’t quite understand. His smirk is a playful caress through the bond. I wanted to make you blush and tremble, and I wanted to take your innocence . He growls as his hand tightens in my hair. I wanted to make you mine.

“You did all those things, but still I don’t hate you.” I whimper as his hardness presses to my stomach and a spasm of heat affects my core. “I don’t believe I could part with you now, Kameer. I would… miss you .”

His pleasure ripples through the bond alongside a sense of victory. He leans close, preparing to kiss me, only for his wrist comm to buzz and beep. He emits a low growl, and I don’t need to share a mind connection with him to know he’s annoyed by the interruption.

A slight shudder runs through the ship, and a glance out the viewscreen shows the fleet is no longer traveling in a shared hyperdrive bubble. Kameer follows my gaze, then he glances at his wrist comm and his eyes grow wide.

“What is it?” I ask in a hesitant tone. I suddenly don’t feel quite right, and I hope Kameer doesn’t have to leave so soon after returning to my side. Not only am I hot all over and aching for his touch, but my upper arms feel aflame.

“The hyperdrive’s safety protocols just initiated a shutdown, and the engineers I’ve tasked with maintaining the system are having difficulty troubleshooting the issue.” He gives me an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, pretty human, but I’m needed in engineering. I promise I won’t be gone for long.”