Chapter Eight

"Y ou can talk?" I ask as he stands in front of me.

He nods, clearing his throat.

"Why the fuck don't you talk then? You have been making me guess your gestures for weeks, and now I find out you could talk the whole time?" I feel my anger growing again.

He sighs before he speaks. "Hurts."

He coughs a few times, clearing his throat over and over.

It hurts him to talk?

Some of my anger fades.

"It hurts you to talk? Does anyone else know this?"

He shrugs before shaking his head no.

So something I only know? Why does that endear me to him even more?

"I see. I'm still angry at you. You left me here with nothing to do yet again. I've been trying to be a good houseguest, but enough is enough. I need more than this existence." I fold my arms over my chest.

He nods, trying to move away from me again, but I grab his shirt to stop him.

"I'm not done talking to you."

He stops, looking me in the eyes. Then he goes to speak again, but I put my hand on his mouth.

"Nope. Use your notebook."

He frowns at me but pulls it out of his pocket.

What can I do to make this better?

I sigh. "I need more than the food you bring home. I need vegetables and a real meal. I can't keep eating this stuff. It's making me sick."

He looks away guiltily.

"Hey, none of that," I tell him, pulling his face back around so I can see his eyes. "You've never taken care of someone before, have you?"

He shakes his head.

"I'll teach you. The hair stuff was a start. I also need hygiene products. Body wash, shampoo, razors, toothbrush, and lotion. Tampons and pads, too. Using toilet paper is the worst."

I shiver as I remember when my period came last week. It was miserable. You would have thought I was the murderer instead of Kado.

Anything you need. Tell me, and it's yours.

I almost ask for my freedom, but that's not what he means. Instead, I ask for what I really want.

"I need to leave this place sometimes. There are no windows. I have no idea what day it is or if it's nighttime. It's really messing with my psyche. I get that you don't want me to go on jobs with you, but I need something. I need sunshine. Interaction with people. Can you at least give me that?"

He hesitates for several minutes. Finally, he writes something, turning it around to show me.

Promise not to run away? I don't want to lose you.

Those words punch a hole in my heart. Here I am thinking selfishly, but this man is as starved for companionship as I am.

I shake my head. "At this point, I have nothing to go back to. My apartment is probably empty. If I did run, you guys would find me. I knew what I was getting into when I made the choice, Kado. You don't have to worry if I have one foot out the door. Maybe day one, but it's been weeks. I've accepted my new circumstances."

He lets out a breath, then nods. This time, I let him back away. I try to step down from the counter, but he turns, glaring at me.

"Why can't I get down?" I huff.

He moves toward me, touching my foot.

"You are worried I'll step on the glass? Then get my shoes."

He shakes his head, grabbing my hand next.

"You are worried about my hands too? I need to clean this up. It's my mess."

He pulls his hand back before grabbing his notebook again. He writes for a minute before handing it to me and turning around to start cleaning up the glass.

I haven't been properly taking care of you. This was your way of opening my eyes. Making me wake up. So no. This is my mess, and I will clean it. You sit there and look pretty until I'm done. If you feel like talking, I'd love to listen. Your voice is the best part of my day.

My heart catches at the last line. I look to his back as he bends down, picking up glass pieces before dropping them in a garbage bag he must have gotten.

"My constant chatter doesn't annoy you?" I ask.

He shakes his head as he continues to focus.

"Well, that's a relief. I never liked to talk much before, but now it's like I can't stop. Your home is so quiet all the time. Do you think we could get a TV with some movies or something? Anything to help break up the day? Oh, and I want a clock. I'll beg if I have to, but I'd like to get my body back on a regular schedule."

It's like I can't stop. Now that I've started asking for what I want, it's like it all comes pouring out.

"I know you said I can't go to work with you because it is dangerous, but I would still like to go places with you. Maybe I can go to the grocery store with you. Or maybe that nice lady at the scary boss's house would like some company?"

He glances over my shoulder, a small smile on his face.

I still refuse to use the man's name. The neighborhood is frightened of him for good reason.

I wonder if Kado is part of that reason.

"She was a little weird, and I don't know how she is married to that man, but she seemed nice enough," I tell him as he finishes picking up the glass.

He nods, coming over to me. Then he picks me up. My legs wrap around his waist as my arms go around his shoulders.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" I ask, anxious that he might drop me.

He doesn't say anything as usual, carrying me down the hall to the bedroom. Then he sets me on the bed before pointing at my shoes.

"You want me to get my shoes on? Why?"

He smiles, leaving me in the room. I'm dressed in his clothes still, but I don't bother changing. I only have one outfit, and it's the outfit I used to wear to clean. I avoid it like the plague now.

Once my shoes are on, I head back to the main area to find Kado sweeping. I lean against the wall as I watch him.

There's something so sexy about a hot man doing chores. I could watch him for hours.

He has other ideas, though. As he finishes, he turns and smiles at me. He gestures to the door.

"We are leaving?" I ask, not hiding my excitement.

He nods.

Running over to him, I hug him. He startles, but slowly hugs me back.

"Thank you," I whisper to him.

It's soft, so I can't be sure, but I think he says "Anything for you."

If that isn't the sweetest thing, I don't know what is.

The transformation in Lucy is instant. As soon as I told her we were leaving, she became excited. Her face lost that sad look. She even hugged me.

It was the best damn hug I've ever received.

I would do this over and over again for her if it brings her this much joy.

It's the middle of the day when we leave our place. I'm struck when I see the sun beaming down on her face as she closes her eyes and tilts her head to the sky. She is beautiful. Like a goddess. Especially with the light outlining her like a halo.

Her wistful smile has me wondering what she is thinking. So much so that I tap her forehead, making her jump.

"Sorry, just soaking in the sun," she tells me.

I tap her head again. She frowns before smiling.

"You want to know what I'm thinking?"

When I nod, she seems almost proud of herself that she understood me. It's almost like understanding my random gestures is a game to her. One she wants to win. That has me feeling hopeful.

"I just missed the sun. It feels nice on my skin. Where are we going anyway." She changes the subject as if she doesn't want to reveal more.

That is when I realize how dark my house really is. There is only one point of entry and exit, which is by design. No one can sneak into my place.

Looking at it from her point of view, I realize there is also no natural light. No way to tell if if it's day or night. No wonder she has been going out of her mind.

I want to punch myself for not realizing it sooner. Instead, I grab her hand and pull her along.

"Okay, I get it. It's a surprise. That's okay. I love surprises," she says as I help her into the car.

The entire trip to the grocery store, anata chats away as if I'm an active participant. She pauses when she needs an affirmation that I am listening, which I give with a nod or the squeeze of my hand on hers.

She doesn't seem to mind, though. She continues to ramble, not realizing the more she talks, the more I am falling for her. I could listen to her talk about the weather for hours if I could. Her voice is calming. Melodic.

I am hesitant as we walk through the grocery store, though. She is paying me no mind as she chooses items, holding them up for my approval. It doesn't matter what it is. I say yes.

Still, I wonder if she is planning to flee. Is this when she tries to make her big escape?

After several moments, I start to really pay attention to her. As if she was a target, I let myself get in tune with her every movement. I tell myself it's because I need to keep a close eye on her so she doesn't escape, but the truth is, she fascinates me.

The way she scrunches her nose when she finds something appalling or the way she pulls an item closer that she really wants. It's endearing.

It is also why I notice that she will touch an item, almost as if she wants it but knows she can't have it. She is denying herself, but I can't figure out why.

Knowing the middle of the grocery store isn't the place for a conversation like this, I decide to take matters into my own hands. Any item I feel she passes up but really wants, I put into the basket.

"Do you like pancakes? I could make us some homemade ones if we had the ingredients."

Truth is I hate sweets for breakfast. I never understood the concept. I'm a meat-and-eggs guy, but for her, I will eat anything. So I lie by nodding.

She goes about gathering the items for it while I continue to memorize her. The sway of her hips. The way her hair falls, brushing her back. Her tongue poking out and licking her lips.

Every single movement, I file inside that imaginary filing cabinet in my head to dissect later. Lucy doesn't know this, but I want to know every single thing about her. I don't want a single thing to escape my attention. Not only so I can make her life with me better, but because I am addicted to her. I need her in my life.

"I think that's about it." She frowns down at the cart.

I think I've been caught, but then she sighs. "Maybe I should put some stuff back. This looks like it is going to cost a lot."

I shake my head and grab her chin so she will look at me. I stare straight into her eyes and shake my head once more.

"Okay, I won't put anything back. You won't let me work, though, so I don't know how I can pay you back."

I glare at her, making her swallow hard. She looks a little scared, so I soften my features. I don't want her to think I'm angry, but I also don't want her to worry about silly things like money anymore. She is mine, and I will care for her.

I think I fucked up royally, but then she surprises me. She reaches out and takes my hand.

I stare down at it for several moments before she speaks.

"Sorry. Is this okay? I thought you liked it." She goes to take her hand away, but I squeeze it tighter.

She laughs. "You like it. Good. I'm getting better at this."

I tilt my head to indicate I'm confused.

She smiles to herself, shaking her head. "Understanding you. I'm getting better at understanding you."

Pride beams in my chest at that statement as I realize she really does. She's the first person to truly put in an effort to understand me without the use of any writing or typing. Miya tries her best, but she doesn't get to spend enough time with me to truly learn my habits. Kai and Kenji understand a little better, but I still need to rely on the notepad because they don't understand everything.

I haven't used my notepad once since we left the house, nor have I had to use my phone to get my message across. Lucy just spoke to me, and when she didn't understand, she stayed patient, guessing what I was trying to say.

She truly does understand me.

I pull her along, not wanting to admit that emotions are swirling inside of me.

I unload the cart, refusing to let her help, much to her dismay. Instead, I hand her my card and indicate she should stand at the end, waiting to pay. I hate paying because the cashier always tries to make small talk, and well, that makes it hard on me. When I indicate I can't speak, sometimes they try sign language, which only embarrasses me further.

I have Lucy now. She can handle that part of shopping.

Or so I thought.

As the cashier rings up our items and chats with Lucy, I notice she is becoming visibly pale. Lucy keeps glancing over at me as if she is going to be sick. As I place the last item on the conveyor belt, I move to her side. I place my hand on her head, but she feels fine.

"I'm so sorry. This is too much. We should put things back."

I shake my head, pointing to the card reader. She shakes as she slides my card through. One hundred and forty-two dollars isn't even that much, but Lucy is acting like it's the end of the world. I could have spent a thousand times that, and my card wouldn't have had an issue. Yet she is acting like I am going to go bankrupt.

She's quiet as the bagger puts all our items back in the cart. I smile at the cashier as I take the receipt from her before grabbing Lucy's hand and pulling her along with me as I push the cart to the car.

She's in a state of shock of some sort. She lets me lead her to the car and put her in the passenger seat before I load all the groceries in the car. When I get in the driver's seat, I turn to her, grabbing her face to turn it to me.

I tap her head again.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to go crazy in there. I shouldn't have gone to the store hungry."

She tries to pull away, but I keep her firm. I shake my head again, then wave the receipt in the air. I make a motion as if cutting my neck to indicate it's nothing.

"I won't do it again. I promise." She looks frightened now.

I shake my head again, sighing. Letting go of her chin, I look at the receipt, shrug, then wad it up and toss it to the floor.

"A-are you saying it's nothing?" She hesitates.

I nod. I make the motion for money with my hands, then shrug.

"Money is nothing to you?" she asks.

I nod.

"You have a lot of it?"

Again, I nod.

She sighs. "I have been poor for so long that a trip like that would have…actually no. I wouldn't have been able to pay. I would have been embarrassed when my card was declined. There's no way I could have paid for all of that. I'm not going to lie, that has my anxiety through the roof."

I grab her hand, kissing the back of it. Then I mouth to her, "Not anymore."

She smiles at me. "I don't know how I feel about you taking care of everything for me, but thank you. Thank you for telling me I don't need to worry. I still will, but I will try not to."

It's the best I'm going to get for now. One day she will lose the sting from her past life and embrace the new one. Until then, I will keep showing her that she is safe and cared for.

She never has to worry about a thing again.